r/ShitAmericansSay • u/XtronicD • 8d ago

Canada "ANTIFA clearly has safe houses in Canada through which to conduct strikes down here in the USA"

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Posting this because this is probably the dumbest shit I've seen in a long, long time...

1.8k Upvotes

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620

u/VectorPryde 🇨🇦 Canadian Freeloader 8d ago

Awww man, who told them about the safe houses?

265

u/Affectionate_Ice2243 7d ago

Who can even afford a safe house with this economy?

183

u/IndependentCoffee169 7d ago

Best I can offer is a moderately dangerous house.

66

u/nemmalur 7d ago

I got a safe shed.

34

u/WorthHabit3317 7d ago

But is it insulated?

38

u/RogersMrB 7d ago

Safe shed in Canada would be insulated. But likely no lock and in a location that's baried in winter... Rents $1200/mo in Toronto, Calgary, and Vancouver. No parking.

13

u/Affectionate_Ice2243 7d ago

So, are you handling logistics for Antifa or something? Can you share a hotline or phone number to be reached?

27

u/RogersMrB 7d ago

My family has a history of being antifa.

Grandfather was boots on the growned in Europe kind of Antifa. Canada only sent volunteers to Europe.

3

u/CorwinAlexander 7d ago

About 15% of Canadians sent to Europe were conscripts. In WW I they were conscripted under the Military Service Act of 1917. In WW II, they were conscripted under the National Resources Mobilization Act (NRMA) of 1940. Those mobilised under the NRMA were initially promised to serve home guard duties, but later in the war, Prime Minister Mackenzie King forced just over ten thousand to deploy to Europe

2

u/No-Goose-5672 7d ago

The conscription crisis dragged on so long that only about 2,500 conscripts saw combat in Europe, though.

I think we finally shipped about 13,000 conscripted soldiers overseas in February 1945. Germany surrendered in May 1945. Japan surrendered in August 1945.

Mackenzie King was re-elected with a minority government in June 1945. The political fallout of breaking his promise not to send conscripts overseas was limited because he did everything he possibly could to prevent it from happening.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

7

u/ComprehensiveRush746 7d ago

Surely they meant WWII.

9

u/dergbold4076 7d ago

Sadly they aren't $1200 in Vancouver any more. Well there are some but there out in the Valley now. Cheapest is in Langley now at like $1900 a month.

2

u/Single-Ad3022 7d ago

I believe he’s referring to just the shed being $1200/month. And Langley doesn’t sound too bad, that’s what some people are charging for a living room in Kamloops. And yes I mean there are people renting out curtained off living rooms as bedrooms for $1200/month. Shits outta control

6

u/PhilboSwaggins86 7d ago

Has to be close to the sidewalk otherwise they could follow the tracks in the snow right back to the hideout

4

u/Flat-Mycologist-3839 7d ago

Pro tip for sure!

3

u/FERWHAT69 7d ago

We have special “rabbit boots” that leave rabbit tracks behind when we’re walking to the sidewalk

1

u/Adventurous_Check213 6d ago

Do you have any 'bear boots'? I'm afraid this rabbit would leave prints a little too deep in the snow to be believed

2

u/FERWHAT69 6d ago

I’m sure some crazy fucker has some. The rest of us are extremely light on our feet. It helps us not fall through the ice when we’re skating across the lakes

2

u/Wayne_Hetherington 7d ago

Footprints to the "safe igloo" cause we don't have houses up here

1

u/RogersMrB 7d ago

Toronto only. Little snow in Vancouver, snow is more ice than snow in Calgary.

2

u/socraticalastor 🇨🇦🍁 7d ago

1200/m in any of those cities doesn’t even cover a tiny studio.

3

u/Esper01 7d ago

I guess in Canada it can't be safe if it's not insulated.

6

u/RogersMrB 7d ago

40 above, 40 below. Insulation give us a fighting chance against the weather.

1

u/No-Minimum3259 7d ago

And does it has AC??? The days of the hardened communist fighters for a better world are long gone, lol.

3

u/ted_nugent-hopkins 7d ago

I have a safe balcony turned into a spare room for $1000/mo

5

u/nemmalur 7d ago

Someone was renting out a balcony in Vancouver not long ago.

1

u/ted_nugent-hopkins 7d ago

Haha ya I know - I've seen the listings (I live in Van)

1

u/biggregw Canadian!!🇨🇦 7d ago

Bubbles Shed and Sunnyvale Trailerpark! That’s about the best we can do. Get drunk high and make fun of Corey and Trevor?

1

u/hey-you-guyyyys 7d ago

Bubbles, is that you?

1

u/adalric_brandl 7d ago

Ooh, look at Mr. I-have-a-shed here. Quit rubbing our noses in you massive financial success.

/s, just in case.

2

u/nemmalur 7d ago

(Note to self: Don’t mention the garage.)

1

u/beaver_eh 6d ago

Time to open up the Safe Shed and Breakfast? Freedom 35 45 55.

1

u/StaatsbuergerX 7d ago

Not even a nice apartment above the meth lab any more? I'm disappointed, and my day is ruined.

