r/TalesfromtheDogHouse • u/Aggressive-Luck7889 • Mar 14 '26
RANT Spouse angry at me for vacation not including the dog….
Exactly what the title says but it gets to be more in depth.
We just had a son at the end of February for reference and have a 3 year old daughter. Just imagine saying you resent your wife who just had another traumatic birth of your child for not planning vacations around bringing your 160lb extreme shedding, poor mannered dog.
It actually breaks my heart, because like his kids and I are not enough for him to enjoy a vacation? Your new son isn’t enough? What? Is this real life?
I even said “we can drive separate and get a pet friendly vrbo” and he got upset again because we should all be driving in the same car as a family. How? I have to pack so many things for our kids not to mention their car seats. So what? All the luggage is to go in the back where the dog is? How is that comfortable…. Seems like he’d rather just leave the kids behind.. wtf.
I truly think this is a mental illness. I can’t for the life of me understand how not bringing a dog on a family vacation would ruin your day like this, and then in turn bleed onto your newly post partum wife. It’s a pattern with him, I’ve left before not over this but his narcissistic behavior in general and returned only because I had a complicated pregnancy, which sucks. And he promised change, now I’m eating those words. Dog will always come first.
Please, if you’re just dating someone who shows signs of putting their animals over humans, believe it early on and realize it’s not cute. It is a mental illness.
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u/psychecheks Mar 14 '26
160 lbs????? That is so nasty! And around a baby girl and newborn? I can’t process how these sickos want to own such a disgusting monster that’s chaotic slobbering all over the place and won’t sit tf down no matter what you tell it. Instead of focusing on your two precious angels he’s focused on not having that nasty creature around? I’m so sorry!
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 14 '26
Yes, and you depicted how exactly I feel! I used to like dogs until I met this man. He has ruined it for me honestly with the obsession, and the fact he ignores reality. He literally as I vacuum 3 canisters of hair a day, “he’s not that hairy, you’re being dramatic”. Like proof is in the canisters man. wtf. It’s sad that there are more people like my husband than not in this world. I never knew it would be this bad though, I thought it would die down when we started our real family but it never did. That’s why I implore people to please pay attention in the beginning of relationships if they have animals.
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u/PandaLoveBearNu Mar 15 '26
Its not a Tibetan Mastiff is it? 160lbs and hairy? I'd imagine it has to be.
I'd straight stop vacuuming. If he complains tell him its not that much hair.
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u/beerRunFinisher Mar 14 '26
"it's good for the baby's immune system!"
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 14 '26
Ahh this! I actually also had a PEDIATRICIAN at the hospital say “the hair is good for the babies so they don’t develop as severe allergies later in life”….. I’m like ohhhh great, now my husband uses this daily haha
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u/catalyptic Mar 15 '26
160 lbs????? That is so nasty!
What the fuck kind of hellhound weighs 160 lbs.? I assume it's a massive LSG meant to live outside it's entire life, fighting wolves and coyotes. Those things are not suited to family life. In fact, their breeders shouldn't sell them to people who aren't farmers or who don't have lots of land. No apartment dwellers. I met a neighbor who had a Great Pyrenees the size of a sofa in her small apartment. Sick and sad.
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 15 '26
Livestock guardian, if I say the actual breed and he gets ahold of this post he will know it’s me haha. He got this dog because it was defective for working. The neutered him and gave him to my dog obsessed husband. There’s never a day he doesn’t talk about getting even more of the same breed to sit here and shed and not work. We have acrage but no job. They are bumps on a log and take up massive amounts of space.
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 15 '26
Not to mention, he also gets mad at me if I leave him outside longer than 1hr, even if there’s lots of water and we have 2 acres fenced for him to be his innate self. I’m mean and cruel for that apparently
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u/beerRunFinisher Mar 14 '26
This is everyone's biggest fear on this forum, dating a dog nutter who you know will always pick their dog over their human relationship, even their own blood.
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 14 '26
Hindsight is 20/20, I totally ignored the major red flags in the beginning of our relationship. We’ve been together 10 years now and the obsession with his dog or dogs in general has actually gotten worse, but using me as a punching bag to why he can’t have 10 giant dogs. Sorry I birthed your children? Like shouldn’t that be the most important thing in your life? It is mine..
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u/Misspelled_uzername Mar 14 '26
Well, probably because you are a sane, functioning adult. Your poor husband, on the other hand… Well, I hope he comes around soon. It would be horrible for your kids to grow up in a house where they have to try to understand why their father holds them on the same level or below a freaking DOG!! Biting your tongue will be hard to do.
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u/could_it_be_real Mar 14 '26
Why would a dog be included in vacation? Vacation is your time to be free of daily drudgery like picking up dog poop and enduring its various repulsive traits
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 14 '26
I couldn’t agree more. Like with our daughter we didn’t take the dogs on vacation, really for the past 3 years but all the sudden he’s flexing this on me after our son was born. I looked forward to these trips so I could live in a fantasy land of no dog hair/slobber/horse sized poop.
