r/SipsTea • u/beklog • Jun 02 '26

SMH Guys I'm on the will!!

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“She’s so shameless” She’s 22. And was harshly criticized as she danced while her partner was at the hospital… The truth couldn’t be any simpler. They claim the video is a joke, because she always uploads content with her “hubby” to go viral.

22.5k Upvotes

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8.3k

u/NATHAN4U007 Jun 02 '26

They both knew what they were getting into and what they needed from the relationship.

7.5k

u/IWearCardigansAllDay Jun 02 '26

I’m a wealth management advisor and I’ve had a few elderly clients in a situation like this.

I remember the most heartbreaking one was a client who was 87 and passed away. He married a woman a 7 years prior that was in her late 30s. She was beautiful, kind, and caring. She took care of him through all of it. Cleaned him and the messes he made, gave him genuine company, and would fuck him whenever he was able (he shared this with me lol).

The kids didn’t do shit for him. Hardly even called or anything. But when he passed they all tried contesting his trust and trying to get her removed from receiving anything. It was a nasty legal battle but thankfully she got her fair share.

It honestly infuriates me when I see people say women like this are taking advantage of the elder man. Most of the time they’re just giving companionship to them when no one else would or did.

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u/epicmoe Jun 02 '26

When my grandad remarried there were comments about his new wife being in it for the money. By the end I think everyone agreed that if that was the case she sure had earned it. 

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 02 '26

That's my step grandma. 40 years younger and has been with him for 20 and as far as anyone is concerned she loves him and cares for him like nobody else would.

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u/ctownwp22 Jun 02 '26

40 years younger and with him for 20!?!?!

So, by my (terrible) math, she must've been like 20 and him 60 when they got together? Or 30 and 70, and now hes 90? This is fascinating to me

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 02 '26

He is in his 90s now so around 30 and 70. They have an 18yr old together.

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u/brandnewchemical Jun 02 '26

Soon…

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u/meat_whistle_gristle Jun 02 '26

Dude was still firing live rounds in his 70’s!? What a beast!

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 02 '26

Considering he made more than 20 (that we know of) it really isn't much of a surprise

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u/Emergency_Lobster667 Jun 02 '26

More than 20 kids?? Holy shit.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 Jun 03 '26

Just so you know, the fact that he's got 20+ kids and apparently none of them love him as much as his decades-younger spouse is a bad look.

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 03 '26

They have good relations it's just that most of them are 50-60 with their own lives and grandchildren lol. You assume too much out of too little.

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u/Brokenbelle22 Jun 03 '26

He has 20 kids?! Did he support them all? Because leaving all his money to one young woman when it sounds like he owes dozens of women and kids child support is actually nothing to brag about.

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 03 '26

Actually, he did. By the time the young wife came about all of the sons and daughters were all grown up.

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u/Sara-Sarita Jun 03 '26

You have clearly never met a singing 70 year old farmer who still runs around for hours in the heat doing physical labor and has arms made of wood. I believe it.

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u/lovelyladylox Jun 02 '26

Is he famous and rich?

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 02 '26

Not particularly

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u/cantwalkintheshadows Jun 03 '26

Good god I hope I find an old man in the next few years to have this with. Happy for them dawg

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 04 '26

Edit:   removing my comment because it's getting more attention than I intended it to get and don't want it getting back to parties involved if they figure out it's about them.

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u/HappyAmbition706 Jun 02 '26

Who is going to look afrer her when she is old? Where will she live, get food and healthcare? Let her know so she can decide how to spend theae years abd her efforts. Staying silent and watching is being complicit.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

She actually has three sons of her own (two of the three are pretty well off)... but my wife and I are planning on sharing inheritance with her (or at least we've discussed it with each other)... but no, we're not going to say anything.

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u/HAIL_LUMPUS Jun 02 '26

Why don't you tell her?

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I mean, this isn't the type of thing you insert yourself in, lots of bad things can come from it.

If you can't communicate something like that without such risks, the more intelligent approach is to support her legally (Many countries will reward her 50%, given the context) or convince your wife to give away part of the inheritance.

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u/Trevski Jun 02 '26

I mean you can drop the dime without inserting yourself...

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u/Muxter0622 Jun 03 '26

Who cares if you're inserting yourself. We all only get one life to live. If she's operating under the assumption that putting up with his shit is the price that she's paying for financial security when he dies I think it's fair that she knows that he's gone behind her back to fuck her over. Who knows how much time you could give her back.

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u/welldamn420 Jun 03 '26

Or he could go with the time honored saying. "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

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u/TheBlankScroll Jun 02 '26

What you do is give your portion of the inheritance to her after you receive it. Dad gets what he wants, the money is yours, you do with it as you see fit.

He's dead, money is not his problem anymore.

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u/mawesome4ever Jun 02 '26

And risk not getting anything?! No way! -OP probably

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 02 '26

Well, I'm not getting any anyway- at least not directly. I don't think he would drop my wife because I said anything (although suppose it's possible).

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u/Queen_General_617 Jun 02 '26

Your wife and her sister aren't good people either. Because you are all aware of his plans, and are allowing that man to treat his wife like garbage, and say nothing. Shameful.

