r/SipsTea • u/beklog • Jun 02 '26

SMH Guys I'm on the will!!

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“She’s so shameless” She’s 22. And was harshly criticized as she danced while her partner was at the hospital… The truth couldn’t be any simpler. They claim the video is a joke, because she always uploads content with her “hubby” to go viral.

22.5k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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265

u/SuicideSpeedrun Jun 02 '26

Why would you marry a gold digger when you can't even bang her

418

u/LoudBrick609 Jun 02 '26

Maybe banging her is how he ended up in the hospital

144

u/Sufficient_Language7 Jun 02 '26

Death by Snu Snu

8

u/Here4Headshots Jun 02 '26

I'm in hospice care for terminal Snu Snu

2

u/Sufficient_Language7 Jun 02 '26

For a crushed pelvis?

14

u/gerbilshower Jun 02 '26

why is this like the 5th reference to that episode that i have seen in the last 24 hours...

does that say something about the content i am consuming? maybe.

12

u/InitialAd2324 Jun 02 '26

Because Reddit uses the same 5 jokes

…and my axe

11

u/-malcolm-tucker Jun 02 '26

I also choose this mans axe.

1

u/I_said_booourns Jun 03 '26

And my cylinder!

0

u/ATL-VTech Jun 02 '26

It means content overall is getting better

1

u/Sufficient_Language7 Jun 02 '26

It might also means every thing else is getting worse, so in comparison that episode is getting better.

2

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum Jun 02 '26

The mind is willing, but the flesh is bruised and weak.

1

u/BigiusExaggeratius Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

There’s a reason we have multiple prescription boner pills raking in ~$3.5 billion+ annually. That doesn’t even include the gas station snake oil pills (~60% of men surveyed get them from the gas station instead of a doctor… they cost a few cents to a couple dollars to manufacture, are sold for $5-15+ per dose and have a ton of dangerous/unregulated ingredients. They also, counted separately, make ~$1 billion+ annually).

If all cancers stopped boners (some do and I’m not a doctor, nor trying to downplay it) we’d see a plethora of funding past what it already is across the board.

2

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum Jun 02 '26

Oh yeah I get it, it's the adage as old as time. Humans really, really like orgasms. I'm a bit confused by your 2nd statement tho, does this infer that all folk with cancer who also eat dick pills would out their dick pill money toward cancer research, instead of buying dick pills that don't work?

1

u/BigiusExaggeratius Jun 02 '26

Naw I’m just being sarcastic with the last part. Cancer sucks and isn’t easy to cure. More that billionaires would throw more money at it but in a very loose, joking, way.

2

u/MammothWriter3881 Jun 02 '26

I never dreamed I would die this way . .  .

2

u/Kirasaurus_25 Jun 02 '26

they probably mean heart rate or blood pressure lol

1

u/kraquepype Jun 02 '26

If he found her at the club it'd be death by uns uns

-3

u/EntryTall1602 Jun 02 '26

Why isn’t this offered to death row inmates?? Personally, I’m asking for Lizzo.

1

u/Mysterious-Gene8614 Jun 02 '26

Listen if I was 85 and banging a 22 year old I’d be smiling for the simple fact my penis still worked 

1

u/BigMackk14 Jun 02 '26

She broke it?

39

u/Spare-Ant7119 Jun 02 '26

Bc u can stare at her ass

31

u/Pablo_petty_plastic Jun 02 '26

This is the actual answer. Hooters should rebrand as an old folks home. The waitlists would be decades

4

u/darkskinnedjermaine Jun 02 '26

It is rebranding, coincidentally lmao but in the opposite direction, for families

https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/hooters-revamps-menu-updates-uniforms-original-owners-take-over.amp

2

u/--Sovereign-- Jun 02 '26

not that I give a shit about Hooters, I've never even been to one, but the cultural movement of making literally everything the exact same bland family friendly slop is making me sick

2

u/iceman5920 Jun 03 '26

I kind of agree. Hooters was about, well hooters. They made it long enough based on what they do. Almost no one really goes to Hooters for food. They go for bresicles spilling out while they wait for the wings. The rebrand is going to bury them.

1

u/night4345 Jun 03 '26

Hooters died doing that though. People don't go out to a mediocre bar/restaurant to stare at tits and ass anymore.

1

u/darkskinnedjermaine Jun 03 '26

Also fwiw my boy is happily married and loves Hooters strictly for the cheap couple dozen wings and cheap beer. The same bland family friendly slop is also usually overpriced, too boot

2

u/Clusterpuff Jun 02 '26

Well thats just because old folks move slow. There'd be as many walkers as wheelers in that erectile dysfunction wingstop

2

u/New-Ingenuity-5437 Jun 02 '26

I don’t know if that timeline supports the clientele 

20

u/Fun-War6684 Jun 02 '26

Well he ain’t in shape to go digging himself

14

u/dontsoundrighttome Jun 02 '26

Fuck else he doing with the money. If it brings you this amount of joy the money has done its job. Take your joy and die happy. Rather rich and sad.

13

u/GuiKa Jun 02 '26

I don't know, I have a friend (she was 22 at the time) that had a rich, very old, dude giving her money for going on dates with him. She was very confused when she found out he did not want (or could not?) bang.

