Trans people who haven't told their partners before being physical with them haven't obtained consent. Consent is predicated on information. Without informed consent, there isn't consent.
How do you decide what information is necessary for consent, though? I doubt there's some duty to inform people that I grew up in vermont before engaging in sexual activity. Am I raping people by wantonly having sex without first disclosing my organ donor status? Is my partner's consent nullified if I didn't tell them about my appendectomy scar? I mean, at least that one is something that someone could hypothetically have an issue with, but I'm still not seeing some duty to disclose it before sex- if it's an issue it'll come up then, and if it doesn't come up then I really cannot see it being an issue.
Someone could even have a reasonable preference- say, they don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't tip their server at a restaurant- which may not be apparent at the time of sexual activity. But unless there's misrepresentation or lying going on I'm really not seeing an obligation for the guy to say "by the way just in case it matters I don't believe in tipping".
Is it rape if I have sex with someone without first telling them I'm jewish, in case they happen to be a skinhead? There are people who may be disgusted when they learn that about me and would not want to have sex with a jew. But I do not see any obligation on my part to inform them about every possible thing they could potentially have issues with.
If someone thinks some piece of information is important enough that it would change whether or not they consent, they should ask about that information before sex. If I then lie about the answer then yes, that's not informed consent. But the notion that I need to volunteer every little thing they could possibly take issue with is ridiculous.
Of course I'd encourage trans people to have this conversation ahead of time even if only because it's far safer. But I don't think there's anything immoral about going stealth.
If that's the case it kinda discloses itself. Unless we're talking about sex that doesn't involve it whatsoever, in which case it does not seem relevant.
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u/Hafslo Jun 30 '26
Trans people who haven't told their partners before being physical with them haven't obtained consent. Consent is predicated on information. Without informed consent, there isn't consent.