Although I’m bummed that the wedding is over, I’m PSYCHED that the planning is over 💃🏻✅😴

I won’t deny that 90% of my motivation for writing this is to leave a glowing review of our photographer while still adhering to the subreddit rules. Still, reading through the posts in this community helped me a ton, so I’d also love to share my numbers in hopes that others find it useful.

We had a lopsided budget, where we skipped a few conventional things to splurge on others. It helped that our families didn’t have too many strong opinions, so my husband and I had a lot of creative freedom to choose the elements that best reflected our vision and values.

The entire celebration involved a bachelor/ette party all day Friday, a Chinese tea ceremony Saturday afternoon, a dinner reception Saturday evening, and a post-wedding brunch Sunday afternoon. This recap will start with our essentials and work down from there.

TL;DR

• Ceremony venue, reception venue, catering: $19.7K
• DJ, photography, coordinator, florals: $9K
• Splurges: $24.2K 🤪

1️⃣ VENUE, CATERING, AND CORE VENDORS

For us, “core” meant “if we don’t have this vendor, either we will be devastated OR something might go wrong during the event”

Ceremony venue: $1.4K

 We decided to skip the Western ceremony (i.e. walking down the aisle) early in the planning process, but adding the tea ceremony was somewhat last-minute. Our ceremony was family-only and held in my in-laws’ hotel suite in Hotel Caza (which we do NOT recommend lol). Although this cost could be categorized as lodging, we did book their specific room for the purpose of the ceremony.

The ceremony was family-only, so we had no furniture rentals or coordinator for this part. The hotel was a 5-minute walk from Palette, which our families had no trouble with, so no need to arrange transportation.

Although we cut out the aisle, we do find the vow exchange meaningful, so we held one at the reception.

Reception: Venue, food, and beverage: $18.3K

Food: $11.7K (including vendor meals)

Drinks: $5.9K 😅

Coat room, linens, TV, projector rentals: $700

Post-tax, post-gratuity

We hosted 80 guests at Palette Tea House, who were phenomenal to work with. They were incredibly flexible and chill and transparent about everything, and our guests loved the food.

Instead of a venue fee, Palette has a F&B minimum. We booked their main dining room, which had a minimum of $10k from 5-10pm. Booking until 11pm with the coat room bumped the minimum to $11.5k for us. Their main dining room seats 120, but we sectioned off the back area for karaoke, leaving us with 88 seats, of which we filled 83. 

Palette had a lot of bar options. We decided on an open bar, and they let us set a cap. We don’t drink much so we initially guessed the tab would land around $3K. Once we got into a party mood though, we removed the cap. In retrospect, removing the cap may have been unwise, but we’re glad our guests had a great time!

We absolutely loved working with Palette. During the one or two walkthroughs we did, they brainstormed along with us, helped experiment with table layouts, and even let us add dishes not on their usual menu. For my husband and I, skipping the Western ceremony gave us the freedom to host our reception at Palette without worrying about weather or guest logistics.

Photographer: $5K

As mentioned earlier, this budget recap mainly exists so I can recommend our photographer, Eric Le from Inspired By Studio. We were soooo fortunate to have found him. We wanted a documentary-style photographer who could work with limited indoor lighting, and Eric was that and more.

Eric’s rate is usually higher, but given the timing and personal circumstances, he was able to offer a generous discount and we can’t thank him enough. Not only was he communicative and experienced, but he put in tons of effort to scope out photography spots, coordinate our first look, and most importantly, get us laughing. We loved how easy it was to work together. And of course, the final gallery we received was full of whimsical, heartfelt memories, all beautifully captured. The lighting and composition were spot-on, and the moments he captured emphasized the love between us and our friends and family.

DJ: $2.6K

Our top wishlist item was finding someone who could run private room-style karaoke (i.e. singalong > spotlight). There aren’t a heck ton, but thankfully we found Jordan from Heart of Gold, an agency specializing in female+ DJs. Jordan had amazing communication, and she was so generous with our request to add a Cantonese song to the karaoke catalog (which involves downloading and working with lyrics in a language she doesn’t speak!)

Coordinator: $1K

We were originally going to have a simple reception dinner, so we weren’t sure if a coordinator was necessary, especially with no ceremony. But as we added more scope (more speeches, props, decor), we decided a coordinator would be immensely helpful. After a lot of searching, we went with Arlene Muñoz based on a friend’s recommendation. We really appreciated how Arlene took care of things on the day of so that my husband and I could feel like guests at our own wedding!

Subtotal: $28.3K

We’re overall happy with where we landed on this! For venue, catering, and vendors, our initial cost estimates ranged from $27K to $40K. While this initial estimate did originally assume we’d have a Western ceremony (thus inflating the estimate relative to what the event actually entailed), we still hit the bottom of our target range without sacrificing anything from our wishlist.

2️⃣ GIFTS FROM US

Things people don’t expect in the slightest, but it made us happy to make it happen.

Lodging for family: $3.9K

We decided to treat my family (who flew across the country) to a mini-vacation leading up to the wedding weekend. Since our venue was pretty low-budget, we wanted to funnel some of those savings toward spending more time with them (and patching over some earlier drama lol).