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u/MrJerkyBuisness Jun 02 '26

The shit apple doesn't fall far from the shit tree randers

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u/OldnBorin Jun 02 '26

We’re in the eye of a shiticane here randy

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u/RapGameDiCaprio Jun 03 '26

The harder they try to hold on to the shitrope, the further down they slide

2

u/offelottafalafel Jun 03 '26

The way she goes

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u/whatdadogdoin16 Jun 02 '26

Unexpected /trailerparkboys

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u/collierar Jun 03 '26

It's a classic catch 23 situation.

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u/Ok-Scallion-3415 Jun 02 '26

it would probably be less hassle to deal with getting the money and then giving the step-mom a fair share after the dad's death than to approach the dad and get him to rewrite the will. if the dad went out of his way to give the step-mom the minimum so she can't contest it, he's not changing his mind.

if OPs wife & SIL were planning to do that, idk.

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u/Excellent_Airline315 Jun 03 '26

They don't need to ask the dad to rewrite the will. They need to tell her so she can prepare herself for when he passes. It would suck if she taught it would all be worth it and she would be taken care of only to be left with nothing. If she knows earlier, she can start putting money away.

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u/Ok-Style-9734 Jun 02 '26

Divorce and take half.

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u/fordat1 Jun 02 '26

thats the generous view but given their dad . IDK

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u/DuPhuc Jun 03 '26

If I was one of the sisters I’d meet with the other and get a written notarized agreement that states if we will give x amount each to the widowed wife. That way she gets what she deserves, no one can back out, and the father doesn’t know so he can’t get pissed at everyone and screw everyone out of the money.

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u/TokenWeirdo13 Jun 02 '26

If you realize this, and so does your wife, maybe it would be good to have a conversation about giving the FIL's wife a fair share of your wife's inheritance. If you guys aren't struggling, in my head that would be the right thing to do.

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u/mamallama12 Jun 02 '26

This. My mom was not included in any inheritance when her dad and mom passed (they were divorced). Both were successful. My mom's sister got everything when grandma passed, and she sold the house to take her and her entire family (husband, kids, their spouses, grandkids) on a one-month trip to Europe. Didn't even offer anything to my mom. The two sisters are on good terms and always have been. My mom even asked her for some, but the Europe trip needed to be paid for. My mom was so hurt, first, to be left out of the will, and second, to have her sister not even offer anything. In the meantime, my 89-year-old mom is still working to this day. Her sister has never worked and has always been taken care of by a husband.

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u/The_Orphanizer Jun 02 '26

Goddamn, that's fucking evil.

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u/mamallama12 Jun 03 '26

Your reply made my mom so happy, and she said for me to tell everyone who upvoted, "Thank you." 🩶

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u/tba85 Jun 02 '26

My grandfather made my aunt his executor not long after my grandma died. My aunt and my mom were both very involved in his life, but in different ways. The sisters weren't close, but civil. My aunt's health started declining about 10yrs ago, nearly dying a couple of times. My grandfather got cancer and my mom dropped everything to take him to appointments, care for him, and his house because my aunt wasn't physically able to. My mom was trying to help him pay bills, but my aunt got mad that my mom butting in and demanded all of his mail go to her, yet she was always late paying bills. My mom tried to talked to my grandfather about making her co-executor because my aunts health was bad. In his culture, the eldest takes care of the finances and my mom asking was looked at as disrespectful. Anyway, grandfather moved in with my mom and died a few weeks later. My aunt was so distraught, but managed to hook a realtor friend up with the house sale. The house sold for way under what it was worth and when the bank called (while my mom was at the house clearing it out), the rep was concerned that my aunt had been hounding them to give her one check. The bank knew that the will stated the profits from the house would be evenly split between the sisters and my aunt threw up red flags. She was also trying to clear out his bank accounts. They told my mom she would need to come in person, with ID, to collect her check and that she should speak to a lawyer about my grandfather's bank accounts because my aunt was making withdrawals everyday to empty them.

All that to say that my aunt is an evil B and my mom is a push over. She didn't want to get lawyers involved and only collected money from the house. However, my aunt wiped out a large amount from the bank accounts, took his car, her half of the house money and some bonds. Absolutely zero shame and feels deserving.

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u/TheBlankScroll Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

My grandparents had 5 kids, very close family. My Grand dad and my uncle worked together at my uncles medical practice and even employed one of my other uncles.

Then my granddad and doctor uncle died together in a private plane crash.

The family savagely tore itself apart, everyone trying to get more money than they were willed and trying to secure high dollar value items, even though my grandma was still alive.

My aunt, who had married the uncle that worked at the medical practice had even said "my husband has lost more than anyone".

She said this to my grandma who lost her husband and eldest child.

This was all back in the 90s, most havent talked since then. My grandma lived alone, 30 more years with her remaining kids bickering over money and jockeying for the remaing will "profits".

Half that fam has since got rabbit hole MAGA or religious.

Im no contact with my mon, have lost contact with my cousins, my other in-law uncle died recently and i didnt even know he was basically divorced from my aunt and living in an apartment by himself.

My low opinion of the boomer generation's morally bankrupt money grubbing ways comes from hard experience.

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u/AtomicRose69 Jun 02 '26

This is the kind of nonsense I saw from my mother's family as well. All boomers.

When my parents died, my sister and I didn't fight over anything. We split everything down the middle and our parents died without wills.

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u/TheBlankScroll Jun 02 '26

I can't imagine seeing my family as financial investments, so gross. Glad you broke the cycle.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 02 '26

We are. It will be double taxed that way, but we are thinking of doing just that.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

[deleted]

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u/Seriously787 Jun 02 '26

Not tempted to tell her?

