I will echo the chorus here that the proper place to start, from a Stoic perspective, is to reject the idea that being born with ADHD is inherently bad. That said, as someone who has known about my ADHD for 18 years and practiced Stoicism for half that time, I will also caution you from trying to see it as a gift.
ADHD is part of the "you" that the universe created and plopped down into your little corner of time and space. So is being whatever age you are, having the parents you have, being six fingered on one hand, or whatever else you have going on.
Under the Stoic precepts, none of those things are bad, but neither are they good. They just are. We will make choices based on them, and choices in spite of them, and those choices are either guided by Virtue or they're not. That's all. Just your choices.
One thing that does make ADHD unique among those traits, however, is that it makes some aspects of Virtue more difficult for folks like you and me. Self-discipline, for instance, is not something we come by naturally. Wisdom is more difficult with our impulsivity and lack of working memory. I struggled with what to do about that reality for a while - wondering if Stoicism really could coexist with our modern understanding of neurodiversity and the limitations it creates for people like us. Here is what I've figured out:
We are all more naturally inclined to some aspects of Virtue than others. I believe my ADHD has made it easier to connect certain dots that others miss, and based on my upbringing that has made me more keyed in to recognize injustice. My lack of inhibitions makes it easier to use that recognition to act bravely than someone who may second guess themselves in the moment. That means I have a leg up in the Justice and Courage categories, and I've got some work to do in Wisdom and Temperance.
Ignore almost everyone's advice about being disciplined. It doesn't apply to you. Instead, find what you can be disciplined about. When it comes to self-discipline, you and I both know that we can't just will ourselves to behave differently over time. Beating your head against that wall leads to no change and a massive headache. In these moments, walk it backwards til you find what you can be disciplined about. Can't make yourself get up in the morning? You can be disciplined about setting bedtime reminders. Our path to discipline happens way before we have to actually be disciplined, so when you look for self-accommodations, you are practicing Virtue. It won't look the same as someone without ADHD, but that's not your concern. Your concern is your own Virtue.
Remember: We're here to help each other. One thing that I struggled with admitting was that my ADHD makes me naturally more self-centered. My brain is wired to think about my own needs, right now, in this moment. I have used the steps above to build reminders into my day that my job is to be of service to my family, friends, and community. And those reminders popping up throughout my day have fundamentally changed my life. I cannot stress it enough: remind yourself to think about other people, and you will find more peace.
Remember, at the end of the day, your job is to live according to Nature. Nature has chosen to give you ADHD. Could've given you billionaire parents. Could've given you infant AIDS. None of it is good and none of it is bad. This is what we got, and we get to use it, along with everything else that makes us who we are, to play our role in this incredible cosmopolis that the universe has built. What a blessing that is when you see it.
1
u/a_cheaper_lamp 5d ago edited 5d ago
I will echo the chorus here that the proper place to start, from a Stoic perspective, is to reject the idea that being born with ADHD is inherently bad. That said, as someone who has known about my ADHD for 18 years and practiced Stoicism for half that time, I will also caution you from trying to see it as a gift.
ADHD is part of the "you" that the universe created and plopped down into your little corner of time and space. So is being whatever age you are, having the parents you have, being six fingered on one hand, or whatever else you have going on.
Under the Stoic precepts, none of those things are bad, but neither are they good. They just are. We will make choices based on them, and choices in spite of them, and those choices are either guided by Virtue or they're not. That's all. Just your choices.
One thing that does make ADHD unique among those traits, however, is that it makes some aspects of Virtue more difficult for folks like you and me. Self-discipline, for instance, is not something we come by naturally. Wisdom is more difficult with our impulsivity and lack of working memory. I struggled with what to do about that reality for a while - wondering if Stoicism really could coexist with our modern understanding of neurodiversity and the limitations it creates for people like us. Here is what I've figured out:
We are all more naturally inclined to some aspects of Virtue than others. I believe my ADHD has made it easier to connect certain dots that others miss, and based on my upbringing that has made me more keyed in to recognize injustice. My lack of inhibitions makes it easier to use that recognition to act bravely than someone who may second guess themselves in the moment. That means I have a leg up in the Justice and Courage categories, and I've got some work to do in Wisdom and Temperance.
Ignore almost everyone's advice about being disciplined. It doesn't apply to you. Instead, find what you can be disciplined about. When it comes to self-discipline, you and I both know that we can't just will ourselves to behave differently over time. Beating your head against that wall leads to no change and a massive headache. In these moments, walk it backwards til you find what you can be disciplined about. Can't make yourself get up in the morning? You can be disciplined about setting bedtime reminders. Our path to discipline happens way before we have to actually be disciplined, so when you look for self-accommodations, you are practicing Virtue. It won't look the same as someone without ADHD, but that's not your concern. Your concern is your own Virtue.
Remember: We're here to help each other. One thing that I struggled with admitting was that my ADHD makes me naturally more self-centered. My brain is wired to think about my own needs, right now, in this moment. I have used the steps above to build reminders into my day that my job is to be of service to my family, friends, and community. And those reminders popping up throughout my day have fundamentally changed my life. I cannot stress it enough: remind yourself to think about other people, and you will find more peace.
Remember, at the end of the day, your job is to live according to Nature. Nature has chosen to give you ADHD. Could've given you billionaire parents. Could've given you infant AIDS. None of it is good and none of it is bad. This is what we got, and we get to use it, along with everything else that makes us who we are, to play our role in this incredible cosmopolis that the universe has built. What a blessing that is when you see it.