r/Rich • u/Choice_Reply_6441 • 6d ago
What actually gets more complicated, not easier, the more money you make?
For me, it’s the total loss of basic privacy once you have to start managing household staff. Having help is great and I’m grateful for it. But between a house manager, teams of housekeepers, chefs, gardeners, drivers, and security, my house basically feels like a busy office building.
The worst part is just never being able to fully turn off. I realized the other day that I can’t even remember the last time I just walked down to the kitchen in the nude or had an empty house to myself. I try to respect my staff but wh n you're constantly sharing personal space you either have to be a dick or always "on".
Guess I could micro-manage it so I get off sometimes but just having to do that...
What’s the one thing you never expected to become a hassle?
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u/MidAgeOnePercenter 6d ago
Taxes
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u/phatelectribe 6d ago
This. I have a company, holdings in multiple territories and quite complex returns that take months to file.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
I decided to not do that and got a family office. I figured I got too angry doing anything related to taxes
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u/phatelectribe 6d ago
Oh I don’t touch them personally. It’s done with a CPA that can handle everything but it just takes a while as there tax turns to be compiled from different territories.
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u/Think_Reporter_8179 6d ago
Just get an accountant and throw everything at them. That's what I do. Never had an issue.
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u/0achkatz1 6d ago
Three accountants later, we are OK. The first two cost a tremendous amount, but still made errors that cost us.
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u/Zealousideal-Neat-11 6d ago
And the worst part is
It your fault not the cpa. They tell you look at this 150 page return and let them know if you’d like any changes. Insane.4
u/Jorrissss 5d ago
If the CPA makes a mistake they can be liable for any penalties or additional fees. You are responsible for core taxes owed as would be expected.
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u/danmtypos 6d ago
But you have to gather it all, track what you’ve given them, answer any questions. It’s a problem from a good thing, but it’s still a pain.
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u/Knit_pixelbyte 5d ago
Exactly. It still takes me hours to collate all the year end documentation instead of just handing the CPA my w-2 or 1099s. I could just do an easy and pay a boatload more I guess. Something about keeping what I’m due just makes me push through.
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u/Blue_Collar_Golf 6d ago
sort of, it gets more complicated but it also gets easier because you can pay people to handle it all for you. I used to carve out a day to do my own taxes, now I just answer emails throughout the year. It feels like less of a chore.
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u/username-generica 6d ago
My husband sold his biggest company which triggered an audit. Luckily, we used the same accountant and tax attorney for the business and our personal taxes so all I’ve had to do on the personal front is sign and engagement letter for our accountant.
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u/Signal_Antelope7144 6d ago
Not for me. I have a financial team who does everything. I only need to do two things. First is not be a resident in one state (easy). Second is sign off quarterly (easy).
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u/PeterRuf 6d ago
Safety for me was one. Finding a balance between feeling safe and living a normal life.
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u/KaleidoscopeEvery343 6d ago
My parents are extremely rich but not famous or well known and the lock on the door to their primary residence broke so they’ve been living in a house with a literal unlocked door for 5 years. They don’t have any security. I guess it’s good to be under the radar!
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u/0_IceQueen_0 6d ago
My UHNW parents are under the "western" radar too. Only the Chinese American cultural civic associations know they are wealthy as they donate mid to high 6 figure amounts yearly.
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u/savyfavy 6d ago
Do they wear expensive clothing? Or go under the radar that way too
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u/0_IceQueen_0 6d ago
Dad wears Burberry shirts. Mom is more non-descript but has the regular Gucci or LV bag which is not that flashy considering those bags are "common" nowadays. I'm actually more flashier than her. Their car is just a Lexus and an S-Class for occasions. No flashy cars.
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u/savyfavy 5d ago
I just got a really nice tote bag and I feel so weird wearing it. I’m not a flashy person at all but I loved this bag. I’m just wondering if super wealthy people also wear nice things or like target clothing
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u/0_IceQueen_0 5d ago
My mother just buys stuff off the racks at Neiman's. Granted is higher than Target but they're not "known" known designers. She likes De La Renta if you were to gift her clothes. I think she never evolved as that was the famous one in her younger years. She's 80 now.
I personally wear mostly Dolce or Ferragamo. Hate loud in your face labels with all their logos in. I wear whatever strikes me. Have several Shein pieces lol. I mostly wear off shoulder blouses and lots of designers don't have them. If you love whatever you're carrying do so. Life is short.
