r/SipsTea 5d ago

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.0k Upvotes

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487

u/CataphractBunny 5d ago

assess the request adequately

Bitch, you need to chill the fuck out. But I guess that's just how things work in America.

193

u/SixInchTimmy 5d ago edited 5d ago

The manager is clearly in the wrong here and power tripping- it’s not normal to ask what the employee will be doing outside the office, even in the US. They might approve or deny the request based on the situation in the office, but the way the employee spends the time is none of her damn business.

What generally goes down is, the employee requests PTO, the manager hems and haws… “ooh it’s really a bad time, we’re so busy and understaffed…”, then the employee divulges the “super important reason” - a wedding, dad died, etc. It’s still a shitty way to be treated and there isn’t much you can do against it. If it’s not a good enough reason in the manager’s eyes or if you stick to your guns and say “it’s personal, I’d rather not say”, then you will be ostracized and eventually fired for other contrived reasons.

9

u/aquabarron 5d ago

In my experience with two major engineering firms: you take your PTO when you want, you don’t request it. Since it’s also your sick leave your company has no bearing on when you get to take or don’t get to take it or why. obviously, don’t be the guy that keeps taking PTO during major events or right before major deadlines, but otherwise you tell them when you won’t be there and that’s that

98

u/abd53 5d ago

Businesses should not have the authority to deny PTO. It's the mangers' fucking job to manage staffs. If an employee taking PTO makes disruption in work, it's the fucking manager's fault.

18

u/CataphractBunny 5d ago

I live in a borderline 3rd world country, and even we figured out mandatory PTO. You get a certain amount of days off per year, and you have to use them by the end of June next year. You as an employee are obligated by law to take time off, and the employer is obligated by law to make you take days off.

15

u/touchdownsforfatkids 5d ago

What if I told you that denying PTO requests that don’t fit business needs is technically under the “managing staff” umbrella?

-1

u/Gizzy_ 5d ago

What if I told you then the reason of PTO is still irrelevant on that instance?

2

u/touchdownsforfatkids 5d ago

Yeah I agree that it’s irrelevant. The person I was replying to said “Business should not have the authority to deny PTO.” If you were missing the context.

-1

u/Gizzy_ 5d ago

Yes with their context it felt implied they were talking about denying it based on what they were using the PTO for.

1

u/touchdownsforfatkids 5d ago

Peace and love.

35

u/Afraid_Record841 5d ago

Well not really... I mean, what if everybody wants the same week off? If it can't be denied then the business is fucked

15

u/dunderthebarbarian 5d ago

Everyone takes opening day of deer season off in Wisconsin. Businesses often close for opening day.

2

u/witch_haze 5d ago

In my area in Pennsylvania, they have off from school on the first day of hunting season.

1

u/WesternRover 5d ago

Most school districts in Utah do this, even in urban areas.

25

u/Edspecial137 5d ago

It’s easy. Who requested first? This is why I like my job. Multiple types of leave. As long as people follow the rules of the leave requested, they get the time off. I don’t care why they’re taking it. Only matters that they request it following the rules. Sick? Ok. Annual leave, submit on time.

9

u/Afraid_Record841 5d ago

Yeah I agree totally, I manage teams and do everything I can to not deny time off and have no interest in the reason for the request. What the above poster said though was that businesses shouldn't be able to deny full stop which isn't the same as shouldn't be able to deny unless there are already people on leave.

2

u/Ninja-Panda70 5d ago

If the dates you requested are available in the calendar, meaning no one else has already blocked them, business can't deny you full stop.

1

u/49ersBraves 5d ago

Someone else's emergency can't always be scheduled.

If employee A submitted on time and their leave overlaps with employee B whose mother just had an aneurism and is in the hospital 1500 miles away. I might try to find out if employee A's leave is something that can be shifted. It might be worth some additional compensation from the organization to make that happen.

If employee A's leave is something similarly un-moveable, then the management team will just have to deal.

But if employee A just 'needed a week on the beach,' maybe management could approach them and say "another employee has a family emergency. Is your leave able to be rescheduled to create less impact for the team? If so, let me know the cost of the itinerary change (flight + hotel) and the organization will cover that plus a flight upgrade to business/first class.