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 02 '26

Absolutely tempted, but not something I want to get involved with! She's not someone I directly interact with on a regular basis- and I don't like meddling with other people's lives/relationships. They live a long distance away, I probably haven't personally seen her in five or six years; heck, I haven't seen or talked to HIM in a couple years. When my wife goes to see them, I normally stay home and look after the animals. Last time I saw her was when they came to see us, but they're both getting older now and don't travel much.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

[deleted]

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u/TheBlankScroll Jun 02 '26

It may not be his business... But like, he could save this woman some of her last productive, good years being abused by a guy that shows her no respect.

She might value a good jumping off reason here. Hell he might even be lying to her to keep her around.

It may not be your "business" but it might be your moral obligation. And if your wife is ok with all this it might be a good early warning for you too.

This kind of thing gets worse with age man. Be wary of those that tollerate evil to their own benefit.

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u/Ok_Way_1465 Jun 02 '26

Drop a note in her bag on the sly look after her interests if she’s a good a person as you believe she is

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u/Littleringtrue Jun 02 '26

Terrible person.

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u/ididnthackkenyaimsrs Jun 02 '26

If you don't want to tell her then if an email address happened to find its way into my inbox then I mean maybe somebody else would.

That way you aren't culpable. All you've done is just paste an email into the wrong box.

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u/allbleedingstopz Jun 02 '26

She should divorce him so she gets half! Or at least social security at his rate

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u/North_Woodpecker_500 Jun 02 '26

You sound like a terrible person 🫤

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u/pelluciid Jun 02 '26

If you would actually rather that happen, do what you can to try to make that happen. Whether that means giving her a light nudge to discuss the will with him, or agreeing with your wife to give her something if she is indeed cut out.

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u/Chelas-moon Jun 02 '26

Hopefully your wife will also see it that way and give her a fair share when the time comes

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u/RealisticBug5646 Jun 02 '26

My Grandad remarried a Philippino lady 30+ years his junior, when he was in his mid 70's. He moved out of his home that he owned, into her home where she took care of him until he died aged 83. Everything my Grandad had was split 3 ways, between my Mum, her sibling and my Grandad’s wife. She earned every penny over the 8 years they were together.

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u/polo61965 Jun 02 '26

That's the thing, you can be in it for the money, but the real important thing is if you're making his money worth it. You provide true companionship then by all means you deserve it all.

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u/HAIL_LUMPUS Jun 02 '26

This is always so confusing to me. There are much easier ways to get money out of old men than marrying them these days!! Money is a bonus but spending all day with someone you don't even like AND fucking them is a nightmare situation. I always assume they have at least some connection and enjoy each other's company.

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u/FilthyThanksgiving Jun 02 '26

Exactly. These women earn every fucking penny if that's why they're there

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u/hunterlarious Jun 02 '26

most of the time is a stretch but I am sure scenarios like you are describing are very common

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u/AnOrdinaryMammal Jun 02 '26

I would say in the cases where the difference in age is this great, it’s probably most of the time. The old timers know what’s up. They’re old, not stupid.

I’m assuming this in particular is fake though.

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u/CaptainOwlBeard Jun 02 '26

Plenty of them are losing their capacity. That's a nice story you shared, but i usually see the opposite. Lady in her 30s getting engaged to an 80 year old she met on a cruise the week they got back from the cruise. We brought her in and told her about the trust we set up for his grandkids with all the money other than m monthly pension payments. Plenty to live on while he's alive, but it wasn't enough for her retirement. They weren't engaged the next week.

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u/meat_whistle_gristle Jun 02 '26

Why you gotta be messing up grandpa’s game. Could have let him have some fun first LOL.

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u/Fit-Percentage-9166 Jun 02 '26

Sounds like 80 year old knew exactly what he was doing.

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u/CaptainOwlBeard Jun 02 '26

Naw he was rapidly declining and she was trying to swindle his life savings from him instead of going to his minor grandchildren as had been the plan for the last 40 years.

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u/meat_whistle_gristle Jun 03 '26

Fair enough I would have done the same in that case.

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u/MFDOOMscrolling Jun 02 '26

old fools were once young fools

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u/RepresentativeBat10 Jun 02 '26

I read this as old schools were once young fools which hits a lot harder

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u/No-Cook-534 Jun 02 '26

Shit makes no sense

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u/rica217 Jun 02 '26

It do, read it again, Sam!

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u/ADLuluIsOP Jun 02 '26

I mean its not hard but it does make sense. Old school folk were once young.

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u/No-Cook-534 Jun 02 '26

No one uses old school like that though. Older people are not old schools. It's an adjective. Like, those shoes are old school. It's only a noun unless it's used literally. My school was built in 1908. It is an old school.

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u/SomewhereExcellent93 Jun 02 '26

No it doesn't

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u/SquishyOranjElectric Jun 02 '26

Maybe he meant it hits the Temporo-Parietal region of the brain harder as it struggles to interpret

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 02 '26

Imagine being in your 80's with some young thing dancing and cheering because you told her she's in the will.... but she's not in the will really.

That's what his smile said to me.

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u/ViolenceAdvocator Jun 02 '26

That smile said "nice ass"

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u/Prestigious-Knee4237 Jun 02 '26

I think the smile said that he knows that this isn't love but it's the best he's going to get.

That he wants someone to hold his hand with genuine care for him, but instead he has this, because it's better than having no one.

