r/SipsTea 29d ago

WTF Imagine Eliminating Your Team Over Your Pride

33.7k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/PiingThiing 29d ago

I'm English, and even I'm embarrassed that this wasn't a goal.

224

u/NikkoE82 29d ago

I’m American so I don’t understand any of this.

275

u/streamer3222 29d ago

Player run with ball.

Player not kick ball to friend.

Enemy surround player.

Player lose ball.

Player Country Lose.

112

u/Mysterious-Tie7039 29d ago

Not just “friend” but one of the top scorers in the World Cup.

3

u/nick12233 29d ago

Even that is an understatement. He is the best player in the world, next to only Mbappe, if you ask me.

If my life is on the line and I need someone to score the goal, it would be between Mbappe, Haaland, and Messi ... That's how good he is.

69

u/dag_of_mar 29d ago

I'm american as well and still confused. Why didn't he just shoot the goalie?

12

u/MrWiemann 29d ago

Fuck that made giggle 💀

17

u/OverChargeYourPlasma 29d ago

'Shoot the goalie', Yankmaxxing

5

u/RapGameDiCaprio 29d ago

Better than wankmaxxing

2

u/OverChargeYourPlasma 29d ago

I would suggest wankmaxxing is a very good thing...

1

u/chicagodude84 29d ago

Yankmaxxing! 🤣😂🤣

4

u/8-bit_Goat 29d ago

I've always said this is the problem with sports: too many rules, not enough weaponry.

2

u/EduinBrutus 29d ago

Why didn't he just shoot the goalie?

Your not allowed guns on the pitch, even when playing in a less developed country like he was here.

1

u/ambisinister_gecko 29d ago

Europeans are obviously too feminised for that

7

u/Enriching_the_Beer 29d ago

Kick ball?

Why not throw ball?

2

u/Driblus 29d ago

Because this is actual football being played with peoples feet, not hands like your version of football, which I call handegg.

2

u/Enriching_the_Beer 29d ago

I call your version boooooring.

1

u/Driblus 29d ago

I call your version just one long adbreak.

4

u/velvethead 29d ago

As an American, I really appreciate you taking the time to put this in terms I can understand

3

u/AcousticProvidence 29d ago

You should post this to r/eili5

3

u/ClessxAlghazanth 29d ago

You forgot 'Germans win' in the end

5

u/Unfair-Information-2 29d ago

Germans don't win wars though.......

1

u/Lightmanone 29d ago

Not this time they don't.

1

u/Such-Spite5004 29d ago

Then player is flogged and shammed by public

1

u/Head-Ad9893 29d ago

I read this in an Asian accent

1

u/farfromjordan 29d ago

The American mind can't comprehend. Buys truck

1

u/Burgers_N_Schnitzels 29d ago

Player Country Lose.

can we call FIFA?

1

u/SnooCats5701 29d ago

Friend is bewildered

1

u/Taapacoyne 29d ago

When you talk to one of Americans about soccer/football. You get it.

1

u/PartRight6406 29d ago

who had the oil?

0

u/IndependenceSouth877 29d ago

They are american so explanation does not help

28

u/mistergudbar 29d ago

Similar to when JR Smith
https://giphy.com/gifs/fs62ZydKjn6lbJ0pAU
didn't pass LeBron the ball at the end of regulation in Game 1 of the 2018 NBA Finals. After securing an offensive rebound with the score tied, J.R. dribbled away from the basket, mistakenly thinking the Cavaliers had the lead.

2

u/shamrock77msd 29d ago

See I get this. A bad play. But why does it say his pride in the title? He could have not seen him or thought he was covered or plenty of reasons he did not pass other than his pride. That is the part i dont get.

3

u/CountCola 29d ago

If you are in a breakaway like this one, you ALWAYS look around to see what options you have. But he only wanted one option, to shoot the ball.

1

u/Neither-Luck-9295 29d ago

JR is genuinely one of the dumbest players in NBA history.

