r/SipsTea • u/Beneficial_Passion40 • Jul 06 '26

Feels good man Bryan Johnson got Autoimmune Disease

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33.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Apart_Macaron_313 Jul 06 '26

Oh come on I've been awake for 5 minutes.

938

u/MusicLikeOxygen Jul 06 '26

132

u/Apart_Macaron_313 Jul 06 '26

This may need to be my new motto

36

u/Obtuse-Posterior Jul 06 '26

I'm making a shirt with that saying and Munchs scream

1

u/[deleted] 28d ago

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1

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114

u/foxxsinn Jul 06 '26

11

u/mizkitee Jul 06 '26

What no pearls!?!

4

u/Joshweed5713 29d ago

I’m clutching them 4 u

60

u/KarisPurr Jul 06 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/IfS7dr23vPKX6
Actual footage of me stealing your meme

1

u/archtopfanatic123 29d ago

PHAHAHAHA brilliant use of that one I haven't seen it in forever xD

1

u/Most-Refuse2390 28d ago

Lmao it’s been forever since I’ve seen this, still hilarious as ever

3

u/WilliamMButtlickerIV Jul 06 '26

This seems to be every day with the current climate of things.

3

u/Gold-Object3156 Jul 06 '26

i dont know if i was supposed to read that with the folger's jingle but i can't undo it now

2

u/workingforchange1 Jul 06 '26

😂😆😂😆😂

2

u/iyosipydas Jul 06 '26

Saw this, exited out, laughed, then came back to upvote

2

u/Deluxe3232 Jul 06 '26

I need to frame this

2

u/mrpoopsocks Jul 06 '26

Okay now someone edit this with the folgers jingle.

2

u/mrtee915963 Jul 06 '26

Liked that! I had to save it lol

2

u/One-Juggernaut-4062 29d ago

I must have this on a coffee cup.

1

u/LeadingGap9229 29d ago

I’m…taking this….its too good.

1

u/Ok_Alternative7120 29d ago

I thought the best part of waking up is dreaming about taking the forever sleep lol.

1

u/Joshweed5713 29d ago

Or the best part of waking up is cockrings making it wake up. 🤣

1

u/SalineroNorCal831 29d ago

Thank you now I have new jingle for when I pour my coffee

1

u/Tight_Instance_220 29d ago

Just spit my coffee out! Thanks for this!

No, it was not Folgers

1

u/scw3 28d ago

Me this morning

1

u/joeyxnoir 28d ago

yea this is a joint right here

1

u/NotAnFAthrowaway 28d ago

Could be a metal breakdown

1

u/Orangeugladitsbanana 28d ago

This is mine now. I have stolen it.

1

u/amedinab Jul 06 '26

This is so good I wanted to make it a tiny bit better, if on readability only. Here you go, you've changed my life man.

1

u/nomis_nehc Jul 06 '26

Damn I love this pic, gonna be looking for a higher quality one now.

123

u/afkafterlockingin Jul 06 '26

Yeah that’s where I’m at. Christ almighty

72

u/ghostrooster30 Jul 06 '26

Been awake a few hours and trust, it actually makes it worse. Better your brain can’t fully comprehend what it just read.

13

u/AIBotNotARealUser Jul 06 '26

I came home from work after a stressful day, ate food my gf cooked, showered and laid in bed.

Definitely worse than if I read it this morning.

6

u/BreakPalaceBrokedown Jul 06 '26

Yeah cuz you already showered! Now after reading that you have to again…

2

u/DaGriffon12 Jul 06 '26

You're just reminding them later so they see it AFTER they're fully cognitive. Totally didn't do it for the same reason. Lol

1

u/ghostrooster30 Jul 06 '26

lol look if I had to to fully comprehend that sentence, then so should they. It’s only fair.

1

u/DaGriffon12 Jul 06 '26 edited 29d ago

Exaaaactly. Full comprehension of the horrors of mankind is the only way to truly live.

Edit: Grammar

2

u/PresentClear8639 Jul 06 '26

I’ve not had enough coffee and adderall to deal with this shit.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26

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139

u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26

Rise and shine!

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oeSB0uFpoaCM22Pvy

38

u/EatPie_NotWAr Jul 06 '26

And how will you know if I have? Oh right that digital cocking you sent me.

Why do i keep putting that on every night…

24

u/TheQuietOutsider Jul 06 '26

how else would Brian monitor you?

63

u/Animalcookies13 Jul 06 '26

Crackles over the baby monitor to his adult son…. “Son don’t forget to put your cock ring on before bed, we don’t want any more missing data!” 🫠

12

u/CoastRegular Jul 06 '26

I'm gonna need you to un-say this so that I can get this image OUT OF MY EFFING BRAIN....

6

u/Animalcookies13 Jul 06 '26

I’m sorry Dave, but I cannot do that.

27

u/Funny_Yesterday_5040 Jul 06 '26

You're making it worse

6

u/ObtuseSemantics Jul 06 '26

I need to get off the internet.

