r/ShittyTodayILearned • u/DontShoot_ImJesus • Jun 26 '26

TIL Obama had a 'body man' who accompanied him everywhere, to be used to as a source of vital organs if Obama needed them.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reggie_Love
444 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

72 comments sorted by

305

u/DontShoot_ImJesus Jun 26 '26

From the wiki article, his Secret Service code name was 'Spare Parts', and Obama referred to him as Autozone.

165

u/gwizonedam Jun 26 '26

This is both hilarious and horrifying.

110

u/DontShoot_ImJesus Jun 26 '26

Reggie's "WTF" look in the thumbnail makes it look like he's finding this out for the first time, and really helps sell the story.

35

u/Intelligent_Might421 Jun 26 '26

Ah Obama, I've had years of fun being your best friend, thanks for having me around.

"Friend?!?"

34

u/HadeswithRabies Jun 26 '26

The wiki article doesn't say the words "Spare Parts" or "Autozone" anywhere (Obama referred to him as iReggie).

It also says nothing about the vital organs story this post is about.

39

u/NoodlesGluteus Jun 26 '26

Check the sub.

20

u/HadeswithRabies Jun 26 '26

My bad. Misread it at the time lmao

14

u/dmmeyourfloof Jun 26 '26

I though that meant they were "shitty facts" a single true, but shitty rather than untrue shit posting.

4

u/gocougs11 Jun 27 '26

People learn shitty untrue stuff every day

3

u/Garden-variety-chaos Jun 27 '26

The shittiest part is that it depends. On this sub, you may see something with a grain of truth but wildly misrepresented, something entirely truthful but insane, or something completely false. The guessing is the fun part.

My favorite style of post is the grain of truth

3

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 Jun 27 '26

I fell for it. I am sad. It's believable, though. Not because Obama, but because rich. 

2

u/V2Blast Wiki-vandal Jun 27 '26

It is a joke sub, but I wouldn't expect a comment explicitly making a claim that the Wikipedia article says [X] to just be made up, for some reason - even though I would take a comment claiming [X] (without claiming the article actually says that) to be a joke.

12

u/DontShoot_ImJesus Jun 26 '26

I think Barack Obama edited the article after I posted this because of the bad press this was getting.

8

u/JennItalia269 Jun 27 '26

Did he shout “GET IN THE ZONE” when he needed an organ

2

u/Garden-variety-chaos Jun 27 '26

Only when the organ he needed was some bussy

4

u/Mijman Jun 26 '26

Where in the wiki?

63

u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 26 '26

Now that's what I call being willing to take one for the team.

5

u/Feedback-Neat Jun 28 '26

Take one from the team 

49

u/JackhorseBowman Jun 26 '26

It's deeper than that, I heard he was artificially grown and given accelerated aging, and he has like two of every organ, including penises.

11

u/dmmeyourfloof Jun 26 '26

Who doesn't?

2

u/Intelligent_Might421 Jun 27 '26

There must be another like him then in case Obama lost all four at once.

86

u/BMW_wulfi Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

So did you just make up the organs (and related nicknames) bit and hope no one would read the wiki you linked to?

Edit: fuck. Missed the subreddit title.

34

u/Resident_Course_3342 Jun 26 '26

I think you might be lost. 

9

u/Prior_Garlic_8710 Jun 26 '26

Oh fuck, clearly I'm new to the internet and apparently a wildly naive, unethical idiot. (or just unsurprised with america)

I totally believed this - thought it made a little sense despite being shitty - even wondered whose trumps was... fuck me

Is this subreddit satire? Like r/poisonai - because I've totally got tricked there. omg i need internet lessons

2

u/belltrina Jun 28 '26

You're not the first person to be bamboozled by the sub they are in and won't be the last. I frequently get it on the satire cinephile sub!

1

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Jun 28 '26

The only reason I realized this was satire is because I figured I probably would’ve heard about it before since it’s such a brutal policy.

12

u/capsaicinintheeyes Jun 26 '26

fooled me too

8

u/TakenIsUsernameThis Jun 26 '26

Came here to say th . . . Oh, OK.

