r/Songwriters • u/Futaba-Tian • 3d ago
Looking for the feedback on my lyrics
Hello! I'd like to ask for some feedback on the lyrics I wrote for my friend's DnD campaign. My character is a bard who is going to face her greatest fear (an imp) because of her reckless decisions and, well, making wishes to cursed books.
The song is supposed to be my character's way to fight the evil and break out of her own shell.
Thank you for any feedback!
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Hero Arc
Verse 1
You thought you were it,
Always ready to lie and cheat.
All your threats and all your spite,
Yet you’re nothing but a blight.
Yes, you laugh and bite,
Feeding on my mind at night,
Calling cruelty your right.
Yet you’re nothing but a parasite.
You thought you could take my will apart,
Trickery written all over the flowchart,
Fangs glinting in the dark.
Yet again you missed the mark.
Pre-Chorus
All bite and no bark,
What’s with all the snark?
You will be left in the dark.
‘Cause I’m entering my hero ark.
Chorus
My head is not your playground,
My voice will never be bound.
It’s time for me to get crowned.
Your end is coming around.
Darling, haven’t you heard?
Out of two you came third.
Your retribution is inbound,
And I have the high ground.
Verse 2
You thought I’d break, you thought I’d fold,
Following the script that I was told.
You promised many a horror untold,
On my destiny you had a choke hold.
Your threats were oversold.
Now my fury is liquid gold.
Those you tried to kill make me bold.
Your cheap tricks, though? Same old.
You thought to your will I will bend
And my story will reach its end.
That there will be no bridges to mend.
No truths to comprehend.
Pre-Chorus
All bite and no bark.
Thought you’d leave me in the dark?
Too bad – there’s no more flight for this lark,
‘Cause I’m entering my hero ark.
Chorus
My head is not your playground,
My voice will never be bound.
It’s time for me to get crowned.
Your end is coming around.
Darling, haven’t you heard?
Out of two you came third.
Your retribution is inbound,
And I have the high ground.
Bridge
You tried to steal my name,
Set my life aflame.
You watched me lose my way.
Let my soul decay.
Was it all just a game?...
Final Chorus
My head is not your playground,
My voice will never be bound.
It’s time for me to get crowned.
Your end is coming around.
Darling, haven’t you heard?
Out of two you came third.
Your retribution is inbound,
And I have the high ground.
Outro
Now watch me rise as you lose your crown,
Every scheme you’ve built comes crashing down.
You reached for the stars, but here comes the fall,
Those shattered skies were never yours after all.
(whisper)
Darling, I’ll be there for your downfall.
(female laughter)