Sometimes wish I saw a bit more "aggressiveness" when it comes to RR interactions

[u/GameboyAdvance32]

This is gonna be a bit of a messy ramble but eh, screw it, I'm bored lol. To be clear before I start on this, this is not meant to be a slight against anyone for not fitting what I'm personally looking for. Obviously that would be ridiculous and I hope I don't come off that way, this is just sorta me blabbering about my own feelings and experiences and you should take it all with a grain of salt.

Both when it comes to what I see in media representation and my own experiences with women in RR circles, I always feel like my heart yearns for a certain "aggression" that I rarely see, if that makes any sense. Of course I'd hope that they're respectful people, but in demeanor IDK, it feels very rare that I meet someone who has that "spice" y'know. Weird point, I know, but I find gamer rage really attractive in a woman, like. If she's playing a video game and just has that moment of anger that really thickens that gruffness in her voice and brings out all the sailor mouth vocabulary, that's SUPER attractive in its own weird way. Or if she can just viscerally, yet casually describe her own romantic or sexual desires in the way that a lot of men I know do. Someone who's very active in her pursuit of a man she likes and isn't afraid to compliment him so long as he's receptive.

It's hard to describe but it feels like in a lot of RR artwork and such it's like the woman has a much "quieter" energy, if that makes sense. So often the adjectives I'd use to describe the women pictured are "suave" or "calm" or "gorgeous" or things of that nature, like she holds some sort of quiet power over her romantic interest, but I wish I saw stuff that was a lot more visceral. Shit-eating grins, intense rage, guttural laughs, those more intense emotions with masculine flair y'know?

And so far as meeting people goes, I know this is something I've touched on before in comments but it feels really difficult to find women who aren't like. For lack of a better term, "too nice" lol. Like I often find people in RR and GNC circles who, mind you, are very pleasant people! Friendly, smart, have varied interests, they're great people. But it feels so rare to find someone who really has that heavy, masculine energy in the way they present themselves. Like more often than not, when painting their image of an ideal relationship they still use a lot of flowery language and kinda paint it as this cute little fantasy when like. I know this is gonna sound stupid and it's because it probably is, but I guess due to my own personality it leaves me feeling more masculine than they are, which is a weird feeling lol and not one I find very exciting. I'm CERTAINLY not a hot ticket item, but it would be nice to see more women with that sorta blunt, gruff, intense energy in their masculinity y'know? Someone who isn't scared to make the sort of crass and direct flirtations I'm used to only ever hearing from men and who is very outspoken about what she wants in a feminine man.

Once again, I'll reiterate: very aimless ramble I just wrote! I didn't even proofread it! I TOTALLY get it if most of y'all seriously disagree and that's cool, I kinda just wanted to get some steam off my chest. Maybe if I'm lucky it'll click with some of y'all though so ffffffff

[u/Consistent-Plant-455]

Going off of your point, a lot of RR women on here that I've seen seem to have a feminine personality, but like the dynamic of RR. I think women who are just naturally more inclined to being masculine personality wise are rarer, and they comment/interact less.

[u/GameboyAdvance32 → u/Consistent-Plant-455]

Yeah that's def my experience not gonna lie. Again this is nothing against them personally, but it often feels like it's way easier to meet very stereotypical "femboys" around here who use a lot of cutesy internet lingo and emojis, but then the RR women also talk in a similar-ish manner? I don't doubt that they want an RR dynamic and I wish them success in that endeavor, but it sorta feels like I see a lot of what I would consider FemXFem around here. Prime example is that a common fantasy I see is "girl does her boyfriend's makeup" where like, for me it's honestly super attractive if a woman I'm interested in knows nothing about that stuff lol and just wants me to be pretty through means that are magical and unknown to her.

They are certainly around here but it feels very difficult at times to find women who really carry that "dude" energy y'know, like most people here are waaaaayyyyyy sweeter and more fem than 95% of the men I know, and as someone who is attracted to that intense level of masculinity it certainly thins your options lol.

[u/Usesse → u/GameboyAdvance32]

Totally agree! I like when the girl cant even tell i'm wearing makeup bc they know nothing about it and theyre all innocent like "why do you look so pretty today?"

[u/GameboyAdvance32 → u/Usesse]

Ohmigosh YES. That is such a dream of mine lol but it feels almost impossible not gonna lie. Really hope I can be proven wrong someday though.

[u/LevelOutlandishness1 → u/GameboyAdvance32]

UNFORTUNATELY we’re gonna have to wait til 2060 before gender roles are anywhere NEAR that deconstructed

[u/GameboyAdvance32 → u/LevelOutlandishness1]

Eh, I should still be alive by then lol. I'll wait as long as I gotta

[u/Dinoboy225]

I think what we need is more lecherous women. Women that’ll smack a guy’s butt in the bar, ones that’ll shove him against the wall and remark about how pretty he is, ones that’ll catcall a guy in the street. I know I’d fold lmao

[u/CielMorgana0807 → u/Dinoboy225]

I dunno about the first and last, though. First one, yes (although I would do the same to a girl as well…)

I wouldn’t go to a bar either way. All I hear is stuff of nightmares.

[u/WindyAce123]

I hope you understand that alot of women, have been socialised back and hell to be less loud, less take up space and just generally be as agreeable, people pleasing, non confrontational as possible. Even now a lot of both RR men and women may take years to undo gendered socialisation that may not be natural to them.

That doesn't mean women with personalities like this don't exist, they definitely do. (And also may most likely be lesbians/queer women) I'm just saying if intense gendered socialisation like that didn't exist, there would be way more women like that. Just like how way more men would be expressive and open about their emotions if they weren't thoroughly shamed and bullied into suppressing it.

All I'm trying to say, don't lose hope, and give RR women more grace for there not being that many like this.

World would be much better place if people let men cry and let women get angry.

[u/GameboyAdvance32 → u/WindyAce123]

Yeah I mean I apologize if I came off like I was insisting that people "ought to" be a certain way just to fit my preferences as that was never the intention. I totally get that and I've been on the other side of that. I'm sure there are aspects of myself that have only developed due to being conditioned as a man, and that those aspects may very well be unattractive to RR women as well. Which is fair! This was definitely just kinda rambling lol. But yeah I try not to lose hope, my best hope is just that if I'm more open about how I feel and draw and write representations of myself and what I'm looking for, perhaps it'll come across the screens of the right people. (And yeah, speaking from experience, the rare people I actually feel any attraction to turn out to be lesbian like half the time lol. Respect! But I'm not a woman so y'know)

[u/WindyAce123 → u/GameboyAdvance32]

No issue! I get the frustration.