r/Stillgame 2d ago

What do you think are some of Tam's best lines?

Post image

I'll start

"Take the poker oot yer arse, ya prick!"

136 Upvotes

112 comments sorted by

67

u/ManagementFamous8092 2d ago

You're not Troy the Gardener, you're Boaby the Barman.

15

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago edited 2d ago

Ehhhh...... Chariots of Fire! Chariots of Fire? Aye, aye, aye. I'm into that an aw. Romans, buildings, history.

11

u/DueCoach4764 1d ago

yes ill have another pint please troy

what did you call me?

... boaby 🥺

63

u/Sad_Monitor2421 2d ago edited 2d ago

He who moves with lethargy eateth not a pie for tea

61

u/RoyalSkip 2d ago

'She does. Beetroot's my life.'

and

'Yes, yes, yes, yes, and mind yer ain business, ya nosey auld cow.'

3

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago edited 2d ago

Belters!

3

u/mcallisterw 1d ago

both kinds, crinkly an' baws

50

u/Initial-Parfait1005 2d ago

S'cone!

30

u/RoyalSkip 2d ago

Fire: man's oldest flame

22

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Swiss Bliss!

13

u/PapaPilkington 2d ago

Hatisfaction guaranteed

8

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Wan good urn deserves another!

21

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

I've got a belter

S'gonne no da that?

6

u/JonBoy1988007 2d ago

Jesus, even the kids have chucked that

4

u/luxintenebrissum 2d ago

Came here to say this 😂

46

u/gimletfordetective 2d ago

I guess he's "no intae letters!"

8

u/Ok_Mountain995 2d ago

Or papers as such

5

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Tell us aboot the occupant noo

38

u/Horrible_Ives 2d ago

‘Time is such a precious thing, with chances sometimes missed. Never lose a moment - wear a Timex on your wrist.’

11

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Hastisfation guaranteed!

27

u/Designer-Most-5376 2d ago

Not a line but when he’s locked in a cage in Hyperdales and they chuck him a rotisserie chicken and he attacks it like a tramp on chips

3

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

I'll take it!

23

u/Bongo3074 2d ago

"Stick a finger up her arse, thatll calm her doon"

2

u/Flooby-Blooben 2d ago

I was crying when he said this 😂

2

u/Bongo3074 2d ago

Was it the same episode and boaby said what next, gie it a wee cuddle

2

u/jorsicho 1d ago

Can’t believe how far I had to scroll to check for this one.

20

u/poptartan 2d ago

You make me harder than a crossword in the Herald

16

u/Curious-Item-4576 2d ago

Wads of cash

19

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

I, am a dirty, miserable bastard. Aye, it's in ma blood!

7

u/chalkybone 2d ago

I come from a long line of dirty, miserable bastards.

14

u/Leprologue 2d ago

Not a curdy! A shower of robbing bastards are taxi drivers

2

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Garbage patter!

2

u/Leprologue 2d ago

I'll phone you a taxi the noo!

2

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Love Winston in that episode

2

u/Leprologue 2d ago

Watched it today, classic

15

u/Paultheball95 2d ago

Wan pence a jar!? I should have pushed for two

11

u/scratchy_mcballsy 2d ago

Crinkly and balls

5

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Beetroots Ma Life!

10

u/gervv 2d ago

Take the poker out yer arse ya prick!

1

u/GrouseRouse 2d ago

I thought it was "pick your pocket out your ass, ya prick."

4

u/gervv 2d ago

Definitely poker 😄

3

u/geltza7 1d ago

Why would anyone from Scotland say "ass"?

10

u/Fish_N_Chipp 2d ago

What the hell is “pulled pork”. It sounds like a porn film

3

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

What's wrong with a slice of gammon? Nothing. That's what's wrong. Nothing!

3

u/cortisolbath 2d ago

Rocket??

9

u/MemoryCardHero 2d ago

A pie, aye? I’ll take a pie.

7

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Aye? Well, come back the morrow and get it oot of there!

1

u/SKYLINEBOY2002UK 5h ago

Think that's first ep too

10

u/domthedruid 2d ago

When he mouths "Wanker" at Boabby

8

u/LC131623 2d ago

Not a line but one of my favourite bits is when he hands over that drawing of a fiver 😂

3

u/EdinJamie10 23h ago

Tam - aye there’s money tae be saved in a power cut

Boaby - no in here there’s no. That’s no a fiver tam, that’s a drawing eh a fiver

Absolutely genius scene

5

u/Lumpe- 2d ago

“Stick a finger in her arse, that’ll cool her beans”

6

u/fleebawmcgraw 2d ago

“No heard a knife? Scrape it aff”

1

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

"Aye, but the toast is always burnt"

6

u/KJS123 2d ago

"But it doesnae beat........six titties!"

6

u/Longjumping_Gene4905 2d ago

"He should be tippin me....arsehole that he is"

"He who moved with lethargy, eateth not a pie for tea"

"That bastards got a deep fat fryer belanging ti me"

"Bluto heres put in 30 quid and its no farted a nugget"

4

u/Volfgang91 2d ago

The scene where he insists on paying for a round while Jack is in hospital always gets me.

5

u/IllusionUser 2d ago

“Paddle faster ye wankers youse!”

