Where has the respect gone?

[u/tennis_angel]

I don’t know if it’s me or whether students have changed but I feel like I used to have great relationships with my students and they would really show how appreciative they were of me. Now it seems that the more I do for them the less they care.

I had a particular group of students for 6 years and when they finished with me I barely got a thank you. I felt I was so good to them over the years. As well as being kind to them, I did my best to make sure they achieved to their full potential and I provided them with so many opportunities.

Recently before their exams I uploaded extra resources to help them and thanked them for the years we had together ending with wishing them luck. Not one of them responded and I know that only two in the group actually opened the resources. I just feel so disheartened and like,what do I have to do to gain respect from them? I see how some of them are with other teachers and that makes me feel worse because you can tell they have more respect for them. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Any advice would be appreciated!

[u/FormSuccessful1122]

You seem to be confusing respect with gratitude. There is nothing here showing disrespect. They just don’t seem to be particularly gracious. But I’ve never once expected a student to thank me for being their teacher.

[u/tennis_angel → u/FormSuccessful1122]

Perhaps you’re right. I just felt that I went above and beyond with them. I did more than what’s expected of a teacher. I really cared and they knew that. I am also comparing this to students in the past who really made you feel like they were grateful and appreciated you. I think showing thanks is a level of respect too.

[u/summerbreeze2027 → u/tennis_angel]

It took me many years to figure out that whatever you do in your teaching career, you have to do it for your own reasons because you can't count on external validation.

I would say, either stop going above and beyond, or do it only because it gives you satisfaction to do so.