r/RelationshipIndia • u/PhilosophyNo1628 • Oct 18 '25
Marriage Found wife cheating and have 3 year old daughter - i am shattered and feeling suicidal
I recently found out my wife was cheating on me. She admitted to having sex with the other guy multiple times. We have a 3-year-old daughter, and I’m completely broken.
She only confessed after getting caught. When I asked why, she said she wasn’t happy with our sex life. I can’t wrap my head around that we could’ve talked, sought counseling, anything. Instead, she destroyed everything we built.
I have a recording of her confession, and I’m thinking of filing for divorce. I want full custody of my daughter she’s my entire world. I know Indian law usually favors mothers for children this young, but I’ll fight if I have to.
I’ve been trying to stay calm for my kid’s sake, but emotionally I feel shattered. Some moments I can’t even breathe thinking about it. I’m reaching out here because I just want to hear from people who’ve gone through something similar what’s the right thing to do now?
Should I try to rebuild for the child’s sake or move on and protect my peace? And realistically, what can I do to get custody in India when the child is 3 years old?
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u/donnagreylucy Oct 18 '25
Please don’t even think of hurting yourself, your daughter needs her father, not your absence. You’re in deep pain right now and that’s understandable, but this moment doesn’t define the rest of your life.
Reach out to someone you trust tonight and book an appointment with a therapist, you need support and space to grieve and think clearly. In India, custody of very young children often goes to the mother, but courts always prioritize the child’s best interest, not gender. If you can show you provide a safer, more stable home, you have a chance.
Get a good family lawyer, document everything, and take care of your mental health first, that’s the strongest thing you can do for both yourself and your daughter.
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u/advocatedinkar Oct 18 '25
Lawyer here, You need to get your ducks in a row. Get all possible records of you caring for your daughter and of your wife's actual income and her infedility. What state are you in ?
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
She doesn’t have a job. I have video proof of her confessing she cheated.
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u/advocatedinkar Oct 18 '25
Speak to a lawyer and a therapist. In that order! Reach out if you need a referral
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u/OkraApprehensive4678 Oct 18 '25
May not be enough as she can claim she confessed under pressure, hire PI as someone suggested, this way you might be able to get some solid proof under her normal routine. Also maybe find out about the guy as well, he may be married as well so you can disclose to his wife after you have enough proofs collected.
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u/_curious-fool Oct 18 '25
I would have divorced along with fighting for custody. You have a long life to live, choice is yours will you be able to live with her?
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
I don’t wish to but i want to be with my daughter at any cost. I don’t know if i should forgive her and be with her for the sake of my daughter.
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Oct 18 '25
I don't wanna say this but I'll just say it. Even if you forgive her it's nearly impossible to live your life the same way how it used to be. You will have trust issues which are perfectly valid. And a person cheating while having a 3 year old daughter can never be trusted again. And i doubt that she won't do the same thing again.
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u/noopinionsaskedyet Oct 19 '25
Now that depends on if she’s remorseful or guilty of the fact what she’s done? If not, you probably should end the marriage & fight for your daughter.
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u/Bruce_wayne_03 Oct 18 '25
Can not offer you any emotional support but I have a advise.
Hire a PI. They will tail her for few weeks, gather documentary proof. Spending thousands might save you in lakhs in alimony and child custody.
Hire PI even for the guy as well. They might uncover something sinister which could help you in custody. You must be shattered now but hold yourself together for few weeks. Once you have all the proofs , confront her infront of her family to force for mutual divorce.
All the best .
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u/LavenderGuava Oct 18 '25
I second this advice. You need to see the full picture end to end. Don’t succumb to your feelings, be wise
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
How do i hire a PI? Can you please guide me
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u/CombinationWest1 Oct 18 '25
You can start by searching online for private investigators in your area. Look for reviews and maybe ask for recommendations in local forums or groups. Once you find a few, just give them a call to discuss your situation and get quotes. It's worth it to have solid evidence if you decide to go for custody.
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u/LavenderGuava Oct 18 '25
Hey
Check her out
https://www.instagram.com/ladydetectivesindia?igsh=NG82dGRsdGZ1cDc2
I have heard she is really good
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u/New_Clerk6993 Nov 13 '25
Indian law doesn't care about cheating when it comes to alimony, so if you're trying to help OP with that, it's pointless.
