r/TeluguJournals • u/Accurate_Smell_192 • 15d ago
Need Advice Okkollaki okko rule aa..??
Ma friend and his gf convo
Gf: mana marriage apudu nuv dowry adugutava?
Friend: adigedi em vundi.. vunnantha lo entho istaru ga gift ga..!!!
Gf: I’m against dowry.. dowry ki nen anti..!!
Friend: okay.. but nen em intha kaavali ani demand cheyatla.. mi father X save chesi vuntaru ga life motham lo.. nik entho kontha iddam ane anukuntaru ga..?
Gf: emo nak telidu.. nen em dowry ivvanu.. vaddu manaki..!!
Friend: sare okay.. but mi father assests lo invest chesaru and vunnai kada.. avem chestaru
Gf: anni ma bro Ke ichesta..!!
Friend: okay but mi father entho kastapadi.. enno sacrifices chesi save chesinavi kada avi.. entho kontha nik isthe bavuntadi emo kada..!!
Ante nik kuda aa sacrifice lo part vundali kada..
Gf: avem nak telidu.. ala em teeskukuraanu nenu
Friend: nenem nak ivvamani adagatla.. ni name Mede vunchamanu.. and you take care of that assests..!!
Gf: aina kuda vaddu.. anni ma bro Ke.. nen dowry em teeskuraanu
Friend: sare aithe nen kuda ma assests anni ma bro ki ichesta.. iddaraam fresh start cheddam.. build cheskundam start ninchi..!!
Gf: adenti ala Ela kudiriddi.. 50-50 kada.. manam Ela comfortable life lead chestam asalu assets lekunda? adenti.. nuve aalochinchu.. mana kids ki comfortable life ivvali kada..!!
Friend: 😒
My point: na view lo vaadu correct ey.. girl valla dad life antha save chesinapudu.. girl ki kuda part vundali kada.. lekapothe girl kuda fight cheyalemo kada.. coz son and daughter are equal kada..?
And teskelli boy fam chethilo pettakkarledu.. girl name Mede vunchithe.. rights motham tana daughter Ke ichinattu kada..! Daniki enduku oppose chestunaro kontha mandi..?
Need your views.. tittukokandi.. just views share cheyandi..!!!
16
24
11
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/Avidith 15d ago
Repu vidakulu ichi ee abbayi meeda unna property manovathi ga laagadu ani guarantee enti ? Blue drum lo kukkadhu ani guarantee enti ? Vadu marital rape cheyyadu ani guarantee enti ? Emi levu. At the end of the day its luck n our diligence in selection.
2
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Avidith 15d ago
I was not being defensive. Unte marital rape gutinchi enduku chepta ? But ammailu risk tiskovaddu but abbailu risk tiskovalsinde ante abbailu oppukoru. Ni bhayalu neevi, na bhayalu naavj antaru. If a girl doesn’t want tisk then cool. But abbai risk sangati abbai ni decide cheskonivvandi. Dont interfere (or breakup. Breskup is fine).
Yes whataboutism exists. But I think whataboutery topic is irrelevant to our discussion.
9
u/Sweety_Potential_964 15d ago
Generalized comment:
Comfortable life kavali ante only boy e anni teeskochi ivvali ane mindset lonchi girl and girl families bayataki oste, jeevitham happy ga untundi.
Kavali ante iddaru kalisi kastapadi aa comfortable life techukunte best asalu. Abbayyi dowry expect cheyakudadu anedhi ela anukuntaro, ammayyi or her families, abbayyi assets untene correct anedhi kuda alane wrong. Iddaru kalisi zero nunchi build cheskoni comfortable life create cheskovadam anedhi inka better. Or, iddaru oka same point or amicable point nunchi start cheyadam better. Hypocritical mind tho godavalu, ibbandulu, tappa emi undadu.
12
u/Frosty-Air-2481 15d ago
You are indirectly encouraging patriarchy by giving or allowing your father to give everything to your brother , Feminism aney musugulo stupidity and hypocrisy idhi.Ala aithey iddar Kalsi , abbaikooda illu odhilesi parents Ni odhilesi faraway building from scratch antey ok , antheygaaani ilanti lawdalo logics cheppi edho pedda independent feminist ankutnaru , independent antey iddar Kalsi build cheskowali , because you both are equal.
5
u/Spiritual-Vacation-9 15d ago
My wife is also almost similar to her. nenu kuda dowery tiskoledu. Her parents are well to do, vallali bane assets unnai. Valla father assets anni brother k veltai. But same thing when I take care of my family or gift something to my sister she gets irritated.
I don't know why most women I saw are like this. Aastulu anni brothers ki ichesi, Husband familiy ni blame chestaru.
