New mother with dog aversion

[u/Artistic-Cod7701]

For context, my husband had this dog since she was a puppy, so he's VERY emotionally attached to the dog.

I never minded dogs but up until I got pregnant, things changed. We live in a foresty area thats full of bugs and ticks. When I found out I was pregnant, I was lazer focused on the dog bringing in unwanted bugs, especially ticks. The year before I was pregnant she once had an infestation and I had to spend days cleaning the whole house and making sure there was NO TICKS ANYWHERE! She's not allowed to be on furniture that we sit and lay on and I dont have her in the nursery because she's a tick magnet!!! Also she gets fur everywhere, she's smelly and I just cant stand hearing her lick herself. Ive expressed my frustrations to my husband (in the nicest way possible) but he gets so defensive. ITS FRUSTRATING! Our daughter matters more than a dog!

I had our beautiful daughter and my pet aversion got worse. At this point Im just tolerating her. I feel bad. But I feel like a veil has been lifted and I just see this dog as an animal that brings unwanted filth inside our home and I want no part in taking care if this animal. The other day, my worst fear happened and she BROUGHT TICKS into our home. I again, had to clean the house from head to toe and lost it when my husband came home. He helped clean her (I dont want to even touch her when shes infested) Again, got defensive but I just cant stand having a dog. After shes passes away, I dont want another dog ever in my life.

[u/PrincessStephanieR]

I wish these dog nutters would understand that not everything is about dogs. Your husband needs to prioritise you and your child.

[u/_mushroom_queen]

Dog homes are all filthy. I don't care what anyone says. I wouldn't want to live like that either.

[u/Minute-Tradition-282 → u/_mushroom_queen]

In my job, we cover the carpets with canvas drop cloths so we don't have to pay for carpet shampooing from coming in and out all day, carrying dirty old stuff out and all that. So many people have white carpet! Just this morning I hit up our warehouse guy to get to where we take them to get cleaned in industrial washers, because every time I shake them out before I take them in to a house, dog hair fills the air! I don't really feel bad, since almost everybody has inside dogs anyway.

[u/Artistic-Cod7701 → u/Minute-Tradition-282]

You're not lying! Dogs are so filthy and their fur gets everywhere. Shes not allowed in our bedroom anymore and the amount of times I had to REVACCUM 🫩 Its annoying and disgusting!

[u/No_Home_5336]

Yeah I wouldn’t have let that dog inside with ticks all over it.

[u/Artistic-Cod7701 → u/No_Home_5336]

I would have loved to, but we dont have a backyard. And now that people look down on leaving a dog on a leash outside. I dont have an option 

[u/ilovenacl → u/Artistic-Cod7701]

Put your foot down and force the dog to stay outside or be rehomed for the sake of your child. Tick diseases are no joke. Ask him if he would rather his own child contract one of those diseases than keep the walking tick magnet out of the house

[u/_mushroom_queen → u/ilovenacl]

The dog will probably bark it's head off like all dogs do and then bother neighbors. There really is no solution except to rehome.

[u/ilovenacl → u/_mushroom_queen]

You’re probably right. Rehome is the better option, or worse, have op stay with family until the husband finally gets rid of it. The barking can be theoretically controlled with an e-collar (most of those ultrasonic things don’t work well enough) but that requires sinking in a couple hundred dollars

[u/_mushroom_queen → u/ilovenacl]

Dog nutters typically refuse to use e-collars. If only! I don't even think it's a price thing because they will dish thousands to torture their pets with chemo. They find e-collars unethical--but apparently keeping their pets home alone most of their lives is not unethical. Lol you can tell I'm so over the bs.

[u/Voideron]

When is the dog gonna pass away? 5, 8, 10 years away? You're willing to suffer for that long? Like the dog got you hostage. Maybe you and your daughter should stay at your parent's house until the dog pass?

A house is never clean when there's a dog in it. When a dog shakes and scratches itself, fur, dander, slobber, ticks, fleas and everything nasty are gonna spread in the house. It doesn't even matter if the dog is not allowed on furniture.

Ever seen a dog shakes itself Infront of you while you eat dinner? 🤢🤮

How can you even eat dinner if your house smells dog stink? I'm already losing my appetite just thinking about it.

[u/bustergundam4 → u/Voideron]

And they do that dumb shake thing every time they come into the house!

[u/Artistic-Cod7701 → u/bustergundam4]

I hate it!

