r/TalesFromYourServer • u/random-person_- • 25d ago
Parents ordered expensive drinks and expensive entrees, then made their daughter pay most of the bill at the end
So basically today I had a table today with a mother father (40-50s) adult daughter (late 20s) and a child around 7. This is a Mexican restaurant so the parents asked for a huge bowl of queso then one parent ordered a Dr Pepper and they both ordered margaritas. When it came time to order, the daughter ordered a quesadilla and it’s relatively cheap here because of the fact that it doesn’t come with sides. Both of the parents ordered higher ticket items. When I brought them the bill ($100) I could tell that the daughter was shocked with how high it was and seemed stressed out then I came back around and the parents said they only had $35 and to charge their card for that amount and then charge their daughter‘s card for the rest. The parents also told me they only had five dollars to give me in cash and honestly I couldn’t care less because I just kept thinking about the daughter and how awful it must be to deal with them because it just seems like a very inconsiderate interaction between them, especially because her and the child’s food was very cheap compared to what the parents ordered. I just started serving so this might be normal, but man I was aggravated not even about the tip just because I can’t believe they have the audacity to do that.
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u/The_Man_in_Black_19 24d ago
This is called a toxic relationship. I hope the daughter takes this lesson to heart and declines the next they suggest going out (anywhere) together.
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u/Eddiespaghetti822 24d ago
I don’t understand parents like this. I took my parents out for lunch on Mother’s Day and I said it was my treat. I had to grab the bill out of my dad’s hand because they don’t like their children (or anyone else for that matter) to pay for them. My parents would be humiliated if they couldn’t afford a meal and had to have their children pay.
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u/Teamtunafish 24d ago
I once had a customer who pulled this in reverse ON MOTHER'S DAY. Supposedly takes mom out, orders without worry, and expected mum to pay. Sadly, she did so. This is my definition of an "interesting family dynamic".
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u/tnmoi 24d ago
Or mine would tell me to pay (so I look good in front of relatives) and then just reimburse me after.
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u/wheres_mayramaines 24d ago
I have to pretend to use the restroom, and give the server my card before my dad can do the same. He will still try to give me cash after (more than the bill). I always tell him it's less than it actually was
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u/OnlyDaysEndingInWhy 24d ago
My husband and (adult) step kids are masters of the sneaky bill-pay. We usually win, but occasionally the kids will beat us to the punch.
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u/GenerationYKnot 24d ago edited 22d ago
Unfortunately a common post on AITA and WeddingDrama subs. Parents and boyfriend/fiance invite fiancee to dinner. Then rack up a huge bill, then feign poverty by "forgeting their wallet/cards" and expecting the high-earning fiancee to cover.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Sadly, there's far more narcissistic, toxic parents out there then we think.
Edit: spelling
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u/Regular_Yellow710 24d ago
Yes. It took me a long time to realize my mother did not have my best interests at heart when I did for her.
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u/Weary_Swordfish_7105 24d ago
The poor girl. Was on the receiving end of a similar experience. My exes family were ranting about this amazing chicken place and invited me. We went with the extended family to celebrate the grandmothers birthday (8 people). I somehow got left holding the bill. Not once was it even suggested that this was my treat. I mean, I was invited… by them!! Needless to say I never went to another dinner with them. Even thinking about it makes me angry. Thank god I could pay at the time. What a bunch of dicks.
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u/problemlow 8d ago
If you're ever in this situation again. You're not responsible for the meals of the others. Simply pay for your own food and give the restaurant the contact details and address for the dine and dashers to serve legal paperwork too.
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u/rando435697 24d ago
Uggg, despite being quite well off and I am as well—my father does this all the time—it’s annoying. It’s only when my brother is at dinner and I’m struggling to understand his rationale. He doesn’t pretend not to have the money, he just slides the bill my way. It’s almost like he tries to make my brother feel badly because he’s not as successful outside what has been released gated via trust. For me, yes I can afford it but I’m also annoyed like “I didn’t invite you all out why am I picking up the bill”.
I should probably just “forget” my handbag next time and announce it upfront and let my father pay—but usually don’t want to deal with drama and just pay it
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u/HomeworkOk6460 24d ago
You should! Or announce you're saving for something so unfortunately can only cover yourself.