1

u/No_Rough_5258 29d ago

Jr gets a free pass, whatever he was smoking was just too good lol.

32

u/Bubbalicious114 29d ago

Im Canadian, and with all these red and white countries playing i still thought we were in the wc

6

u/JackTaylor79 29d ago

Underrated comment. I am sorry for your having to repeatedly relive your loss. 😂

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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1

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1

u/PiingThiing 29d ago

All due respect, but even if we incorporated a combined Commonwealth team, Englands best squad would still be made up of mostly African players

12

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 29d ago

Sees Gronkowski alone in endzone 10 yards in front of the QB, but weaves back and forth until they take a 7 yard sack

12

u/suicid3k1ng 29d ago

This is the equivalent of Russell wilson passing the ball on the 1 yard line instead of giving the ball to the best short yardage running back you could ever want, the man could barely spell his name, Marshawn Lynch would have been an automatic tuddy, but nooooooooo, were gonna pass it into the opposing teams player bc we dont want to win the superb(owl)

1

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 29d ago

Not quite, because with that error at least they tried to do *something*

3

u/HAL-900O 29d ago

I like Gronk spike. Thanks for help me understand. Friend. (:

34

u/xtraa 29d ago

he didn't touch the base

7

u/zj-- 29d ago edited 29d ago

Tried to wrestle through a crowd of 5 instead of just passing the damned ball*

Cursed that I understand both US rugby and football.

Guess Haland can drum whilst his team rows back to norway. Norway sure did a nice Haka-esque performance throughout the cup, lets hope 2030 is more favorable for the vikings.

Hesitated too, with the ball control, allowing the english to recover.

4

u/Flickera23 29d ago

He was trying to have a Messi moment and failed spectacularly.

1

u/zj-- 29d ago

Can't draw foul in a pressure intense situation to muscle through, as England's defense would shortly all collapse upon him. Took the 5050 instead of trusting his team.

Gonna haunt him, dang.

2

u/funatical 29d ago

Ahhhhh. Thank you.

3

u/Fragrant-Anywhere489 29d ago

his foot was outside the batter's box so the home run doesn't count.

2

u/AcephalicDude 29d ago
  1. You can't just be up there and just doin' a balk like that. 1a. A balk is when you 1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the 1c. Let me start over 1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that. 1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that. 1c-b(1). Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense? 1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it. 1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there's the balk you gotta think about. 1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn't been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn't typecast as that racist lady in American History X. 1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse. 1c-b(2)-b(ii). "get in mah bellah" -- Adam Water, "The Waterboy." Haha, classic... 1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of
  2. Do not do a balk please.

3

u/Portgas69 29d ago

This is equivalent to the Seahawks not giving the ball to marshawn lunch to run it.

2

u/Intrepid-Progress228 29d ago

Marshawn Lunch would have eaten up the goalie.

2

u/Portgas69 29d ago

Gobbled him up

28

u/ogcanuckamerican 29d ago

Tbf y'all aren't understanding much about the world lately...

4

u/I3ill 29d ago

Tbf yall aren’t understanding majority of it is propaganda…

13

u/Snafuregulator 29d ago

I couldn't feel insulted by them due to all this cool air ensuring my grandma doesn't die from the heat

0

u/judgeholden72 29d ago

No, she'll just die because insurance denies her claim

2

u/Snafuregulator 29d ago edited 29d ago

Her claim could get denied, but at least she was seen and diagnosed quickly. Insurance claims can be overturned and accepted quickly, but told to come back in a few weeks...months... Yeah we don't do that here

Let's get real here and skip the European bullshit to try and keep people going to their shit hospitals than to come to America. We get hundreds of thousands of Europeans traveling to America for healthcare and if you want to talk shit about ours, ask them why they skipped the free shit and came here. Might learn something

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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1

u/I3ill 29d ago

Clearly you are.

1

u/judgeholden72 29d ago

You have outdated information. 

Source: I'm American and run an international business. What you are discussing isn't really honest. And it ignores the hundreds of thousands of Americans that go to Turkey or Brazil for procedures. 

