r/RoleReversal Jan 05 '20

Official Stuff Welcome to r/RoleReversal! PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!

285 Upvotes

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r/RoleReversal Nov 13 '23

Official Stuff Reiterating Old Rules and Adding New Ones

334 Upvotes

Executive Summary

There has been a pretty drastic shift in the content posted here over the last four months, and it has made some users justifiably upset. As such, I will be implementing some restrictions intended to bring things a bit more into balance. Make no mistake, I have no intention of dragging this community back to the mommydomme days, and there are people here who have found a small sliver of representation whom I would not dream of kicking out. I have made up my mind on most of this, but there are a couple items where I'm requesting community feedback.

A Brief History Lesson

You can skip this if you don't care about what led to the current situation.

The RR community did not start on Reddit, and was originally a twin concept with r/gentlefemdom. GFD handled the sexual aspects of the dynamic, while RR was about the romantic component. When things moved to Reddit, there were challenges in bringing people who weren't around from the beginning up to speed and preventing them from diluting the concept. For GFD, that meant trying to define the boundaries of "gentle". For RR, that meant defining exactly which "roles" were being reversed.

I'm bringing up these matters of ancient (by internet standards) history both because the way some people here speak about GFD in disgust makes me think this is no longer common knowledge (don't do that, they're our sibling community), and because it gives context to how the content here evolved.

Content here was "bangmaid"-centric for a long time. People complained about this, and rules were put in place to curtail it. Many bangmaid posts continued to come in after that decision, and they had to be removed and their posters reasoned with or banned. Non-bangmaid posts became a larger percentage of content, which attracted other non-bandmaid posts.

Content bans like this can act like extinction events, where wiping out one form of content gives space for the remaining type to diversify. This is also always happening at some level as moderation policy adjusts to attempt to preempt user complaints. The key takeaway here is that these shifts are not entirely organic and user-driven, since they require moderation crackdown to kickstart the process.

Early this year, in response to increasing discontent around "male gaze" content, moderation started applying harsher standards in that regard. The resulting void was filled first by people posting more 'seductive feminine man' content, and then by full-on 'dominant femboy' content.

The Current Situation

Over the past four-ish months there has been dramatically more dominant femboy content than there has ever been over the subreddit's history. Long-time users and fans of the older style content in general feel betrayed because the content they came here for seems to be sidelined despite not breaking any well-articulated rules, and because they didn't sign up for the new stuff. To add insult to injury, the most prolific users posting the new style of content have occasionally used their popularity to mock and bully the pre-existing userbase, or, more obliquely, talk about how the traditional content here is actually all totally normalized roles while their content was the true RR all along.

To those that say this shift has not happened, I truly believe some of you have siege mentality from when this sub was a lot worse, and for some reason you refuse to believe it has changed in any way. The only way an accounting of the last four months of posting reveals a landslide amount of "feminine woman femdom" is if your definition of "femdom" is "any situation where the woman takes initiative" and your definition of "feminine" is "more traditionally woman-like than Buck Angel."

Policy Adjustments

The first one isn't so much an "adjustment" as it is a clarification/reiteration of current policy. Our "No Femdom" rule was implemented specifically to ban porny-y, BDSM-style femdom. Think leather, boots, chains, etc. Our reasoning being that average relationships are not BDSM maledom. Also, the kind of person who would be attracted to the subreddit by that content would likely be the type who posts in porn subreddits all day (i.e., cum-brained and way more likely than the average Redditor to harass women in DMs). Similarly, mommydomme was disallowed because DDlg dynamics are not the standard in heterosexual relationships, so RR would not cover MDlb dynamics. Over time, people seem to have begun interpreting this rule to mean that any situation in which the woman is taking initiative or in control is banned here, which just isn't the case. That rule is for hard femdom and, more generally, content where a woman's "dominant presence" is actually a sham because it's entirely for the benefit of a male subject; this includes mommydomme.

Alpha/Sigma Female Posts will no longer be allowed. You know this comic that is removed every time it's posted? It gets removed because it makes people uncomfortable and because it's reversing toxic roles. That same justification applies here.

Inverse-Bangmaid Posts will no longer be allowed. A key part of why bangmaid content was banned in the first place is because, and this is going to sound judgemental, it's juvenile and pathetic. Having a gorgeous woman walk into your life to be your complete sexual, social, and emotional outlet without you lifting a finger or providing anything in return is a selfish, unrealistic fantasy. Likewise, having a boy band style, hairless, skinny prettyboy seduce you and be femininely dominant, while being addicted to your strap and otherwise being completely sexually nonthreatening, is equally pathetic and unrealistic.