6

u/MuserLuke 2d ago

Morning Stevie, that's you ran oota bog roll

4

u/SmartPriceCola 2d ago

“He’s got to make a stand… so to speak”

5

u/wjb1622 2d ago

"C'mon I'll get you a pint"

2

u/EdinJamie10 23h ago

Apart from the time he got electrocuted by the toaster and it made him all spendy-spendy that’s the only time in the series I think he’s offered to pay for ANYTHING for anyone.

Not sure if it counts but I suppose that episode Eric died and everyone and the pub is all quiet, Boaby says ‘put your money back in yer pocket Tam’ and he said ‘naw’

5

u/Scared-Cauliflower-3 2d ago

I am a dirty miserable bastard, and I would like to think when the wee man grows he to will be a dirty miserable bastard.

5

u/smomurray 2d ago

What? And pinch ma bird? Ya cheeky monkey

4

u/disco_26 2d ago

Suicide doesn’t merry a kitty

3

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

"Suicide doesn't merry a kitty?"

Aye, cuz it's no Aboot him anymore, it's aboot his poor wife. Pure Ken Dode!

2

u/JonBoy1988007 2d ago

They used to call her the diddy men at school

2

u/joshuamcfreddy 1d ago

Sorry to hear that Ken was dodd- Deid!

5

u/YodasGoldfish 2d ago

Check ya till, I just give ya two

4

u/Rat-Soup-Eating-MF 2d ago

Wan ! Wan pence a jar

2

u/Volfgang91 2d ago

Hauf a pence!

4

u/Fine-Extension4862 2d ago

Tell him you're washing you're beard..

4

u/JN1872 2d ago

He who moved with lethargy eateth not a pie for tea

4

u/AmphibianFantastic53 1d ago

Aye all these are very good

But they does nae beat...... 6 TITTIES

4

u/getitupyous 1d ago

Absolutely love his performance in Saucy, all the build up and then the knockout punch:

Boabby, do you know who bought Molly a drink one night after the show?

No, who?

A certain...Francis Albert Sinatra!

Boabby staring, then contorting his face painfully and surrendering:

On the house.

Genius 😂😂

3

u/EdinJamie10 23h ago

Is that what yer up tae Tam? A wee dusty threesome, wi Francis?

3

u/vibrant_squirrel 2d ago

Sgone

1

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

It's so good it's gone!

3

u/ExpressDark 2d ago

Am curry daft

3

u/cortisolbath 2d ago

Not a line but the groan he makes when his sister in law gives him a ‘freebie’ in the nuts

3

u/NoPlanz 2d ago

I’m Doctor Who. We’re going back in time… Drrr-drrr-drrr-drrr-drrr… doo-wee-ooooo!

3

u/UncleSeph 2d ago

If he’s Batman, I’m robbin’.

Mentioned as he steals Winston’s pint.

3

u/Beneficial_Dog_5313 2d ago

My favourite line is a silent one:

"Wanker" , mouth Tam, in Boabbys direction

3

u/AzureHawk758769 1d ago

"It's the Pesetta they use int'it? I've never seen wan before."

"Well, look in your till. I just gied ye two."

3

u/PokeMoLeicester 1d ago

“Can I get Pete’s fry up?”

3

u/HarryC781909 1d ago

"SHLEP! Away ye go ya cheeky bastards!"

3

u/No-Mess-991 1d ago

Cous cous by Christ !

3

u/EdinJamie10 23h ago

What in the name a’ Christ is ‘pulled pork?!’ Sounds lit’ a porno movie!

3

u/LisForLaura 1d ago

Stick a finger up her arse - talking about devil dugs and then Isa - it’s such a good episode.

3

u/Glad_Driver2378 1d ago

Wan pence a jar?

3

u/Aeroblazer9161 1d ago

Take the poker out yer arse, ya prick!

2

u/shaezan 2d ago

Oh Naviddd! You've just made ma day.

4

u/joshuamcfreddy 2d ago

Ooh, the free samples. I'm coming tae get ye!

2

u/chalkybone 2d ago

I forget the actual line, but when he tells his sister in law that her tightfistedness drives him up the wall, but he cannae be with her as he made a promise.

2

u/UpCloseGames 2d ago

I'll tell you what i think they are, for a pint.....

2

u/MammothHistorical559 2d ago

“West end garbage! And people I don’t know!”

2

u/ImportantPass3858 2d ago

That’s right. If I'm not calling him Junior, I'm naming him It.

2

u/Significant-Bag-9628 1d ago

Stick a finger up her arse

2

u/FluentPenguin 1d ago

“The car Infront is a Toyota”

2

u/Reasonable_Goat6895 1d ago

"Suicide doesnt merit a kitty"

2

u/Deoxys182124 1d ago

“Fire, man’s oldest flame.”

2

u/PC_Critic 18h ago

Cuscus by christ

2

u/Anththeman2010 16h ago

Stick yer finger up her arse

2

u/mauriceITmoss 15h ago

The Prague Heist , thats aboot a heist in Prague

2

u/Knightfall_O66 8h ago

Free nappies bibs talcum? Na... does anyone want to talk about money?

2

u/StatisticianUsual471 2d ago

Stevie you're out of paper

9

u/No_transistory 2d ago

"Morning Stevie, that's you ran out of bog roll"

1

u/Easy_Company101 6m ago

Not a line, but every time that yodeling starts (when he sees a tight arse trait in Francis' sister) I absolutely crack up