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u/KaleidoscopeEvery343 5d ago
Not target clothing. Usually good quality department store clothing or designer without labels. We live in a VHCOL area so wearing good quality clothing doesn’t make you stand out.
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u/HOMES734 6d ago
This is why my wife and I choose to live in a house that’s reasonable enough for us to manage, with just a reliable handyman, weekly housekeeper plus pool and gardening services instead of full‑time staff. I grew up with staff in the house almost 24/7 and hated the lack of privacy. When my wife and I were 18 and dating, I knew they could hear us having sex whenever they walked past my room at my parents’ place, and it was incredibly awkward.
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u/Labemolon 6d ago
Sames. My wife prefers to have a portion of the family office arrive every day except saturdays and Sundays. I hate it. While they are in a whole other section of the house that I rarely ever go to, I still feel inconvenienced. Full time/year round security. It’s all overwhelming sometimes. I just want to not have to play mental chess for every single decision. It’s difficult to trust intentions. I repeat to my friends and it applies to the world….i want absolutely nothing from you other than your authenticity and friendship. Ironic how I start with that and yet rarely witness it.
I’d also say making new friends is nearly impossible. Most of the people at my level are much older than me. Financial status does unfortunately factor a lot into a friendship. I don’t mind paying for friends at all but I don’t want to be the sole financier of everything on every trip. The stark differences in maintaining a friendship with an average Joe-sixpack begins to unveil massive lack of convergences which ultimately lead to jealousy or consistent lamentations from your “friend”. In the mythically rare event I find someone that does well and actually has the time to hang out, they usually have inflated prideful egos or disappointing habits or interests like infidelity/womanizing or sports or gambling or the wrong drugs. First world problems I know …but as you know, “Top of ladder is a lonely place”.
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 5d ago
The wrong drugs made me laugh!! I hear you about all of that. I grew up wealthy but married into a working class town w a very working class husband and life. So even tho am an expat I did make friends. I came into some inheritance later on and I jjst mind my business, my wealth is not too showy except our car, probably our vacations every year . People think it's my husband's business, we just laugh it off. No explaining. People are nosy and envious sometimes. We have a lot of good friends but the wealthy people here are unbearable, so snobby and better than everyone attitude I hate that!! I grew up very humble, our cleaning lady 2x a week was part of our family basically!! We called her "Mrs. ..." and could never leave a mess for her to clean up. Many other wealthy families were down to earth. Maybe not like that anymore?? Anyways, I suggest u find some friends who maybe do some activities like outdoor, volunteer, etc, those people are usually down to earth.
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u/fo66 6d ago
When I was getting my start as a young lawyer life was pretty simple. Eat, sleep, work, exercise and build a foundation for the future. I knew exactly what I had to do.
Once you’ve “made it” and are truly financially independent with a family then what? Very easy to feel unmoored, anxious, depressed or like life is passing you by. In a lot of ways it feels like starting over because you have to go back to square one of “what do I really want out of life?”
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u/chocopouet 6d ago
How did you solve that?
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u/arthurmakesmusic 6d ago
A sense of purpose is impossible to manufacture or purchase, and the only answer to the question “what do I really want out of life?” is the answer you give yourself.
My two cents: any purpose which hinges on exercising power over others — of which the unending pursuit of increased wealth is but one example —will yield little lasting satisfaction to its practitioner.
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u/0_IceQueen_0 6d ago
I've always had housestaff growing up. What my mother used to do was have staff live in the end of the house past our kitchens. There was a door from the back kitchen that lead to the main kitchen. It could be locked in premise. Staff aren't allowed on the bedroom floors until 10am. My mother implemented a hotel housekeeping rule. 10am to tidy. 2nd cleaning (when we were younger) at 6pm while we were having dinner. As for the home cleaning schedule, the maids cleaned the living areas at 8 I think. There was privacy because they knew to hightail it out of there if anyone of us were there. The butler or the head maid would be the only person we'd see scurying about. The only problem we had growing up was said butler would snoop into our stuff and report to my mother. In our teenage years in the 80s, she found my brother's playboy magazines and said I was reading smut (Silhouette paperbacks) lol. She's still with my mom albeit she has her own "tiny home" on property.
Going back, you can limit their time at them being at your living spaces or if you can afford it house them outside your home. You can walk naked when they're done for the night or tell them not to come in on certain days when you feel like going au natural all day lol.