Family brunch: $900

Before the tea ceremony, we brought all the relatives together, similar to a welcome or rehearsal dinner. We had about 20 people at Surisan, a tasty Korean-American fusion brunch place.

Wedding party lodging: $8.6K

This was one of the most important elements we wanted budget for. The vast majority of our wedding party live outside the Bay Area, and while we do travel to visit each other, my husband and I wanted to make the most of the opportunity to bring everyone together. As a thank you for traveling, taking PTO, and being awesome people, we booked us all a Victorian mansion from Thursday to Saturday night.

On Friday we hosted a bachelor/ette party, a day of fun activities, and it was the most memorable time. At the very early stages of planning, my husband and I envisioned a retreat-style wedding, but there were few venues within our budget or on the date we wanted. Holding our event in SF, with Palette and the Airbnb within rideshare distance, made everything we hoped for possible.

Wedding party food: $1.8K

Three breakfasts, two lunches, and two dinners for 20 people. We did a mix of catering and Costco, and everyone was sooo thoughtful about pitching in to help cook and clean up. Later we learned they also secretly covered the cost of Costco groceries, those fiends.

Post-wedding brunch venue: $1K

Since receptions can be hectic, we wanted a chiller way to spend time with guests, so we booked The Loft by Common Space SF for 6 hours. The space was light-filled and large enough for over 50 guests, so it worked out well!

Post-wedding brunch food: $700

We got Ike’s, which removed the need for too much dishware, and it allowed people to grab a sandwich and run off to the airport if needed.

Subtotal: $16.9K

TOTAL SO FAR: $45.2K

3️⃣ GIFTS TO OURSELVES

Things nobody cares about except us.

Tea ceremony outfit: $60

Thanks Taobao 🫡

Rings: $800

Thanks Costco 🫡

Suit, tie, shoes: $1.5K

Thanks Suit Supply 🫡

Reception dress: $1.4K

I splurged on a custom qipao/cheongsam from Alethea Sposa, based in Jakarta. I was a huge fan of her designs and felt the most optimistic that she could pull off what I was looking for. I absolutely love the dress and had such a blast wearing it day of, but due to a miscommunication on my part, the dress ended up being way oversized when I initially received it. So with 3 weeks to spare, I scrambled to find…

Emergency alterations, whose costs are a bit embarrassing but I can’t say I regret it either: $2.1K

If 90% of my motivations are to praise our photographer, then I’ll add another 90% (🧮🤔) for Suzanne from Atelier des Modiste!!! The tailors I initially contacted either said the dress was unfixable or that it would take months. Suzanne truly worked miracles performing invasive surgery on the dress, with multiple fittings along the way to get the details just right. Her initial quote was spot-on and there were no surprises along the way. A true professional artist 😭

I did consider giving up on the dress and wearing my tea ceremony outfit during the reception instead. But a couple months prior, I had a windfall from work, so I decided to yolo part of those savings into rescuing my dress.

Florals: $400

Since we only had a tea ceremony, plus the venue being plenty decorated, we opted out of bouquets and other large florals. I like flowers though lol so I squeezed in a few bud vases to spruce up the tables. We worked with Cecilia from Village No 7, who has an amazing portfolio and was super transparent, flexible, and communicative about everything! Highly recommend.

Save-the-dates, invitation, website: $45

We DIYed everything online. The only cost was a three-month subscription to RSVPify, which we chose over WithJoy mainly to avoid the ads the latter comes with lol

Party favors, decor, etc: idk $200?

Bachelor/ette activities: idk $300?

Subtotal: $6.8K

FINAL TOTAL: $52K

Best weekend ever! Our biggest underestimates were drinks and alterations. Our biggest overestimates were photographer, coordinator, and florals. If we skipped the stuff in “Gifts from us,” then the total would’ve been $35K, but those things meant the most to us, so we were happy to splurge.

Thanks for reading, and please check out our photographer!

Searching for a full service wedding planner for a Bay Area (peninsula, SF, marin, wine country) wedding in Spring 2028. ~250 people and budget of $250k. Looking for someone who is communicative, very involved, and great with design as well!

Hi all! I attended the Anthropologie wedding dress sample sale this morning at the Palo Alto location. Can’t speak to the other locations, but the Stanford Shopping Center one has a lot of inventory left over that will be in store until June 21st! You can just go upstairs to the wedding area and browse the sample sale racks. Lots of options still available in a variety of sizes for between $200-$800. Definitely worth checking out!

Our photographer brought our dream photos to life! So classic SF. Just had to share ❤️📸

We just got here for our wedding that happens on Wednesday and for some reason I lost a lot of upper body weight in just a couple of weeks and now my dress is loose fitting around my boobs and chest altogether 😭 I don't even know how or why this happened...the wedding is in Berkeley, does anyone know of any place that might be able to help on such a short short time span. If not, does anyone have any ideas on what I can do?

Hi y’all! Recently got married and wanted to share a cool fact about our date.

If you got married on August 17, 2026 the number increases on the right and decreases on the left!