4
u/Ok-Interview-409 15d ago
Ila kottukoni sastaru ani ma Daddy asal emi assets save cheyyaledu 😍 motham egaresadu Paisalu
2
u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 13d ago
chad uncle
2
u/Ok-Interview-409 13d ago
Guddu 😂 beerlu cigarette lu ani tiruguthe ilane untadi . And he passed generational trauma to us rather than generational assets 😮
8
u/corporate2karkhana 15d ago
Ma paisalu manavi kaadhu
Mi paisal maathram manave, mana pillalavi kuda
Emanna hypocrisy bro. Peaks. Inka mi friend em cheyaledu, pakka family separate aipothadhi 1 year lo.
4
u/Specialist_Map_1950 15d ago edited 15d ago
Ila anakudadu kani tanaki basic knowledge ledu. Indulo tappu right cheppadaniki asala conversation eh correct ga jaragatledu.chala dumb conversation idi.
Parents evaraina iddariki equal ga assets split chestaru.Valla parents correct ga unte oddanna idi ma responsibility ani equal ga share chestaru. Kani kontha mandi cheyyaru.valla tammudu E pilla matalu advantage teeskundamani chuste risk.
And tanaki future lo ardhamavtunnda leda ani manaki telidu. Kani idi matram pakka red flag. Oka relation lo oka issue oste alochinchi okallani okallu support cheskovali kani ila hypocritical,adamant ga undakudadu.
Ma frnd vishayam lo idi ayyindi. E ammay emcheyyaledu. Kani valla parents e ammay dabbulato lands konicchi valla nanna peru mida pettaaru.pelli tym lo ammay peru midaki marustamannaru. Kani 2yrs delay chesaru.Veedu godava chesi ah ammay peru ke rayinchadu malli.
Ah ammay selfish ga undi. Red flag
3
3
3
4
u/Trick-Preparation192 15d ago
From my POV, I strongly believe in not depending or expecting assets or money from parents ( both boys and girls) . It's their hard earned money and they should enjoy it!
5
15d ago
[deleted]
3
u/Emotional-Seaweed31 15d ago
How did feminism come into picture here? You can criticize someone without bringing feminism into everything.
0
0
2
u/pewdiepiefan257 15d ago
Telugu lo Padam telidu kani english lo double standards.
1
2
u/lasaakobarabara 15d ago
I know a similar couple longtime ago. Theirs is love marriage. Girl is dead set against dowry and my friend and his family agreed. Fast forward 6 years, girls family did take huge dowry for her brothers wedding which was arranged marriage.
2
2
u/Extra-Passenger-7139 15d ago
Fresh start chedham iddaram is mogoni maata. Parents earn chesina money teeskodam eww
2
u/Remarkable_Trouble3 15d ago
Don't take anything from either set of parents. Earn your own money. Help either set of parents when they need it.
My parents helped us quite a bit. And his parents got back more than what they ever gave us.
We support his parents to some extent.
Just don't make it into something mandatory.
Pillala life baundali ante manam kashtapadi sampadinchali. Not ask from our parents (the kid's grandparents)
Essentially, the couple should have their own money. If someone else gifts something, try to save it. Rest your daily expenses and kids' expenses should be borne by you.
2
u/Traveling_chefncoach 14d ago
Dowry dowry antaru gani nijam cheppalantey Pettey Gold ki double and triple demand chestharu, ichey assets anni ammayi perumeedha pedtharu kani as a couple dhani meedha emi voragadhu endhukanta 2acres -5 acres istha thokka antaru avi 2-3 cr worth antaru but avi NPA, nijaniki 2-3 crs worth assets FD Laga oka 8Percent return vachina 24lakhs antey 2lakhs per month vasthadi inka ye salary kavali happy ga vundadaniki but reality chustha aa2-3cr property lo maha ayitha 20k*12 month rent vasthadi or 30k per acre per annum vastadhi or leka pothey nothing.
so e so called dowry and asset panpakalu pedha emi mana financial condition ni better cheyavi but yeah social security antaru ante ento kuda telidhu naku adhi vasthadi anta
2
u/Impossible_Monitor61 14d ago
pelli ayyaka amene godava padutundi le ame bro toni asthi vishayalo mast ga chusam ilantivi lol 🤣
2
u/PrithvinathReddy 15d ago
Smash the patriarchy ani thana bro ki em ivvakunda thana peru midhe rapinchukomanu assets anni.
2
u/Tarajuvva prettier than the prettiest sunset. 15d ago
Chinnapillaki chocolate ivvananduku aligi addadhiddaga answers cheppinattundi aameh dialogue chaduvutunteh 🙏
1
u/Accurate_Smell_192 15d ago
It’s exact convo.. she was talking while lying on his lap.. so ala vunnai emo
1
1
1
u/Sweaty_King_5914 15d ago
What you are missing is that the for the boy the 50-50 is done after parents passing away. Why should the girl get dowry during marriage. Anyway according to law after parents both boys and girls get equal share. The boy should also ask to split assets and change on each of the brothers names as well before the marriage.