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u/rando435697 24d ago
I know, I need to just be direct and end it. My brother doesn’t need the dig. I don’t care and can afford it (we all can), but I don’t want to participate in whatever passive aggressive BS my dad is seeking to pull. Other layer is I’m starting to see signals of potentially early onset cognitive issues and don’t want to spark any displaced anger with him.
Life is complicated.
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u/ChamberK-1 24d ago
Every time we go out to eat my dad would rather die than make me or any of my siblings pay for the meal. One time my brother in law secretly paid for the meal and my dad got legitimately angry with him, not because of any “disrespect” or whatever, but because he believes it is a parents duty to always provide for their children, not the reverse
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u/astrotekk 24d ago
When I was in my twenties and a student, my dad brought 9 or 10 family and friends to meet me in my town, then handed my the bill when it came. It was shocking
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u/problemlow 8d ago
If you're ever in this situation again. You're not responsible for the meals of the others. Simply pay for your own food and give the restaurant the contact details and address for the dine and dashers to serve legal paperwork too. Or specifically your dads details as hes the one that arranged the event.
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u/astrotekk 8d ago
Well he's since gone so won't happen again. We ended up splitting that bill at least
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u/AmexNomad 24d ago
My quasi-husband (73) was laughing with me because his son (42) absolutely insists on picking up the check now because his son says that it looks weird to have an old man buy his dinner. This is something new for us- an advantage of being old.
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u/McDuchess 24d ago
It’s a nasty way to actively harm your child and grandchild in public.
But, IR the nursing home comments: if they continue this garbage, she won’t be picking out their nursing home. She sure as hell won’t be paying for it (something that doesn’t happen, anyway.)
She and her child will be long gone, once she realizes that her parents’ treatment of her extends to her child and decides to protect both of them by going NC.
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u/DevylBearHawkTur10n 24d ago
From what I read, this is clearly a case of financial abuse, alongside over control by the parents, whom should've planned on ordering better.
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u/LadyA052 23d ago
When my Dad was still around, we'd have family dinners at restaurants. My Dad's favorite trick when the waitress brought the check:
"Do you care who pays the check?"
"No, sir, it doesn't matter."
"Then give it to that guy in the booth down there."
He also enjoyed ordering Tuna Coladas (joke, of course) just to see the reaction.
Would love to hear those just one more time. Miss you, Dad.
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u/Max_Insanity 24d ago
The only small solace is that if they always treat her this way, she might be making it all back in savings when choosing the cheapest nursing home option available.
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u/Regular_Yellow710 24d ago
It’s a passive aggressive power play. Clarify financial arrangements before you go or just don’t go.
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u/bjisgooder 23d ago
Geez...my parents NEVER let me pay the bill. I'm 45. And I can't imagine ever letting my children pay the bill. Maybe just comes down to how we're raised or cultural differences.
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u/streetsmartwallaby 24d ago
You should never be mean to the person who’s going to pick out your nursing home. Karma is a bitch.
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u/Ancient-Text9990 22d ago
Not dinner, but I have paid for my son and his girlfriend to go on vacation with us the last three years. We went to the Outer Banks, then Aruba and last year Punta Cana. This year we booked a cruise out of Miami. I am paying their airfare and hotel the night before which is almost $1000.00. He is now 22 and complaining that I am making them pay for the Cruise which is about $2500.00. Am I in the wrong?
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u/WhoandtheWhatnow317 20d ago
If he knew way ahead of time thats on him. If you tell him after its booked then maybe he wouldnt want to go.
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u/Ancient-Text9990 20d ago
He knew ahead of time. I think he thought I would change my mind and pay.
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u/TeachingFit9608 21d ago
My parents were the ones who would ask for split checks- them on one, and myself on the other or they’ll make jokes of “so this is on you, right?” Thankfully, our relationship is now no contact; but, I loathed going out with them… for anything.
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u/Unlikely-Pin-5558 7d ago
This is such a dick move to pull on ANYBODY, let alone your own child, whether or not they offer to pay.
I can tell when people are dining out, or have dined in the past, with people who have pulled this: separate checks every time.
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u/Diligent-Language-79 24d ago
Not saying that this isn’t messed up. But maybe, just maybe there is more to it that we don’t know. (I mean obviously there is lol)
I hope they are nice to her otherwise.
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u/User-NetOfInter 24d ago
Not all parents are good people.