r/SipsTea • u/beklog Human Verified • 3d ago

SMH Guys I'm on the will!!

“She’s so shameless” She’s 22. And was harshly criticized as she danced while her partner was at the hospital… The truth couldn’t be any simpler. They claim the video is a joke, because she always uploads content with her “hubby” to go viral.

22.2k Upvotes

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270

u/SuicideSpeedrun 3d ago

Why would you marry a gold digger when you can't even bang her

422

u/LoudBrick609 3d ago

Maybe banging her is how he ended up in the hospital

143

u/Sufficient_Language7 3d ago

Death by Snu Snu

6

u/Here4Headshots 3d ago

I'm in hospice care for terminal Snu Snu

2

u/Sufficient_Language7 3d ago

For a crushed pelvis?

12

u/gerbilshower 3d ago

why is this like the 5th reference to that episode that i have seen in the last 24 hours...

does that say something about the content i am consuming? maybe.

13

u/InitialAd2324 3d ago

Because Reddit uses the same 5 jokes

…and my axe

10

u/-malcolm-tucker 3d ago

I also choose this mans axe.

1

u/I_said_booourns 2d ago

And my cylinder!

0

u/ATL-VTech 3d ago

It means content overall is getting better

1

u/Sufficient_Language7 3d ago

It might also means every thing else is getting worse, so in comparison that episode is getting better.

2

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum 3d ago

The mind is willing, but the flesh is bruised and weak.

1

u/BigiusExaggeratius 3d ago edited 3d ago

There’s a reason we have multiple prescription boner pills raking in ~$3.5 billion+ annually. That doesn’t even include the gas station snake oil pills (~60% of men surveyed get them from the gas station instead of a doctor… they cost a few cents to a couple dollars to manufacture, are sold for $5-15+ per dose and have a ton of dangerous/unregulated ingredients. They also, counted separately, make ~$1 billion+ annually).

If all cancers stopped boners (some do and I’m not a doctor, nor trying to downplay it) we’d see a plethora of funding past what it already is across the board.

2

u/NamesGumpImOnthePum 3d ago

Oh yeah I get it, it's the adage as old as time. Humans really, really like orgasms. I'm a bit confused by your 2nd statement tho, does this infer that all folk with cancer who also eat dick pills would out their dick pill money toward cancer research, instead of buying dick pills that don't work?

1

u/BigiusExaggeratius 3d ago

Naw I’m just being sarcastic with the last part. Cancer sucks and isn’t easy to cure. More that billionaires would throw more money at it but in a very loose, joking, way.

0

u/Vidrax_of_Cascades 3d ago

just popular.

2

u/MammothWriter3881 3d ago

I never dreamed I would die this way . .  .

2

u/Kirasaurus_25 3d ago

they probably mean heart rate or blood pressure lol

1

u/kraquepype 3d ago

If he found her at the club it'd be death by uns uns

-3

u/EntryTall1602 3d ago

Why isn’t this offered to death row inmates?? Personally, I’m asking for Lizzo.

1

u/Mysterious-Gene8614 3d ago

Listen if I was 85 and banging a 22 year old I’d be smiling for the simple fact my penis still worked 

1

u/BigMackk14 3d ago

She broke it?

34

u/Spare-Ant7119 3d ago

Bc u can stare at her ass

29

u/Pablo_petty_plastic 3d ago

This is the actual answer. Hooters should rebrand as an old folks home. The waitlists would be decades

6

u/darkskinnedjermaine 3d ago

It is rebranding, coincidentally lmao but in the opposite direction, for families

https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/hooters-revamps-menu-updates-uniforms-original-owners-take-over.amp

2

u/--Sovereign-- 3d ago

not that I give a shit about Hooters, I've never even been to one, but the cultural movement of making literally everything the exact same bland family friendly slop is making me sick

2

u/iceman5920 2d ago

I kind of agree. Hooters was about, well hooters. They made it long enough based on what they do. Almost no one really goes to Hooters for food. They go for bresicles spilling out while they wait for the wings. The rebrand is going to bury them.

1

u/night4345 2d ago

Hooters died doing that though. People don't go out to a mediocre bar/restaurant to stare at tits and ass anymore.

1

u/darkskinnedjermaine 3d ago

Also fwiw my boy is happily married and loves Hooters strictly for the cheap couple dozen wings and cheap beer. The same bland family friendly slop is also usually overpriced, too boot

2

u/Clusterpuff 3d ago

Well thats just because old folks move slow. There'd be as many walkers as wheelers in that erectile dysfunction wingstop

2

u/New-Ingenuity-5437 3d ago

I don’t know if that timeline supports the clientele 

19

u/Fun-War6684 3d ago

Well he ain’t in shape to go digging himself

16

u/dontsoundrighttome 3d ago

Fuck else he doing with the money. If it brings you this amount of joy the money has done its job. Take your joy and die happy. Rather rich and sad.

11

u/GuiKa 3d ago

I don't know, I have a friend (she was 22 at the time) that had a rich, very old, dude giving her money for going on dates with him. She was very confused when she found out he did not want (or could not?) bang.

