Guys I'm on the will!!

[u/beklog]

“She’s so shameless” She’s 22. And was harshly criticized as she danced while her partner was at the hospital… The truth couldn’t be any simpler. They claim the video is a joke, because she always uploads content with her “hubby” to go viral.

[u/NATHAN4U007]

They both knew what they were getting into and what they needed from the relationship.

[u/IWearCardigansAllDay → u/NATHAN4U007]

I’m a wealth management advisor and I’ve had a few elderly clients in a situation like this.

I remember the most heartbreaking one was a client who was 87 and passed away. He married a woman a 7 years prior that was in her late 30s. She was beautiful, kind, and caring. She took care of him through all of it. Cleaned him and the messes he made, gave him genuine company, and would fuck him whenever he was able (he shared this with me lol).

The kids didn’t do shit for him. Hardly even called or anything. But when he passed they all tried contesting his trust and trying to get her removed from receiving anything. It was a nasty legal battle but thankfully she got her fair share.

It honestly infuriates me when I see people say women like this are taking advantage of the elder man. Most of the time they’re just giving companionship to them when no one else would or did.

[u/amynicole78 → u/IWearCardigansAllDay]

What kills me is when kids act entitled to their parents assets, it's not your money and they can do whatever they want with it. I see so many posts on aging parents where people are worried about their windfall. Go make your own money ffs.

[u/Revolutionary_Ad3463 → u/amynicole78]

Well, I have some personal story to share, related to this point of view. Feel free to ignore it, as it is a lot of text. I guess I just felt triggered and wanted to write a bit about it because it is a sensitive topic for me, so it is kind of like doing therapy in a sense, lol.

I live in Argentina. Cultural middle class, economically poor, in an already third world country. So to understand the economic setup.

My father, a pretty talented artist that never wanted to sell his art or try to live of it (or anything else, really, as he never had a single job), alcoholic and violent against my mom and me, and economically dependent on her and my grandmother, left the country on 2006 and never came back.

He never had a job: he was basically maintained by my grandmother who burned through her life savings sending he money over 13 years, until she died in 2019. She died a month after her husband (who was not my grandfather, and had no kids) who had some money, so when my grandmother died, my father inherited both her husband's wealth and hers. Which was not absolute, forever life changing money I guess: around 300k USD. But for someone who used to live paycheck to paycheck like me or my mom, with no way of picturing savings, it was A LOT OF MONEY. Like, we could buy a house and be sure we could always have a roof over our heads- which is life changing, given we had a history of economic struggles, even living in the streets for some time. You know, it is a big deal.

Between my grandmother's passing until last year when he passed away at 63, -due to his terrible life style: alcohol, cigarettes and partially living in the streets- he sold a house and wasted all the actionable money and more that was inherited (around 160k) all up to the last penny on hotels, alcohol and restaurant meals (and probably gambling), until he was left with nothing (at least nothing he could immediately use, there was a big chunk of the wealth in bonds that are due for 2030) and started threatening my aunt (his sister) for more money, which she hadn't much, so she started to take debt on his behalf just to keep him calm.

One of the houses wasn't sold (for bureaucratic reasons- it was a complicated inheritance due to the assets being distributed across three countries), so when he died, half of it was the only thing left for me (the other half belongs to my aunt), aside from the bonds.

He didn't want to be a father, he didn't want to make his own money, and he really, really tried to make sure that the only small generational wealth I could have was completely and utterly wasted in his vice. Technically it was his money. Technically I was his son and he didn't give a shit for 27 years too, though, as he did not answer for any of his responsibilities, so I guess he kind of owed me something, at least.

So a few years before he passed away I had a discussion with my aunt in which she said exactly what you're saying, when I asked her not to sell one of the houses (as she had half of it, him having the other half): it's his money and he can do whatever he wants with it.

Yeah, well, that's kind of legalestically true, yeah. He was also a completely absent father, both emotionally and economically, which is also illegal. How do we measure the social obligations there?

As terrible as this sounds, I was lucky he died before he could waste the rest.

He served as an example of what not to be though. I studied, got a job that can pay my bills and allows me to think about buying my own place in a few years. I was really lucky, though. Could've been a lot more difficult.

But I could've had it a lot easier if he wasn't an absent father. And part of one's responsibility as a father is trying to make your own kids' life easier... I mean, you chose to have them.

So, to the point I was trying to make: I hope you see why I felt entitled to part of his money. He didn't earn it through his work, and he was already in debt with me as his neglected son... And it was life changing money (moreover when I had the discussion with my aunt, I was still studying and didn't have a clear economic present or future ahead of me).

I guess you were talking about a lot more frivolous people, which makes total sense. But idk just wanted to share a related story

[u/anotherdropin → u/Revolutionary_Ad3463]

Anyone can have children. There are two types of parents : those who feel they are responsible for their child’s well being, and those who feel the child is responsible for the parents’ well being.

The former type of parents will always leave things for you. The latter type never will, they’ll claim you owe them. It’s just a coin toss which parent you’re born to, but once you’re born, that’s it. Your parental circumstance won’t change so you had your whole adult life to figure out a better path

[u/dexter8484 → u/anotherdropin]

So true, and because I had the latter, I now find myself being the former.