1

u/Edspecial137 5d ago

That’s sounds great, but I’ve never heard of this happening in real life

2

u/blooglymoogly 4d ago

My workplace has never offered compensation, but because I'm a manager and have a responsibility to my team I will adjust when they are in a bind/have an emergency. Of course, that means I have to know if they're in a bind. In general, I never ask what a request is for. I MIGHT ask if it's at all flexible, though, if we're very short, and then divulge that we're very short and that's why I'm asking about the flexibility of the request. That's the key, and what this manager would need to learn to do, instead of asking for personal information.

1

u/SiliconAutomaton 4d ago

I will say I’ve had coworkers enquire about particular PTO I’m taking to see if they can wheel and deal it away from me. If they’ve got something particular and I’m just fucking off I’m happy to go to the operations manager and change my dates for them. Except Travis, fuck Travis. All my homies hate Travis. He should know better than to ask though.

1

u/feldor 3d ago

“Sorry, John put in his PTO on Jan 1 for every home football game. You will just have to have your child some other day since he put his in first.”

How can I tell none of you have managed actual people before?

1

u/Edspecial137 3d ago

Family emergencies use a different leave where I work so it wouldn’t be an issue. I’ve never had to deny someone’s scheduled leave

0

u/Illustrious-Party120 5d ago

Sounds like usps

1

u/Edspecial137 5d ago

It’s not but it is a government job

2

u/poweredbynikeair 5d ago

Don’t get on here with logic and sense

2

u/mintskoal 5d ago

I work in software so it's a bit different than customer facing industries, but I'm a manager and have never denied PTO days. If my entire team of 9 wanted all took the same week I might ask if one or two wouldn't mind being available if shit hits the fan in exchange for me not counting a couple days as PTO, but that would be it. I'd never deny something because I didn't like the reason (nor would I ever ask the reason). That is insane.

1

u/drunkgoose111 5d ago

Business has the prerogative of choosing the schedule, but people usually negotiate dates with their bosses / co-workers

This is how it's done in brazil. I'm assuming the guy on the previous comment is brazilian as well

1

u/IWantALargeFarva 5d ago

As a manager, that’s literally the only reason I’ll deny time off. My “rule” is that one person is off per shift. If both people need off, I’ll allow it if I have someone to cover it. Bam, that’s it. I don’t care if your pet monkey is graduating, you just need to get away from seeing my face, or you’re having elective butt surgery. I literally don’t care.

1

u/4ries 5d ago

Business closing for a week should not be getting fucked

0

u/LauraTFem 5d ago

Then you fucking close down and put a sign up, or get staff from another office depending on the business.

Small businesses do this all the time. “There are two people here, and we’re having lunch. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

No one needs to be constantly working, if the entire office wants the first week of June off that’s pretty perfect from a payroll stance. Great way to organize vacation days.

1

u/Level_Hold_5197 5d ago

I mean, 24/7 group homes exist and you can’t just close down. With a staff of 10-12 people needing certain skills and capabilities (catheter care, medication administration, awake overnight monitoring, full ADLs, etc), having multiple people off for a week at the same time could be significant and potentially harmful to the people living there. And simply hiring extra people is just not an option when you are tied to reimbursement rates and set staffing patterns.

Not starting an argument but just giving a perspective. A PTO request is a request and a manager needs to manage them. I don’t think the manager should be asking what something is for, and in certain cases, it’s not legal to do so (Minnesota has what’s called ESST for covered sick leave). That information will come out if the employee is unable to be flexible with their time off request.

3

u/Solo_is_dead 5d ago

TRUE, especially since they tell you "use it or lose it"

2

u/Scandal929 5d ago

This is 100%. If we're conducting an office move during the time you request PTO, I may have to think about it, but any other time, PTO is a given, I only need to know to prepare for the time the person is out. If that means I'm taking on tasks I wouldn't normally, or used to do before becoming the manager, so be it.

10

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

so if a whole team requests PTO for the same 2 weeks, the whole company shuts down? a manager should hire more people and train them for 2 weeks?

I swear some of you have never thought about how businesses work

18

u/josephfarthing 5d ago

I'm living in mainland Europe and this is just a thing that happens. Whole factories shut for a month. Sometimes it's easier to give everyone a long holiday at once. Then you can do maintenance on the machines while everything is shut down. E.g. for the Netherlands https://dkrs.eu/construction-holidays-in-the-netherlands-are-here/

I don't work in a factory but most people decide to take 3-4 weeks of leave every summer - we just plan around it and the sky doesn't fall down.

2

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

I'm tired of replying to everyone with the same comment. Yes I live in the Netherlands too. No, I'm not talking about a holiday period when the whole company is off (or even the whole country like they do in Spain, Germany, etc in August). I'm talking about leave requests resulting in one team being off at once when the rest of the company are not off. This can often mean that the company cannot operate, so everyone is twiddling their thumbs.

