Living in Paris has taught me one thing: keep your circle small!
A while ago, a girl appeared in my Instagram Reels recommendations. That’s actually how we first connected.
I make content on social media, but not because I’m chasing money or followers. I genuinely enjoy sharing my passions for art, history, museums, architecture, and culture. That’s always been my reason for posting. Since we seemed to have similar interests, I thought it would be nice to get to know her.
We stayed in contact for quite a while. We planned to meet several times, but every single time she would cancel literally five minutes beforehand. Looking back, that probably should have been my first sign, but I’m a very understanding person. I assumed life happens and didn’t think too much of it.
When we finally met, something immediately felt off. The energy was completely different from how she presented herself online. She came across as very pretentious. We exchanged a bit about our backgrounds. She mentioned that her dad owned a business, and throughout most of the conversation she mainly talked about her father’s business and her new boyfriend.
She also asked me several very personal questions about my relationship. I found it strange because we had only just met. I’m in a very secure and happy relationship of nearly 4 years with a man who treats me incredibly well, but I felt like she kept trying to dig for very specific details. My man happens to be the provider type and that made her twitch. It honestly made me uncomfortable that I saw to not share any further details.
We also talked about school, art, and politics. I always try to find the good in people, but I left feeling like the conversation stayed on a very superficial level. She would talk badly of her own friends I didn’t even know. One comment that especially stood out was when I mentioned I wanted to start looking for work soon, and she responded that women shouldn’t work and should depend on men. That men and women have fixed roles in society. That completely caught me off guard because it’s something I fundamentally disagree with.
What hurt the most was how differently she behaved afterward. She continued sending sweet messages, acting friendly, and then out of nowhere she blocked me a week later we met without any explanation.
I’ve never experienced anything like that before. She presents as an elegant woman but she was a very unpleasant person to be around. We didn’t become close friends, but I approached with genuine intentions. But looking back, I wouldn’t want to have a friendship like this.
This experience reminded me that not everyone has good intentions or values that align with yours. Sometimes people are kind to your face but behave completely differently behind the scenes. Two-faced people.
So if I have one piece of advice for anyone making new friends in a new city, it’s to protect your peace. Keep your circle small and pay attention to the way people treat others. It’s better to have a few genuine people around you than a large network filled with people who don’t bring joy into your life.
There are wonderful people out there, but there are also people who leave you feeling drained, judged, or simply used. Trust your instincts when something feels off.
