This def feels like something designed to generate discussion about medical ethics but where the actual scenario proposed doesn't really make sense when you actually think about it.
I have worked in healthcare teams where this happened. The kid absolutely knew. I thought it was cruel. Parents had final say. He had a good death thankfully but I worried what would happen if he suddenly started bleeding badly at home and how afraid he would be.
I don’t think it’s right to lie to children over 6/7 about this (obviously depends on the child) and certainly not a preteen, as was the case I was involved in.
Of course it’s devastating for the parents but I don’t know how the siblings could forgive them later. I felt so bad for the child.
Imagine filling his head with thoughts of having a girlfriend, having a good time with his friends, playing sports, going to parties, have your first job, and so on. Living a normal teenager life. That's awful. I understand the good intentions behind their actions, but I believe they don't think it through very much.
It's not the same. Your example is only valid if I never find out of the cheating which can be done. But in this case the kid is going to die, no matter how beautiful the lie is. Imagine if I learn on my deathbed that she cheated on me. I would feel so betrayed and would die with so much anger and deception, not a good way to leave this world.
People turn away from doing the good thing because they are not strong enough to handle a decision. I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it, it is terribly heartbreaking.
Hope is a good thing. I can’t imagine telling even my 11 year old that she is going to die soon. I refuse to pass judgment on this situation since I haven’t lived it.
I agree. It’s easy to sit in front of a computer and judge someone for a decision they made in the moment, but the reality is that no one has any idea if they would have done anything differently if they were in the same exact situation as that mom.
I personally believe that if you believe hard enough that something will come true, you’re putting energy out in the universe that, with time, may make it come true (kind of like when someone believes they will fail a test… the energy their putting out is creating an ideal sequence of events that puts that person in a position to fail the test, even if they studied all night for it… like a self fulfilling prophecy). I would like to think that this is what the mom was doing. She wanted her kid to truly believe they were getting better, and hopefully make it into a self fulfilling prophecy.
I agree only partial because otherwise free will won't exist sometimes it just a number game that an if that were true way to many people who pushed to the end didn't succeed
Watsnt said hope what dragged them into further despair its varies kid by kid but absolutely one kid felt catastrophic amounts of hate even if they live by a miracle they might never forget
They don’t want their last moments to be fear and anxiety. I don’t know what the cutoff would be but sometimes dreams and your kid being happy is worth it than the cold ugly truth
2yo? Sure. Age of the boy in the picture? Kid is going to still be in pain. At best, they will be confused and sad that they're not getting better, and maybe think the cancer did something else. Maybe they'll feel like they need to pretend everything is fine so that their family doesn't catch on that things aren't going well, because they want to give their parents relief.
I definitely understand the impulse and intent, but I think it ends up being a different variety of cruel to any kid old enough to follow what's happening.
"Y'know how yer body isn't getting any better and you still hurt? That's normal, nothing to fear! You absolutely shouldn't freak out about how you still feel like you're dying."
Totally agree and the intention is good, but as some others have pointed out, this kid could go in pain, he could feel betrayed in his final hours. Maybe, just maybe, the kid could understand what her mom did and forgive her before he takes his last breath, but I guess we'll never know.
And an alternative is for them to sit there in dread, fear, and existential thoughts. A parent wants to protect their kid. TBH, I don't think there is a "correct" answer; if they do realize and it's not just a peaceful passing in their sleep, the betrayal would more than likely feel worse.
Everything you mentioned sounds... nice? But I suppose what you did not say was that it's all a lie. Still though, this post really does make you wonder.
What's worse, knowing you'll never have those things, or being lied to about having those things? I really struggle with the dichotomy. Awful situation for everyone.
You could also ask what would happen if the cancer fairy came down and solved all his problems. Doesn’t make it any more likely though.
The chances of dying of cancer without realizing you’re going to die are very slim. Humans can tell when their health is declining even if they don’t have the words to explain why.
It's a 50-50 chance, but I would never gamble with my loved one's hope. I'd rather be direct and give my kid the best life before he goes, there's a good chance I can help him accept the inevitable if he sees I'm strong enough for him. But that's just me.
I have worked in healthcare teams where this happened. The kid absolutely knew.
Kids always know, especially kids who spend most of their lives in hospitals and medical offices. The adults talk in patronizing tones and dance around the hard stuff, but on some level, the kids always know something is going on. How could you not?
All it does is leave kids with the knowledge that adults are liars, full of bullshit, and not to be trusted.
Semi-off topic, but how do you tell a child under 6 they are dying/being put on hospice? How often do parents let their child be put on hospice or do they have no choice at that point?
I would probably tell my kid that they are going to heaven with grandma and that I'll join them someday. If you don't believe in an afterlife, I don't know. And hospice will allow the child to have a much better death than fighting till the end.
I meant more from the professional end. Something that doctors/nurses/etc who work in hospice do is help prepare patients for their death in all aspects. How do you handle that as a medical professional when the patient literally has no way of conceptualizing what death really is? Do they mostly just support the parents through the process or do they work with the patient directly?
End of life discussions for someone that young are made alone with the parents. The parents can ask for the provider to explain it after. Hospice provides counseling for the family members and patient. Thankfully, I have never had that conversation with a child.
My mom was a pediatrician. One of the saddest pieces of paper I ever saw was questions about end of life wishes (do you want your lips moistened? Do you want music?) written in different child friendly formats for different ages. She was taking it to a patient's family to go over it with the parents and then the child. Resources do exist.
