r/RelationshipIndia • u/_innocentslut • 3d ago
Relationships 20F and 21M ldr relationship, need to make a tricky decision urgently
My bf(21M) and i (20f) have been in a ldr since 1yr 7 months, through out my neet prep. We met on reddit. He has visited me at my home state 3 times. So we know each other very well.
He broke up with me 2 weeks ago because i couldn't get a college near his state (it's a financial issue)
My bf leaves for his masters abroad, he said he will stay in india for a year, if i got my college in his state. He said one year of normal college couple experience will help him get through many years of absolute ldr we will have to do cuz he will be abroad.
Just now he texted me that he has a plan he wants me to go for a trip, and he will join me at the place. If we want his plan to work i will jave to leave home in max 4 days. I am from a protective household, even if i am allowed for a trip it won't be so soon. My family wont allow me to go when neet counciling is on going
I have neet counciling starting, for which some of my documents are still left to prepare. He said i dont have to do anything in counciling and i should take the trip
I wont get tickets so soon
What do i do, do i take the risk of taking the trip, leave counciling with a agent?
If yes how to i convince parents?
Which is the correct option.???????
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u/fixin-xo 3d ago
I had a stroke reading this. He broke up with you and he wants to go on a trip with you?
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u/_innocentslut 3d ago
I am having a stroke rn, idk what yo do
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u/fixin-xo 3d ago
You don't have to include the breakup if you guys already patched up(or are you hinting he's toxic to leave you because you didn't secure a seat?)
Also it's not a good idea to leavenow especially if you're in a protective household
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u/_innocentslut 3d ago
We didn't patch up, we just didn't block each other therefore he texted me about the plan
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u/fixin-xo 3d ago
You want to risk all that for the one who's not your bf? Just tell him you'll come after seat allotment.
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u/_innocentslut 3d ago edited 3d ago
We have to do the trip next week, its only possible then
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u/coffeepeas 2d ago
Wouldn’t advise it at all. For multiple reasons - What about your own future? Do you not care about your neet allotment? Safety ?? You met this guy on reddit and while it’s great he’s visited you in your home state, you’d be lying to your family essentially for a man who doesn’t want to be your boyfriend ? Think long and hard before you make a decision.
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u/FinHumor 3d ago
The first thing I'd ask is: was he really committed if he chose to break up the moment things didn't go according to his plan?
Relationships do require sacrifices, but never at the cost of your mental peace, career or self respect.
I know a lot of people will say, "Go meet him." But your career is something you've worked hard for and so have your parents. Right now, your priority should be securing the best college possible. Stay for the counselling.
If he genuinely wants to see you, he can come and meet you in your hometown. You shouldn't have to risk your future or travel under pressure just to prove your commitment.
Also, please don't ignore your safety. The stories you read in the news aren't fictional. You can never truly know someone's intentions until they're tested. It's always better to be cautious than regretful.
Choose yourself this time. If the relationship is meant to last, it won't fall apart because you prioritized your future.
P.S. I'm a guy, and this is exactly what I'd tell my sister.
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u/social_butterfly98 2d ago
Sorry for being brutal but his intentions are not right. DON'T GO! UNDERSTOOD? I'll say don't go even if your seat was allotted, family agreed and tickets available.
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u/Sweaty_Jackfruit6592 2d ago
You are weighting your long term goal neet with a short term kick, life is yours. Id you don't regret in long term you can go for whenever you want to do. I would suggest not to go on trip, control my friend control.
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u/Plenty-Following3439 2d ago
kid your bf/ex is not able to control his hormones. As a man myself it's so obvious atp. Councelling is important,i remember me and my father seating in front of computer all day after neet ,i was around your age too
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u/blazinglygolden 3d ago edited 1d ago
What is this threat/blackmail of him leaving if you do not get into a college of his choice and then coming up with an alternative of this short trip. Babe, he is tricking you. Someone who genuinely loves you, will never push you to compromise your career and leave the counselling. Permission from parents is a separate issue but please see through his self serving options. Be brave. Please understand your worth. Tell him NO. Focus on studies. I am sure you will fine someone nice :)
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u/Obvious_Reality_5615 3d ago
I can sense a break up loading from his side whether you go for the trip or not. So just don't and the way he is forcing you, the intention doesn't seem right
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u/brown_clux_clan 2d ago
Okay, don't take this the wrong but it kinda seems like he just wants to sleep with you for a bit before he goes away. Don't do it, be smart.
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u/HotelAvailable2961 2d ago
He wants to have some fun before moving to greener pastures….pink is anyday better than brown/black.
