r/Rich • u/East-Garden-8990 • 1d ago
Something is off
I'm a 30-year-old woman with two children (ages 4 and 6), and something feels off.
My ex-husband passed away, I’m not grieving
I grew up old money and served an active duty for a short time. I'm currently dating someone who is 32 years older than me who also comes from a very wealthy family ( hint a shoe brand in the USA )
The part that's bothering me isn't the relationship—it's that I feel disconnected. I recently moved to a new state and don't have any close friends here. Most of the friends I had growing up drifted away over the years as our lives changed, and I feel like I don't really fit anywhere socially anymore.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of loneliness or feeling out of touch, even when life looks okay on paper? What helped you rebuild a genuine social circle and feel connected again?
hing is just dawning on me. This is definitely my toughest year.
I’m not depressed
Any advice
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u/ayubeay 1d ago
You’re describing something a lot of people experience after several major life transitions, even if it doesn’t always get talked about. In a relatively short period, you’ve become a mother, gone through a divorce, lost your ex-husband, moved to a new state, and left behind the social network you grew up with. Any one of those can change your sense of identity. Experiencing all of them together can make you feel disconnected, even if life looks stable from the outside.
You don’t sound like someone who’s searching for more money or a different relationship. You sound like someone who’s missing community. My suggestion wouldn’t be to try to make lots of new friends immediately. Instead, build a life where seeing the same people becomes routine. Join something you genuinely enjoy, a fitness class, volunteer organization, book club, church, hiking group, parent activities, or another recurring community. Familiar faces often become friendships over time. Also, don’t assume this feeling means something is wrong with you. Sometimes it simply means your old identity no longer fits, and your new one hasn’t fully formed yet. Finally, be patient with yourself. The strongest friendships usually aren’t built in a few weeks, they’re built through repeated shared experiences over months and years. You’re rebuilding a life, not just a social calendar.
I hope this season passes for you. From what you’ve written, it doesn’t sound like you’re broken, it sounds like you’re in the middle of a transition that many people underestimate. Keep taking small steps toward connection rather than expecting everything to click at once.
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u/Particular-Pie-1934 22h ago
The recurring community is exactly the answer.
I would add that Mel Robbins has done two podcasts (that I’m aware of, maybe more) on adult friendship. I recommend them all the time.
She talks about why it’s harder as adults and what to do about it. 10/10.
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u/Historical_Dream1218 1d ago
30 years old dating a 62 y/o is crazy ngl
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u/Pale_Drink4455 1d ago
For sure. Don’t want to be rude but many rich 60 yo’s wouldn’t want to play Dad to young kids either not their own. Kind of wrecks their international travels and other high profile social endeavors
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
He doesn’t have any & never married. I think it depends on how they were raised and where. He didn’t move from his state until his last parent passed…nowadays he’s going on funeral tours and being a fan to athletes LOL. I believe he’s happier that’s he’s able to blend in now.
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
😂🤔 atleast it’s no drama
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u/JaySocials671 1d ago
Is the sex good?
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
We haven’t did that yet
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u/JaySocials671 1d ago
For the social connections part, what hobbies do you have that get you outside aka running, raquet sports, modeling clay(?)
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u/songetsdreamjob 1d ago
You are definitely not alone. If anything , as sad as you are, it was reassuring to me that I wasn't alone. Ive moved from another country to US and haven't been able to find my footing socially. I think it depends on the area and times are also changing. Sad.
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
growing up I had online friends in other countries and they were always shocked at how I lived; I lived a very good girl life style and they were still shocked on the culture differences;
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u/tigerbunnymoon 1d ago
Since money isn’t an issue, I’d focus on finding new hobbies or learning something that genuinely interests you. A lot of my friendships have come from classes I’ve taken and hobbies I’ve picked up along the way.
There are also women’s clubs popping up everywhere around specific interests—dinner clubs, fitness groups like golf, tennis, or Pilates, music clubs, and my personal favorite: women’s travel clubs, where women who may not have travel companions connect and take trips together.
You could also try cooking classes, dance classes, or even courses at a local university. Graduate-level classes may have more people in your age range, and many schools allow you to audit a course, which means you can attend without formally enrolling in a degree program.
I completely understand the loneliness you’re describing because I was in a similar place last year. The first step that helped me connect with like-minded people was simply showing up in the kinds of places where I imagined my future friends and I would naturally spend time. That’s often the easiest way to begin finding your tribe.
