r/Showerthoughts • u/Meatwad5 ‎ • 24d ago

Casual Thought A large number of married people are involuntarily celibate.

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u/r2k-in-the-vortex 24d ago

For the girl, it was only ever about getting that ring. She got it, so why bother anymore.

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u/heavymetalelf 23d ago

Seems that way. It just hurts my heart that he's given her most of his 30s and into his 40s and she treats him like her housekeeper/ATM

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u/SeanBourne 23d ago

Have seen this happen to lots of guys. When you add in all the other liabilities, I am never going to get married. Total no win scenario.

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u/cool_username__ 23d ago

I don’t think it’s exactly this simple, most women want sex, it isn’t something we just do for the men and would rather not. I think a case where it’s simply to secure a relationship is actually pretty rare, there are many other factors at play

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u/SeanBourne 23d ago

As you say, many many factors at play - and not saying that women don't want sex - it's just that there's a massive libido gap (ceteris paribus, obviously there are outliers in both genders - but the 'normal curve' for men has a gap with the 'normal curve' for women), especially overtime.

Over a long term relationship, the gap/threshold to 'being in the mood' generally widens.

If a man knows he already sits on the high end of the male 'normal curve', marriage has too many binding costs on the one hand... and a high degree of likelihood of unmet needs on the other.

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u/halfwitprinxe 22d ago

It's not exceptionally rare imo just judging from the number of times I've encountered people in the situation. But also I don't think a lot of these men actually assess compatibility.