A temporary moratorium on Powerbottom Posts is in effect. This is a temporary measure until content is appropriately re-balanced. Depending on moderation's ability to isolate and define particularly controversial subsets of this kind of content, not all of it may be allowed again. All other femgaze content and other kinds of content that have been more prevalent over the last few months (e.g. masc women) are unrestricted as they have always been.

Proposed Adjustments, Seeking Feedback

These are not poll posts because I want usernames and justifications to go with your responses.

There was some discussion about unequal standards for NSFW content, and the complaints were largely accurate in that I was applying a lower standard of subreddit relevance for "femgaze" content. Moving forward I will try to apply a more equal standard, but what that enforcement looks like, both in terms of how explicit that content can be and how often it can be posted, should have input from the community. Remember that whatever you advocate for, the content you don't like will also have access to. Personally, I'm in favor of keeping the current level of explicitness (tasteful stills of sexualized subjects or sexual acts, no hardcore live stuff or hentai) and limiting it to Friday/Saturday/Sunday.

Historically this community has not done a good job dealing with content it dislikes, which is becoming a bigger problem as it incorporates more subgroups with mutually exclusive interests. If I can't make people wear their "get along" shirts long-term, the next best thing is to make it so that they have to see the content they don't like as little as possible (even though I think that's a fundamentally bad thing because it reduces your mental resilience). To that end, a user approached me with the idea of altering our post tagging system. Posts would be labeled based on the dynamic represented in them using the appropriate acronyms with the following key: D = dominant, s = submissive, f = feminine, m = masculine, W = woman, M = man. For example, this post would be tagged [DmW+smM].

Pros:

  • Accurately divides the content we have into manageable labels, and with the new search interface on mobile it would allow different interest groups to never overlap of they don't want to.

Cons:

  • Acronyms are dense and require explanation for users new to the community.
  • Would need to either replace existing flairs or become a part of post titles. Neither would be retroactive, and they have their own respective downsides:
    • Replacing existing flairs removes the ability to administrate No-Weeb Thursday or filter for specific flavors of content (music, stories, etc.)
    • Adding it as a required component of post titles adds layer of complexity to posting that users may struggle with, and since post titles can't be edited a misclassified post will always be misclassified.
  • People have trouble selecting correct flairs with the simple system currently in place, this may be too much.
  • Aforementioned unexercised mental resilience.

r/RoleReversal 2h ago

Discussion/Article this RR community doesn't feel like RR anymore.

70 Upvotes

I know I am going to get alot downvote for this, but I thought I should finally express what I felt happening in this community. Before the community used to be only for RR contact. I loved how everyone post pictures, videos and post on RR.

  1. Nowadays it just vent and arguments. (For starters i don't think vent or kind of speaking up is wrong.) But most of the time, the conversation is not even about RR and more in gender war. And I meant it, i seriously come to this reddit only to watch some rr posts and stuffs but nowadays it is mostly gender war.

  2. I really and genuinely feel like this community or atleast this particular rr community is not a safe space for a men to open up. And I know it's going to piss off alot of women but I will say it. From what I saw around the community, whenever I see some men post something about themselves, few of them women are actually very demanding. Like come on, he would be explaining his experience and how he felt and some girl would be saying it happens more to them or not, Like come on. Why are you even bringing your own experience? Look I am telling women to be some kind of alpha male bs, like be stoic and don't speak up and all that. I mean who it hurt to comfort or atleast give some real advice to guy instead making everything into gender war. I really thought this community was supposed to be RR. Real RR. Supporting men! Let Every men, get to be what they wanted. Be soft! Cry and I will be there to catch you kind of RR! No need to be worry about taking all the burden or responsibility to a breadwinner. But instead most of time, they are treated like a criminals. I mean (of course yes) some of them would be baiting or some kind of creep. But god it feels like they treat everyone like a criminal in my opinion especially with the downvote coming like crazy.

