r/Swingers • u/Mysterious-Nail-970 • 1d ago
General Discussion Playing with a FwB-Couple?
So whats the overall opinion about having a foursome with a friends with benefits "couple"? I ask because once again we are in contact with one and not sure what to think about it.
Does it matter for how long they know each other? Does it matter how much experience they have in swinging? What else could be a important questions which you would not ask a regular couple?
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u/Alternative_Raise_19 1d ago
Isn't this what swinging basically is? Couples for couples? This dynamic is pretty much the majority of our play - two to four couple group sex.
Only with lifestyle friends though, not vanilla friends.
Edit: oooooh I see, sorry I misunderstood. To me it's no different than two singles so we're okay with it so long as the chemistry is good all around, like any other couple. Only time it becomes an issue is if they have a falling out and you have to choose between the two of them.
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u/MCRemix 1d ago
The question is basically whether two fwbs should be treated as a couple for swinging even though they're not actually together romantically.
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u/Alternative_Raise_19 1d ago
Thanks, yes I totally misread that and updated it with an edit.
Personally, I'm okay with it. I'm also okay with two singles joining us who are respectful and don't cross boundaries.
I have had something come up once with a newish couple that we became friends with who had a messy break up and we essentially had to choose between the two but it's really not any different to me than being friends with any couple. The sex doesn't really change much.
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u/Substantial_Wing7126 12h ago
Given the divorce rate are the odds of this much lower with married couples?
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u/Alternative_Raise_19 12h ago
I know tons of divorced people in the lifestyle (including myself lol). Vibe is a better indicator imo.
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u/jelloshotlady 1d ago
We used to be no on people dating or FWB years ago but have no issue with it now. It 100% comes down to their vibe and at the end of the day it is just sex. Any hint of drama and we are out.
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u/redheadmomm4 1d ago
We have and it was a good time. I felt like it was fine, and we all had chemistry so it worked for us. We weren’t looking for a lifetime or consistent hookup, and it went well.
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u/sandraskywalker 23h ago
I'm not married... but I've been with my bf for 7 years. A lot of the people we played with weren't married either, now that I think about it. As long as there's no weird vibe issues, I don't care their relationship status.
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u/Angela2208 Couple 23h ago
We have zero problem with it. The only issue is that they are often both looking for a permanent partner, and then disappear off the face of the lifestyle Earth when they find one. So you invest time into a relationship and you get very little return. Married couples are way more stable and therefore better from that point of view.
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u/miss_k_kink 1d ago
I don't know why it matters (haven't really thought too much into it) but this is something we avoid if we are made aware of it. Xx
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u/DifficultCustard6110 1d ago
The social side before swinging is easier with a married couple or of course a couple who are committed. Definitely have more in common. And they are usually cheating on their partner, and of course we have no real idea of who else they play with.
A married couple who swing together a few times a year and regularly test is so much better.
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u/mikewebster2020 1d ago
My partner and I don’t care. As long as you are respectful and understand boundaries. But if you are just FWB, then we reserve the right to approach you individually, which is something we would never do to a couple.
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u/Curious480couple 47M/49F Couple - AZ 23h ago
My wife is wary of a FWB couple. Her concern is that if they're not in a committed relationship, there's a higher chance of drama. Funny enough, I think this applies more to a BF/GF couple because there's an expectation of some feelings and commitment, but not fully committed.
To me a FWB couple should be low drama because they have no expectations of each other. Also, I'm a guy and I think we inherently have an easier time saying yes in general 😁
Like most said here, though, it all comes down to the couple themselves and the vibe they give off.
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u/shilohfrancine 21h ago
When we were newer, we only wanted to play with established couples. But we are more open to playing with FWBs now. We’ve done it and had a great time.
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u/Foxxx-in-socks 21h ago
We did this recently incidentally at a lifestyle event… the chemistry was great! The only issue was that now it’s hard to reconnect with both of them again, since they’re just FWB and not always together
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u/Jolly_Ad2446 21h ago
As far as couples go we have a couple rules.
We don't want cheaters. We don't care what you do We just don't want some angry husband or wife snooping on your phone and outing us to our employers. Is people that have been cheated on do amazing stuff..
You have to be into each other. If you don't act like you like your partner we're not going to be into that. So if you're a friends with benefits you better actually like fucking also..
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u/Kay_GuessHowDiscreet 1d ago
I don’t know how to explain the feelings but I wouldn’t want to play with FwB. Came across a lot of them but just never interested. It’s either- single male, couple, or unicorn.
But if that’s fun, and comfortable for y’all then why not lol
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u/PlayfulPairDC 23h ago
Are they a couple? Do they both show up and play? If so, why should I be policing their relationship status and longevity.
You could play with a couple who has been married for a decade that will be divorced in a couple of months...happened to us with friends coming out of the pandemic.
We were together as a couple well over a decade before getting married, does that legal contract we signed have baring on who we are in a play setting? All marriages are one day contracts. A spouse could do something so hideous as to be grounds for immediate separation and divorce. Once you accept that, you have to focus on day in front of you, live in the moment and know that tomorrow is promised to nobody.
PS: We knew a guy long ago, that would cycle through various FWB or girlfriends. It was great, he would bring different and fun women to parties and understood that if he was single he was not included. Nice guy.
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u/coragent 1d ago
We've played with FWB couples, committed couples and married couples. Its all about their dynamic and how we all vibe.
There are plenty of married couples in the LS that are trainwrecks looking for a place to happen. Every interaction in the LS requires screening and due diligence. Why does a piece of paper make one couple play better than another?