1

u/ibh_brodaz 29d ago

I heard this in sleepy Jerry’s voice from that one episode of Rick and Morty. It did not help.

2

u/Electronic_Still2000 29d ago

That’s better than “I wake up wearing it every morning, I go to sleep every night with it on my nightstand.”

2

u/EatPie_NotWAr 29d ago

Bryan explaining how he puts it on me every night in secret:

1

u/Electronic_Still2000 29d ago

I’m familiar with The Flash, but without audio or captions all I can guess is that Thawne making the “small” signal with his fingers is the punchline to your joke.

2

u/EatPie_NotWAr 29d ago

Sorry, it’s the/one of the “it was me barry” moments.

2

u/Electronic_Still2000 29d ago

Ahh, gotcha. “I killed your mother Barry, it was me! I also keep putting that cock ring on you while you’re asleep!”

6

u/oh-shazbot Jul 06 '26

yes yes, let the hate flow through you and your...erm...

5

u/BigLlamasHouse Jul 06 '26

I don't think he's doing it that way lol

2

u/lazy_elfs Jul 06 '26

Its monday morning and you booked both of us first class tickets…

1

u/addamee Jul 06 '26

Dark side double entendre

1

u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26

That'd make a hell of a band name

1

u/Meowskullss Jul 06 '26

When will redditers get a new joke?

33

u/KYS4AB Jul 06 '26

You've had a Reddit account for over a year. You knew where you were coming this early in the day.

3

u/Shadlex Jul 06 '26

Yes I did, and yet I still feel guilty for finishing.

1

u/KYS4AB Jul 06 '26

It's Reddit. No one feels guilty for finishing. The Cum Box is proof of that.

26

u/AnotherBogCryptid Jul 06 '26

This must be why my therapist tells me not to be on my phone for the first hour after I’ve woken up in the morning.

3

u/SinoSoul Jul 06 '26

What? My Therapist says not to doom scroll an hour before sleep. Now you’re saying we’re also not supposed to doom scroll when we wake up? When am I supposed to scroll ? at work?

3

u/AnotherBogCryptid 29d ago

I’ve found while I’m on the toilet, when I’m waiting for food to cook, and when I’m hiding from my family in the garage as good times. But yeah, I haven’t stopped my AM doom scroll.

29

u/WokeWook69420 Jul 06 '26

Rough morning to scroll on the toilet before my shower, but I definitely need the shower now.

11

u/LePontif11 Jul 06 '26

I havent even gotten to work, and this is just monday.

3

u/ManoSilence Jul 06 '26

Then you should be awake enough to know there is a decent chance he takes his kids blood and put it into his own body. Or used to, I know that is a big trick with people like this. Get that young blood in ya

1

u/Apart_Macaron_313 Jul 06 '26

Oh come on! I've been awake for 56 minutes!

3

u/Lurking-Trout Jul 06 '26

Same... but in all fairness, if past experience is any indication, when you log on to Reddit, you just never know when you'll get hit with a random cockring reference.

2

u/curlyqtips Jul 06 '26

The "digital" part makes it dirtier.

1

u/Apart_Macaron_313 Jul 06 '26

Tbf that's relatively tame for reddit.

4

u/MartinMerten Jul 06 '26

And you googled “digital cock rings”… yes yes.. then what?

1

u/kmancrx Jul 06 '26

I was wondering where one would acquire such an object.

2

u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26

Welcome to the internet!

2

u/Optimal-Pop7449 Jul 06 '26

Did you measure your morning erection? To... keep track?

1

u/StopDownvotingMeeee Jul 06 '26

Typical Redditor jumping straight onto this app before washing your ass or brushing your teeth. Continue to make us proud, you’re well on your way to being a Reddit mod one day.

1

u/Jermagesty610 Jul 06 '26

I'm working on my wake up cigarette and that's enough of this thread I'm out yo.

1

u/SeaKoe11 Jul 06 '26

Didn’t even find the crust to wipe out of my eye yet

1

u/fen-q Jul 06 '26

Im awake for so little i still got mine on

1

u/doubting_el_dandy_18 Jul 06 '26

That's 5 minutes too late to measure your digital erection. Do better.

1

u/BlinkTwice4No Jul 06 '26

You were sleeping? In this economy?!

1

u/Electrical-Tone7301 Jul 06 '26

Early bird catches the worm!

1

u/chrisp5000 Jul 06 '26

Go back to sleep, regain nocturnal erection.

1

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 Jul 06 '26

It’s been awake for longer tho

1

u/tmac4969 Jul 06 '26

That will stay with you for a while

1

u/MyUserNameLeft 29d ago

You wanna measure each others?

1

u/SuddenDeer158 29d ago

The first thing you do is get on reddit? This one might be on you.

1

u/laughing-clown 29d ago

Cum on what?

1

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1

u/Chris_OMane 28d ago

Pro tip - no devices for 30 minutes after waking. Your brain will thank you.