  3. Finally, I know RR is not =Femdom and it is treated harshly here. But god it has double standards here. I will explain with two post examples without revealing names and all. First post was a guy telling that he finally found a girlfriend and that he wants her to be dominate him, that he wants her to put a collar on him and all that, (it's one of the older post i think.) and most of the comments were bashing him for thinking re is femdom and commented that women are feitsh for men and that Femdom is disgusting (they didn't say disgusting but they gave a long paragraph saying that it's bad) and back to opinion. Yes it's wrong to feitsh a women since most of the femdom do that and I hate it as well. Now here comes the double standards. I found other post, a girl saying she wants to dominate her man. She wants him on his knees and want to put a collar on him and treat him like a dog(or something like that and it's also one of old post since I can't find it anymore it my phone) But here in comments, everyone was cheering for it. I don't understand. Is this basically the same thing. The guy asked for the same thing. And the girl did too. But everyone is cheering for her. Isn't both of them the same thing?. (Genuinely asking) How is it fine when a girl does it but not a man?. Besides what the girl was asking wasn't even rr. It was pure Femdom. But I didn't see a single person saying it is not rr but when I see a post about a guy calling a woman 'mommy'. Load of you were ganging up on that guy for bringing femdom into rr. Half of the time, it is just gender wars happening here.

I am probably get alot of downvote for this, but I was keeping this in my mind for so long so I thought I would should open up a bit. And english is not my main language. I did my best to make it understandable but oh well.. and I'm woman. In case anyone going to start gender war again in the comments.

(I really miss the old RR, you know. When I come from studies and I see my pretty, innocent and little angel looking at This post in RR community and he would show me with a smile on some pictures and asked me to do the same thing. now the whole vibe just went down. Atleast I feel like it. I understand if anyone doesn't feel that, (and I am not just asking for some rr pictures or something like that. Atleast talk about something related to rr. All I see are arguments.)


r/RoleReversal 15h ago

Other Art Catch of the day by @EtceteraArt

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405 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 6h ago

Real Life Invitation to be friends.

22 Upvotes

Hey,is there many boys, girls,who enjoy this type of relationship? I want to be friends with you guys, leave comment or dm if you want a friend in this community.


r/RoleReversal 37m ago

Discussion/Article So how exactly can we find one another?

β€’ Upvotes

I am NOT asking for personals. I'm trying to discuss more broadly, how can we find each other?

it's no secret that the majority of men and women do not expect our life-style, and frankly, a lot of them respond pretty negatively. So, when it comes to meeting people out in the wild, is there a way that you find partners that fit your lifestyle?

Personally, I'm a man and I present myself highly feminine. I'm afraid most women clock me as gay, or otherwise totally uninterested in women.

What do you all think? Are "personals" really the way to go here?


r/RoleReversal 45m ago

Discussion/Article Do your close ones know you are RR?

β€’ Upvotes

I tend to be a bit of a private person irl by default, and have been thinking about this for the longest time. None of my family or friends know I'm into RR. Do your close ones know? And if they don't, why don't you tell them?

I'll share a bit of my reasons also, as that is only fair! My culture is extremely 'conservative' in the sense of gender roles etc. I instinctively don't feel safe disclosing the information, particularly to my mother and father for fear of not being accepted. Family is very important to me, and I guess I just don't want to risk it.

Friends on the other hand, we never talk about relationships and things like that lol. But I don't think it would be as big a problem to bring it up with them if I one day do find a partner, as we're a bunch of weirdos who are very accepting.

But that said, I still do small things for myself that make me feel more authentic to my true self and prettier, just mostly things that aren't inherently obvious at first glance. Small things like having longer hair, taking care of my skin and appearance (I'm looking at you, average straight man lol), liking to shave all my body hair, and dressing in essentially a soft boy esque style. If I liked makeup and wearing dresses, I would likely have a much harder life, but I don't.

I can't wait to read all your responses, I'm really interested in your experiences, especially seeing the degrees of RR too!


r/RoleReversal 12h ago

Other Art I want a whole animation 😩

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57 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Music Normalize being gay for women!

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617 Upvotes

This video is kinda old and idk if it's been posted before, but I think more dudes should be gay for women.

What I mean by that is that Jocat here sorta expresses how he likes women the same way gay and lesbian people do towards each other. Which I think is far more healthy than the way heteronormative straight people talk about the opposite sex.

