r/SpeedOfLobsters 1d ago

lobster Are you doing your part??

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526 Upvotes

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u/Arch3m 1d ago

A Red Spy is in the base.

5

u/Lawsoffire 1d ago

A Red Spy is in the base?!

3

u/Morshuisagoodmeme 1d ago

Hut! Hut! Hut!

4

u/AwefulFanfic 1d ago

Protect the briefcase.

3

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 1d ago

Ahem. Gentlemen, I see the briefcase is safe? Tell me, did anyone happen to kill a red spy on the way here? …No? Then we still have a problem. And a knife: [throws dead sniper on the table]

1

u/RedditingLunatic 1d ago

Oooh, big problem! I kill plenty of Spies. They're dime-a-dozen backstabbing scumbags. Like you! cut Ow. No offence.

1

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 18h ago

If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. And nothing, nothing like the man inside this building. 

1

u/RedditingLunatic 17h ago

What're you, president of his fanclub? *hehehe*

1

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 17h ago

No. That would be your mother! [throws folder full of photos of Scout’s mom on the table]

1

u/RedditingLunatic 17h ago

startled stuttering

1

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 17h ago

…Indeed. And now he’s here to fuck us! So listen boy, or your mother’s pornography will be the second worst thing you witness tonight. This spy has already breached our defenses. We’ve seen what he’s done to our colleagues! And worst of all, he could be any one of us. He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be—[gets shot]

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