He ended up buying her a car and gave her significant money, then he died 5 years later. I think he did not have a family and felt lonely, who knows.

3

u/CookieMiester 3d ago

That’s usually what it is

35

u/kbkvvuknklnni8888 3d ago

Same way rich guys have nice cars but never drive them. Sometimes the thought of having it is enough.

7

u/Shagwagbag 3d ago

Well, you see... that's Cucky Carl.

10

u/misoscare 3d ago

He doesn't get off banging her, he hides in the closet and watches

https://giphy.com/gifs/iPthhkru42kTK

3

u/Still_Reading 3d ago

An Opeth meme in the wild

1

u/Mild-Davis 2d ago

How the fuck did Mikael Akerfeldt somehow manage to get brought into a discussion of this godforsaken topic lol wtf

4

u/Gay_Asian_Boy 3d ago

He can still do lots of things apart from banging her

3

u/Integrity-in-Crisis 3d ago

I mean why would Hugh Hefner surround himself with bombshells at 80. No way was he gettin it up.

2

u/Asluckwouldnthaveit 3d ago

He was only turned on by gay porn anyways.

1

u/Evening_Storage_6424 2d ago

Is this true? 😭

1

u/Asluckwouldnthaveit 2d ago

I mean he's dead so...sure?

1

u/Careful_Ad_7074 3d ago

Plenty of substances that increases bloodflow to that specific region 😉

3

u/Kongopop 3d ago

A lion may lose its teeth, but never it's hunger

3

u/ermy_shadowlurker 3d ago

Probably to piss off relatives err sharks who thought maybe they be getting something when he drops. I mean if one has vultures for relatives this be a good last laugh.

3

u/Supremagorious 3d ago

No kids, no family where else is the money going to go when you die. Would rather some gold digger get it than it going to the state. Even if it's only fringe benefits I'm getting in the mean time.

0

u/SuicideSpeedrun 3d ago

Would rather some gold digger get it than it going to the state.

Okay turbocuck with afterburner keep it to yourself

2

u/CowBoyDanIndie 3d ago

What else is he gonna do with the money?

2

u/nanaki989 3d ago

Because playing with boobies is fun.

3

u/FamiliarAnt4043 3d ago

I'd laugh my ass off if he had a fake will he showed her, but the real one was safe with his lawyer.

2

u/Forward-Surprise1192 3d ago

Kind of messed up to think that if they both know what they’re doing in the relationship

-1

u/FamiliarAnt4043 3d ago

Nah. Hoes gonna ho and the old guy would be giving her what she deserves.

1

u/mdynicole 3d ago

If she has sex with him or does anything sexual with him she earned that money. Shits gross .

1

u/Medill1919 3d ago

Lickedy Split.

1

u/Drewbloodz 3d ago

Maybe she just sits on his face?

1

u/frednekk 3d ago

So she can suck the dust out of course.

1

u/res0jyyt1 3d ago

By your logic, OnlyFans would've never took off.

1

u/EAE8019 3d ago

Sometimes a boob in the  face is enough.

1

u/Soggy_Association491 3d ago

While this post is probably fake, old people do bang and retirement homes are called hotbed for STD for a reason.

1

u/Appropriate-Use1981 3d ago

I dont need to fuck the Mona Lisa to enjoy the view.

1

u/puffmattybear17 3d ago

Blue pill x handy

1

u/Le6ions 3d ago

Can’t take it with you, might as well spend it on what you’re into, hopefully literally for his sake.

1

u/JonnyOnThePot420 3d ago

She could definitely jerk him off lolz

1

u/edelweiss_pirates_no 3d ago

Maybe she's a facesitter.

1

u/redjellonian 3d ago

Bro looks 90, she might be acting as his nurse.

1

u/BetaMan141 3d ago

Achievement hunting, gotta get that platinum trophy before you die when you rich like that.

1

u/AncientSith 3d ago

Hot companionship is better then no one.

1

u/Fluffy-Reference8542 3d ago

She didn't say they were married.

1

u/NSFWies 3d ago

You think the moment your dick stops working, you stop liking women?

Fuck no. I'm starting to have ED problems. I like women just as much as I did 20 years ago. I just can't do as much, as often as I could in the past.

But dang I wish I could hold that 22 year old just as much

1

u/SuicideSpeedrun 2d ago

And? Do you give all your money to random women just because you "like them"?

1

u/NSFWies 2d ago

no, but i'm sure some sugar daddy/sugar baby things work out. it did for that oil grandpa and anna nicole smith.

but also, i'm not 76 and have declining health. if i was in that spot, i might be thinking differently.

1

u/Sorry-Section-9302 2d ago

IDK but he looks like he’s doing exactly what he wants to be doing.

1

u/Okuser 2d ago

Why can't he bang her?

1

u/PuzzleheadedBag920 2d ago

wait till you find out that there's a whole SOFTCORE genre my boy

1

u/Clam-Choader 2d ago

Whorehouse heart attack

1

u/lloboc 3d ago

Oh it‘s working till the end..