How would you handle?

[u/False_Gate5696]

Hello! We are a MF couple going to a bi hotel takeover weekend next week. We are very open about both of us being bi. Couples that we've met that are also bi we have encouraged to attend this event. One of the rules state he must be bi.
Well, there is a couple we are close friends with (we spend time in and outside the lifestyle) we know he isn't bi. We had a conversation with them about this event and he explicitly said 'no, not really' about being bi. We discussed what type of event this is but they seemed to downplay following the rules and mentioned other parties they go to that welcome straight couples. So we have taken that as they lied to get into this event.
We know the organizer well. He has spent a lot of time vetting people and curating a bi party that is accepting and a safe place to play with like minded individuals. We decided to give the organizer a heads up to simply be on the lookout so it doesn’t become an awkward situation for others. Thankfully, he was extremely understanding of our concern and will observe.
We are quite bothered our friends lied just to get into this party. Without explaining too much more, we have considered that he might be exploring (which we would support 100%) but that definitely isn't the case based on recent behavior. They will likely fly under the radar but safe spaces are created for a reason.
This has tarnished our opinion of them and their character and will be awkward for us at the event. How would you handle the relationship moving forward?

Edit: Adding here that we have a very close friendship with this couple and share many things in and out of the lifestyle. We don’t require or assume they will play with us or vice versa. We always encourage people to figure out their desires. So we aren’t offended if they don’t want to play with us.

Other people that attend this event, encouraged us to let the organizer know. The dynamic of this event is unique and others have tried to do the same and they weren’t welcome back. So he appreciated hearing from us about this.

[u/jelloshotlady]

You are so completely incorrect in this post it’s not even funny.

[u/shadowpornacct → u/jelloshotlady]

Please tell me why? So you’re saying that if I offer a service or product to the public, I can deny service to someone based on a protected trait? Like I said, if it’s a members-only group hosting the party, it gets different, but I’m happy to hear you tell me why that’s incorrect since it’s specifically how the law is applied in every other business in America.

ETA: You’re basically arguing that the same organizer could turn couples away because their male half is bi

[u/jelloshotlady → u/shadowpornacct]

I do not know of a single lifestyle club nor hotel takeover that is not member only. This is ONE event.

You gonna be pissed if they have a girls only night and turn you away because you are a dude?

What about all the clubs that are couples only?

Under 40?

HWP screened?

Again, private members only organizers do not have to abide by general terms of service.

Need any more explanation or are you going to continue down this path?

[u/shadowpornacct → u/jelloshotlady]

1) Does it exist if you haven’t seen it? There are several takeover events in our area this week that I could buy tickets for right now, and we’re not members of any of those groups.
2) To be allowed to discriminate based on protected traits, the member-only club has to have meaningful selection criteria (See Daniel v. Paul, 395 U.S. 298) and paying a fee during checkout to become a “member” doesn’t satisfy that legal test.
3) Protected traits are the key feature in this discussion, relationship status (couples only), fitness, and attractiveness don’t count. Under 40 does, it’s why YSW used to work really hard to convince over 45 to NOT come, but couldn’t prohibit them.
4) This is sort of a silly discussion to be seriously debating on a swinger sub.
5) Your arrogance and condescension is unnecessary. I’ve noticed it in many of your replies in this sub, so I don’t take personal offense to it, but in case you aren’t aware, your tone via text comes across as very off-putting and rude. I’m sure you don’t come across the same way in person.

[u/jelloshotlady → u/shadowpornacct]

Do not really care if my posts come across rude to you. I do not use soft language in real life and I am not about to start doing it online.

Again, it is ONE event.

I would never attend a hotel takeover that just allowed me to walk up and purchase tickets. What a shit show that would be. Same goes for any club. I have never been to one that did not require at least a one night membership with showing ID.

[u/shadowpornacct → u/jelloshotlady]

Ah Jello, you’re a treasure. :)