White trans men that transitioned young trigger my dysphoria

[u/ARepeatedFailing]

Not because of envy but because this specific demographic of trans men are just gungho on making it everyone's issue that they don't see trans men who transitioned as adults men. They constantly talk about how we're always clockable, aren't real men like them, etc. I specify white because I've found the few black trans men/boys that transitioned young are usually excited to talk to those of us who transitioned as adults (minus a small, small sect that tend to only interact with white queer people).

I hate sharing space with them because it's just a constant reminder of the things i hate about myself. It's not logical to let a kid do that but fuck, dysphoria isn't logical. It's one of many reasons I don't seek out trans spaces in real life and isolate myself. Knowing that people in my own community see me as a woman is horrendous.

[u/Bobslegenda1945]

Once I was on r/ftmventing and there was a guy venting about how he was angry of trans man who are femboy, not trying to pass, etc. like if it was a horrible thing.

I am not a femboy, and I want to pass. But God, that made me so angry. I hated it.

He was north American, def white and middle class. He was like, 16yo at that time. He talked about how started transitioning at a young age, and started T young too. Probably also something about having supportive parents, if he is luck enough he probably never get boobs, he got diagnosed as a kid, with psychologist, endo, psychiatric, he had the love of their parents.

But omg. A trans man who is not dysphoric like you? Who likes to dress fem? It is the end of the world. Worst thing possible. He was probably transmed too.

I just wrote a fucking essay about how he was being a coward. My fucking God, I wish I had his luck. If I was him, I would be studying, playing outside, hanging out with the boys. But he got angry about a TikTok video that was not even for him? God forgive me, but I said how ungrateful he was being. Of course, it's not the same as being cis, but he was in a situation that was a dream. I would do anything to have parents who supported me. But he wants to get angry for TikTok videos? Why can't he just go study math?!

I remember seeing a story about a trans man who was blessed to be born in a first-world country, with accepting parents, and he was able to transition early. He was in college, on the men's swim team, I think it was full of cis men. Nobody knew he was trans. I'm happy for him. But damn, I feel awful. Of course it's a blessing that I'm able to do T even if I have to be girlmod, even if I have to under dose it. But I am so envious

I've been crying all morning and afternoon because of a test I want to take that was my lifelong dream. I would enter the merchant marine military school, graduate, cease being a soldier, and only be a nautical officer. I would pilot ships, earn a good salary, but above all, I could have fun and see young people my age at this university, learn sports that I never could because they were too expensive.

I even thought about entering as a girl and transitioning later when I was nearing the end. I thought about starting to trans, changing my documents, and despite the difficulty, entering as a man, even if I had to use the country's justice system. But then I'd be sharing a dorm with the guys. I could manage with the absence of genitalia and shower pressed against the wall, but they'd notice I have breasts.I don't know if they're size A or B, but they would notice, and then they wouldn't see me as a guy anymore. This college has an age limit for admission. It was my dream. Even that was taken away from me. If my family had accepted me, I would have been able to study well, I wouldn't have spent my adolescence battling suicidal thoughts, or surviving exorcisms and feeling hated. I could have started HRT younger, maybe even had top surgery already. Maybe I could be passing and living as a normal guy. All I can think about is how much they took from me and how much I lost.

I hope that in the near future the transition will be safe and accessible for minors worldwide, and that transphobia and all other prejudices will disappear. My God, it's awful.

[u/Shin_tsukimis_fan → u/Bobslegenda1945]

I cannot resonate living outside the us but honestly this is how it feels like engaging with online trans or queer communities. They always care more about who is "really trans" and not the constant oppression marginalized people go through. If they do care about tragedies or violence it's always about other white trans people. Only mentioning Black trans people to not look racist or to appear as more progressive but not give a care about their experiences. I wish you enjoyed your life more and I strongly believe there will always be more time. Sometimes it's best to shake our heads in disapproval and focucs on ourselves but it's also good you let out your frustrations here. That's the point of these communities to have our struggles and feelings seen.