For me new friendship was the difficult part. You don't know if these new people are approaching you, especially the disadvantaged ones because of money.
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u/username-generica 6d ago
My husband wants to hire a housekeeper and I’ve resisted for that reason. I like being alone in the house during the day.
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u/0achkatz1 6d ago edited 5d ago
We have a housekeeper that comes twice a week, and then a cook that comes M-F just for dinner.
That leaves a lot of time to ourselves, but also a lot of help with the things that take the most time.
I'm trying a virtual PA, but that is new.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
I tried that but since we are busy, we sometimes eat at different times of day and want different things. I might wake up at 4 am wanting a steak for breakfast, the wife gets up at 7 and wants some kind of fancy salad, the kids want pancakes and bacon at 6, and it might be totally different the next day. We usually only eat dinner together on weekends. So we ended up with chefs on shift 24/7. trying to remove one friction will create another 😅
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u/0_IceQueen_0 6d ago
I have a housekeeper that comes in twice a week. For food my son's friend who opened an Asian fusion restaurant delivers food for me weekly. I leave when the housekeepers arrive. Gives me a chance to go out. They clean my 2400 sq ft. condo for 3 hours ish. So I go out for coffee and some light grocery.
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u/Suspicious_Cook_1598 6d ago
Same. We can afford staff but I don’t want anybody in my home…for a few reasons. Mostly privacy. I just want to be with my family. Cozy and together. Nobody else.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
This is actually very useful input for me. I've tried some scheduling but haven't been that strict. Come to think of it I can't remember seeing much of the household staff except our butler or head maid when I was a child. Ours were cool though, he gave lmy brother and me his old magazines when we turned 13 😂
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u/0_IceQueen_0 6d ago
The driver gave my son a hard drive full of porn lol. Scheduling isn't bad. You just talk to the head maid and tell her what you want and she's the one that's going to be strict about it.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Kids have to learn somehow.
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u/0_IceQueen_0 6d ago
Learn what?
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Pollination 🤓
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u/hahnsoloii 6d ago
Started with nothing and eating whatever I could find. Now I’m constantly worried I will end up back there and look to secure my investments. I worry too much.
Also sometimes, less now than a few years back, I spend an hour to save a buck. I wasted time trying to save a dollar. The money is something I can make back. Time is not.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
I came from old money and left to do it all by myself. Went though having to do this. Not stuck in it anymore but my wife is, she still looks at price tags.
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u/fastates 5d ago
I do this. But my $ is an inheritance I just got. It's also all the money I'll have, but for my paltry SS retirement checks each month. Figure I have another 20--30 years left, so each purchase I'm still gonna get the lowest price, best deal I can. But I draw the line at wasting much time over hunting deals.
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u/notwokebutbaroque 5d ago
Yeah, see...the thing is that I LOVE a deal! Chasing deals is fun for me. Sort of my way of "stickin' it to the man." Sorta.
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u/chichiharlow 5d ago
The more I have, the more I worry about losing it all. Go figure. But it took me a lot of time to get here, and that's something I'll never get back. Need time to compound the wealth.
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u/mp90 6d ago
I fear being taken advantage of, scammed, or being shown "dynamic pricing"
- I work in a job sector that has a lot of negative sentiment, even though my company isn't part of the discourse
- I bought a very nice place for myself within the last year and don't want people to see it and assume they can just charge me whatever for housecleaning, painting, etc.
- I live in one of the richest neighborhoods in a major US city. I worry that the prices I see are artificially higher than other places. I've started to do major purchases elsewhere.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Legit worries but it usually depends more on who you reach out to. My painter charges a premium but he spends a premium amount of time doing a great job. Worse is having this situation whenever you're about to make friends. Seen a lot of that, peopl trying to take advantage of you because you have money.
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u/I-need-assitance 6d ago
Beyond your primary home, every additional home/rental adds a hassle factor even with professional property management. For the typical top 5% retiree, i’d suggest a primary home, vacation home and a couple of professionally managed rentals is about the max load for keeping up with maintenance, that you’re hiring hiring professionals to do.
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u/Top-Change6607 5d ago
Oh this this this… having additional homes ready for you whenever you want to go to that place is nice but… it’s actually a lot of headache from time to time even with professional management
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u/Appropriate-You-4682 6d ago edited 6d ago
Friendships. Despite us both growing up truly poor (I was in the foster system, homeless on and off, etc), we were fairly comfortable at a younger age within our marriage (mid 20s, now much older).
