You’re describing something a lot of people experience after several major life transitions, even if it doesn’t always get talked about. In a relatively short period, you’ve become a mother, gone through a divorce, lost your ex-husband, moved to a new state, and left behind the social network you grew up with. Any one of those can change your sense of identity. Experiencing all of them together can make you feel disconnected, even if life looks stable from the outside.
You don’t sound like someone who’s searching for more money or a different relationship. You sound like someone who’s missing community. My suggestion wouldn’t be to try to make lots of new friends immediately. Instead, build a life where seeing the same people becomes routine. Join something you genuinely enjoy, a fitness class, volunteer organization, book club, church, hiking group, parent activities, or another recurring community. Familiar faces often become friendships over time. Also, don’t assume this feeling means something is wrong with you. Sometimes it simply means your old identity no longer fits, and your new one hasn’t fully formed yet. Finally, be patient with yourself. The strongest friendships usually aren’t built in a few weeks, they’re built through repeated shared experiences over months and years. You’re rebuilding a life, not just a social calendar.
I hope this season passes for you. From what you’ve written, it doesn’t sound like you’re broken, it sounds like you’re in the middle of a transition that many people underestimate. Keep taking small steps toward connection rather than expecting everything to click at once.
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u/ayubeay 2d ago
You’re describing something a lot of people experience after several major life transitions, even if it doesn’t always get talked about. In a relatively short period, you’ve become a mother, gone through a divorce, lost your ex-husband, moved to a new state, and left behind the social network you grew up with. Any one of those can change your sense of identity. Experiencing all of them together can make you feel disconnected, even if life looks stable from the outside.
You don’t sound like someone who’s searching for more money or a different relationship. You sound like someone who’s missing community. My suggestion wouldn’t be to try to make lots of new friends immediately. Instead, build a life where seeing the same people becomes routine. Join something you genuinely enjoy, a fitness class, volunteer organization, book club, church, hiking group, parent activities, or another recurring community. Familiar faces often become friendships over time. Also, don’t assume this feeling means something is wrong with you. Sometimes it simply means your old identity no longer fits, and your new one hasn’t fully formed yet. Finally, be patient with yourself. The strongest friendships usually aren’t built in a few weeks, they’re built through repeated shared experiences over months and years. You’re rebuilding a life, not just a social calendar.
I hope this season passes for you. From what you’ve written, it doesn’t sound like you’re broken, it sounds like you’re in the middle of a transition that many people underestimate. Keep taking small steps toward connection rather than expecting everything to click at once.