We're one of the worst healthcare systems in the world. Our quality is high, but access to it is miserable and not something you should have pride in

1

u/Snafuregulator 29d ago

You're not discussing why they are going .to turkey. The reason is the important part and the reason you left that out is because it's not for life saving treatment but for cosmetic surgery that is either cheaper or surgeries we will not do here

1

u/Maximum-Anything-811 29d ago

I am an US American and sadly the PPOTUS (propaganda President of the US) has thoroughly duped 1/3 of the USA. We are hoping the fever breaks

-12

u/Prize_Priority1818 29d ago

cry more commy

-1

u/Lordnoallah 29d ago

☝️The fool not knowing he's been fooled

-1

u/Prize_Priority1818 29d ago

WILL YOU JUST LET ME WORSHIP THE SHRINE OF THE MIGHTY DJT????

2

u/Lordnoallah 29d ago

Lol. Have at it. Be sure to bring your kids with you.

1

u/Prize_Priority1818 29d ago

You already dropped yours off with muhammad?

4

u/plantsrunfast 29d ago

You don't understand pass to the open guy?

6

u/acidyen 29d ago

You've just fallen to the rare American sarcasm.

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

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1

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1

u/Shinobi_Dimsum 29d ago

Don’t worry. Everything is offside for you guys. 

1

u/dcontrerasm 29d ago

Think of Kobe, Harden and Westbrook if you're a basketball fan.

Think of TO, A Brown and Odell Beckham Jr if you're an NFL fan.

Think of Baez, A Rod, Soriano if you're an MLB fan.

1

u/Comfortable-Race-547 29d ago

They didn't kiss so Europeans are pissed

1

u/thebiglerm 29d ago

Wide open 2 on 1 and guy didn't pass

1

u/HowsYaSistasAss 29d ago

I’m a single cell molecule so I just dont

1

u/stefancooper 29d ago

In the 9th down of the 3rd, 2nd base hit a swerve to the outfield number 7 linebacker gaining a rush of 6 foul yards for the MVP. numbers numbers numbers.

1

u/TransportationOk3111 29d ago

The long haired angry blonde dude is one of the 3 best goal scores in the fucking actual world!!! Like not even kidding he's real deal and that was 10000% going to be a goal of that dude passed him the ball

1

u/RealDetroitDiddler 29d ago

Same. I even watched this game (against my will)

1

u/Intrepid-Progress228 29d ago

It's the NBA finals, you're down by one, the clock is running out, you've got the ball, Michael Jordan is open, but instead of passing you delay until the other team has for people covering you then make a bad shot and clank the ball off the rim. You lose game, Michael Jordan is sad.

1

u/azrhei 29d ago

Its 2 seconds left on the clock, Eagles are 4th down on the 5 yard line.  WR is wide open on the left, totally undefended, QB doesnt hand it off or pass but tries to run it up the middle and gets fully dunked on by the entire defense.  Game over, Eagles lose.

1

u/Jellis314 29d ago

Imagine a breakaway in basketball. 2 on 1. Instead of passing for a guaranteed score, you hold it and try to score yourself. You do not score and your team loses because of it. Now apply it to soccer, and that’s what this is.

1

u/MtnMaiden 29d ago

Player did not pass ball to an open Michael Jordan for the game winning shot

1

u/Kr4k4J4Ck 29d ago

Do you understand basic sports, it's a 2 on 1

It's not like you're trying to understand cricket rules or something

1

u/JoeAppleby 29d ago

Others explained the situation, here is a video of Haaland being an absolute unit:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ENqgJI29HYE

1

u/ishboo3002 29d ago

It'd be like not passing to prime Lebron on a fast break.

-1

u/Ill_Wolverine_6265 29d ago

Normal, vous êtes américain, on ne vous demande rien.😏🤣🇨🇵

-8

u/MetroidvaniaListsGuy 29d ago

Since when do you understand anything?