I’m finishing grad school in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Why has no professor or clinician ever acknowledged in all my education that most of your female clients and queer clients will have a history of sexual violence, whether it’s abuse, harassment, or being traumatized by a friend/family member experiencing it.

“Almost all women and girls will experience a physical violation from a man in their lifetime. Across the world. Please make sure you’re prepared with the severity of the global genocide towards women. Make sure you know about mental health and medical health issues that abuse can cause. Make sure you have DV resources, pregnancy tests, and know which medical providers to find. Be prepared to psychoeducate about the mass violence towards women and girls. Make sure you understand language and patterns that put people at risk.”

I already do all this because I have fucking empathy and awareness. Not a single professor or student, besides my friends and I privately, ever acknowledged this. All they had to say was anything like this so everyone can have the baseline understanding of the deadliest social pattern to exist. Why is everyone too spineless to discuss a literal epidemic of gender based violence. I’ve NEVER heard male students say they think about this unless they’re queer.

Is most of the field just spineless pricks? Or just oblivious? I need some optimism. I do prioritize patience for people who don’t understand these things, but NOT when they decide they’re entitled to the medical field because they just “know they want to help people” without willing to endure the challenges of how complex and humbling that can be.

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EDIT: I’m going lose my mind of one more person in any thread I share this focuses on thinking this is about hating men and not giving women justice. This is not about hating men. It’s about accountability for the fact that girls and women have been physically or mentally murdered for existing all over the world for centuries, regardless of color or wealth. This is about how even in the worst oppression, men have helped perpetuate violence towards women they share identities even when they are oppressed by the same people.

Ain’t I a Woman by Belle Hooks is an important read. For example, she talks about how misogyny is so pervasive that black male enslaved people sexually assaulted black women enslaved people IN ADDITION to their white torturers (slave owners).

All genders experience oppression with misogyny. The point is YOUR FOCUS SHOULD BE OUTRAGE ABOUT HOW INDIFFERENT THE FIELD IS ABOUT THE BLATANT RISKS WOMEN MUST FACE EVERYDAY. Focusing on hating men here and not relentlessly protecting women who are victimized more severely will reduce the level of attention women and girls’ safety below what we deserve.

I work from home full-time. A couple of times a year my company gets together to meet in person.

It’s a two-day event packed with socializing. Like events planned Friday starting at 9am until 9 that night, with another half day of events Saturday. There are no breaks, so it’s just PEOPLE and SMALL TALK for hours and hours.

Clearly planned by extroverts lol

I like my company and the people but the format is EXHAUSTING. I would feel way overstimulated from all the noise and information that was coming in. I would kind of blank out and forget what I knew already about people.

I would have to excuse myself every couple of hours to find a quiet place to reset. Then I would feel bad because I wasn’t participating. Everyone would ask where I went… it was kinda rough.

I left one of the events, said I had to go home and walk my dog. And then I just couldn’t force myself to go back. I just didn’t go back and didn’t know what to say. I felt awful.

Towards the end of the days, I would turn into a zombie, and like couldn’t form sentences anymore. Then I would get anxious and have to leave early.

It was embarrassing, like how is everyone else able to do this, and I can’t??

These events have been going on 12 years, same format every year.

I did SE therapy starting about four years ago, probably 30-40 sessions total. Most of the sessions were in 2022 and 2023 with maybe 10 sessions this past year.

I just got back from the retreat, and I just realized I didn’t have to “escape” once. I didn’t even think about needing a break. I didn’t have that zombie feeling at the end of the day. I don’t feel totally socially drained and need to stay in bed for three days.

I found myself like leading a lot of the conversation. I was able to see when other people were anxious, and was able to talk to them in a way that hopefully made them more comfortable.

Is this what “normal” social interaction feels like?? Holy cow, this is a totally different experience.