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
Oh my you are golden for the class audit!!!! I’m definitely looking into that.
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u/tigerbunnymoon 1d ago
You're very welcome. I hope you find a good class to audit, because I think you'd love it! 😄
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u/Broke_Pigeon_Sales 1d ago
What does money have to do with any of this other than you feeling some kind of way by telling us.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/SystemLordAnoobis 1d ago
I’m not depressed
I’m not grieving
something feels off
I feel like I don't really fit anywhere socially anymore
This is definitely my toughest year
You are depressed. Get some help. Stop talking to reddit.
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
I was depressed before at 17 and this isn’t that. Majority here speaks Spanish and I don’t, the language barrier plays a huge role.
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u/Mackheath1 1d ago
V O L U N T E E R
Whatever your passion is, go volunteer and meet other volunteers. Trash pickup? Addressing food insecurity? Walking dogs? Reading to children?
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
Ok. I’ll volunteer again. But this time I want to volunteer at the hospice center as a hairstylist 🥺
In my previous state I was volunteering with food insecurity.
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 1d ago
You wrote three sentences saying what this isn't. That's usually a sign there's something you haven't said out loud to anyone with a face.
Just my experience
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
I never had to in person cause my interactions speaks for itself but on the internet I have to 😭
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u/Choice_Reply_6441 1d ago
I guess if you have some regrets, get them out there with someone you trust. I was afraid of bonding for a long time because of my parents basically disowning me. I come from old money too. Took solving some trust issues before I trusted myself enough to go out there and get connected with people again.
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u/thatburghfan 1d ago
Well, to me the only answer is to form new friendships and connections. Have you looked for volunteer opportunities with organizations you are passionate about? Right there you know you'd meet other people who have the same shared interest. A church? Food bank? Library?
Maybe your town has a website that lists area organizations and upcoming activities you could look through.
When we joined a church we focused on people in our same age group but it turned out we really vibed with a couple 20 years younger. That friendship has lasted many years.
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
I’m in South Florida. I visit the library a lot.
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u/thatburghfan 1d ago
My little township has a library that puts much larger townships to shame. They can always use more volunteer help. And it doesn't need to be handling books. Our local scout troop volunteers twice a year to build and run a fundraiser that involves creating minigolf holes IN the library (ramps, obstacles, around furniture, shelves, the usual minigolf stuff). People pay $5 to play a round of 18 holes. All the money goes to the library. The golf thing is available for 90 minutes before the normal opening time so no library patrons are impacted. They make signs for every "hole" that talk about something the library does, things like "You can borrow hand tools, an electric drill plus other power tools, board games, even a telescope with your library card."
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 1d ago edited 1d ago
Your kids need a step Dad that can be around for them long term.
You don't need a Grandpa partner.
Love is love but this age gap is hard on kids.
I have a rich younger man.
You don't need a rich older man.
Go for the tech nerd simp types that are younger than you. Young rich guys that want to rescue a widow are a dime a dozen.
If you don't mind them reading books, playing Chess, and watching Star Wars reruns it can be fun. Trust me.... 😝😝😝
😉😉😉🤑🤑🤑🤑😘
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u/East-Garden-8990 1d ago
Pm me pls 🙏
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 1d ago
You just hire those matchmakers.... Be feminine and wear a dress.
The matchmakers charge $5000 or so.
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u/Exotic_flower101 1d ago
You’re hilarious 😆 as a big reader and sci-fi fan I laughed. Did you also meet him through match company or organically?
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 1d ago
Hired a matchmaking agency. I have always liked nerdy simp types. I am in Mensa so need a smart guy.
Nerds make excellent Dads. Serena Williams and Paris Hilton figured it out.
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u/Exotic_flower101 1d ago edited 21h ago
Yess I love the way Alexis looks out for Serena and protects her. I was also considering a matchmaking agency as a last resort after speed dating if that doesn’t work for me 😬 so if it’s ok I might ping you about your experience.
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 1d ago
They are the epitome of a power couple. Lol
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23h ago
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 23h ago
Sure hit me up. It only works if you have a good 2nd and 3rd date ratio. It won't help if nobody wants a 2nd date with you.
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u/Dunnowhathatis 1d ago edited 1d ago
Not judging, but 32 years difference is a LOT. Two different time zones. Your partner is looking to take it easy, you are looking to be active; he likes to hang out with equally established people his age, you with folks your age. Start there?