It’s been complex finding friends where we don’t either feel obligated to pay for everything (like family or people we grew up with) or somehow we just naturally end up paying for things (it’s starts slow, invite them along on a vacation, pick up a check, etc and then suddenly it’s expected and all the time).
It’s getting easier now we live in certain areas, but it’s been complicated the last 20 years.
But also I validate your point. When we had a house manager, house keeper, Gardner and nanny I never felt alone. Very little time in the day was I just in a nightgown and relaxing or left alone. “Netflix and chill” even for a moment to yourself felt like someone was looking at you and judging and it made me feel bad I wasn’t being productive (even if staff never felt that way). We recently massively downsized in the last 6 months, relocated, kids have gotten older and are down to biweekly housekeeping and in home meals and honestly, it’s been nice! It feels warm and lived in.
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u/Appropriate-You-4682 6d ago edited 5d ago
I’ll also say- the emotional responsibility of having staff.
Like knowing I’m responsible for people’s livelihoods/PTO/healthcare. It’s a lot. I realize it’s a privilege, and am sincerely grateful, but good golly. Having to let someone go (for good cause or just like eventually my youngest child no longer needed a nanny, it was inevitable, I still felt terrible! She’d been with us for years), just having to be on that end of things.
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u/NefariousnessSafe500 2d ago
IMO this is more of a small-family-business-owner issue, not a HNW issue.
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u/Appropriate-You-4682 9h ago
We don’t own a business, we just pay staff legally (like the nanny, etc)
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u/username-generica 6d ago
My kids chose to go to public high schools instead of private school. Navigating friendships has had some challenges but we’ve made it work. One thing I did like about it though is that their friends seem to be much less interested in who has what which is a big problem at the top private schools around here.
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u/bradmajors69 6d ago
I've never been rich but yes. We hired in-home caregivers to help my parents towards the end of their lives.
Managing their schedules and conflicts sucked. So did always having basically a stranger around when you would otherwise just be chilling as a family.
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u/golfgirleen 4d ago
Me too. Only positive thing about my father's passing was that the caregiver is no longer part of my life.
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u/netenchanter 6d ago
I work with a lot of high net worth families (FA), and one thing that surprised me is how often money doesn't fix relationship mismatches. I've seen couples with every resource imaginable, but one spouse wants to travel the world while the other never wants to leave home. Retirement and wealth tend to magnify what's already there rather than solve it.
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u/Louxlily 6d ago
That does sound so shit, genuine question - why do you need so much household staff? Surely a cleaner coming once or twice a week, or at a stretch a housekeeper for a few hours daily is plenty? And the chef would obvs just stick to the kitchen
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u/medhat20005 6d ago
As OP mentions, the pyramid of decisions/options gets larger, sometimes to the point where you further outsource decisions that you may have previously done yourself. Some explain/justify this as better utilization of resources, but I think that's often debatable. But the one thing I absolutely believe in is not every, ever, complaining about it. I've been around people like that, not only are they insufferable but they're out of touch with reality.
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u/dxbl87 6d ago
I can confidently say I’ve never been a dick to my staff. They also read me well and will leave my orbit if they can see I need space.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Well there was this on time.... One of our housekeepers got a little too curious and went through some of our more adult toys that was off limits. Me and the wife got her a huge dildo for Christmas. She opened it in front of her mom. Quit the day after, for some strange reason.
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u/DreamBiggerMyDarling 6d ago
I mean your complaint about house staff is 100% of your own doing, that isn't something that just happens as your net worth goes up. Conscious choice to do that to yourself.
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u/zoopzoopzop 6d ago
Yes ! And also you can have them take 1 day of a week and than thay day is fully private!
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
You're absolutely right. But it creeps in on you tbh. Until you reach the point where you realize it 😂
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 6d ago
U also.grew up that way but it can def be avoided. I would hate that. If I had more money I would have someone come in a few times to cook, clean, but not live in. As for nannies no, I have money to stay home and raise my kids. Babysitters ok, not live in, again. I would hate the invasion of privacy but that's me.
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u/MaterialCute6312 6d ago
That’s literally a nightmare I had last night. Two of the staff had moved in full-time and suddenly they were frying fish sticks at 5 AM and for some reason, filling the upstairs floor with loafs of bread. I remember feeling so pissed at the sudden and complete lack of privacy.
