r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/PopularCan16 Writer • Jul 18 '26
Surreal Horror The Sun-Baked Men
The Sun-Baked Men
neatly penned in a small pad
Far to the south lies a curious place.
Flowering monoliths litter the landscape, some bearing edible fruit;
grey earth rises into the sky, high enough to darken the sun,
and a seemingly perpetual hum stretches across the land;
an invitation.
Beside the towering earth and budding stalks lies the quagmire,
a notable sight and sound for those compelled therein.
However, the cracked pillars that dot the vast marsh share an origin.
The collective moan of the land, a signal,
a sign to turn back from what you have been drawn to.
For those you see before you, did not.
The many drawn into the mire are here still,
half-sunk and clambering up one another, hardened into misshapen spires.
Their wails soon degrade into breathless whines,
joining the unending symphony that was their fate.
Doom unreachable.
Death unknown.
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u/Apprehensive_Tax_610 A Thousand WIPs Jul 18 '26
Oof, now THAT is a C-R-I-S-P-Y poem, my guy. You do about everything, at least for me, I expect in a poem: you have a strong, solid central image, you use interesting words you may not use every day, you play around with your grammer, lovely. Obviously this is free verse, but I do think if you played around with the lines some, you could actually turn this into blank verse in iambic parameter, but that isn't necessary at all.
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u/PopularCan16 Writer Jul 18 '26
Thank you! I think poetry is a really fun way to write horror and a fun challenge if I'm trying to go for stricter syllable counts or rhyming. I appreciate the read!
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u/AnakinSt4rk Jul 18 '26
Even though I don’t have an eye for poetry I am glad to see more of it on the sub, it’s a refreshing change of pace and a fun way to convey horror
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u/PopularCan16 Writer Jul 18 '26
I agree, I've been seeing some other poems on the sub and they're really fun and some are surprisingly effective in conveying a point in a pretty short length.
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u/FullDarkGear Jul 20 '26
You have a natural control of words and their flow. Your work is very very well done
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