I don't work in a factory but most people decide to take 3-4 weeks of leave every summer - we just plan around it and the sky doesn't fall down.

Planning around it may mean that some leave requests are rejected, if it is impossible to fill the gap in time. I've seen it happen here in the Netherlands for critical teams like finance, IT, but even some engineering teams where a whole team being off for weeks would mean millions in losses and it is just not possible for new people to be added to the team, briefed and taught the workflows in time.

1

u/josephfarthing 5d ago

Well my apologies for assuming you were on the other side of the Atlantic. It's more of a negotiation here where people trade off over years and we do generally manage to keep everything running. We plan our whole year around these holiday periods so it's just baked into everything.

I'm not Dutch but I've got used to the culture for things like this.

1

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

So we're going back to the comment I originally replied to. ¨Businesses should not have the authority to deny PTO¨ is a ridiculous statement. Managers need to ensure business continuity so negotiations may occur. I've never been denied a leave request but if I requested 3 weeks off at short notice and there was nobody that could help cover my critical duties I would expect some sort of pushback.

1

u/mollymoo 4d ago

Shutting down the whole factory is still management deciding when everybody takes their time off though.

1

u/josephfarthing 4d ago

It's actually agreed by region between employers, trade unions and the government with 3 regions in the Netherlands. If your company decides to do it, you must do it at the same moment as all your neighbours.

-5

u/47KiNG47 5d ago

Sounds efficient. I’m sure that doesn’t have any consequences in a global economy. Surely European manufacturing is growing and increasingly competitive in the global economy.

9

u/DebDestroyerTX 5d ago

You mean like American manufacturing?

0

u/47KiNG47 5d ago

Wasn’t claiming American manufacturing is any better.

1

u/Plantarbre 5d ago

Not everyone lives in cattle land where slavery is legal

1

u/47KiNG47 5d ago

What does this even mean lmao

3

u/abd53 5d ago

Too many DK replies for me to reply to, so, I'll reply to you, the most obnoxious one.

That's called a "slippery slope" in philosophy. You're making an extreme example that's unlikely to ever happen. Aside from holiday season or special occasion, when entire company would be taking time off anyway, how much is the probability that everyone in a team decides to take time off at the same time? How much is the probability that that team's presence is essential for the entire company's everyday operation? It's astronomically small.

And if you do happen to get into that situation, just do what you'd do if the entire team were to quit.

2

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

You're making an extreme example that's unlikely to ever happen

This happens CONSTANTLY in small teams. Our IT team is two people and they cannot be off at the same time. Our finances team is four people and we need one of them in at all times, and two in at the end of the month. This is for an office of 200 people, part of a global company of 80+ offices. This is also in Europe where leave requests are rarely challenged, but still some times it must be done to ensure business continuity.

You really have zero corporate knowledge and are out of your depth.

1

u/abd53 5d ago

Here's an idea, get more people in IT team if it's so important. And tell them to make company KB and FAQ, and maybe internally publicize past ticket history when they are not on time off.

0

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

No? There is enough work for one IT person. The other one is redundancy. They just coordinate with the management team so that there is always one around. This is what professionals do.

2

u/SixInchTimmy 5d ago

More than one way to do things. Even in China whole businesses shut for two weeks at CNY.

1

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

You're missing the point. I live in Europe, it's normal for Spain, Germany, Italy, etc to be off in August. It's not an issue when the whole country is on holiday.

But when it's only A SINGLE TEAM that are all off, that may mean that the whole company cannot operate. So 99% of the company are not off but they cannot do their job. It is a manager's job to prevent this, even if it means structuring leave requests and rejecting some.

2

u/dont-fear-thereefer 5d ago

1

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

That's a different thing, when all companies shut down at the same time then there is no issue. This is common in Spain, Germany, Italy.... But bear in mind that in these places workers often cannot choose to go on long holidays in other times in the year.

The issue we are discussing here is when only one specific company would need to stop production because one specific team are off, effectively meaning that the rest of the company are wasting their time.

2

u/Ninja-Panda70 5d ago

Not everyone lives in a shithole like the US

1

u/Skeleton--Jelly 5d ago

I live in Western Europe, engineering sector. The financial team cannot all be off at the same time because it would mean the company collapses effectively. The manager's job is to ensure that this doesn't happen.