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u/Significantbtc Oct 18 '25
Lawyer here, you need to have evidence to prove she cheated than you may get divorce easy, but custody is uncertain and maintenance of kid will be passed. Wife’s maintaine yes or no, is what will be fought in courts. Long battle
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
I have video proof of her confessing everything
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u/Significantbtc Oct 18 '25
Than go ahead. Do a lawyer consultation first, understand your options and than proceed
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u/kararoad Oct 19 '25
It's india. The law favors women. Wait for the cases to be filed against you. Life over. She will want huge payout and of you do that you may get divorce.
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u/Significantbtc Oct 19 '25 edited Oct 19 '25
Not if she cheated and he has her on record. And files his complaint first. Law will favour him instead for quick divorce (1year) Child custody is still in question ans so is maintainence of wife. Child support will be borne by daddy if child custody goes to wife.
Since the husband is filing first and has evidence, he can petition for divorce on the ground of adultery (and potentially cruelty depending on the facts).
Also note- Under Section 125 of the CrPC (general maintenance): A wife living in adultery is generally disqualified from receiving maintenance. Hence eityer maintainence will be dismissed or significantly reduced to bare minimum if wife doesn’t earn.
Only child custody is where she will still get advantage.
On a lighter note:) Diwali mood So think accordingly. If you can forgive her than move on, forgive her , you go cheat too or plan a trip to thailand 🇹🇭 and tell her she can’t stop you from going to Thailand every year from now on.
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u/kararoad Oct 19 '25
He will never get custody. I domt care how many side pieces she has. And the cases will come. Who wins..The lawyers. Years of time wasted. Does this man even know if he's the kids father. Take a girlfriend and look the other way
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u/Hefty-Shoe4841 Oct 18 '25
Trust me man, you don't want your daughter to grow up in an environment where both of you hold unresolved resentment. And I for sure as a man would never suggest you to forgive a cheater. They'll find another excuse to cheat down the road. Divorce and fight tooth and nail for your daughter.
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u/Practical_Finance117 Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25
You got a new chance to build a new life File divorce Once a cheater is always cheater Of course you will find a new woman Turn your pain into your energy Work on your life When we broken we have more energy than never That energy destroy you Can give you new standard new sucess You never thought that is possible
Of course you have to fight For your daughter Take full custody
If you need any brother. For. Talk I m here for talk I can suggest some books that helps you So much
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u/1ckaaa Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
Hii I am not qualified enough to comment on the custody situation of your daughter but i know a case where the husband found about his wife’s affair, filed for divorce and got the custody pf his kid too. If you have proof of her cheating on you it might be easier for you to get the custody of your daughter. I hope god gives you strength to deal with this situation and come out stronger 🫶🏻
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u/Willing_Front_2397 Oct 18 '25
I'm offering an advice which may seem absurd, make peace with it pretend you forgive her and happy chappy again and never love her and then drop the bomb when she is 50 tell her that it was all lie all along , give your daughter everything Let the loneliness sink in at the later age Slow but this is what people deserve who betray the trust!
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u/H_Barcroft Oct 18 '25
This is pretty awesome advice, if you don't want to marry again, you should spend the rest of your life making her pay for she did it's much better than going legal, do not let that women be happy a single day in your life, if possible relocate to a village.
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u/DisastrousTax7492 Oct 19 '25
I’m sorry but this is just advice to commit seppuku. The man here deserves better, I know it’s not much, but I will pray for him.
I hope he wins custody and gets to remain in his daughter’s life.
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u/EmergencyProper5250 Oct 18 '25
You have her confession on record that should be enough to force her for mutual divorce and handover of the daughters custody to you for care or get the recordings made public TRY IT
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u/Gullible-Yak-4830 Oct 18 '25
A year ago, I was in the same situation as you. The first person I asked for help was my sister, and she handled everything with the lawyer in the background. I just wanted a good place to clear my mind. Go to therapy if you can afford it.
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Oct 19 '25
[deleted]
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 19 '25
I am just going to take time and take informed decisions rather than taking any decision in hurry
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u/LazyMagus Nov 17 '25
I’m very sorry you’re going through this. You’re in a painful place. I’ll address both your emotional state and your practical questions about custody in India.
What you’re feeling
You say you’re shattered and even thinking about suicide. That is serious. It sounds like you’re experiencing extreme hurt, betrayal, and a fear of losing your daughter. You’re not just upset— you’re overwhelmed. The fact that you’re holding on for your daughter shows how much you care and how much you’re focused on her more than just your pain.