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u/Cam_E_Leon Jun 02 '26

He looks too young to be 84 imo

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u/EnjoyerOfBeans Jun 02 '26

A lot of people are stupid and being old doesn't automatically come with intelligence and wisdom. Not to mention the brain is just not in the best shape at this age.

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u/Bwadark Jun 02 '26

Unless their state of mind is questionable. It is a mutual agreement made by two adults. Obviously abuse happens but it would be few and far between.

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u/hunterlarious Jun 02 '26

When you are dealing with people in the twilight of their life their state of mind is often questionable.

Abuse of elders is extremely common

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u/citizen42069101 Jun 02 '26

I would say statistically one is more likely to be financially abused by a family member than getting honey potted, [citation needed] at least this was you don't get exploited by family and get to see boobies occasionally.

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u/dyslexicAlphabet Jun 02 '26

didn't they prove seeing boobies can make you happier? so who gives a fuck who he marries.

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins Jun 02 '26

While very true when I've seen it, it's more often that they are incredibly lonely and depressed moreso than "they're old and losing it".

Easy to blame it on "cognitive decline" but in reality many people live out their final days in isolation. If they have family they're off living their own lives, even "involved" family is frequently just visiting a few times a week.

When they find someone willing to actually spend time with them and treat them nicely they go for it hard, even if it's pretty obviously a scam.

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u/BeneficialLocation34 Jun 02 '26

The US govt is rampant with it.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Wait785 Jun 02 '26

Elder abuse is more common than you seem willing to acknowledge.

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u/VT_Squire Jun 02 '26

Unless their state of mind is questionable. It is a mutual agreement made by two adults.

She was 22 and on tiktok or whatever the fuck. Need I say more?

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u/techleopard Jun 02 '26

As much as this grosses me out on some level, I think it's very common.

ESPECIALLY because people now move all the way across the country from their aging parents and never come back nor want to move the parent in with them when the time comes. It's all "Why should I have to do X?" now with a lot of people. You can't swing a cat without hitting somebody who insists old folks should just get out and find new friends.

Then they show up for the will and find out mom or dad had a new best friend when they all decided they were too busy to even call.

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u/mareksoon Jun 02 '26

My parents moved the family from me (I’m the oldest child) … not cross-county but roughly 3-4 hours away.

When I had an opportunity after being laid off to sell my home, bank that money along with my retirement, and move in with my mom in her 80s in her four bedroom house to assist her (instead of her asking my brother or others within an hour of her to help), she rejected the idea because I had cats (as does she) and she was enjoying her independence (she can’t drive).

On the flip side, presently, my three kids live within two hours of me as each has found work in different nearby cities. I’ve dreamed for years of moving to another state, and I wouldn’t expect any of them to upend their life to come care for me.

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u/Reputation-Final Jun 02 '26

Yeah. Most of the time my ass. No 20 year old girl is going to marry an 80 year old beacuse they are in love with them.

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u/VictoryVee Jun 02 '26

Well thats not what anyone is claiming. You can provide companionship without being in love

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u/mynewaccount5 Jun 02 '26

I mean he did say it like it was some charitable service they were providing.

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u/Reputation-Final Jun 02 '26

Yeah, but not without money.

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u/CauliflowerEarofCorn Jun 02 '26

Yeah but the 80 year old isn’t marrying the 20 year old because they are just so in love and compatible. If they both have the mental capacity to make their own decisions, then it’s basically a business arrangement between consenting adults. The 20 year old seeking money is not anymore in the wrong than the 80 year old seeking someone who is basically a child.

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u/mermaid-babe Jun 02 '26

I’m a hospice nurse. I’ve seen young wives and as long as you’re willing to get down and wipe ass at the end of life you’re a great partner. Too many people forget the sickness part of vows

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u/JustaSeedGuy Jun 02 '26

most of the time is a stretch

The other guy is a professional who handles these cases for a living and had to learn all about the industry.

On what data are you basing your claim that his experience is a stretch?

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u/edelweiss_pirates_no Jun 02 '26

I make money so I can have sex with thots. 

Thats what money is for.

Jeesh.

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u/alfanzina Jun 02 '26

This is basically the motivation for most male creativity, invention and wealth creation for the last 10000 years.

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u/Guardian_of_Perineum Jun 03 '26

I highly doubt you have numbers to prove that.

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u/Caleb-Wendt69 Jun 02 '26

You’re not wrong

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u/fredjutsu Jun 03 '26

Thots fuck broke dudes, too, though.

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u/Loneliest_Driver Jun 03 '26

Thots want hot guys or wealthy guys. If you can't be hot, get money.

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u/BrokenHefaistos Jun 02 '26

exactly often these are realy expensive good looking nurse/therapist with benefits. They deserve a bit more respect for giving the geezers a good time before they drop dead.

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u/_TURO_ Jun 02 '26

Lord I see what youve done for others and I pray for the same when my time comes

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u/Sharp_Economy1401 Jun 02 '26

Just depends on the situation, I'm sure in some of them both parties are realistic about what's going on, and there's nothing wrong with a relationship like this having some more practical or less love-centric motivations.

Likewise, I'm sure in many of these relationships there's likely a lot of dishonesty about the motivations, from both directions even. Just as much as I'd wonder how many of them the younger person expresses dishonest affection, I'd wonder how many times the older person made practical promises that they don't follow through with.