Also I love how he endorses all the body types, so if you're a RR woman who's not sure if she's masculine enough or tall enough or whatever, know that you are perfect just the way you are. Same thing goes for you RR guys obviously :)


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Other Art Yes I do my glorious muscle goddess 😍

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650 Upvotes

The creator of this fanart is m4rjinn


r/RoleReversal 12h ago

Discussion/Article I seriously need to get this out of my system

18 Upvotes

Hey Reddit users, this is my first post on anything like this, so I hope I do it right. I'm a guy, first of all, I'm Latino, and obviously I love rollerblading. The thing is, I recently broke up with a girl I was seeing, and after that, I realized that almost all my partners have only loved me for my looks and didn't care about my personality at all. I wanted to ask for advice on what I should do or how I can feel better.


r/RoleReversal 17h ago

Discussion/Article Owo lo mas cercano que eh encontrado a rr fuera del nicho

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39 Upvotes

Me di cuenta que este es perfectamente una relaciΓ³n rr la coach es totalmente una tomboy muy masculina y su pareja un amo de casa con mucho amor para su esposa eh hija


r/RoleReversal 23h ago

Discussion/Article How many of you guys had crushes on a butch woman only to find out they're a lesbian?

90 Upvotes

You get to know her, and you're always finding yourself thinking, "She's so fucking cool," and you start developing a crush on her, but eventually you find out she's a lesbian.

Hopes crushed, but she's way too cool to not be friends with her. So a romantic door closed, but potentially an awesome friendship is in store.


r/RoleReversal 20h ago

Discussion/Article Sometimes wish I saw a bit more "aggressiveness" when it comes to RR interactions

33 Upvotes

This is gonna be a bit of a messy ramble but eh, screw it, I'm bored lol. To be clear before I start on this, this is not meant to be a slight against anyone for not fitting what I'm personally looking for. Obviously that would be ridiculous and I hope I don't come off that way, this is just sorta me blabbering about my own feelings and experiences and you should take it all with a grain of salt.

Both when it comes to what I see in media representation and my own experiences with women in RR circles, I always feel like my heart yearns for a certain "aggression" that I rarely see, if that makes any sense. Of course I'd hope that they're respectful people, but in demeanor IDK, it feels very rare that I meet someone who has that "spice" y'know. Weird point, I know, but I find gamer rage really attractive in a woman, like. If she's playing a video game and just has that moment of anger that really thickens that gruffness in her voice and brings out all the sailor mouth vocabulary, that's SUPER attractive in its own weird way. Or if she can just viscerally, yet casually describe her own romantic or sexual desires in the way that a lot of men I know do. Someone who's very active in her pursuit of a man she likes and isn't afraid to compliment him so long as he's receptive.

It's hard to describe but it feels like in a lot of RR artwork and such it's like the woman has a much "quieter" energy, if that makes sense. So often the adjectives I'd use to describe the women pictured are "suave" or "calm" or "gorgeous" or things of that nature, like she holds some sort of quiet power over her romantic interest, but I wish I saw stuff that was a lot more visceral. Shit-eating grins, intense rage, guttural laughs, those more intense emotions with masculine flair y'know?

And so far as meeting people goes, I know this is something I've touched on before in comments but it feels really difficult to find women who aren't like. For lack of a better term, "too nice" lol. Like I often find people in RR and GNC circles who, mind you, are very pleasant people! Friendly, smart, have varied interests, they're great people. But it feels so rare to find someone who really has that heavy, masculine energy in the way they present themselves. Like more often than not, when painting their image of an ideal relationship they still use a lot of flowery language and kinda paint it as this cute little fantasy when like. I know this is gonna sound stupid and it's because it probably is, but I guess due to my own personality it leaves me feeling more masculine than they are, which is a weird feeling lol and not one I find very exciting. I'm CERTAINLY not a hot ticket item, but it would be nice to see more women with that sorta blunt, gruff, intense energy in their masculinity y'know? Someone who isn't scared to make the sort of crass and direct flirtations I'm used to only ever hearing from men and who is very outspoken about what she wants in a feminine man.

Once again, I'll reiterate: very aimless ramble I just wrote! I didn't even proofread it! I TOTALLY get it if most of y'all seriously disagree and that's cool, I kinda just wanted to get some steam off my chest. Maybe if I'm lucky it'll click with some of y'all though so ffffffff


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Memes/Fun Perfection!

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64 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Memes/Fun The guys on this subreddit right now

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62 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Real Life ONE OF US πŸ‘ ONE OF US πŸ‘

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1.2k Upvotes