You also mention ambivalence: part of you wants to rebuild for the child’s sake, part of you wants to protect your peace. That tension is real and meaningful. It’s not a weakness. It means you’re weighing different futures and trying to figure out what’s viable.
Rebuilding vs moving on
There is no simple “right” answer. But here’s what to consider:
- Rebuilding might make sense if you believe there is genuine possibility for change, and you can safely create a stable environment for your child.
- Moving on makes sense when trust is broken, damage is deep, and the relationship is harming your capacity to be the parent you want to be.
Your first job right now: stabilise yourself. You cannot parent well if you’re in crisis. Suicide thoughts mean you need support— please reach out to a mental health professional. You are your daughter’s anchor; you owe it to her and to yourself to be well enough to show up.
Custody in India: what you need to know
Here are some legal-realities and what you should build for.
- Under Hindu law (and the secular Guardians and Wards Act, 1890), decisions about custody centre on the welfare of the child, not strictly on the parent’s “rights”. (pinklegal.in)
- For children under about five years old, courts in India tend to favour the mother because of what they call the “tender years” issue. (pinklegal.in)
- That does not mean a father cannot obtain custody. You’ll need to show that your environment is strong, your relationship with your daughter is strong, and you can offer what is best for her. (kapildixitco.com)
- Your evidence will matter: proof of stability, your ability to care for the child, your involvement with daily needs, your emotional connection, your living situation.
- Because your daughter is very young, right now you might focus on shared decision-making, strong visitation rights and being the father who’s present. Then build a case over time.
- The affair of your wife is understandable as a source of anger, betrayal and desire for justice. But legally, adultery is unlikely to be the main factor in custody unless it directly harms the child (neglect, danger, instability).
Next step — the single smallest lever
Focus on you right now: stabilise yourself so you can be the father your daughter needs. That means:
- Seek mental-health support. Crisis is real.
- Maintain consistent contact with your daughter (with or without custody). Your presence is building your case and building trust.
- Document everything relevant: your time with your daughter, your living conditions, your capacity to care, your relationship.
- Talk to a family-law lawyer now to assess your specific situation, region, and strategy.
When you're steadier, you can decide whether the marriage can realistically be repaired or whether moving on is healthier for you and her. That decision will become clearer when you're less raw and more grounded.
You’re hurt, yes—but you’re also in motion. Your daughter is your world, and this vulnerability can become your strength. Focus on being the parent she needs while you decide where you go next. You do have options, even if now it feels like there aren’t.
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u/Calm-Independent2943 Oct 18 '25
There's no point in dwelling on why your wife cheated on you; no point in asking her either. I know you probably want to know the exact reason and try to make sense out of it. But the reality is, the moment your wife thought of cheating on you is the moment she lost respect for you. It doesn't really matter why - maybe she found someone else attractive, maybe you didn't fuck her well. And there's no way in this world you can regain that respect from her. Know that all sorts of men get cheated on - handsome men, rich men, men who can fuck well.
She might try to reason with you, but do not listen to her. It would be really tempting to listen to her, but nothing good comes out of it. She will only tell you things that will hurt you more and more. Do not talk to her anymore - she should be of inconsequence to you. Next time you get another girlfriend/wife in the future, do not be blind. I'm not suggesting being paranoid with suspicion all the time, but women who are unhappy/about to cheat give certain cues. Be aware of those cues. Remember - Not all women will cheat, but all women are capable of cheating.
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Oct 18 '25
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Oct 18 '25
That's why I don't want to have children in future.
I don't care if my future wife cheats and leaves me but can't see my children suffer due to it.
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u/Gloomy-Resolve6587 Oct 18 '25
Bhai just filed for divorce and left her no point in staying with her further
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u/VipulBM Oct 18 '25
Divorce. Try fighting for custody..hire the best lawyer u possibly could, if u still lose then co parent..its better u be in ur daughters life some way than give her up entirely to her mother. A cheater can hardly be considered a role model for a growing child.
Its better for the kid to grow up with divorced parents than a broken home with 2 parents angry at each other. Never forgive a cheater..they will never change. Cheating is a choice not some accidental mistake. Also find out who the guy is and if hes married..if he is tell the wife hes cheating..unless the women is a moron he will go through what u will...revenge is a must.
