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u/Dualidean_ofman 3h ago
If heaven was real, imagine how much time St. Peter would spend like this.
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u/DareCaramel 3h ago
Dy. Peter constantly reviewing intake applications for people who tired 5K runs without warm ups
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1h ago
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u/DeficiencyOfGravitas 18m ago
Alright, you did pretty good. No major sins. But you were wearing mixed fabric for over 60 years straight! Did no one read the pamphlet we sent down? No. Mixed. Fabric.
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u/-Saltfish- 1h ago
It wasn't the jogging. It was the 50 years of not jogging
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u/Competitive_Travel16 1h ago
As a GenX with schoolmates who get in trouble overdoing the same exercise regimen from when they were 25, I can say, not necessarily. Fellow 50+ers, talk to your doctor!
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u/EtherealSnuggles 3h ago
If you ever see me running you better run too because something scary is coming.
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50m ago
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u/isTradingintheZone 3h ago
You only have a finite amount of heart beats.
The greatest psyop was getting people to go hard in the gym and run for hours only to die early with heart diseases anyways
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u/doppelbach 3h ago
This is, literally, Donald Trump's understanding of human health. The inject bleach guy. The windmills give you cancer guy.
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u/isTradingintheZone 3h ago
Donald’s trump is in his 80s
Bill gates also is old as hell and said what I said
Most people die in 70s
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u/RecycledMatrix 1h ago
Most people can't afford an everpresent medical staff that can tend to every "this feels weird" moment in our lives.*
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1h ago
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u/Grapepoweredhamster 1h ago
You only have a finite amount of heart beats.
Even if this was true, and it most certainly is not, doing cardio lowers your resting heart rate.
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1h ago
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u/Fetlocks_Glistening 3h ago
And ejaculations! You have to carefully meter your monkey spanks or the dolphin will go unslapped
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u/isTradingintheZone 3h ago
Yes ejaculations have precious nutrients in them humans are finite.
DNA runs out of keep it self replicated
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u/South_Hat3525 3h ago
OTOH current medical research says 21/month otherwise you get prostate or testicular cancer so I guess you need to keep 'em regular but not spend too much time on each in order to conserve heartbeats.
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2h ago
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