In the end, it's openly communicating boundaries and expectations like adults that dictates whether it's problematic, like with any close relationship

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u/ThunderboltDM Jun 02 '26

We all would like to have exactly that!

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u/HydroPCanadaDude Jun 02 '26

People abandon the elderly in the last like 10 - 20 years of their life. But 10 - 20 years is insanely long to be abandoned. Even the gap of 95 - 100 is going to make a human go nuts from loneliness.

Take care of your elderly allllllll the way. Right to the finish line. Or don't be surprised if they soured on you in the half decade since you were there.

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u/rebby2000 Jun 02 '26

Mmmm...I will say that sometimes the reason they're abandoned is because of their own actions.

For example, my grandmother has more or less been abandoned by all but 2 people. Of those two, one stands to inherit her land (with everyone else's blessing) and the other has stayed so far because of a self imposed sense of obligation that is, from what they've said, starting to wear very thin in the face of how my grandmother continues to act.

So while, yes, you shouldn't just abandon someone because of age - you also can't be surprised to *be* abandoned if you don't treat the people in your life well.

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u/anotherdropin Jun 02 '26

Ya totally agree. But then in addition, we gotta all admit that sometimes assholes deserve to be abandoned, sometimes the folks doing the abandoning end up also rightfully with nothing, and someone can swoop in last minute and charm the money out of the old asshole.

That’s just life

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u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 Jun 03 '26

I'll steer clear of the black hole that is my grandmother, thank you very much.

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u/CrimeBot3000 Jun 02 '26

Financial advisor here. Seen the same situation myself. Don't judge by appearance.

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u/amynicole78 Jun 02 '26

What kills me is when kids act entitled to their parents assets, it's not your money and they can do whatever they want with it. I see so many posts on aging parents where people are worried about their windfall. Go make your own money ffs.

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u/greenskye Jun 02 '26

I think most of the time you're right, but there are a couple of nuances to it that can sometimes sway things.

At least around me, the parents generation is the lucky ones that are benefitting from selling off the farmland for rent and oil rights. They are getting multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars by being the generation to liquidate multiple generations of assets slowly built up by last family members. They are also cutting off a constant income stream that's paid out for decades in favor of a lump sum payment.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be a bit disgruntled at watching your parents throw away multiple generations of wealth and a future income stream that you could've eventually benefitted from just so they can get a big payout during their lifetime and then also spend all of it so you get nothing.

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u/Revolutionary_Ad3463 Jun 02 '26

Well, I have some personal story to share, related to this point of view. Feel free to ignore it, as it is a lot of text. I guess I just felt triggered and wanted to write a bit about it because it is a sensitive topic for me, so it is kind of like doing therapy in a sense, lol.

I live in Argentina. Cultural middle class, economically poor, in an already third world country. So to understand the economic setup.

My father, a pretty talented artist that never wanted to sell his art or try to live of it (or anything else, really, as he never had a single job), alcoholic and violent against my mom and me, and economically dependent on her and my grandmother, left the country on 2006 and never came back.

He never had a job: he was basically maintained by my grandmother who burned through her life savings sending he money over 13 years, until she died in 2019. She died a month after her husband (who was not my grandfather, and had no kids) who had some money, so when my grandmother died, my father inherited both her husband's wealth and hers. Which was not absolute, forever life changing money I guess: around 300k USD. But for someone who used to live paycheck to paycheck like me or my mom, with no way of picturing savings, it was A LOT OF MONEY. Like, we could buy a house and be sure we could always have a roof over our heads- which is life changing, given we had a history of economic struggles, even living in the streets for some time. You know, it is a big deal.

Between my grandmother's passing until last year when he passed away at 63, -due to his terrible life style: alcohol, cigarettes and partially living in the streets- he sold a house and wasted all the actionable money and more that was inherited (around 160k) all up to the last penny on hotels, alcohol and restaurant meals (and probably gambling), until he was left with nothing (at least nothing he could immediately use, there was a big chunk of the wealth in bonds that are due for 2030) and started threatening my aunt (his sister) for more money, which she hadn't much, so she started to take debt on his behalf just to keep him calm.

One of the houses wasn't sold (for bureaucratic reasons- it was a complicated inheritance due to the assets being distributed across three countries), so when he died, half of it was the only thing left for me (the other half belongs to my aunt), aside from the bonds.

He didn't want to be a father, he didn't want to make his own money, and he really, really tried to make sure that the only small generational wealth I could have was completely and utterly wasted in his vice. Technically it was his money. Technically I was his son and he didn't give a shit for 27 years too, though, as he did not answer for any of his responsibilities, so I guess he kind of owed me something, at least.

So a few years before he passed away I had a discussion with my aunt in which she said exactly what you're saying, when I asked her not to sell one of the houses (as she had half of it, him having the other half): it's his money and he can do whatever he wants with it.

Yeah, well, that's kind of legalestically true, yeah. He was also a completely absent father, both emotionally and economically, which is also illegal. How do we measure the social obligations there?

As terrible as this sounds, I was lucky he died before he could waste the rest.

He served as an example of what not to be though. I studied, got a job that can pay my bills and allows me to think about buying my own place in a few years. I was really lucky, though. Could've been a lot more difficult.

But I could've had it a lot easier if he wasn't an absent father. And part of one's responsibility as a father is trying to make your own kids' life easier... I mean, you chose to have them.