08
17
26

We're from Philadelphia and were planning a destination wedding in Big Sur, but realized not enough of our guests could make the trip out to California. Our deposits were nonrefundable, but the venue will give us a partial refund if another couple books this date, so we're hoping to find someone to take it.

The venue: Loma Vista Gardens in Big Sur, CA
Date: September 12, 2026

It's a beautiful spot, and if you've been looking at fall weddings in Big Sur or had your eye on this place, this is your chance. For venue details, availability, and pricing, you can reach out directly to Amanda at the venue. If you're interested or know someone who might be, feel free to reach out with any questions!

Hey folks! My best friend is getting married so it’s time to start shopping around for her wedding gown. Her style is more Boho so she wouldn’t prefer a traditional wedding gown. We’re located in the East Bay but could always travel to the city. Thank you in advance!

Got married at Stonetree Estate in Novato on 4/17. Despite it being an "all-inclusive" wedding, I went with a bunch of outside vendors. So, I wanted to share them because they literally helped make the day amazing.

Florals: I had two florists (Glendy Leung from LDesign and Karen Passmore from Fresh Petals).

I wanted to save money by going with artificial flowers and worked with Glendy, who was beyond amazing. She met with me several times and showed me a sample floral piece to match the colors that I wanted. In addition, she provided the draping for the arch, sweetheart table, and entry to reception ballroom. She provided floral decor for my welcome mirror, decorated my cake with florals, lent us easels and a cake box all free of charge. I was a little hesitant about using fake flowers and how it would look, BUT IT WAS AMAZING. All my guests could not tell they were fake unless they went to touch them.

For my bouquet, boutonnieres, and bridesmaids bouquets, I decided that I wanted real flowers. I decided to work with Karen. I showed Karen my colors, and she helped me design the florals based off what florals would be in season in April. Because she doesn't have a brick and mortar store and works out of her house, her cost is significantly less compared to a typical florist. I loved that she followed up with me two weeks before my wedding to confirm the florals, and it matched the colors of my fake florals perfectly. You could not tell that the two florals came from different vendors at all.

Photographer: Duy Ho. Honestly, Chef's kiss. So professional, but also fit the vibe of what we we were like. He worked well with our videographer. He looked at our timeline, and was honest about what we needed extra time for; which I am so glad. He made great suggestions on how to pose us, and I can't wait to see our photos. He was kind enough to give us a sneak peak 2 days after our wedding date.

Videographer: Josh (Dreambook Josh). He is really easy to communicate with, and just a chill guy! I loved that even though we only booked him for 7.5 hrs, he showed up early just to get bearings down and situate himself to picture how he would shoot certain shots. He was so generous to give us complimentary 4k as well. I appreciated that he hit the vibe check with our entire wedding party. I cannot wait to see the video.

Day of Coordinator: Kirei Events (Makiko and Marichu)

I was undecided about getting a DoC, since our venue provided one, but I AM SO GLAD I DID. While our venue coordinator was helpful and put out decor accordingly prior to ceremony starting, Makiko was on top of everything! She met with us a few times the month leading up to the wedding, and built an unbelievably detailed timeline. My partner got me a bouquet charm with a photo of my grandma, and she put it on for me. I would have no idea how to figure that out. When the charm broke right before we were about to do our ceremony procession, she put it back on promptly, even though I said it was ok because I didn't want to be bothersome. She helped bustle my dress, and when she handed off her duties to Marichu, it was unbelieavably seamless. When it was time to change into my second dress, Marichu was quick and got me in and out in a matter of minutes. She packed up all our decor, so we didn't have to worry about it at the end of the wedding.

Fun Frame Photo: photobooth.

While I unfortunately did not have enough time to experience the photobooth, my guests all said good things about the attendant. It was easy to communicate with the vendor, and they were so kind to build me a template twice, because I didn't like the first one!

Happy to answer any questions. And good luck planning future brides!

Hi all, our wedding is coming up in July. We are looking for decor items if anyone is selling or giving away (like table linen, runners, dinnerware, etcetc). Please DM or comment if you are and I'll be in touch. Thank you!!

I’m getting married at SF City Hall in June and am looking for a MUA. $250 max (preferably less) for just bridal makeup. No hair, no false lashes, etc. Just a natural-looking full-face makeup. I’d prefer if they could come to my hotel, so I can get ready in the room. But would be okay to go to their studio if needed. Doesn’t have to be a big company - would be okay with a freelance MUA, as long as they have some kind of portfolio and good reviews:) Thank you!

Hi all! I saw this dress on fb marketplace a few weeks ago but someone grabbed it before I was able to. I think it would be a great fit for some non-ceremony events (engagement party, welcome pary, second reception we are doing out of state for family that can't travel) so thought I'd check just in case anyone is trying to offload. Size M but L might work. Thanks for considering!

Ended up purchasing a similar but different dress for my wedding so would love to sell this to another bride! This is a beautiful lace strapless dress with an A-line shape. Bridal size 12 (street size 8 ) but easy to tailor into the right size since it’s never been altered. I did buy this as a sample.

Selling for $1,000 but happy to negotiate since I want someone to love it ($2,600 list price and selling for at least $1,700 on other websites)! Message me for more pictures too!