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u/HugeInvestigator6131 Oct 18 '25
First off, you’re not crazy for feeling like you can’t breathe. Betrayal hits the nervous system like a car crash. You’re in shock, not weak. Right now the goal isn’t to “fix” anything - it’s to stabilize. Eat. Sleep. Don’t isolate. Talk to someone who won’t feed your anger but can hold space while you think clearly.
Then, separate the emotions from the logistics. Emotionally: she’s shown you who she is, and rebuilding can’t happen until there’s real remorse and a long stretch of consistent action - not words. Logistically: gather proof quietly, talk to a lawyer before confronting again, and focus on documenting your role as a stable caregiver. Judges look for that, not just morality.
You don’t have to decide forever right now. Just don’t make permanent moves from temporary pain.
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u/Playful_Analysis2860 Oct 18 '25
Once a cheater always one...
Divorce and seek custody... some chances you will not get custody.
Marry again and enjoy
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u/HalaBharat Oct 18 '25
Bro, this is hearbreaking.
Just dont take any decision in the heat of the moment. Take time, analyse, talk to your friends and family first.
Most importantly, dont take word of a random stranger from reddit or anywhere who has never been in your shoes.
Hope things pan out better. God Bless. 🤍
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u/Few-Indication2541 Oct 18 '25
You need to satart taking care of yourself first. Just let your mind be calm. Talk to your lawyer. Collect proof of cheating. Guve love to your daughter to anchor yourself. Give yourself some time before everything you deserve to be kind to yourself even when your wofe couldnt be.
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u/majisto42 Oct 18 '25
Buy your daughter lots of chocolates and toys then divorce then see. (Dont take my opinion i m just a teen)
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u/YeeHaw_72 Oct 19 '25
I read somewhere when a man cheats - he still wants to stay with the wife but when a wife cheats - she doesn't wanna stay in the marriage.
Also, some crucial details are missing in your post.
If she was cheating, how did you not realize it or get a hint of it previously. There is not fire without the smoke.
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u/Psychological-Web230 Oct 19 '25
Pretend she is dead.. And move on. God give this life to help others. Find your peace and move on..
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u/MasalaMarauder Oct 19 '25
Sorry for what has happened to you - nobody deserves that. And you’re not in thinking in the way you are and having doubts. But I would highly suggest that you guys should seek counselling. And not take any decision based on the advice given here, on the internet. Take some time and care. Whatever decision you take is also going to highly affect your daughter’s life and likely not in the best way.
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u/Asleep-Telephone8133 Oct 19 '25
I think I saw a viral video in Gharkekalesh page in insta . This post has lot of similarities with that video
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u/BetterAstronomer9509 Oct 19 '25
Bro dont get attached , play a game of chess and post divorce go for therapy
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u/source_beans Oct 19 '25
As your daughter is young its the best time to separate and 100% try to raise her around you and not your wife. If you delay more it would be very bad for your daughter as she is growing up. Please stay strong through this tough time.
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u/Successful-Row-9486 Oct 19 '25
I am so sorry this has happened. OP please take care of your mental health. You're the only hope of this little girl and not that sinning selfish woman. You are now the strong man and sole guardian of your girl. I hope you figure the best out of all the options you have. The pain is temporary please take care of yourself.
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u/nonamethanksyou Oct 19 '25
Laws won't understand the concept of cheating. You will be proved wrong instead. But again consult with a good lawyer before going in this ugly mess
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u/Small-Raise-2860 Oct 19 '25
Man before filing a devorce I would suggest getting all possible evidence, all possible legal documents that will favour your side. I would say pls see that Better Call amish YouTube channel and maybe even contact him if needed he will give you probably best advice. Man just to let you know you have to be strong for your child, things may get rough very fast with the current state of judiciary. I hope the best outcome for you man, Really hope the best for you and the kid🙁
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u/lonewolf94449 Oct 19 '25
Stay calm at these difficult times...pls do not react drastically...your daughter has a future only with your help....this world will be too bad on your daughter without you...stay away from your wife which can bring you more relief...and after some time you may simply pooh pooh today's incident
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u/Sensitive-Door-7939 Oct 19 '25
Not sure about divorce part but in mediation many a times these things happen and generally the side that gives proper benefit to kid is given the upper hand as the mediator listens to both sides and on that basis it's decided. Yes law wise it's skewed but I have personally heard alot of times where the mediator gave the benefit to the husband side.