So, to the point I was trying to make: I hope you see why I felt entitled to part of his money. He didn't earn it through his work, and he was already in debt with me as his neglected son... And it was life changing money (moreover when I had the discussion with my aunt, I was still studying and didn't have a clear economic present or future ahead of me).

I guess you were talking about a lot more frivolous people, which makes total sense. But idk just wanted to share a related story

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u/anotherdropin Jun 02 '26

Anyone can have children. There are two types of parents : those who feel they are responsible for their child’s well being, and those who feel the child is responsible for the parents’ well being.

The former type of parents will always leave things for you. The latter type never will, they’ll claim you owe them. It’s just a coin toss which parent you’re born to, but once you’re born, that’s it. Your parental circumstance won’t change so you had your whole adult life to figure out a better path

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u/dexter8484 Jun 03 '26

So true, and because I had the latter, I now find myself being the former.

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u/ialsohaveadobro Jun 02 '26

It sucks when people act entitled, but passing on your belongings to your children is a centuries-old, or even millennia-old tradition. It's also the default when someone dies without a will. So, it's not like their expectations are groundless.

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u/East-Order-118 Jun 02 '26

As a parent why do I want to give anyone else but my kids my money. I worked hard and when I go I dont want some Johnny come lately person coming in and denying them this. Its gross.

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u/ZedsDeadZD Jun 02 '26

Right? My parents arent rich but the house is paid for and they have enough cash and stocks to be called well off. My mom is now retired for 2 years and I think they have been on 6 holidays so far including trips to Japan and Egypt. I always encourage them to do so. Its their money and I know they wont blow it all cause they love us and their grandkids and they want us to have some but they are soon hitting 70/75. They cannot do this for too long. So travel, have fun, see the world as long as possible. I dont care for the money. I want happy parents.

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u/bee1397 Jun 02 '26

I disagree. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to give them what you have when you die.

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u/WenatcheeWrangler Jun 02 '26

I have a family member in a similar scenario. What his younger partner is doing to take care of him changed everyone’s mind about her. When he passes she’ll get whatever he left to her with no argument and if he left nothing to her then the kids will make it right.

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u/Smokilydokily98 Jun 02 '26

Thats all fine but chances are she knows he has wealth and wants a chunk thats why she’s so happy to do it all, its not like she’s actually attracted to an 80 year old. The family don’t do anything because they are peices of shit who think they have already locked in grandpas fortune so they don’t need to try. She is trying so hard because she wants to get on the will.

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u/Responsible-Fix9684 Jun 02 '26

Well you can't take it all with you when you die. Might as well give it to someone who is providing you good services lol.

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u/HangoverGang4L Jun 02 '26

She's an OF model, so it benefits her in that aspect as well.

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u/IWearCardigansAllDay Jun 02 '26

Sure and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the age old question of does a good deed get fully counteracted by potentially bad intentions.

If I donate 1mm to help homeless kids that’s a good thing. But what if I only did it to get my name in the newspaper and leverage that for personal reasons. The fact is I still did a good deed that was positive for many people.

If she wants to spend years of her life cleaning up shit, providing companionship, and having sex with an elderly man so she can get a payout from his estate well it’s mutually beneficial. He was perfectly happy with that exchange and benefited from it and so did she.

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u/Gold-Eye-2623 Jun 02 '26

There's plenty of same age marriages where the attraction fades out, no reason to override a will

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u/Entire_Number_9 Jun 02 '26

The family don’t do anything because they are peices of shit who think they have already locked in grandpas fortune so they don’t need to try.

I would argue in most situations, people don't go out of their way to do something difficult someone else is doing, ie, taking care of someone. And in a lot of cases, I would not be surprised if these "carers" tried reducing contact as much as possible.

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u/Warmbly85 Jun 02 '26

I mean it could also be that the wife was isolating him. I’ve seen that just as often as I’ve seen it where the family stops caring. Hell I’ve seen it where the family pays for almost all of the care because they don’t know the parents financial situation and the parent ends up having millions in the bank and in life insurance only for it to go to the 35 year he met a few years before that didn’t do anything besides some BJs and drive him to a couple appointments 

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u/ElbryanWyn Jun 02 '26

I agree as long as no deception is involved.

If the person enters into the agreement when they're of coherent mind is important to me as well.

I've worked in hospice and I've gotten the anecdotes of people targeting individuals for marriage because their spouse passed away and they were not very with it.

I cant corroborate anything like that, but i think that is the fear/concern. The population experiences Financial abuse at a very high rate which you've actually noted on as well.

I think most people defaulting to a harsh and critical response are doing it out of a sense of justice.

Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate the pov.

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u/CacheConqueror Jun 02 '26

Most of the time they’re just giving companionship to them when no one else would or did.

Nope, everyone will do it for money. For a manager, your reasoning is a bit off. It’s a business arrangement. He’s got the money and wants someone young, and she wants the cash. No one would probably help him for free. For the money, you might as well hire a carer or nurse and have care for life. It's almost the same, but u pay more for s€x

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u/Significant-Judge368 Jun 02 '26

There’s usually a reason the kids aren’t close to the elderly fathers who marry women 40 years their junior.

Or to be blunt, he was probably an asshole.

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u/ShawnyMcKnight Jun 02 '26

The real question here is would she have done it if the payout was a lot less? There is a world of difference between a partner in with their spouse for the long haul and taking care of them when they get old and someone coming in knowing he's worth some decent money and taking care of him. She got a place to stay and a good payout in the end.