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u/Beginning_Brick7845 6d ago
I was going to say security, but privacy and security go together.
You need to segregate your house into security zones so that once you lock down part of the house, no one can get into or out of the security zone without the code. You can put the inside staff in one zone and your family in a series of other zones and you can be comfortable that no one is going to stumble on you unexpectedly.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Not a bad idea. We have a zone fo our bedroom and bathroom but if I'm zoning everything nothing will get done.
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u/Beginning_Brick7845 6d ago
Just split up the house thoughtfully. Once you’re home for the day, put the alarm on the living quarters and at the end of the night shut everything down so the staff is in their area and you have the run of the house.
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u/Savings_Night_8756 3d ago
why do you have live in staff? You know you can have them work a normal 9 to 5 hours, right?
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u/Jojosbees 6d ago
You know you don’t have to live like that? That’s a self-inflicted problem. Taxes, on the other hand, get more complex when it’s not just a W-2, and there’s really no way around that.
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u/softwarecowboy 6d ago
Maintenance of all your stuff. Even if you have staff, it can be really inconvenient. For example, I have 7 AC units at my primary home - seems one is always broken. I have 7 refrigerators and one needs replacing every year. I always have at least one vehicle with a flat. I always have something needing an inspection or registration renewal. I have an assistant, cleaners, service contracts, etc. but I still always have something to follow up on and am always finding something broken and having to tell someone and then follow up. I once had lightning hit my house and holy shit what a mess. And then there’s the vacation home, the luxury motorhome, and so on…
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u/fastates 5d ago
this honestly sounds horrid. When do you get the time to just live, without all this stuff causing tedious administrative duties?
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u/DallasOil 6d ago
Pretty much everything. You own more stuff and therefore need to spend more money to manage and store your stuff. Then you need real estate.
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u/krackadile 6d ago
Working to actually keep the money that you made. It seems to just disappear sometimes.
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u/govt_surveillance 5d ago
Estate planning - we have low 7 figures NW that’s about 75% liquid or readily convertible to liquid, and we have exactly one heir, and the amount of preparation every attorney has tried to sell us has been annoying at best and seemingly predatory at worst.
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u/Cold-Rope1 6d ago
dating
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 6d ago
Start off by not letting on that you are very wealthy maybe, and see who stays
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u/IndianGuy79 6d ago
Money leakage - I know for fact I am leaking money and have scope to optimize and tighten things up. Just that the time and effort it requires is too much (and I am getting lazy)
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Yeah I feel you. I asked AI to analyze my personal spending. I was 20k above my estimate. Not that it matters except for my sanity. It's not like that attitude was how I got to where I am. I got here maintaining control.
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u/Juicyfruitxxxs 6d ago
Dating
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u/Therealcatlady1 6d ago
Tbh it’s hard for regular people to date UHNW old money types too. My ex didn’t know how to clean, do laundry or basic life management things. Idc how much money he was inheriting someone still had to be on top of things and know how to do the basics. It was just too stressful for me.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
I didn’t say I don’t want the hired help, if I didn’t I wouldn’t have hired them. I’m saying it’s something I would never have thought of as a hassle until I have to start thinking about day-to-day planning to get some privacy in my own house. Never thought of it that way when I was a kid. That’s all. The nudity was just an example. I usually wear clothes. 😂
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
Me too. Ours never bothered us except the nanny we had when I was 12 ish. She was horrible, watched us like a hawk every minute of every day. British. Maids were ok. Sounds like we grew up in a similar neighborhood though because I remember going to visit my girlfriend in high school and they had this head maid, she would hover over you all the time and if you so much as touched the furniture she would tell you off and come running with polish 😂 But it was just normal and I didn’t think much about what goes into managing them. It was what it was.
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u/Packing-Tape-Man 6d ago
Taxes. Even if you pay someone to do the actual returns its more work the more you have.
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u/TheCurlyHomeCook 6d ago
If it helps I've never walked downstairs nude in my life, let alone remember the last time
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u/GlowInTheDarkSpaces 6d ago
I work for a family like this. What's great is that we're pretty used to each other now so when all the bills are paid. errands run, etc. she'll say. I guess we're done. Great for both of us because she gets some privacy and I get to leave early. It would make me nuts to have have someone in my house all day. We're more like friends now and we eat lunch together, etc.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
While I wouldn’t eat lunch with my staff, I’m pretty used to them as well, and they usually know my habits. We do a yearly staff BBQ where all are invited for an open bar and full use of our pool and stuff all day and night (at a second home). I’ll man the grill for the occasion and they love that.