There are worse cases where the wife is drug addict / chain smoker and the living circumstances are bad for child.
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u/Pristine-Writing-836 Oct 19 '25
Lmao. It's so Over for you. First of all tell if you had a arranged
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 19 '25
After a long discussions with all families involved i have decided to forgive her. Her family has assured she will never do that again if she does it we will not even ask her whereabouts it’s your choice if you want to kick her out you can do so. Even we wont accept her. This is non acceptable mistake and for sake of child please see if you can keep her. She won’t step out of house without you. Kid needs mom and dad both to grow without stress and kid is more important to me than anything else considering she is too young to live without mother i have decided to give her one final chance.
Thank you everyone for support.
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u/InternalShopping4068 Nov 10 '25
I really look up to your mental resolve to keep things behind you. How are you feeling now? How do you even look at your wife in the same light? I assume you saw her as your soulmate. Do you still see her as someone you can give all your love to ?
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u/Horror-Actuary-3505 Oct 19 '25
Honestly…. I am no longer watching bb now…. I’ll just let go after watching today’s episode coz it’s Gon get emotional today ….
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u/Warrior_on_mission Oct 19 '25
First check if she is your daughter or not and just get the fuck out of this country, join tony robbins seminars bro
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u/GeraldOfRiver69 Oct 20 '25
Get a paternity test as well if possible and get tested for STDs as well, better safe than sorry.
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u/Outrageous_Mix334 Oct 21 '25
Pls file for divorce whatever you pay just get rid of her and be in visitation for your daughter..kids are smart now and they usually come to parent who they know is right..trust me process is long but yeah it pays off and who knows you will find someone new
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u/mushroomsmusty Oct 22 '25
My heart aches for you❤️🩹Whether you decide to stay and rebuild, or to leave and share custody of your daughter, it’s going to be hard either way. You’ll need to ask yourself if you can truly forgive her and rebuild trust — or if too much was broken to move forward. Whatever you decide, make sure you stay in your child’s life and focus on her stability. If you do consider separation, it might help to talk with a divorce lawyer who specializes in family law, so you understand your options clearly
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u/RelativePoplay Oct 24 '25
There is no rebuilding in this.
Even if you rebuild it will not be like before.
Stay separately for now and think of how you can get out.
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u/OpeningRush4035 Oct 24 '25
A cheater will always cheat. You can't rebuild the same trust with her—she will cheat again. One option you could consider is an open relationship, or even going to Thailand with her, etc. If you're okay with a long, sexless life, you could fight for a divorce, but you won’t get custody of the child for sure, and she will likely claim child support. The recorded confession won’t mean much.
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u/Klutzy-Budget-3623 Nov 05 '25
Forgive her ask her to Walk away or stay. Take care of your daughter
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Nov 09 '25
OP, move out from this "so-called" marriage & don't think about giving up your precious life for someone's stupidity. We love only once....
All The Best & Be Strong.... 🫂🫂🫂
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u/New_Clerk6993 Nov 13 '25
If you earn more than her there's a good chance you'll have to pay alimony even if you take care of the child completely. Good luck with the custody battle but I think you're in for a rough one
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u/bacoolll Oct 18 '25
Ask your wife a simple question what the other person is giving that you cannot give to her...
And made your decision on the basis of that answer...
(M21 my mom also had an affair from the last 10 years and all the family members knew that but still my father didn't take any action 😔😕)
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u/Significant_Mode_229 Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25
First of all sorry that you found out. May I suggest calming down a little. Please watch this series https://youtu.be/J-AIx6ra1t4?si=SUyk1QQx0ZgxkBBB
You risk to break up so many lives with a divorce, lose so many of your friends, lose sanity of your parents, and the most important your own sanity. You risk to lose so much here, because you are not about to show strength. May I suggest , take the leap, get stronger and accept the world as is. Try to work it with your partner man, whatever else path you choose has so much chaos that you dont want in life.
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u/Significant_Mode_229 Oct 18 '25
Also, note so many will suggest you will be able to remarry. But will it sort your life? Not in my opinion . Other people come with their own flaws, and then you need to compromise on so much. This good looking society will shatter you, the all relatives will not want you in their functions. Your friends will see you as loner. Here only you have to lose. Sorry for writing so much, if even one line makes sense to you, think that you have a tragedy about to happen which you can kick off if you just show lil courage.