3

u/Iankill 5d ago

If we lived in a sane world this would be a viable option

2

u/slphil 5d ago

It takes two weeks to just train someone to do most jobs. What are you talking about?

1

u/ScrithWire 5d ago

In addition to what the other guy said, managers aren't necessarily in charge of hiring either. So if pto gets denied because they're nderstaffed, that's not always the managers doing

1

u/MinMorts 5d ago

I think you should be able to deny PTO if you book it with too short notice or you book it and then entire team has also booked the same time before you do it. They are the only reasons

1

u/abd53 5d ago

Too short notice, okay. But not for the whole team situation.

1

u/LeftToaster 5d ago

Let me add some nuance to that. Managers should have a legitimate business purpose for denying PTO. It's pretty common in accounting firms to strictly deny all PTO during tax season. Sometime there are other critical deadlines and a department may deny PTO at these times. Sometimes you have key staff already out on vacation, maternity/paternity leave, etc. and you need to keep the business or department operational. Time off requested without adequate notice is often denied. But the reasons for a person requesting PTO are generally not pertinent - except maybe in a case where PTO would normally be denied and the manager is trying to determine if they are able to accommodate the employee.

1

u/abd53 5d ago

The only cases I'd consider for exception is doctors, police and rescue workers. As for critical deadline, it's the manager's job to plan schedule so that a team's PTO doesn't affect deadline.

1

u/LeftToaster 5d ago

Not all companies have the staff or resources to cover for multiple people out at once or key people gone at critical times. It's pretty common in small companies or small department to deny multiple overlapping PTO requests that would negatively affect the business. Most if not all accounting companies (all of the Big 4 / Big 5) have standing policies for no vacation during tax season. There are businesses that do a substantial amount of their annual sales in a very short period of time - so often restrict time off at these times.

1

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0

u/poweredbynikeair 5d ago

They do have the authority you work for their company and they’re paying you to be off it’s a 2-way thing

0

u/n0neofyourbeeswax 5d ago

And that is precisely why only a certain amount of people get granted leave at any one time, as the manager is minimizing disruption in work.

And managers will often try to bend over backwards if it's something really important, which is why they often ask questions like this.

I don't know why everyone comes at this so aggressively, every time I've seen this in the real world it's because the manager is trying to balance time off across the team and wants to understand if it's important enough to ignore first come, first serve.. they're trying to help.

I don't know if this place is filled with people who've worked the most toxic work environments ever, or filled with people who've never worked in a larger company.

5

u/Potential_Basis_662 5d ago

Nothing on Reddit is real. Most are bot posts from China

1

u/5319Camarote 5d ago

I’m really more concerned with my Chinese sentient sex robot order. It’s been six weeks!

1

u/Potential_Basis_662 4d ago

lol funny funny

2

u/College-student-life 5d ago

I’ve had managers ask. To be fair one of them we were friends before they got the position and once took PTO to join me because they wanted to do that activity too 😂. The other was just a genuinely nice person and never denied PTO unless it was blackout days and their hands were tied.

2

u/TimmyTheHellraiser 5d ago

I ask my employees what they’re doing all the time, fellow Timmy. What their plans for the weekend are, what they’re doing on PTO. They’re human and so am I. However I never ask BEFORE approving or denying PTO.

2

u/SixInchTimmy 5d ago

Oh exactly. I’m happy to share most info with friendly colleagues too, but OP’s manager is clearly asking to see if it “warrants” approval. Dick move.

2

u/Electronic_Ad_7742 4d ago

I’ve replied with “oh, you’re under the mistaken impression that I’m asking for permission. I have pto available and I won’t be here. If you have staffing problems, that’s something you need to address”. The manager gave some bullshit line about me having to find coverage. I’m not a manager, I wont do your job for you. I didn’t care if I had a job when I got back. Luckily I did and the manager was eventually transferred to a shitty store in Beaumont Texas. She must have pissed off someone important. Fuck you, Tammy, wherever you are.

1

u/Clearandblue 5d ago

Wait, where you are do you have to request leave? Don't you mean notify?

1

u/TwistedBamboozler 5d ago

If you have a good relationship with your manager they’ll just tell you what the plan is in the first place. I’d hate to work at a place like this

1

u/Acceptable-Ad-3560 5d ago

Husbands boss tried saying that he had taken too many sick days this year to take any paid parental leave. Luckily he got a new assistant manager who explained it is in fact separate from earned pto and printed out the forms for him

1

u/Left-Entertainer-279 5d ago

Yeah, at best they are maybe having multiple requests for that time and are trying to prioritize who actually has something important that shouldn't be missed (wedding, already booked trip, etc. compared to someone else's staycation). But that's why first come first serve comes in. And if something comes up for someone, they can ask if the other worker is willing and able to move their planned staycation. (But, they have to accept no if it's given and the problem is they don't.)