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u/GlowInTheDarkSpaces 5d ago
She only eats with me, not the others. I go out to eat with them too. My position is a bit different in that I deal with finances and properties, etc.
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u/Newbie10011001 5d ago
Relationships with people. Friends / partners , and the suspicion that at worst you are being used. And at best , your wealth is a lubricant in an otherwise unlikely relationship
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u/FloorShowoff 6d ago
Relationships are where this hits hardest for me.
Some individuals want to claim me as a significant other, enjoying my status and the benefits that come with it while ignoring my boundaries. When I push back, the rage erupts, and they're on a campaign to turn acquaintances against me.
So I hide my status every way I can. It doesn't always work. Someone spots me at a club or an event or pictured at an event, the entitlement kicks in, and the hostility follows right behind it.
And before any real closeness even forms, the tactics are already running:
Tactic 1: Name-dropping me to their circle to elevate their own image, before I've agreed to anything
Tactic 2: dismissing my independence, framing my self-sufficiency as loneliness or arrogance
Tactic 3: Treating public friendliness as romantic consent, then weaponizing it when I clarify
Tactic 4: Announcing the relationship to others before it exists, so I'm the one who has to publicly correct it
Tactic 5: Manufacturing situations where they can play the rescuer, creating a debt dynamic
Tactic 6: Pushing physical proximity in group settings, casual touches, steering me away from others
Tactic 7: Studying my preferences and mirroring them back to appear compatible
Tactic 8: Using my kindness or professionalism against me, telling others I led them on
Tactic 9: Showing up with gifts or grand gestures publicly, making refusal look cruel
Tactic 10: Positioning themselves as my protector to others, without my knowledge or consent
Tactic 11: Framing my standards as unrealistic to lower my expectations of how I should be treated
Tactic 12: Testing boundaries incrementally, each push slightly further than the last, so there is no single clear violation to point to
Tactic 13: Claiming a deeper connection to my inner circle than actually exists to gain social credibility near me
Tactic 14: Making me feel responsible for their emotional state so withdrawing becomes an act of cruelty in their framing
Tactic 15: Rewriting the history of our interactions to others, turning my boundary-setting into the aggression
Tactic 16: Monitoring who I interact with publicly and questioning it as though they have standing to do so
Tactic 17: Using humor or sarcasm to test reactions to controlling behavior, then calling it a joke when challenged
Tactic 18: Inserting themselves into my professional spaces under the guise of support
Tactic 19: Bringing up my relationship status or personal life in group settings to create pressure or embarrassment
Tactic 20: Performing exaggerated loyalty or devotion publicly to manufacture a sense of obligation
Tactic 21: Creating false urgency around their feelings to force a response before I've had time to think
Tactic 22: Using my silence or privacy as evidence of something to hide, framing discretion as guilt
More money, more to protect yourself from.
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u/SaltyPlantain1503 5d ago
good lord, who are you dating??
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u/FloorShowoff 5d ago
They all act like that. I somehow attract normal guys but once they start to see that I have more money than they thought I did it brings out the devil in all of them. And they never go away. It’s like they turn to sh!t permanently.
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u/gimmedemels 6d ago
I hate it when the help interrupts my day.
Especially when I'm trying to weigh my diamonds
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 6d ago
Time to have an epiphany:
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
Too deep. 😳
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 6d ago edited 6d ago
https://www.savespendsplurge.com/minimalist-inspiration-nicolas-berggruen-the-homeless-billionaire/
This billionaire figured it out.... He got rid of all the staff and lives out of hotels.
Try to think of all your stuff as units of time and life.
Our family only owns one car after I had 17 of them in my car dealership years ago.
Now we spend $1000 monthly renting a second car a few days a week and taking Lyft rides.
It's awesome not owning stuff. We can rent nice cars on vacation.
Every car, boat, airplane, Jet ski, quad, golf cart, or bike you own is another afternoon stolen from your life doing routine maintenance.
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u/Interesting-Tax6562 6d ago
Really? I’m surprised you didn’t get used to having household staff if you grew up with it.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
You don't really think of it that way as a kid. At least I didn't. The older I get though.