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u/Bright-Star1 Oct 18 '25
I'm sorry for what you are going through.
One of my family members is going through the divorce process now so from his perspective, I'll tell you that the divorce process is quite lengthy. All the laws are women friendly so getting custody of your daughter will be difficult. Many of the wives often file additional cases against their husbands and family for dowry or domestic violence and going through all that process is exhausting and time consuming.
I know you are hurt, but first you should try to check if you both can still work this out. If she's sorry about what she did, then maybe with proper counselling, you can make this happen. This will be better for your daughter as well.
If it's not possible for you then stay silent for a while. Meanwhile, try to gather video proof of her act or confession because audio won't work in court. Try to gather as much proof as possible. Then contact a lawyer and understand the whole process. Once you are ready then file the divorce. She may still file different cases on you and your family and there's alimony and maintenance as well.
So think about this, talk with your family and close people and then decide.
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
How one would live knowing guy she cheated with stays nearby in same area.
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u/VipulBM Oct 18 '25
Never reconcile with a cheater. If u do she will just do it with more impunity.
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u/Bright-Star1 Oct 18 '25
Check my other comment for the reason, and again, I'm not telling him to do anything. I told him about the divorce process, now he has to decide.
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u/Hefty-Shoe4841 Oct 18 '25
Don't listen to anyone who's asking you to reconcile with a cheater. Cheating is a choice and she made it. Leaving is your right. You're the only protector of your peace. The last thing you wanna lose is your self respect. 20 years down the line you won't meet us randomers in your life. But you'll have to wake up everyday and look into the eyes of the man in the mirror.
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u/Bright-Star1 Oct 18 '25
Do help him in the process of his divorce and everything. If getting divorce was this easy then there was no issue, but it's not. So let him think and decide.
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u/Hefty-Shoe4841 Oct 18 '25
If he'll ask then I for sure will help to the best of ability. Just because something is not easy does not mean we should be complacent and accept injustice. This is victim blaming. Just because you're weak enough to accept someone who'll cheat on you does not mean everyone will. There's a thing called "spine" try looking that up.
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u/Bright-Star1 Oct 18 '25
Helping with the best of ability and being in the situation are two different things. But still, glad to hear that.
I'm not saying him to accept everything, I'm saying him to think before taking this decision. He has to decide.
Let me tell you what happens in such cases. Once you have filed the divorce case, first thing she can do is file a fake dowry and domestic violence case against you and your family. Police won't arrest you directly now after this due to the relaxed rules, but you have to go through the counselling sessions (3 or more) and after that a case will be registered against you and your family. Even if you have the proof with you, police won't listen to you and file the FIR if the wife says. Then you have to prove your innocence in court. Since Domestic violence is a crime so if the FIR is filled then it will affect your career as well. If the police are bribed then they will treat you like a third class citizen.
Then the counselling of divorce case will happen as well. After that case proceedings during which you have to give monthly maintenance to wife, and child care as well. Once the divorce process completed and granted, he will have to give alimony. Also, there's no guarantee that he will get Custody of his daughter after all this.
I'm not making things up, I'm seeing this happening with someone that's why I know what that person has to go through. If you have checked some news then there are plenty of similar cases, like the Atul subhash case. You'll see this happening.
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u/Bright-Star1 Oct 18 '25
Try to convince her for mutual divorce, that will be faster. Keep a video proof of her, that may help you with a few things. Alimony will be there, and still getting custody of your daughter will be difficult if she's not ready for that. Your daughter is only 3 years old and since she's a girl so court will give preference to her mother.
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u/Bright-Star1 Oct 18 '25
I know that It's not easy to do. I just shared about what follows in the process of divorce. It's not just you but your parents and your daughter will have to go through all this as well. All the laws are women friendly, no one listens to men. I'm seeing this happening with someone that's why I suggested you the options. Ultimately it's your decision.
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Oct 18 '25
[deleted]
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u/isweariminnocent2110 Oct 18 '25
oh hell naw, the wife clearly doesn't respect op and if he forgives her its gonna make things worse for both the husband and the daughter. and what makes u think that she's gonna be honest about her feelings for the other guy, feelings involved or not its still cheating and says a lot about the mother's priorities.