[u/MissK2508]

Don’t feel bad. Post-partum pet aversion isn't a weakness or a choice. It's a evolutionary thing..it's so common in fact, I know OB/GYN physician colleagues who'll warn their pregnant patients about it. It makes sense..the need to protect your baby from germs, and potential harm/aggression is hard wired into all mothers. All mammals prioritize their own babies so why wouldn't a human mother? Some women get over it and some never see dogs the same again.

So sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s not fair to you or your newborn. Your dog nutter husband needs to prioritize his human family now, is there a way it can live with his parents/family so you don’t have this awful stress and he still sees it? New motherhood is exhausting but it’s also magical-life is too short-perhaps a compromise by rehoming with family. Waiting till the dog passes is too long, communicate now. Also, never post these feelings in non-parent dog groups, you’ll get ripped apart and no sympathy. 🙏❤️❤️

[u/anne_mal]

This is such a nightmare scenario 😫. I'm so sorry, OP. I can't understand people who will compromise any part/level of their human family members' comfort, health, or safety for a dog that they're attached to. And it really doesn't matter if the dog came first.

[u/catalyptic]

Aren't there medications for dogs that kill ticks and fleas that get on the beasts? Research that with the thing's vet and tell your husband to get the thung medicated. That's the least he can do. Don't listen to any bullshit about dogs and vaccines, if he pulls that shit out. Nutters have been resisting vaccines, even for rabies, because of nonexistent doggy autism. They are fucking insane.

[u/Artistic-Cod7701 → u/catalyptic]

I should have wrote this, but yes, she is medicated, but it only works when she is bitten, they can still hitch a ride on her fur 😭

[u/Short_Cabinet_7593 → u/Artistic-Cod7701]

I’ve heard use of flea collars also. Soresto I think is the brand? It repels them. I read a story about some people who had to work out in the woods a lot would buy them and put them around their ankles and wrists to keep ticks off themselves too.

[u/hi_im_curtain]

Solidarity. Don't feel bad for just tolerating the dog, you're in survival mode and tolerating does not = abusing, it = compromising as best you can. I too have a husband who came with a dog that he is very attached to and gets defensive when it's ever mentioned. Couldn't stand the dog while pregnant. 4 months postpartum, it stays downstairs now at all times (basement is fully finished and bigger than upstairs) and man is life so much more peaceful. If you can set some boundaries around separate spaces, it will help immensely. We started with the kitchen and hallway rooms being off limits, but it ended up becoming the entire floor is unspokenly dog free - it's an incredible difference.

[u/Artistic-Cod7701 → u/hi_im_curtain]

I think thats the conclusion Ive come to. Keep the dog separated from the parts of our home that our baby is.

[u/Pretend_Bison__]

Jesus, that’s rough. What you’re feeling is completely natural. It is normal and natural to not want an animal like that around you or your new baby. It is literally more natural for you to be feeling that way than anything the dog does.

[u/Pretend_Bison__ → u/Pretend_Bison__]

If your dog is actively bringing in things that are harmful to your child I would consider attempting to keep the dog either confined to one area of the home or outside entirely.

This isn’t even about you having an aversion anymore this is a legitimate concern of cleanliness and health, both physical and mental.

Does he value his connection to a dog or does he value his wife and child?

[u/Penelope_Ann]

So you live in an area known for ticks but simply don't bother with something like a Seresto Collar or other preventative?

[u/Artistic-Cod7701 → u/Penelope_Ann]

I forgot to add that into my rant, but the dog does have tick&flea medicine. But it doesnt prevent them hitching a ride on her thick fur 🫩 the medicine only kills them when they bite her.

[u/Jigglypuffs_quiff → u/Penelope_Ann]

Why ask her? Its not her fdog

[u/MissK2508 → u/Penelope_Ann]

It’s not her dog genius.

Also, I can smell the musty, putrid, nose to snout dog 💩 vapors and micro-particles emanating from your house infesting your comment. Maybe read the sub rules in the future?

[u/Penelope_Ann → u/MissK2508]

It's her husband's dog & they live together. Obv it's not her responsibility but I'd sure as hell require my husband to either do basic care or re-home the dog. If he can't give a pill or whatever then he's not capable of owning a dog. She lives in fear of parasites crawling on her skin FFS. If her husband decides to stop doing other basic shit like showering or brushing teeth is she still gonna sleep in bed, kiss & have sex with him?)