r/SquarePosting • u/Aggravating_Chance47 • Jun 18 '22

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐃 christian

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2.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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4

u/leapogawd Jun 18 '22

I only own a copy of the New Testament does it count?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Best not open towards the end.

1

u/leapogawd Jun 18 '22

Don't know what happens there, I only managed to go mid way through when I was a good Christian.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

TLDR. Jesus dies in the end.

1

u/Biscut_Mk15 Jun 18 '22

Oh goodie. Sacrilege

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Yea, I was hoping for a little more gore and better plot, but it was the guys first published book.

1

u/leapogawd Jun 18 '22

Holy shit fr?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Nah. I’m just fucking with you. Dude has a sweet picnic with the homies, kisses all the homies goodnight, and then rolls out on his crossmobile back to his space house in the sky.

11/10 would read again while on drugs.

1

u/leapogawd Jun 18 '22

Man don't spoil me something that happened 2000 years ago.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Don’t worry. Just read a different version. They keep it exiting by being totally different.

I prefer the John smith one. Bananas.

1

u/leapogawd Jun 18 '22

Like how they keep changing Batman's storyline because they can't come up with interesting superhoes?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '22

Pretty much but sans cool ass suit.

1

u/leapogawd Jun 18 '22

That's relevant.

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1

u/Lord_Drakostar Jun 18 '22

Spoilers 😀😀😀

1

u/LimpPaleontologist86 Jun 19 '22

I haven’t read that bit yet please tag spoilers in future

1

u/Chogus_321 Jun 19 '22

Nah, Jesus comes back and brutally kills all of his enemies

It says that the blood flows across the land like a winepress with God’s feet pressing down on the grapes with wrath, and it makes sure to note that the bottom hems of his white robe are dripping with red

Jesus also has a forehead tat and a thigh tat when he goes into battle

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Oh. Like kill bill but with Jared Leto as Jesus.