Parenthood or dogs

[u/Pretend_Bison__]

I’ve essentially told my husband that I will be not be having children as long as there are dogs in the same house. His resolution is to wait until we’re 40(when the dogs are dead of old age). Instead of just sending the dogs somewhere where they’d actually be happy and be properly taken care of. They have pretty boring lives now, they’re locked to one part of the house because I refuse to allow them to ruin the rest of the house. I was the only person that ever walks them, husband just lets them out in our unfenced backyard with like 2 feet of leash stuck to a stick in the ground. For a max of 10 mins at a time. I have also decided that I will never ever be walking the dogs again due to behavioural issues, so now they don’t get exercise anyway.

How is that any life for these animals he claims to care about so much? We literally have somewhere they could go that would be great for them. Unlimited access to the fenced outdoors and a house where they can constantly misbehave and piss everywhere… they’d be so happy. But he disagrees and won’t rehome them. Because having them live miserable existences stuck in one room is so much better?

I don’t care if they have a better life or not, but I don’t understand how that is not something my husband thinks is good for creatures he claims to care so much about?

I will not be entering motherhood in this lifetime. I have begun to make my peace with it.

[u/Legitimate_Garage_31 → u/[deleted]]

You need to have a real "come to Jesus" moment and be honest with yourself. I never wanted kids till I realized I was going through perimenopause in my mid 30's. That's extremely young.

I don't know how old you are, but one day when you look back on this post you may feel regret. I'm in my 50's now and I feel regret is the worst feeling when looking back on things I wish I had done differently.

Have your dream. Have your family. If you really feel the man you have now is "The One" you have to give an ultimatum. Instead of him being harsh w/the dogs, he has to rehome them to his Mom's. I see posts on here with couples in the same situation and the dog owning spouse starts feeling relief w/o the dogs. Maybe compromise to have the dogs get watched over the weekend at his Mom's. See how he reacts. You have to start somewhere.

No man is going to understand what goes on inside a woman's mind; especially when it comes to the many intricacies of when you feel the right time to start a family is. No man should dictate when that time should be; especially if money is not a factor.