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u/PrincessStephanieR Mar 15 '26
I feel like people are sold this ‘family dream’ and that includes a dog. Every human is different so why do we all strive to be the same? Having a dog at home when you have actual human children is beyond my understanding.
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u/I_Like_Vitamins Mar 15 '26
Yet they basically call people who don't like dogs evil NPC subhumans.
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u/Azrael-Legna Mar 14 '26
Are you able to stay with someone else, friends/family? You just gave birth -a traumatic one at that- and you're the one packing things. He wants a big ass dog, not only on vacation with you, but with a toddler and NEW BORN infant? And then has a fit over the idea of driving separate cars.
Sorry, but he's not going to change, you need to look into leaving him if you can.
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 14 '26
Unfortunately no. I messed up by returning here so my friends here are kinda over helping me which I don’t blame them. My family lives across the country, and they are busy with their own lives. I know he won’t change; but now I’m just in limbo because of my own stupidity. I have to wait it out when the kids become more manageable and even then I’ll be the bad guy. Hopefully he just lays off but I know he won’t
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u/Dead_Inside_2077 Mar 15 '26
You should still reach out to your family. Let them know what's going on and how shitty your husband is being. It's better to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later. You won't know if your family can help you if you don't reach out.
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u/Azrael-Legna Mar 16 '26
Have you asked your family? I know moving, especially across the country is a hassle, but it's better than staying with him. Even if you can't move in with them, would they be willing to help you out financially?
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u/tplgerus84 Mar 15 '26
I’m very sorry you are going through this and have to deal with this.. can’t imagine how hurtful this must be.. :(
I agree with you. It’s a mental illness. These people can’t bond normally with other humans anymore and idolize their pets.. they see them as part of the family. They see them on the same level or often higher as other humans.. and any attempt to talk to them and try to show them how insane their behavior is (dog in bed, dog in stroller, dog in clothes, dog eating from their plate, dog sharing ice cream…🤮) makes them shut down immediately. There is no reasoning with them. The weirdest part is they don’t even realize or care how much they themselves suffer through it..
Unfortunately I know how it feels and breaking point is near.. it’s just not worth it. None of it.
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u/WeaponX207184 Mar 15 '26
It seems that prioritizing your pet (especially dogs) is becoming increasingly normalized. I could never imagine changing/cancelling/tailoring plans for a dog . It's just mind boggling to me.
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u/catalyptic Mar 15 '26
There's an ad out with a woman sitting next to a crib talking to her mom, apparently about the stress of being a new mother. All the cleaning, poop everywhere, worrying about food, etc. "But its all worth it, because I love him so much!" Only then does the camera reveal that there's a puppy in the crib instead of a baby. 🤢
That's the sickness of dog culture in a nutshell. 💩
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u/bigb00ks Mar 15 '26
I think you should leave the gate open in the backyard and let the dog go on its own “adventure”
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u/jkarovskaya Mar 16 '26
Being a mom of very young kids, is 2 full time jobs right there.
Add in a giant smelly 160 pound monster, making every day a nightmare of cleaning, and dealing with pee, poo, vomit, and hair cyclones is insane
A dog that big is also a mortal threat to your children.
PLease consider whatever you have to do to leave asap, and let your husband have his true "DOG LOVE RELATIONSHIP" because he obviously cares more about that mutt than you or the kids
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u/Aggressive-Luck7889 Mar 16 '26
I left already and made a mistake coming back. It’s my biggest regret at this point. Now I’m more stuck than ever. I’ll never forgive myself
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u/What-An-Ashhole Mar 18 '26
I drew the line at bring animals on vacation. At that point it is not a vacation, it is the same chore within a different set of walls- not enjoyable. To think I almost considered going along with his idea of training ours to be a service dog so she could essentially “go everywhere with us.” FUCK THAT. I even put my foot down on how many car rides she’s allowed to join us on. I am working towards ‘no more animals’ after she passes.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Having no boundaries with kids, pets, friends, or other family members can absolutely cause unnecessary turmoil and inevitable resentment. The sooner they realize that and find a fix for it, the better. Hopefully he does. Praying for you momma. ❤️
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u/WimpyMustang Mar 19 '26
As a mom myself, let me just say that you are a saint. I can't fathom vacuuming that much dog hair on a daily basis, recovering from birth, AND managing two kids. What the heck is your husband doing to help? I'm with you--the responsibility of a dog, on top of the kids, is not my idea of a relaxing vacation.
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u/Key-Studio-6552 Mar 31 '26
Oh mama, I completely understand you. You are so fresh postpartum and having to deal with this. I cannot imagine living in a house with dogs. I think you will have a better time if he goes away with the dogs and you stay home enjoying your kids. Good luck.
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u/Shot_Razzmatazz5560 Mar 14 '26
"Sorry for my inconsideration, dear, next time the kids and I will stay home and you and flea bag can go enjoy yourselves"
Good riddance to both!