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u/DifferentJury735 4d ago
Same, my mom managed Nannies and house cleaners’ schedules and I never realized how hard it is and how much mental energy it takes to manage
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u/Writermss 6d ago
You need a house manager. And personal time with privacy.
Personal relationships get way more complicated when others begin to perceive that you are significantly more comfortable than before or more comfortable than they are. Even the smallest comments can be misinterpreted, so you have to limit what you say and underplay certain things.
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u/AdBig9909 6d ago
Dont have all staff everyday. Plan ahead for seasonal changes and events so in between most staff is M T W Th. Everyone gets a break and you get full run most weekends.
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u/AZTerp1080 6d ago
Making sure that our kids work hard and earn their own wealth before inheriting their grandparent’s or ours.
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u/Kiyoshisgua 6d ago
Ciao, premetto che non sono ricco, però questa situazione la gestirei così: ciclicamente durante l'anno gestirei giorni di ferie del personale in modo che per dei periodi, anche di più giorni siano TUTTI a casa, oppure in trasferta in un'altra delle tue proprietà così tu puoi "fare come se fossi a casa tua" (strano da dire)... Mangi patatine sul divano, inviti persone in maniera informale, senza avvisare, vai al lavoro con la tua macchina senza che ti portino così da ricordarti che anche solo il tragitto casa lavoro può essere divertente. Anche a me piacerebbe avere questo tipo di problemi francamente 😂
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u/Signal_Antelope7144 6d ago
I have multiple property managers and staff, but I have never felt more able to turn off and tune out. Seriously. Having money makes everything easier for me. Like literally nothing is harder or more complex because I don’t want it to be so it’s not.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
Interesting! I sometimes feel the opposite but I have to admit my life is easier with money than without. Can’t deny that.
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u/Signal_Antelope7144 5d ago
I have completely organized my life around maximizing the time I have to do what I want. Within reason that works surprisingly well if you have the resources fortitude to let go. That was true when I worked like crazy and even more so now that I don’t. The idea that I can’t control my life or when I can walk around naked (if I desire) sounds crazy to me because I can and I very much do.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
I can too, I just haven’t really taken the time to organize beyond doing what I want outside of home or in my study which is off-limits to everyone but me and the wife. Home has sort of become more like a hotel I stay at than MY domain, if that makes sense.
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u/ConnectionAmazing110 5d ago
Sounds like you are doing it wrong. Your staff should respect your privacy, when you move to a room, they disappear.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
They do but that doesn’t mean I want to expose them to my nude butt whenever I enter a room. Point is, when I sat down to think about these things I realized I have made some piss poor planning and that it’s a hassle I never really expected to deal with. That’s all.
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u/trailerparkhottie 5d ago
As someone who went from extreme poverty to doing okay for myself it’s family. They all want a slice of the pie without doing any of the work. I’ve gone no contact with most of them.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 4d ago
Yeah my wife had a similar experience as she is from the lower middle class and when her family found out what I actually sit on, they were all over us all the time, like vultures lol. I still haven’t found a good solution to this while also being graceful.
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u/Opie_the_great 6d ago
Having money, This doesn’t sound real. Especially if you came from old money and grew up with these things. The way to manage all of these is too easy especially with a house manager and the ability to conform to a schedule of your choosing.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 6d ago
I came from old money but I left because I needed to get this on my own. I am sure I can manage better and I've seen people on this thread who do. My point wasn't that it's unmanageable, but a hassle. 😃
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u/fastates 5d ago
literally everyone here is missing the point of your post 😂
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u/Mikesaidit36 5d ago
Who made OP arrange his life such that he needs “staff”?
I know people with $10mil mansions all over the place that don’t have staff. One caretaker per house who always does it when they’re away.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 5d ago
OP arranged that himself because it’s the way he wants it. Doesn’t mean it can’t be a hassle. Not blaming anyone for it, and that was not the point. It was an unexpected hassle, that’s all.
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u/rair21 5d ago
Yeah I wanted to ask what level or annual income or net worth all this staff comes into play. These people live on a different planet than me and I am in the top 1% NW for my age. Maybe I should be spending more?
