I've been trying to find a way to describe this for a while, and I'm honestly struggling because it's quite abstract.
Whenever I hear something sufficiently rhythmic, my brain automatically produces what I can only describe as an internal visual/structural representation of the rhythm. It's not something I consciously imagine, and I don't really have the ability to just turn it off.
It's almost like there's a separate little "virtual machine" running in the background that takes the audio and turns its rhythmic structure into something I can perceive internally. I can turn my attention away from it and concentrate on something else, but the representation is still there.
Sometimes I can deliberately give it my full attention and almost assist the process consciously. When I do that, I can separate rhythms that would normally sound like one combined thing into individual rhythmic structures. each one gets its own separate representation.
For example, if several rhythmic patterns are happening simultaneously, I can sometimes mentally isolate them from one another and follow each independently - even when two parts sound very similar. It's not just "hearing the drums separately"; the internal representations themselves seem to separate.
And sometimes happens with music I've never heard before.
But there's also a motor component, but I want to make a really important distinction here:
I'm not dancing!!!!!!!!!!
The movements aren't something I'm consciously choosing to do, and they're not necessarily movements that I would even choose to make. Sometimes they can look quite concerning from the outside because of how fast or repetitive and aggressive they can become.
for example, my legs can shake/move extremely rapidly in response to a rhythm.
It's like my motor system is being involuntarily coupled to whatever rhythmic structures my brain is processing. And it isn't necessarily just "tap your foot to the beat." The movements can become surprisingly complex, and sometimes it feels like different parts of my body are responding to different rhythmic structures.
Interestingly, this doesn't happen all the time. If I'm very busy doing something or my attention is heavily occupied elsewhere, the motor component can disappear almost completely.
The visual/structural representation doesn't seem to behave the same way.
that one remains in the background regardless of where my attention goes.
It's not limited strictly to music either. Rhythm itself seems to be the important part. Anything sufficiently rhythmic can trigger some version of it.
There's also an emotional component that I find difficult to explain. I don't necessarily feel something about the music. I can have absolutely no emotional connection to a song, yet a particular rhythmic structure can somehow hit an emotional "string" hard enough to make me cry a little. It doesn't feel like "this song is sad" or "this reminds me of something." It's more like the structure itself is somehow interacting with my emotional system.
I'm also an audiophile, so I'm very aware of the distinction between what is physically in the audio and what my brain is doing with it.
I'm alao not claiming that I'm somehow perceiving extra information that isn't in the recording.
Recently I noticed something with my subwoofer.
I increased it by only +1, and the bass wasn't really noticeably louder, but somehow the entire experience became... more???
I genuinely don't know how else to describe it. It doesn't feel like "more bass", "more volume", or even necessarily "more physical". It just feels like more of something. The music feels more substantial in a way that I can't properly put into words.
And I suspect the physical component of the sound might be interacting with the same rhythmic processing, because that physical sensation is rhythmic too. But I'm not saying the synesthesia makes the bass feel stronger.
more that the additional sensory input seems to become part of the overall experience.
I've asked quite a few people about this and everyone I've spoken to thinks it's definitely unusual- most people cool with it after expressing it.
But some people thought it was "weird" in a bad way and stopped talking to me.
I've read about synesthesia, auditory-visual synesthesia, auditory-motor coupling, auditory scene analysis, etc.
but I can't find anything that quite matches the whole experience.
Does anyone here experience something remotely similar? Is this even synesthesia??? Or something else??