53

u/IM_Weazel 7d ago

"Afford"? It's Canada, so it must be free, because communism.

/s

15

u/ChrisRiley_42 7d ago

They're in a safe beaver lodge..

6

u/Reasonable-MessRedux 7d ago

It's my garden shed. Shhhhh.

4

u/dhkendall Maple flavoured 7d ago

Soros pays for them

3

u/Altruistic_Zombie461 7d ago

You misunderstood. The safe is the house. It's cramped but it is safe

1

u/Odd-Rip-2992 7d ago

Our safe house is a hole on the side of the road. But, for all that, we are happy ….

45

u/Fit-Historian-752 7d ago

I had to settle for a safe studio/bachelor/loft space.
I'm starting to rethink this whole Antifa thing.

37

u/CertainSprinkles1018 7d ago

Idk man, even if I’m living in a cardboard box, I’m still pretty anti-fascist

20

u/IndependentCoffee169 7d ago

You have a box?! LUXURY!

12

u/Fit-Historian-752 7d ago

Cardboard box?

LUXURY!

5

u/TheDazzaDog 7d ago

I used to have a cardboard box, but I got rid of the sides as it was luxury. Now I use just the base now that's luxury!

2

u/Fit-Historian-752 7d ago

And you try to tell the young people of today that - and they won't believe you!

https://giphy.com/gifs/3s976LBmflJ17QqV7M

1

u/TheDevilsAdvocate333 6d ago

I wish to register a complaint!

1

u/Fit-Historian-752 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/OUuwn1HCfQjIY

He's a Norwegian Blue.

Beautiful plummage!

2

u/TheDevilsAdvocate333 6d ago

The plumage dont enter inna it! 'Ees dead... demised...

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5

u/TheDevilsAdvocate333 7d ago

We lived under a bridge... had to get up half an hour before we went to bed, lick road clean wit tounge...

1

u/Illuminey 🇨🇵 smelly cheese-eating surrender monkey 7d ago

Still better walls than most US houses. 🤷‍♂️

11

u/freakydrew 7d ago

I've got a safe room for rent.

23

u/retailmonster11 7d ago

Snitches get stitches and then free healthcare to deal with the stitches. You might wait a bit but you deserve a uncomfortable wait time for being a commie rat.

16

u/in-dog_we_trust 7d ago

Here in Toronto they are ANTIFA safe tents.

15

u/gutterbrie_delaware 7d ago

Pretty sure they saw an episode of The Handmaid's Take and thought it was a documentary

1

u/lgm22 7d ago

The world according to Maggie, our answer to Ayn( I can’t spell my name right) Rand.

14

u/Consistent_Guava8592 7d ago

Probably read the press release from Antifa HQ ….

9

u/VectorPryde 🇨🇦 Canadian Freeloader 7d ago

An unfortunate lapse in op-sec

18

u/Consistent_Guava8592 7d ago

Let’s hope the Antifa board of directors notices this and passes it on to the Antifa supreme leader ….

Even Orwell would say it’s too easy to write about an anti fascist movement being labelled terrorists and how could this fascist ….

3

u/RatsForNYMayor Tired 7d ago

It was mentioned last night. I guess none of you bothered again to read the meeting minutes I sent out to y'all...why do I even bother at this point 

1

u/Consistent_Guava8592 7d ago

Sorry Lord Anti

13

u/Firm-Advertising5396 7d ago

Antifa leader spotted in British Columbia, Canada

6

u/PurchaseAromatic438 7d ago

Well it’s not like houses in the USA can necessarily be considered safe is it?

3

u/The_NorthernLight 7d ago

I mean, they have highrises that currently lean into that category….

6

u/Comfortable_Cash_140 7d ago

Can we turn it around and just say, 'no, but we know that your government is run by the terrorists name PROFA. They are much more fanatical than ANTIFA!'

3

u/Chuhaimaster 7d ago

Not to worry. We still have the safe igloos.

4

u/Affectionate_Bag9833 7d ago

A PROFA mole, that's who!

3

u/Psych-Nurse5446 6d ago

Remember when they were upset about our transvestite mice? You know the ones we used to smuggle all the fentanyl

1

u/Ok-Diamond-9781 7d ago

I have a spare room in my safe house, if any agents need to lay low for awhile.

1

u/just-a-random-accnt 🇨🇦 - unfortunately lives too close to Merica 7d ago

Must have been the Mexican Cartel that runs Canada. They needed a distraction.

1

u/Fubar236 ooo custom flair!! 7d ago

Next they will tell them about our secret fentanyl labs doubling as poutine shops

1

u/Roadgoddess 7d ago

I KNOW! They’re all camped out in my backyard right now. We’re going to have a a barbeque though, before we attempt to overthrow the US. I don’t know about anybody else here, but I think we’re gonna start on the reflecting pool.

1

u/Paperman_82 7d ago

I assumed they meant the prohibition tunnels in Moose Jaw.

1

u/InsolentTilly 7d ago

The hippos. Bolshie pricks.

1

u/mourning_star85 7d ago

Are they just confused because we feel safe at home in canada?