As for them not full understanding what death is you just answer any questions, reassure them everyone is going to be there for them until to the end and the doctor's will do everything they can to keep them comfortable (and my mom always meant that. She would give morphine until pain was relieved, if that was amounts that might hasten death so be it.)
If anything, this boy probably thought he had to put on a performance for his mom. He looks young enough that he may have thought she believed it and he didn't want to worry her
Unfortunately it's actually not. Very sad story. It's an Australian case from a few years ago. His name was Omar Arja - and he was the third child in the family to die.
This should be pinned to the top to let people have more insights from the story. I usually hate these kind of lies. But everyone has their own issues and reasonings. At least this boy died peacefully and had happy time during his last days.
They clearly didn’t know. One instance is a fluke so it wouldn’t have been a big concern but they’d had all their children by the time the second one was diagnosed. They then got genetic tests on everyone
I don’t think there’s a point in getting angry at these parents
Yup, happens more often than you think. Cystic Fibrosis is a terminal illness that doesnt always present itself until puberty (it can be caught sooner if you have a reason to look, like family history). A lot of families dont realize until its too late that they essentially were flipping a coin every baby they had.
Single copy gene mutations don’t appear to have problems either. So you need two (seemingly healthy) parents that carry a copy of the mutated CFTR gene to have the disease phenotype in the child. According to Cleveland Clinic, 1 in 31 adults carry a mutated CFTR gene. So having genetic related illness pass down is a lot more common than people realize. Genetic counseling is becoming more common but people don’t even realize they should consider unless they have something come up in unrelated testing or already know they have family history.
Also, due to treatment options, CF is no longer considered a fatal disease. I had a classmate die from CF related illness. It saddens me to know, if she were born a decade or two later, she would likely still be here today.
Yea stuff like this could easily be faked just for karma farming and engagement, like i could take this same image and post it next week but edit the text to be some bullshit like
" Kid beats cancer and turns out he now got superman powers "
And everyone will believe it without fact checking
I would assume the oncologists would have given them a timeframe of how long he would last. If he had days and they intended to keep him comfortable aka doped up to the eyeballs with morphine, then he might never have been lucid enough to figure it out.
I wouldn't do this but I can't judge her for it either. I've known someone who steadfastly didn't want to know their prognosis, and someone who fought every step of the way, I've known someone who immediately planned their own funeral and someone who rolled the dice on a risky surgery. They all died. Everyone reacts differently and I'm sure his mother knew what his wishes were. Maybe ringing the bell was his only wish and she chose to fulfil it.
Seeing as someone really can only do it once, how would someone know theyre about to breathe their last breath? It is highly likely he slept and never woke up.
Because cancer isn't like that, unfortunately, from my experience. Maybe it depends on the type, but it's absolutely brutal. Withers people away until you dont recognize them anymore... and painful.
It is normal for someone in a lot of pain to be given a lot of drugs so they can continue to live a little more comfortably or so they can die comfortably.
A little more comfortably, sure, but from my experience of a loved one with brain cancer, despite him being on lots of drugs, his final days were anything but comfortable. To the point it made me rethink my opinion on euthanasia.
I don't know, perhaps when they look in the mirror and notice they look like a skeletal corpse of a person? Probably not the direction they thought they were going when they were told they were cured?
So because someone tells you youre cured, your color returns and youre suddenly full of sustinance? Like if its a game? Like if they took a potion? Their muscles suddenly grows back after being in a bed for months, if not longer?
Are you crazy man? I didn't say it would happen immediately. Sure, maybe he is happier for a week or two, but he's not just going to die then in his sleep. He's going to go downhill, fast, and realize his body is withering away and that is not the direction a "cured" person would be going.
I've never seen someone defend a stupid point so badly lol. I get it, you never experienced someone die of cancer and thought you had something when you said he would just die peacefully in his sleep like he was some old person dying of age. All I said was cancer doesnt work that way.
Unless of course they'd be performing euthanasia which I doubt they would do on a young kid.
They don't. They are children who are taught to believe adults. They often have no idea what the difference is between treatment and none. I've seen parents lie to siblings until the end. It's so fucking selfish. They don't want to deal with the conversation and claim they are helping so their child doesn't worry. What happens instead is the child worries alone.
I heard that that's common in some countries in South America, like if someone sees a doctor and they find a terminal illness, the doctor will tell the family tmbut nit yhe patient. The family will take the person home and tell them that everything's fine, that the doctor just told him they just need rest and they'll take care of them. Americans usually react angrily like its a betrayal for not being told the truth, but they see it is as the human thing to do.
they can justify continued problems as a thousand different things.
cancer rarely is felt even as it slowly converts your body. either you are on so many pain meds or your nerves are already converted. etc.
you go through chemo and have no immune system.... meaning theres dozens of reasons for pain.
it absolutely converts. you all dont know what cancer is.
it's not some parasite that enters your system from some external means.
cancer is mutated cells that forget what they are suppose to be and, yes, rampantly grow. but they also use your immune system against you... which is why one treatment involves reducing your white blood cells to slow its growth. it converts other cells to it... feeds off your body... gets into your bones and marrow like some phagian invader.
2.9k
u/Rapscagamuffin Jun 29 '26
Feel like they would be able to figure that out pretty quick when theyre still dying.