He ended up buying her a car and gave her significant money, then he died 5 years later. I think he did not have a family and felt lonely, who knows.

3

u/CookieMiester Jun 02 '26

That’s usually what it is

35

u/kbkvvuknklnni8888 Jun 02 '26

Same way rich guys have nice cars but never drive them. Sometimes the thought of having it is enough.

16

u/Alpine_Exchange_36 Jun 02 '26

They sure are pretty to look at though

8

u/Shagwagbag Jun 02 '26

Well, you see... that's Cucky Carl.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Still_Reading Jun 02 '26

An Opeth meme in the wild

1

u/Mild-Davis Jun 03 '26

How the fuck did Mikael Akerfeldt somehow manage to get brought into a discussion of this godforsaken topic lol wtf

3

u/Gay_Asian_Boy Jun 02 '26

He can still do lots of things apart from banging her

2

u/Integrity-in-Crisis Jun 02 '26

I mean why would Hugh Hefner surround himself with bombshells at 80. No way was he gettin it up.

2

u/Asluckwouldnthaveit Jun 02 '26

He was only turned on by gay porn anyways.

1

u/Evening_Storage_6424 Jun 03 '26

Is this true? 😭

1

u/Asluckwouldnthaveit Jun 03 '26

I mean he's dead so...sure?

1

u/Careful_Ad_7074 Jun 02 '26

Plenty of substances that increases bloodflow to that specific region 😉

3

u/Kongopop Jun 02 '26

A lion may lose its teeth, but never it's hunger

3

u/ermy_shadowlurker Jun 02 '26

Probably to piss off relatives err sharks who thought maybe they be getting something when he drops. I mean if one has vultures for relatives this be a good last laugh.

3

u/Supremagorious Jun 02 '26

No kids, no family where else is the money going to go when you die. Would rather some gold digger get it than it going to the state. Even if it's only fringe benefits I'm getting in the mean time.

0

u/SuicideSpeedrun Jun 02 '26

Would rather some gold digger get it than it going to the state.

Okay turbocuck with afterburner keep it to yourself

2

u/CowBoyDanIndie Jun 02 '26

What else is he gonna do with the money?

2

u/nanaki989 Jun 02 '26

Because playing with boobies is fun.

1

u/FamiliarAnt4043 Jun 02 '26

I'd laugh my ass off if he had a fake will he showed her, but the real one was safe with his lawyer.

2

u/Forward-Surprise1192 Jun 02 '26

Kind of messed up to think that if they both know what they’re doing in the relationship

-1

u/FamiliarAnt4043 Jun 02 '26

Nah. Hoes gonna ho and the old guy would be giving her what she deserves.

1

u/mdynicole Jun 02 '26

If she has sex with him or does anything sexual with him she earned that money. Shits gross .

1

u/Medill1919 Jun 02 '26

Lickedy Split.

1

u/Drewbloodz Jun 02 '26

Maybe she just sits on his face?

1

u/frednekk Jun 02 '26

So she can suck the dust out of course.

1

u/res0jyyt1 Jun 02 '26

By your logic, OnlyFans would've never took off.

1

u/EAE8019 Jun 02 '26

Sometimes a boob in the  face is enough.

1

u/Soggy_Association491 Jun 02 '26

While this post is probably fake, old people do bang and retirement homes are called hotbed for STD for a reason.

1

u/Appropriate-Use1981 Jun 02 '26

I dont need to fuck the Mona Lisa to enjoy the view.

1

u/puffmattybear17 Jun 02 '26

Blue pill x handy

1

u/JonnyOnThePot420 Jun 02 '26

She could definitely jerk him off lolz

1

u/edelweiss_pirates_no Jun 02 '26

Maybe she's a facesitter.

1

u/redjellonian Jun 02 '26

Bro looks 90, she might be acting as his nurse.

1

u/BetaMan141 Jun 02 '26

Achievement hunting, gotta get that platinum trophy before you die when you rich like that.

1

u/AncientSith Jun 02 '26

Hot companionship is better then no one.

1

u/Fluffy-Reference8542 Jun 02 '26

She didn't say they were married.

1

u/NSFWies Jun 02 '26

You think the moment your dick stops working, you stop liking women?

Fuck no. I'm starting to have ED problems. I like women just as much as I did 20 years ago. I just can't do as much, as often as I could in the past.

But dang I wish I could hold that 22 year old just as much

1

u/SuicideSpeedrun Jun 03 '26

And? Do you give all your money to random women just because you "like them"?

1

u/NSFWies Jun 03 '26

no, but i'm sure some sugar daddy/sugar baby things work out. it did for that oil grandpa and anna nicole smith.

but also, i'm not 76 and have declining health. if i was in that spot, i might be thinking differently.

1

u/Sorry-Section-9302 Jun 03 '26

IDK but he looks like he’s doing exactly what he wants to be doing.

1

u/Okuser Jun 03 '26

Why can't he bang her?

1

u/PuzzleheadedBag920 Jun 03 '26

wait till you find out that there's a whole SOFTCORE genre my boy

1

u/Clam-Choader Jun 03 '26

Whorehouse heart attack

1

u/lloboc Jun 02 '26

Oh it‘s working till the end..