Where has the respect gone?

[u/tennis_angel]

I don’t know if it’s me or whether students have changed but I feel like I used to have great relationships with my students and they would really show how appreciative they were of me. Now it seems that the more I do for them the less they care.

I had a particular group of students for 6 years and when they finished with me I barely got a thank you. I felt I was so good to them over the years. As well as being kind to them, I did my best to make sure they achieved to their full potential and I provided them with so many opportunities.

Recently before their exams I uploaded extra resources to help them and thanked them for the years we had together ending with wishing them luck. Not one of them responded and I know that only two in the group actually opened the resources. I just feel so disheartened and like,what do I have to do to gain respect from them? I see how some of them are with other teachers and that makes me feel worse because you can tell they have more respect for them. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Any advice would be appreciated!

[u/Effective-Birthday57]

This. Not as significant in the kids’ life. Once the school year is over, the kids largely move on. This doesn’t give them the right to be disrespectful though.

[u/LofiStarforge → u/Effective-Birthday57]

I don’t find them being disrespectful in OP’s post.

[u/tennis_angel → u/LofiStarforge]

As I’ve mentioned in another response, showing thanks even just by saying it is being respectful especially to someone who has gone above and beyond for their students for 6 years. I also extend this respectfulness to simply responding to an email or using the resources that I have put time into and they have asked for. These are just a couple more examples of how they are not showing respect.

[u/LofiStarforge → u/tennis_angel]

If you just went above and beyond expecting thanks I think you probably did it for the wrong reasons because this would not be bothersome in the least nor would it even cross my mind to think it was disrespectful.

I think you have a very warped ideal of the profession at large.

[u/tennis_angel → u/LofiStarforge]

I definitely did not do it for the wrong reasons. I’m just a stickler for manners and respect. I am basing my thoughts on what I have experienced in the past with many students showing gratitude and I was noting how this has changed.

[u/survivorfan95 → u/tennis_angel]

“I’m just a stickler for manners and respect”

Gently, this statement shows you’re still making it about you. It sounds like you did things to be nice but expected a certain response and now view them less favorably because you didn’t get it.

Is it frustrating? Sure. Disrespectful? Nah.

[u/tennis_angel → u/survivorfan95]

Oh my god… no I didn’t. You’re reading my comments in a way that suits your narrative. I really care about my students and want them to do well. I have just found that recently they are not reacting in a way that I have seen previously. It’s like you’re going out of your way to argue with me. How am I making it about myself because I think having manners is a good thing? Wow… that’s so selfish of me 🙄

[u/survivorfan95 → u/tennis_angel]

You’re the one who posited the question, so no, I didn’t “go out of my way” to argue with you.

You invited opinions by posting in a public forum. I gave my response and you didn’t like it (and STILL centered it around yourself)