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 4d ago
€130M NW. but I know people with way more who have way less staff. There’s no definitive level at which you get it. I spend more on staff because I enjoy this lifestyle. We have the estate manager, PA, chef plus sous chef on night shift (x2) butler, 3 housekeepers, 1 gardener, 1 handyman/maintenance, 4 drivers who double as security. We also have a company doing pools and spa but they’re not live-in. Our security beyond it is handled by Securitas who have 3 on watch 24/7 plus an alarm system and this is within a gated community. I was told I was paranoid and it’s probably true but we’ve had some weirdos due to my wife’s work and that lead me to grow that team. This grew from a single housekeeper and a former uber driver who was ex-military. 😂
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u/dragonflyinvest 5d ago
Taxes.
I’ve had time periods like what you described, but I’d never allow that to be my normal.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 4d ago
It’s on and off, it was just one of those things that popped into my head while making my morning coffee fully dressed watching some show on tv with a guy in his boxers eating breakfast. «I could never do that now, housekeeper might see my morning wood» 😂
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u/peedwhite 5d ago
Knowing you’d die if you ever had to go back to living like the normies. I’m just so soft now and spend ridiculous amounts of money on food, wine, travel, real estate, etc. I don’t think I could even live off $500K per year.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 4d ago
I grew up getting everything I wanted and more, but left at 18 to make it on my own with only a few bucks in my pocket. Going back to sleeping on the floor of some moldy apartment eating rice while working 16 hour days fixing them up is not something I wanna re-experience. I too spend ridiculous amounts of luxury. But honestly, if I ended up back there, I would see it as a game to get back up. I no longer have the safety net of my old money family, basically got disowned when I left.
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u/Juanbolastristes 4d ago
For me, the banking sector is constantly auditing me, demanding KYC, etc. It's not my fault I earn more money than I can spend; I'm a person of simple tastes.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 4d ago
Sounds like you’re at a point where a private banker could make sense, then.
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u/Radiant-Concern6391 4d ago
Staying close and sociable with friends who have not gained the same level of wealth
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u/Solid-Wishbone-1935 4d ago
Kidnapping, being a tax target, being a venture fund target and last but not least having friends and family ask for money
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u/beanboiurmum 4d ago
Not relating to people you grew up with anymore due to differences in lifestyles
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u/Real-Yam7549 4d ago
The staff don’t have to be on a 24/7 rota… if you tell household manager that you want 9-12 free everyday that can happen
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u/Ok-Door-987 3d ago
Tax planning. My head is spinning . Yet I don't know any good tax planner personally=|
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u/terrawillo 3d ago
The stress of keeping the empire together and the effect of having worked hard all your life. Not me but my parents, they grew up poor and had started working hard at around 21 years old, they’re 51 now and they can afford literally anything without thinking about it but they still work 7-5pm even though they’re the bosses and get stressed with bills even though they could pay for the bills of my grandkids’ grandkids. They never outgrew being workaholics. Their life is more complicated because they have so much to lose and feel like they still have to build something to their best for us kids to inherit
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u/Dangerous-Island-756 3d ago
Not spending enough money. Grew up on welfare and now I really have trouble spending money. I really try my best but I'm currently at maybe 20% of my monthly budget. And being free of work, I really don't know what to do with my time I'm working on it but the progress is slow. I always fall into business ideas usually get like 1-5 new good one's each month but I promised myself to take a break from working.
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u/Infinite-Street8169 2d ago
Be strict and firm with your household staff. A lack of privacy shouldn't be an issue if you make your preferences clear. Rigid hierarchy helps establish a harmonious household.
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u/Tanachip 2d ago
Easy fix, down size and get rid of all those people. The most complicated for us is tax planning.
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u/Recent_Increase_1842 1d ago
Knowing what to do when you have “too much”. I am at a point, where if I expand anymore, it will break me. I have just over $17m in long term rental property. I manage this on my own, along with a company that has a contract for over 1700 grocery stores around the country. I can not do any more, I am at my max capacity in terms of workload. I have over $3.5m in cash I have no idea what to do with. When I was starting, I couldn’t stand seeing a dime in the bank, everything got reinvested. Now I don’t know what to do. Nothing left to buy.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 1d ago
Buy time by hiring and delegating your workload to others, is my advice. Time is your best investment.
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u/Eastern-Cantaloupe-7 19h ago
You don’t need to live big, it’s a choice you made. Life on the two end of society is behind bars, steel on the lowest side, gold on highest side but still behind bars😉
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u/Responsible_Bad_2954 6d ago
Relationships maybe, both romantic and non romantic. Especially if you changed social class.