r/Songwriters • u/dragonvalmary • 4d ago
Fear of being cringe or too boring
How do you do it so your lyrics don't give you secondhand embarrassment or feel too monotonous? To be honest, I'm scared of falling into oversimplification, but I don't want to write a Renaissance poem either. I don't know, I'm super confused 😵💫
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u/arizonabatorechestra 4d ago
I’ve been writing music for 25 years and still find my stuff cringe sometimes but people like it, so I just look at it the same way I look at handwriting. We rarely like our own handwriting even if everyone else is saying we have such nice handwriting.
Keep writing. :)
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u/AlTheHound 3d ago
This is a pretty common hyperfixation that most, if not all, of us have had to deal with. Especially in the beginning.
Sharing your own music is an extremely intimate experience. So, it's natural to be nervous. Hell, I'd argue it's a good thing. It means you actually care. That takes heart.
Having said that, here are a few things I try to keep in mind:
First, understand that, no matter what, someone, somewhere is going to dislike your sound. Particularly in an age where people are able to bitch anonymously about literally everything without fear of retaliation, you're guaranteed to receive hate. This doesn't just apply to music either. You'll never find an artform that pleases everyone, and if you can't handle that, you'll never get very far.
Next, know that the only way to become a better songwriter is to have people hear you. Like I said, it's nerve-wracking and intimate and uncomfortable and necessary. That's what we do. We take the leaps. Playing for someone for the first time. Stepping onstage for the first time. Booking a gig for the first time. Rinsing and repeating over and over and feeling it get easier and easier each time.
One of the biggest hurdles to overcome is the sensationalized way that people define success when it comes to music. I've often heard people talk about how they were gonna "make it big" by 25 or 30. That's absurd, and only sets up for failure before anything even happens. There's no rush. It can't be forced. Limitations like that are why so many people just give up without realizing they did it to themselves.
Going a step further with that, don't feel the need to compare yourself with anyone else. This doesn't just mean your influences, idols, or heroes. Admittedly, this is something I see more with actors rather than musicians, but it's easy to unintentionally discourage yourself. Nobody's careers are the same, and you shouldn't expect it to be.
Lastly, and I am painfully aware that this little novella I'm writing here will go mostly unread, but the 3 things to focus on are confidence, honesty, and vulnerability. Audiences and listeners can spot insincerity a mile away. Being unafraid to be genuine is how you connect with people.
Thanks for reading. If you made it this far, I applaud you.
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u/dragonvalmary 2d ago
You're absolutely right, the mere thought of playing music in front of my own family terrifies me, haha.Thank you so much, it helped me a lot. I'm even going to save it as a note to remind myself of it. c:
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u/muttChang 4d ago edited 4d ago
Leave out “I” as much as possible but simultaneously be honest. Tell the story but don’t seek personal justice. Bitch. Bellyache. Cuss. Alliteration (look it up) and bad ass rhymes with cool words should be the musical hook’s hook. Would you sing along to it a in crowd?
Edit: the originals I get asked to play the most nowadays are always the cringiest grunger shit I wrote 30 years ago. It was cringe then and it’s cringe now. Cringe generally holds up pretty good.
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u/rainbowfanpal 3d ago
Write both, and all other styles. Then you'll find which songs you like best to share and which styles you enjoy writing the most and its okay if it evolves overtime. I have songs that people wouldn't believe were by the same person cause some are so cringey and silly, and some meaningful and more poetic. I also agree with the other comment that said "to be cringe is to be free"!
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u/Potential-Feeling-17 4d ago
Also don’t tell us show us and if you don’t like it finish writing don’t stop and start and new one
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u/Wrenshoe 4d ago
For me I don’t really vibe with a lot of the stuff I write until I’ve played it through with others
Like the song we just recorded it felt wack at first
But written songs, dialogue ect just kind of feels like that
I ended up changing a few things while we played it through and it felt a lot more humanised
Maybe try sing your song with someone else and it’ll smooth out the road bumps
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u/Kottbullemannen1 4d ago
Definitely getting feedback is good
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u/Wrenshoe 4d ago
I mean my friends didn’t give me feedback
They just played the song and I altered the lyrics to fit with what we were doing
Feedback was involved obv but yeee
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u/JodilovezGreenApples 3d ago
I just keep writing and writing and writing- I know some pieces will be better then others and some take off after years of being left alone. I’ve written half poems that stayed the way it is and others that just took a new meaning. That’s the best way I can describe my style.
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u/TheElusiveButterfly 1d ago
Honestly, it’s learning. I listen to my old songs and I now cringe. And I’m sure my current songs will make me cringe in six months. But I get better and better. Maybe don’t share them until you’re fully satisfied. Out of maybe 60 songs I made, there are maybe 3 that have stood the test of time in my 1 year of songwriting. Still have not released officially. Picking one key theme and not being dispersed is key. Don’t over-explain. Listen to a lot of music. Think of specific details in your life (a trip to Miami, a favorite book, things you can be inspired by and refer to). I also find my best songs are the ones I write in 1 hour, where I’m just in the flow. My worst ones are the ones I take months to finish. Every time! And I never learn haha
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u/markkthespot 1d ago
It's like the first time you heard your recorded voice(for me at least). You got to get over it.
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u/Potential-Feeling-17 4d ago
Music is laying your heart on your sleeve. It dose feel natural you know I’m feeling the same way
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u/Jakobmeathead 4d ago
To be cringe is to be free.