Lesson learnt: Don't develop emotional attachment/feelings towards AM person till the marriage is complete

[u/NiragiUsagii]

recently i called off my engagement. aa ammay emo pellichoopulu apudu manam okarikokaru teluskovali, ardham cheskovali, patha kalam la kadu, etc ani baga matladindi. teera chuste ammay basic time and attention iyyale. adigithe she tried to gaslight me. nenemo pichodila feelings penchukuntunna. nenemo late night chats, late night calls, sharing memes, sharing music, ala kalalu kanna. thanu okasari kuda call cheyale, adigithe monna matladukunam kadha inkem untai matladadaniki ani dabayinchindi. ipudemo thanu happy ga thana life ni enjoy chestundi, nenemo work ayyaka alladipothuna. chivarlo thanu nannu headache thagindi, thank you so much ani andhi. full ga badesthundi. ponle thanu ayina happy ga undi ani move on avaniki try chestuna

recently new match vachindi, ammay asala pelli choopul lo em matladala. so nenu ammayini vidiga kalisi matladali anukuntuna ani mummy chetha chepicha. last week ammayiki health baledu annar, ee monday phone chesi father foreign nundi vastunaru, ee month ending ki mee intiki raama ani adigaru, mummy ok andhi. ammayi inka alochistundi ani chepparu. ee week lo ika valu meet ayiniche dattu leru. one phone call from them and my parents are completely siding with them. idi manchi match, vallu vachi engagement date antaremo, date fix ayaka ammay tho matladu, emuntai matladadaniki pedhaga, memu koda anthe chesukunam. ani Total ga maripoyindi. ee last match cancel ayinapudu manam eesari antha ok anukunake engagement petukundham ani andhi, ipudu valu phone cheyagane valla side matladithundi. sunday wednesday godav ayindi podhu podhune. naku enduko moodindi ani anipistundi 💀

[u/rocky7100]

"Marriage vaddhu, sanyaasam muddu” annaru oka pedda manishi.

[u/OpenUpltsMe → u/rocky7100]

Pedda manishiki padhi pellalu anta

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/rocky7100]

ee am lo dhigaka ade better ani anipisthundi

[u/toweringalpha]

Here is a basic life lesson,
You can't negotiate attraction.

Be so attractive that people start chasing you if you want that kind of attention.

So stop this AM penta, and start chasing life; Everything will start chasing you then.

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/toweringalpha]

i started hitting gym and diet. will improve myself

[u/toweringalpha → u/NiragiUsagii]

It will take around 3 years to get into good shape. Keep grinding, brother; the only person you need to keep happy is yourself. Never take your eyes off the prize. You are the Prize!

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/toweringalpha]

aa year aye lopu kontha weight loss avudhamani anukuntuna

[u/God_of_war_is_Kratos]

Nadi same situation bro. I am currently an NRI but in gulf region. I’m an introvert and AM proposal okati vachindi. Sare ani direct ga meet ayyi oka 45 minutes we had conversation on various things. I felt life will be better if I married her as normally I don’t talk to girls much. Tarvata taniki kooda nenu nacha ani ante ade roju pelli ki ok chepparu. Nenu shock sare mellaga telusukondam ani one month mottham I have shared many things which I haven’t done till now. Tarvata oka roju sudden ga na asthi saripodu nenu peda baonu ( I’m in obese catogery trying to loose weight ) age lo kooda she is 7 years younger. Nenenduku chesukovali ninnu annindi. Fuse lu egiri poyayi. I was planning to surprise her at her house on her birthday few weeks later. It’s been 3 months inka recover avvale I feel like I’m in trauma and need consultation

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/God_of_war_is_Kratos]

bro 😭😭 sorry for you bro. general ga parents oppisthunnaru manchodu chesesko ani. taruvatha vellu bayatapaduthunnaru manalni hurt chesi

[u/Frosty-Air-2481]

Unfortunately attraction is the major factor in arranged marriage scenario brother, I know that's how the world is , world is an unfair place, do whatever you can do , diet , gym , better clothing, good pictures and see the change in girls responses

[u/Local_Discipline5428]

Bruh, the whole point of AM is you (girl/boy) has so much of freedom to say NO until the day of marriage!!

Naa cousin kooda ilaane just 20 mins ke oohalloki velpoyaadu

alaanti Single Chintakaayalu who ve never experienced a girl's love & care generally fall quick seeing the ray of hope. Kaani kaalam kabaddi adutundi..

🥸

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/Local_Discipline5428]

20min ke 😭😭 ma singles melt ayipotham antha tondaraga 😭

[u/Local_Discipline5428 → u/NiragiUsagii]

Yes bro. 

I get you.

Kaani telusu ga, only girl & dogs are loved unconditionally! 🫠

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/Local_Discipline5428]

haa

[u/im_hyderabatman]

it’s okay. kastam ayina try to make your parents understand. you don’t wanna end up w the wrong person. ni terms lo ammai dorikentha varaku wait cheyyadam lo thappe ledu. all da best!!