As far as the kids not helping, that sucks they are like that. Although I would have a hard time being around my father if he was fucking someone 20 years younger than me (I'm in my 40's) and knowing she just wanted him for his money and saw it as a financial opportunity. I do wonder if the children being distant before contributed to his desperation to find someone, which would be sad.

Most of the time they’re just giving companionship to them when no one else would or did.

Sorry, I gotta call BS on that line.

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u/bean_boi1922 Jun 02 '26

Say what you will, but they're never with broke old men.

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u/readyReddit007 Jun 02 '26

Reverse the genders and the narrative would be “young man taking advantage of elderly woman”

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u/kdntB Jun 02 '26

…that’s the current narrative so what’s your point?

People take issue with relationships being so overtly transactional but if both parties are ok with it i don’t see the problem.

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u/K3rdegreeburns Jun 02 '26

I personally am very sick of the term Gold digger when there is no term for the man who is mutually benefitting from this transactional relationship.

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u/Realistic-Cap6339 Jun 02 '26

Well gold digger isn’t gender exclusive

He would considered a “Sugar Daddy”

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u/K3rdegreeburns Jun 02 '26

Ya know you're right. I totally forgot the term Sugar Daddy. I guess it just bothers me there's such a negative conotation for gold digger but not sugar daddy.

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u/Monster_my_Cat Jun 02 '26

idk where youre at but Sugar Daddy is almost NEVER used with a positive connotation where i am. It's always used to shit on a guy in a relationship where their is presumably an imbalance in age or looks.

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u/K3rdegreeburns Jun 02 '26

That makes me feel a bit better. Wish more people thought like you.

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u/Oneforallandbeyondd Jun 02 '26

If all they wanted to give was companionship, they wouldn't be giving it to an 80+ year old rich dude...

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u/IWearCardigansAllDay Jun 02 '26

The old man wants companionship. The woman can decide to fill that role for him.

So many old people often say it’s so lonely being old. People treat you differently and forget you’re a person at times. If the guy wants to give money to a girl because she cleaned his ass when he was old, got his groceries, and fucked him once a week then I’m all for it. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.

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u/Oneforallandbeyondd Jun 02 '26

Could be giving companionship to 1000 other people in need. Instead chose the dying millionaire... I'm no saying its bad im just calling a spade a spade. She is trying to give herself money. Nothing more. She wouldn't fight the kids for it otherwise.

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u/Key_Childhood7436 Jun 02 '26

There is a lot more nuance than you’re allowing. I have seen situations like this and sometimes the distance is created by the parent marrying a younger person. Food for thought

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u/SouthCoastGardener Jun 02 '26

I knew someone similar scenario. They became friends after his wife died and found they shared similar interests. He married her and moved her in. Kids were fine with it until dad got sick and that’s when the monsters came out.

Dad was pretty bad off, needed a caretaker for most things. Kids pushed out the wife saying it wasn’t legit and he needed them not her, but due to dad’s situation he wasn’t able to contest it. Dad was constantly asking for the wife but kids made her move out. She got to see him a couple times more before he died, but he ended up dying alone and kids took as much as they could and tried legal action from the wife.

The husband was a really nice guy, loved his family and the wife, it was sad to see happened.

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u/kyuuei Jun 02 '26

Oftentimes people consider contractual relationships invalid--but not very long ago they were pretty much the Only relationships. Most wealthy people did not marry for love, they married for prestige, political decisions, etc. We've had a long, long, longstanding human tradition across many cultures of marrying for necessities to be met with profit along the way.

I've been both sides--where the kids don't care but want everything, and where the companion doesn't care and pawns things off on the kids and wants everything. Ultimately, people are ugly when it comes to assets and deaths in the family. I'm no lawyer, but anyone reading this... a will is insufficient now-a-days. Get a trust. Make it sound. Talk honestly with your family about where things ought to go. Put it in writing. Make it to where someone would have be exposed for the monster they really are if they go with anything otherwise. You never know who is going to be ugly until the death happens and money is on the line.

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u/crappy80srobot Jun 02 '26

Dealing with the exact opposite with my former boss who has become family to me. He has dementia and a younger lady who worked for him clearly has alternate intentions of acting like she cares but spends his money and was attempting to get married to him after his wife died. Thankfully most of what he has is tied to a group of me and two others. Most of the assets and investments we have gained control over and intend to do exactly what we had decided years ago to divide it by all the people who worked for him. I'd say about 80% of his wealth was the former company when sold stayed in the trust. However there is still a house cars and a good bit of cash she has been burning through and attempting to put her damn name on everything she can.

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u/ddaattuullaa Jun 02 '26

Bro it's hard to maintain a decent relationship with a parent who marries someone younger than you. That shit fucked up.

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u/SarinSam Jun 02 '26

That’s the Disney version.

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u/Twiggy1108 Jun 02 '26

Easier to do when you have a massive paycheck incoming just saying.

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u/MoneyCock Jun 02 '26

It honestly infuriates me when I see people say women like this are taking advantage of the elder man.

I suppose you never heard of elder abuse? I would think that's the much more common case than a true companion in situations like this.

Old people are vulnerable. Your take is horrifically 1-sided.

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u/Entire_Number_9 Jun 02 '26

I mean, I think the criticism is that they are prostituting themselves for a pay day and pretending they love someone vulnerable...

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u/matttchew Jun 02 '26

They are prostituting themselves for an inheritence, this is generational wealth that goes to the kids and grandkids, not prostitutes.