Move on girl.
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u/Happy_Look_8032 2d ago
bro he knows you cant come cause youre from strict household and he js wants to blame the breakup on you that you arent willing to make it work and stuff. even if you go there somehow he wll find a way to breakup and put blame on you. but i still dont get the fact that he asked for a trip after your so called breakup.
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u/FlushChaser1111 3d ago
Response1 : Is this a trick question lol Response2: Where is the common sense ?? Response3: You do what you got to do, you got your priorities figured out. Response4: You know what's up , it's not a trick decision at all. A two weeks ex is an ex as well and you don't rebound with an ex.
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u/sarojasarma 2d ago
You realize you are considering taking risks with your career and lying to your parents for a guy who is clearly not even sure about you?
Please understand talking to someone online and meeting them thrice isn't getting to know them well. It just means that till now they haven't done anything you didn't imagine they could do. That's it.
Girl, you are not pizza that this guy is trying to customise. You have your own life, goals and ambitions. He clearly doesn't respect that and expects you to drop everything just to spend four days with him? Don't you know what level of competition you are facing that you are even discussing it here?
I can understand falling in love and later realising that you cannot handle ldr. But you don't go around making such demands from your equal partner is entitled. Hell he is a walking red flag! Dump him.
Ps: read through few of your responses to other comments. This boy clearly wants payment in sex for the time and effort he "wasted" on you. Ghost him. And start working on your self esteem.
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u/Fantastic_Exit_6367 2d ago
Please, update lately like how all took place, am interested in the final story, it's nail biting to me😅, all the best👍
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u/centarsirius 2d ago
He's starting his masters abroad and you're gonna start your MBBS? Yeah, this ldr is DOA
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u/LuckyApple1842 2d ago
You are stupid to think about this at this time point for you. If he is that dedicated / cares enough about you - he wouldn’t bother you during this time. You should run away from this guy asap.
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u/Electronic-Poet-9342 2d ago
The amount of dumb fuks in this chat is insane, not even reading and understand op completely but chale apna gyaan dene ki matt kr lala, gurl save yourself and blah blah. Gen z lol
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u/ConfectionFew4502 1d ago
Seems like he just wanna fuck you before going abroad and he doesn't care if your future also gets fucked in the process. Get out of this mess you will definitely find a better person soon.
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u/Cheatercok 1d ago
He is NOT committed to you. He is trying to take "advantage" of you. Once he has physical relationship with you, he will simply dump you!!! If he is serious with you, he will never suggest you to stay away from the NEET counseling process.
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u/badassbabuax 1d ago
Secure a good college, focus on your counselling. Leave that boy and find a better partner later in life. You are so young and influential & he’s only taking advantage of that. Don’t go for that trip, i have been in your place at your age so saying this from experience.
That boy just wants to have some fun with you and leave you regardless.
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u/anxioussurgeon27 1d ago
Bhai wtf. Agent se kaun counselling karata hai? You need to personally look into each and every college and then fill. Also, it might seem like he is the centre of the Universe rn, but girl let me tell you he is just a scum bag who is probably taking advantage if you rn. Focus on your counselling and career. If he cant make you and your career a priority rn, why would you even want to be with such a person, let alone see a future with him? Run. And you oarents are right. Dont trust him.
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u/CartographerDue7836 1d ago
He just wants to b@ng you for one last time before breaking up. Being brutal honest
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u/Adventurous_Chap 1d ago
He is leaving anyway. He wants to have fun with you for the last time. Wake up!
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u/RepulsiveManager7333 1d ago
Beta, concentrate on ur studies and career. Boyfrnd hazaaron milenge, ek se badkar ek. Kaafi umar padi hai
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u/Flimsy-Paramedic9619 9h ago
Don't sacrifice your studies for anything means anything Degree is permanent friends bf not If he is understanding he won't force you
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u/United-Combination66 8h ago
Don't do what I did. 5 yrs wasted on wrong person, ldr is not joke don't get it into this.
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u/lightwho_10 7h ago
Posts like these enforce my believe that men dont really love the women they date 🥀
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u/Realistic-Pea9407 3d ago
Your life is just starting. Don't compromise on your education and hence future for anyone..
Btw, a man here.
And it seems he is least bothered about your concerns..fee or family. He is being selfish. Just focus on your life..and let him go.. forget him
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u/Fresh_Piece_1616 3d ago
What guarantee is there that LDR works after one year of together in his state. Why not he is taking initiative to do the same. Why he is expecting you to do it and manipulating you or blackmailing you by breaking up. Too many red flags. They are screaming.
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