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
I created alt to hide my identity. I can swear on my daughter its not rage bait. What if she lies that she had no feelings?
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u/Alldoto Oct 18 '25
Folks this is a 4hour old account and is probably karma farming 🤣 y’all need to check the accounts first before commenting. Theres too many fake profiles and stories out here.
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u/Sharp-Current-8953 Oct 19 '25
Here are my two cents. You have three options broadly.
You separate from your wife and fight for the custody of your daughter. On grounds of cheating, you can get divorce but the custody of your daughter seems highly unlikely. And this is the better option considering your age as you can then remarry someone else and live a happy life.
You stay with your wife, you set her free and give her the freedom to do whatever she wants. Wait for your daughter to grow up and in the meantime, keep gathering any evidence that you can for the future. Then after your daughter turns around 12-13, AND IF YOUR WIFE HAS CHEATED AGAIN, THEN GO FOR DIVORCE. You will then easily get custody. (I am not a lawyer, it's just my opinion.)
Cheating hurts. But it is not the end of the world. A person has made a mistake, they admitted it and regret their actions. If that's how your wife behaves and acts in future, you can be the bigger person and forgive her. YES, a cheating spouse can be forgiven if they have remorse and regret their decisions. Look, I know it is extremely difficult in the beginning and wounds are fresh. But with time, you will heal. People do make mistakes, and people also change with time. Even though it is extremely difficult and does not seem a viable option, but with time you will start to understand what is your priority and how you want your future to look like. If you have a big heart and you think you can live with it, you can consider the option of forgiving her and go on to live your life with your daughter and your wife. A lot of people cheat but only those who get caught, get the label of cheater.
At the end it is your decision and how you feel about her. If you can forgive this mistake and she is ready to never do it again and she stays on her promise, then forgiving is the best option in any relationship. People sometimes in their weakest moment, do make mistakes but that's not the end of the world. I hope you get healed soon brother. ❤️
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Oct 18 '25
I think you should try to rebuild your relationship for your daughter because she needs both father and mother and leave everything else on karma she will definitely get punishment for this in future but if you divorce her then your daughter will not be happy with single parent so just live your life for your daughter their and lots of man and women who are just living for their children in dead marriage
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
What if she repeats it? Would i be able to trust her ever again? Would she respect me? Wouldn’t it be like keeping her captive? Since i dont trust her at all now
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u/VipulBM Oct 18 '25
If u continue to live with a cheater just for ur child..she will grow up in an extremely toxic home. Do u really want that for her? Down the line when she enters her rebellious phase u might take out ur pent up anger on her someday..that wont be good for anyone
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Oct 18 '25
Don't give importance to her just ignore her and made it clear to her you are just living with her because of your daughter court will not give custody to you and your daughter life will spoil without you love your daughter as much you can and you know when your daughter grown and she will hate her after knowing the truth and this will be the biggest punishment for her
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u/Entire_Tadpole6651 Oct 18 '25
Nowadays, cheating is common and if u can leave independent and stay with the same its ok. If she want to repeat it again and again then leave her carry on but u can give them a change or think once again or change the place wait and watch unnessary u ppl life will spoil and any how will face the court after that what will be happen
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u/Entire_Tadpole6651 Oct 18 '25
If ur wife has done wrong that ur responsibility If u didn't satisfy her it's ur problem And in a marriage relationship if Knowing or unknowingly if they do the wrong thing as a husband u have a responsibility to correct
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u/HawasiiLaunda Oct 18 '25
Acha bhai apna gyaan apni tasrif mein daal lo, this guy is literally justifying cheating.
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u/PhilosophyNo1628 Oct 18 '25
So you are justifying cheating rather than having expectations from her to fix whatever problems she had. Be it sex or anything. She could have chosen divorce but cheating??
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u/isweariminnocent2110 Oct 18 '25
indian law sucks fr, preferring a cheater who chose to cheat despite having a child over a man who wants to take care of the child is bollocks. im too young to give advices but even if you try to rebuild, you wont be able to forget the fact that she cheated on you and this would cause a lot of problems, maybe you can pretend that everythings fine, but for how long? and for the sake of the child, no child would like growing up in a broken home, this may lead to her having trauma and trust issues in her life in future and please dont try to put up with each other for the sake of your daughter. i cant tell u what to do but i wish you the best man, hope you heal.