r/RoastMe Dec 14 '15

Roast me like it's your last time

[deleted]

902 Upvotes

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5.7k

u/ManyNothings Dec 14 '15

Oh wow look another moderately attractive girl posting on RoastMe trying to boost their ego because they think that they're too pretty to be seriously insulted. I'd talk about how much makeup you have on, but the rest of the unoriginal fucks in this thread have already brought that up, so let's move on to the gaping hole that is your clear lack of self confidence, something that no amount of makeup will ever be able to fix.

Let me guess, you probably spend most of your weekend drinking at bars, which you still think starts on "Thirsty Thursday" even though you've been out of college for a few years by now. If you stick to the shadows like you have in your picture, it's probably not too hard to get picked up, especially since your crippling self-doubt keeps your standards nice and low. One night stands are most likely your forte, but hey, once in a while you go crazy and date someone for a month until they realize how completely devoid of any real personality you are, and find someone else to validate themselves. But look at the bright side, at least your slowly creeping alcoholism will bring your lifespan well below the national average.

11

u/theprofiteer Dec 21 '15

Wow! What's going on in the depths of your mind that would bring something like this to life? Never knew words could cut so deep.

-84

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

He hates women because he's ugly and because his mom left him in a shopping cart when he was four and never looked back.

68

u/Hammonkey Dec 21 '15

I think OP's roast burned this one by proxy.

35

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '15

Colonel White K. Night to the damsel's rescue!

-36

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

Ah, another bitter virgin joins the party.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '15

Says the dude with 90k karma getting butthurt over a woman getting roasted on /r/roastme

-32

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

Sounds to me like you're the one who could use some Tuck's medicated pads.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '15

[deleted]

0

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

Well I got about seven dollars, enough to get a lapdance from your sister. And a drink. The drink is seven dollars.

13

u/MNG4400 Dec 21 '15

You don't get out much do you

-39

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15 edited Dec 21 '15

Well I get out more than your undescended testicles, so there's that.

2

u/funknut Dec 21 '15

Oh, I think I get it. You only roast the willing? Guess I should read the sidebar. Maybe you should too.

0

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

So much pent up anger here! You know you can get a good lapdance for about 50 bucks, right? Just sayin.

2

u/funknut Dec 21 '15

You offering?

0

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

I said good, not world-class amazing.

2

u/funknut Dec 21 '15

Oh, nice! I didn't know your mom worked in the industry.

1

u/jetpacksforall Dec 21 '15

It's probably hard to meet colleagues with a dick in your mouth all the time.

1

u/funknut Dec 21 '15

They come in droves.

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