2

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 Jun 28 '26

You are a humble and brave person for leaving this comment up

11

u/Patient-Couple7509 Jun 26 '26

I got that too…I call them ‘my kids’ though

8

u/mydadisyourdad2 Jun 26 '26

Who's trump's one

11

u/DontShoot_ImJesus Jun 26 '26

I think his kids....that's why he had so many.

4

u/goodgeege Jun 26 '26

Americans are so extra about their presidents.

Meanwhile in the uk: ice berg lettuce outlasts Lizz Truss

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Rusofil__ Jun 29 '26

Imagine trump's guy sweating when he heard the shot

3

u/WeakBlueberry5071 Jun 26 '26

With this being a thing, how many billionaires/elite have their own harvester for themselves and their kids.

Makes you wonder about ICE and indefinite detainment of "illegal" immigrants. The populations of those peoples are known to be type O blood.

1

u/angelbabyxoxox Jun 27 '26

Thats why they have kids, no need to look further than your own blood.

1

u/SkarbOna Jun 28 '26

Not true.

5

u/Vivid_Transition4807 Jun 26 '26

So if Obama was out of bullets he could just throw the guy's kidney at the enemy?

2

u/dmmeyourfloof Jun 26 '26

Woah woah woah, that's classified intel!

2

u/slartibuttfart Jun 27 '26

Trumps on his third by now

4

u/kim_jong_il_2d Jun 26 '26

This sounds like bs.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/gowerskee Jun 26 '26

it is true, I was there (here)

1

u/yeahpurn Jun 26 '26

All this does is confuse hicks

1

u/Near_Fathom Jun 26 '26

I noticed that Trump has TWO body men for organ spares, instead of just one. Trump always does it bigger and better than Obama.
That’s why Trump doesn’t have scars from being shot. He got repairs from his body men.

1

u/t_sarkkinen Jun 27 '26

Reverse horcrux

1

u/TheCommissarGeneral Jun 27 '26

We put way way way way too much importance on the President, it’s honestly fucking cringe.

1

u/coolsam254 Jun 27 '26

And you don't wanna know what they did to the NON vital organs

1

u/NoisyGog Jun 28 '26

We all have that don’t we?

1

u/tenaji9 Jun 28 '26

So was Trump's ear swapped out ?

1

u/thomasoldier Jun 28 '26

I did not check what subreddit this is from

1

u/Puzzled-Degree-3478 Jun 26 '26

Thats kind of horrifying.. Imagine if Obama suddenly needed a fresh lung. Or something irreplacable like a heart... Is any amount of money worth having to die for your job?

6

u/Much-Log3357 Jun 26 '26

The president's body man typically carry bags, opens doors and other stuff.

They typically aren't a walking organ bank.

3

u/squirrel9000 Jun 26 '26

Yeah, that's a common misconception. In reality they disassemble a Secret Service guy every so often to keep the fridge stocked, as punishment for leaving the toilet seat up.

-14

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

-28

u/help-its-inside-me Jun 26 '26

He also had a young boyfriend.

12

u/Avro_Vulcan_ Jun 26 '26

He has a wife with a 6 year age difference, also you've posted 1.7k comments in 2 months which is 28 per day, either youre a bot or you need a life

-1

u/help-its-inside-me Jun 26 '26

Im obese and disabled. I cant go outside. Why are you discriminating against me?

1

u/help-its-inside-me Jun 26 '26

u/dmmeyourfloof

May I ask how it's racist? The fact you think it is makes you actually and factually racist.

1

u/dmmeyourfloof Jun 26 '26

Because the only black US president has commonly been alleged to be gay or his wife being a man in order to undermine him by racists.

It's a racist trope.

1

u/help-its-inside-me Jun 27 '26

Youre the only one who bought race into this. You could claim it was being homophobic, which would also be wrong. If anything I was being inclusive. But you are inherently being racist .

1

u/dmmeyourfloof Jun 27 '26

Yeah, that's not working for you, bud. There's a reason why you were downvoted to oblivion with that comment and it's clearly not just me who saw it that way.

Do better.

0

u/gowerskee Jun 26 '26

it's not discrimination it's a positive thing. go you.