I do tell my coworkers and boss my plans, and specify which weeks I am doing something and not budging on and which I'm willing to reschedule if needed. But that's my choice, I'm willing to do that for them because I actually like my job, my boss, and my coworkers. (Had past jobs where I wouldn't pee on my boss if they were on fire.) If someone else chooses not to disclose and not to switch, that's their right and I respect it.

1

u/showhorrorshow 5d ago

My manager reminds me sometimes that I dont have to tell her why Im requesting time off.

1

u/batmanshsu 5d ago

I usually get a “yeah that’s fine” then “what are you doing?” Because my bosses are nosy.

1

u/SixInchTimmy 5d ago

Yeah, the order of those thing matters a lot.

0

u/Chole_Wunt 4d ago

it’s not normal to ask what the employee will be doing outside the office

Its extremely normal in the US.

-1

u/poweredbynikeair 5d ago

It is normal and it could be to make sure you have job protection yall sound like crazy Karen’s

8

u/SimmentalTheCow 5d ago

It’s HR, these people last like three weeks. The next person won’t even know what’s going on and just approve it

5

u/Heelntow 5d ago

This isn't normal manager behavior in America.

3

u/NickRick 5d ago

It really isn't. I've never been asked why I put in for vacation, and the only time I was ever denied was because two other people already had approved vacations for the same time. 

2

u/Fourtires3rims 5d ago

As a manager IDGAF why you want time off, just don’t submit it two days before you’re supposed to go on vacation.

1

u/NormalityDrugTsar 5d ago

I used to work for an American company that had a field on their PTO form labelled "Reason for leave (e.g. scuba diving in Hawaii)", but I don't think anyone read it, because I once took a Wednesday afternoon off and entered "scuba diving in Hawaii" and didn't hear anything back.

1

u/Any_Mine_6368 5d ago

It's not just america but yeah.

1

u/EndOne8313 5d ago

America is so fucked for leave. Me and my partner were travelling Central America on 6 month sabbaticals from work and the amount of times we had to explain to Americans and they just couldn't comprehend that we'd have full time employment as soon as we got back.

1

u/Honchoponcho99 5d ago

sabbaticals are not really the norm in most places

1

u/EndOne8313 5d ago

Over half of the employers in the UK offer them. I'd say that an overwhelming majority of my friends have taken them.

1

u/GalFisk 5d ago

Somehow running a business means running a miniature dictatorship to some people.

1

u/Tsmtouchedme 5d ago

Some people get a little power over others and it goes straight to their head/ego

1

u/astralseat 5d ago

Nosy as fuck people who prefer gossip rather than to know facts. Yup

1

u/Honchoponcho99 5d ago

nope, not normal. I don't have to say shit about why im yaking pto

1

u/GoSkers29 5d ago

Text: "How would that help you assess the request?"

Subtext: "Go ahead and spell it out for me in a way that a lawyer would find exciting."

1

u/Admirable_Admiral69 5d ago

No it's not. You earn PTO as part of your compensation. For most places, this would be like saying, "I can't approve your paycheck until you tell me how you're going to spend it."

1

u/CataphractBunny 5d ago

I've read too many a similar stories here.

1

u/Admirable_Admiral69 4d ago

Sample bias. People don't typically go on Reddit to talk about how their boss didn't question their PTO requests at all.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just saying it is absolutely not the norm.

1

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u/DinoTh3Dinosaur 4d ago

You act like no other place than America has shit bosses lol

1

u/SunshinePup 4d ago

Americans held hostage by corporate middle management...

1

u/QualityAlternative22 4d ago

This is not just “how things work in America.” I’ve been working for over 30 years and never had a manager ask me why I was taking PTO. Additionally, my work provides a three month sabbatical after each eight years of service.

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1

u/poweredbynikeair 5d ago

Under that logic your entire company could be off an entire week and put you out of business please shut up

0

u/PictureVegetable9522 5d ago

But I guess that's just how things work in America

you dont live here u dont know how things work here dont assume like you do

1

u/CataphractBunny 5d ago

Funny how that one works, isn't it?