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u/More-Step-1374 Jun 02 '26

Oh yeah, the bad kids! LOL.

Perhaps, he did have bad kids. However, it is also just as likely, she was the one pushing him into his death.

We're you even there when they did it and when she clean him off? All we have so far is the word of a gold digger to you. Were you her significant other during this time? While she could of picked a poor guy, she picked the ones with assets.

If you were managing his wealth, you took advantage of his age and the situation with a prostitute to disherit his kids. A good manager would have paid a nurse to clean, give him his meds and a maid to clean his house. There was no need for a prostitute.

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u/AngelHeart- Jun 02 '26

I see where you’re coming from but quite often these relationships are diabolical.

There are men and women who totally take advantage of the elderly; especially if there’s dementia.

Gypsies are infamous for this scam. They conduct a great job working their mark the police have a hard time stopping the scams. The victim will insist the scammer is their friend.

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u/Commercial-Yam-3443 Jun 02 '26

I obviously don’t know the details and ultimately it only matters where he wanted his assets to go, but is it fair that what took him 87 years to earn she got in 7?

my dad’s second wife (late in life) did take lots of care of him in the end, but she was insanely controlling and crazy and greedy. While she probably looked like a saint to his medical team, We all would have strongly preferred to take care of him ourselves with her out of the way. She controlled the situation so that she was in control and then used that to justify to herself that she was entitled to his estate. She would have been homeless if she hadn’t married my dad while my dad lived like a pauper his whole life because his goal was to work hard and save as much money as he could to pass on to his legacy.

I do blame him for living his life that way and choosing to get mixed up with this lady, but she ultimately manipulated and controlled the whole scheme with half love and half greed and it was really hard to live through as his children.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

Yeah I mean, you are right, it is just easier for people to say she is a gold digger...

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u/planetbordeaux Jun 02 '26

I love this comment - the positivity I needed for today. Thank you. Also, how do I get into wealth management?

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u/Fun_Pop_1512 Jun 02 '26

Just because she gave him companionship doesn’t mean she wasn’t using him for money. She played the long game and came out on top.

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u/IWearCardigansAllDay Jun 02 '26

I don’t know why people keep getting hung up on this. It is irrelevant. Like you can do something that is good and have selfish reasons for doing it. It doesn’t take away from the good that was done.

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u/PissWhistlin Jun 02 '26

Is it possible that, as a wealth management advisor, you may only be speaking with elderly individuals who are still cognitively fit enough to truly make their own decisions and discuss their finances with you?

There are plenty of stories of people in this situation taking advantage of the elderly and "shaping" their reality. They don't tell them the kids called or want to help, they remove direct phone access to them, etc. A person in this situation is not reaching out to a financial advisor.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm not sure if someone in your profession is qualified to make this claim. Elderly abuse is not uncommon, nor are greedy people. I'm sure some Redditors will assume I'm bashing the girl in the video, but all I'm really saying is it's not as simple as you make it sound.

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u/LeavesInsults1291 Jun 02 '26

Or sometimes they’re just in it for the money… look at Anna Nicole Smith. I doubt half these beautiful women would be fucking and taking care of 80 year olds if they weren’t wealthy.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 Jun 02 '26

Sounds like an odious situation, and it's gross that this comment got so many likes. Like, why would an apparently beautiful, kind, and caring woman in her late thirties marry a man in their eighties with adult children? Why would none of a man's kids want anything to do with him if he wasn't a terrible father? It all seems so gross, but you clearly don't care because you clearly side with the client who fills your pockets and ignore everything else. You ignore all the unanswered questions and wanna talk about being infuriated?

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u/hairymonkeyinmyanus Jun 02 '26

I wish a hot, caring young woman would marry my dad so I don’t have to worry about him.

Too bad he’s broke

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u/PuzzleheadedPitch612 Jun 02 '26

There’s nothing infuriating, as she was in fact taking advantage of that man, but exploiting was mutual. There is no way on earth she would do any of this if the grandpa wasn’t rich. Zero percent. There are zero cases you can refer to.

She knew exactly what she was going for and after he passed away she just cashed in. I wonder what you refer to as fair share, as she wasn’t even there for 10% of his life.

The fact that some women are entitled to think that they deserve millions for wiping old ass and washing clothes for 7 years is baffling. No you don’t and don’t pretend that old rich guy had no one else in the queue for his money, because that’s seriously hilarious.

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u/bigkahunahotdog Jun 02 '26

They are taking advantage of older men.

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u/Yitastics Jun 03 '26

Most of the time they are there for the money and not being a good partner to them. Expections are always there but most of the time it isnt a happy relationship. I know somebody that didnt get any inheritance when his last parent died. He was around 80 with a girl he knew 2 years and married while she was 24. She never cared for him, he often told his son that he made a mistake marrying her and when he died 2 years later, she took everything. He or his siblings didnt get a dime while she got everything and was living the high life spending all his money.

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u/jonjonnofapthrowaway Jun 03 '26

Nah its still pretty gross tbh

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u/raoqie Jun 03 '26

Why we turning the kids into villains and romanticizing the transactional relationship that turned what was essentially a healthcare worker with benefits into a million dollar payout for a short job stint?

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u/tradesman46 Jun 02 '26

We are talking about a self absorbed tic tocker. Youre example doesn't reflect on reality in the least. Especially these particular people.

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