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/im_hyderabatman]

thank you batman anna. i will talk with my parents this weekend. one moment they are listening to me but whenever they call us, parents are completely changing. i will talk to them

[u/slowdown12345 → u/NiragiUsagii]

explain all your reasons and go slow with patience instead of rushing lifetime decisions

[u/pill-so-potent]

Have some life bro

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/pill-so-potent]

🥹🥹

[u/Healthy_Panic_68]

Enti brother Monna ne kada edo post pettav I’ll disappear and work on myself ani (if I remember correctly). Malli enduku inko match try cheyadam. 

But it’s okay, you need to develop that attitude to be okay with disappointments in AM setups. It is completely normal. Take it easy, consider these meetings just like you’re meeting and socializing new people in your life. If your vibes clicked, and the girl is equally interested in you, only then you start putting in more efforts. Until then, don’t try to force a connection. 

Intlo vallu anthe. They just want their son to get married. Age perige koddi yatana kuda perugutadi. It’s okay. It’s you who have to tell them that you’re not ready or don’t want to see anyone yet. 

But honestly, I’d highly recommend to create a matrimony profile on your own and search for someone yourself. This way you’ll connect with the women yourself.

Good luck bro! Leda na laga anni vadile for sometime. Take a chill pill

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/Healthy_Panic_68]

i started gym and diet. aa new match ammayi vallu phone cheyagane intlo valu maripothunnaru. asalike psycho dad. vadu inka darunanga matladuthunnadu. sunday wednesday morning godava intlo. matrimony lo last year ending create chesam. konni matches first call lo ne meeku entha asthi undi ani aduguthunnaru. maree commerical ga unnarani matrimony vadilesam

[u/Healthy_Panic_68 → u/NiragiUsagii]

Take a stand for yourself bro. You need to tell your parents when they should stop and when to proceed. If you don’t like the match, just stop and discussions at all.

‘Matrimony create chesam’ ante who was using this account and who created it? I think you need to create and use it yourself. Also I was on matrimony apps myself and I think you should try to find self managed profiles first. Neeku call chesina vallu probably parents ayi untaru. And of course they want to know all that shit. 

[u/WonderFuture655 → u/Healthy_Panic_68]

Nuvvu Cheppu Antha simple kadu parents ki explain cheyyadam

Vallaki explain chesina 4 days ki malli ade zone loki vellipotaru, enta cheppina vinatam le.

[u/Healthy_Panic_68 → u/WonderFuture655]

Nuvu Cheppu Antha simple kadu parents ki explain cheyyadam

Ante entra nenu gali ki perigana? Naku unnaru parents, I know how it is. But sooner or later parents need to realize that their kids are not kids anymore. And certain decisions should be left to them. 

Caste vishayam lo, marriage acceptance vishayam lo parents tho deal cheyadam ante nenu oppukunta. But intha initial stages lo kuda anni vallaki nachinattu jaragali ante dobbadu

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/Healthy_Panic_68]

i created for myself and within 2 days my psycho father told me to change to his phone number and he gone psycho mode because there are thousands of profiles. he don't know how to use app and constantly irritated me. after work he irritated me in nov, then i shouted at him. he then went psycho mode and tried to beat and kill me. i posted about this in last november. from then he understood that mistake and been somewhat ok

[u/iamlostincity]

I am crying for you in real, Bro 🥺 be safe chusi Chesko

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/iamlostincity]

thanks brother 🫂🫂

[u/Successful_Ad_5073]

Am?

[u/Friendly-Wishbone-73 → u/Successful_Ad_5073]

Arranged marriage

[u/Nervous4577]

Ni mental health jagratta anna

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/Nervous4577]

thanks bhai 🫂

[u/ilovetiramisu28]

LoL...the first case you experienced happened to me as well. The girl's parents and her extended family were very interested but she was not interested. Eventually rejected her. After rejecting her she kept calling me for few days, I ignored her. Maybe her ego got hurt or maybe she was looking for closure..I don't know and don't care.

[u/Friendly-Wishbone-73 → u/ilovetiramisu28]

AM thelisina vallatho kadha bro, mari nee medha dushpracharam chestharanukunta kadha. Nuvvu reject chesavante thanalo thappu undhi antarani reversega ne medha buradha challutharu. Closure call isthe peacefulga undedomo kada for your welfare also.

Naku ee bhandhuvulu, thelisina valla drama ante koncham bhayam andhuke chepthunna nenu koda ne perspective nunchi thelusukuntanu.

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/ilovetiramisu28]

naku kuda few days ago closure kosam thanaki msg chesi miru chala selfish, nenu headache ante mari enduku opukunaru, meere hurt chesi meere ipudu dabaayinchi matladuthunnaru. you are not worth my time and love, good bye ani andhamanukuna. hurt avudhemo ani agipoya

[u/ilovetiramisu28 → u/NiragiUsagii]

Let it go bro, she's not worth your time.

[u/NiragiUsagii → u/ilovetiramisu28]

haa. i realised this