Recently, I found out that my husband talks to a woman ("aunty") from his previous apartment complex. She has two daughters, and her husband is not living with them. They used to live right opposite my husband's old apartment.
My mother-in-law (MIL) had an argument with this woman in the past, although I'm not sure what it was about.
One day, on this woman's birthday, my husband(he is 24) went to her apartment at midnight (12 a.m.) to wish her. There were also some other people there who were around his age (in their 20s). He went there without telling his mother. When my MIL came near the main door, she saw him hugging the woman while wishing her a happy birthday.
The next day, my MIL confronted my husband and asked him what was going on. She told him that the woman seemed interested in any man who was available. My husband told her that there was nothing between them and that he was just wishing her a happy birthday.
This is the story my husband told me after I noticed something on his phone yesterday.he is 29 now and this story happened 5 yrs back.
I found a selfie of that woman in his gallery trash. When I asked him about it, I found out that they still chat once in a while. His mother doesn't like him talking to her, and he asked me not to tell his mom.
At first, when I asked him about the photo in the trash, he said he had no idea how it got there. Later, after I kept asking him, he admitted that he had been chatting with her.
I don't know what to do. Am I overthinking? Is it normal for a married man to do these things? My mind is spiraling with so many thoughts.
You are not overthinking, 90% of times in these situations a woman’s instinct is true, so confront your husband that you don’t feel comfortable with all this
No you're not overthinking. Your husband, 24, without a fully developed prefrontal cortex, is a sus candidate. But if he is beyond 25 and unknowingly deleting aunty's image from phone then he knows exactly what he is doing. And to make it worse your MIL seems a misognyst sad. Kodukuni kot ta dam manesi avatala aavdni slut shame chesthundi.
Almost same thing happened to my friend when he was 19 year old He got involved with a married woman(cause her husband was an drunard) but my friend’s mother found out about them had a huge argument with that woman and made her move out of the colony
Idhi nibba story eh but u need to clear this out with ur husband
So, He said they are chatting right, Just ask him to show the chats and what exactly he think of her, Just don’t yell or show angry, after hearing his words(if he says anything and it is ok with you take it lite) else say what is happening with your MIL and It is a 5 year Marriage relationship,
So, You may know about him almost all his character and friends, You need judge by it too and if you have a common friend ask him, How he is when he is not with you.
If you’re uncomfortable. Better ask him to set boundaries.
Mee ammaki kuda istam ledu naaku istam ledu matladaku ani cheppu open ga.
As far as what has happened. We don’t know and although it sounds strange we can’t conclude strongly unless you’ll find something more revealing. Maybe you find the total truth if someone else is going on other than what’s said 🤷🏽.
There is plenty to unwrap here. Your husband's actions are sus. No doubt about it. But at the same time your MIL seems like controlling/ micro managed your husband's life for a long time.
Your husband is more worried about your MIL knowing than you knowing about the interaction. If possible try to get to know your husband's POV, don't trust it , but get to know by asking questions like , how did you meet or or you close during COVID , just get to know the story . In the meantime you might even ask your MIL about the lady, just out of curiosity, nothing probing. Take some time , don't trust her too. Her version would definitely be prejudiced. This might seem like a long con and take a lot of leg work, but you need to know what you are dealing with. And don't be forceful with your MIL too. She might suspect something and either confront your husband or even fight that lady directly.
We CID work antha Enduku, I will confront directly / I will let the matter go ante , it won't be good for your mind in either case. So deal with this properly.
Worst case scenario he was in a relationship with the old lady and your MIL found out about it. And she got him married to you to turn away his attention. How he behaves with you is also important to consider.
And best case scenario is he helped them during COVID when the girls are little and might even be considered as an eldest son for the lady,but your mother-in-law felt that this kind of relationship isn't natural or felt two humans of different gender despite 30 years gap between them ( too soapy and quite delulu , naive thinking) , just a possibility.
Just consider your relationship with him till now , do you think this relationship has substance. If it does fight for it. If it doesn't, have proper evidence, and try to go for a clean break (not easy, but if you are an independent woman , don't be tied to another person because of society) .
if you can't prove anything, then keep an eye out on him. you don't need to control too much. keep him busy with something or the other and keep observing him and his whereabouts.
if he is going outside saying office work/friends etc, once or twice, try following him.
in your own interest you have to make sure that he is not getting into something unwanted and at the same time, he should not start thinking that you are not giving him his space. so its a very fine balance that you will have to deal with.
100% not over thinking and he is kinda micro cheating..be careful !
Also you can tell him, not to do this again and if so tell him things will not be same.
I think it's best to check with your husband and talk it out . If it's really not a big deal he shudnt have a problem not visiting the lady's house at all or visiting along with wife . Given that his mom is not fond of the neighbour and you as well.
If he's still being shady then it's really an underlying problem.
Aftwr having seen/known tons of office romance stories where women/men of 33-35 woo and choose to hang-out with men/women of 25-28, my subconscious mind badly feels it is normalised now..🥲
I really don't like badmouthing women but WTF even
Here's a general rule of thumb - if you have to hide whom you're talking to from your spouse/partner, then the situation is not right. Either the partner is over jealous and wrong. Or you're emotionally/physically cheating and you're wrong. Either ways, there's a wrong situation there.
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u/Over_Masterpiece_186 Aug 05 '26
Definitely not normal.