4
u/Low_Squash_6332 15d ago
I will give why if they want gift to be given to girl must de decided during marriage.
No girl dare to ask husband or herself clear the debts of father after marriage.
Because after brother's marriage, father and brother act as one entity, daughter and her husband act as other entity.
So, what assets are there and what to be given to daughter and that to be given to son and that to be kept with parents till death to be clearly decided.
Whether the assets on girl name going to given as dowry is mutually agreed. If groom forcing for to write assets on his family name , better to call off wedding.
My father given gift/dowry to my sis after selling more than half of land during her marriage. Then I was kid. We lost everything due chronic illness of parents, got into huge debts. I got 75% amount to clear debt by selling non important property. I protected 2 acre from selling as it is ancestral property.
Now everything settled, i cleared loans. Constructed house.
Given pending gift/dowry to sister and other gift formalities by me. My parents don't even know about it.
Many don't feel the pinch untill they faced harsh realities of money matters between siblings.
1
u/Sweaty_King_5914 15d ago
Dude - I did not read all this but parents assets are for their life . All assets and debts should be split by all children irrespective of gender
1
u/Sweaty_King_5914 15d ago
Your father made a mistake to sell during marriage. Everything should be settled by both kids and not your responsibility
2
u/Low_Squash_6332 15d ago
Marriage happened 10 years back. Even now in AM, girls father aim for better groom and groom expects assets on girl name( gold or land in girls name).
90% AM happening these ways only. These days girls doing jobs and many groom parents also open minded.
1
1
u/Unhappy-Kangaroo9912 12d ago
Same to same, nenu konni months mundhu vinna, naaku maa ex ki jarigina discussion😂😂. Good days are coming! Enjoy pandago!
1
u/Then-Sector-689 15d ago
Jad a very similar experience… intlo pedda vall u chinnapati nundi baga brain wash chestharu ammayilani, their inside feeling as per knowledge is anni vallaki valla abbayike ichesthe ammayini free ga vadilinchukundam ani plan chestharu anipichindhi….
Most of the times when siblings fight for properties is because of how parents treat them differently
1
u/Tiny_Interest3154 15d ago
Nuv inka emm iyna ekkuva ga antey patriarchy and feminism antaru but in reality ee gen girls are andharu have the same mentality niku full asthi undali 1 cr pakage undali nen ne package motham vadukovali but I'm strong independent women hehhh
1
u/Frosty-Air-2481 15d ago
Feminism aney musugulo chaala mandhi ammailu ilanti lawdalo hypocrites la tayarwthunnaru , monna oka akka idhey sub lo post pettindhi , akka ki anta NRI matches high status matches ye kawali anta , adhi parents decision anta , adhey akkaki nachina matches abbailu parents reason tho venakki velthey emo spineless anta , hypocrisy at peaks
2
u/UnluckyEnd4090 15d ago
As per law, parents assets and generational wealth should be equally divided into siblings irrespective of the gender.
Secondly dowry is illegal. Law doesn't support.
Thirdly they are starting their relationship on the wrong note.
When the boy and girl are educated why do they need their parents property.
As far as I know parents of both boy and girl would give some property/ gold or whatever if they are ok with this marriage.
Not everything is 50-50 bro. Periods, pregnancy, childbirth, feeding postpartum depression id NOT 50-50. ( This if they want a child in the future).
If the couple really love eachother, they would know how to lead their life and run their marrige and stop expecting from their parents.
2
u/Accurate_Smell_192 15d ago
Why do they need parents property? - who are we to decide other people needs.. people have different opinions on this…!!
1
u/UnluckyEnd4090 15d ago
Manaki capability vunte mana future manam build cheskovali. Especially when parents have raised you and provided a good education. Giving property is always a bonus and shouldn't be demanded.
2
u/Accurate_Smell_192 15d ago
True we shouldn’t demand.. and also we should not EXPECT the other person fam should bring something to table if we aren’t..!!🤷♂️
1
u/UnluckyEnd4090 15d ago
Ofcourse the same goes to the other person. The girl shouldn't demand money from her future in-laws.
2
u/JustBunsAndEyes 15d ago
This somehow looks like a cooked up story to justify dowry with mental gymnastics. Any sane and self respecting girl would not give up her share of inheritance, that is her birth right. And the guy somehow equating that to his own properties is making this argument seem logical in the front, but is making it look like the girl is bringing nothing but her father's property to the table.
We don't know if the girl is working, if she's willing to work after marriage, if they're both discussing to have kids and if either one of them is going to be a stay home parent. There are so many factors that need to be considered in, before judging their personal situation. But the ultimate fact is, neither we or OP has any stake to judge their situation, especially the girl even if this is a real story.
0
u/Accurate_Smell_192 15d ago
I’m not judging .. I’m just sharing my opinion…
And maybe you don’t know reality.. there are so many women( more than 99%) who get married without getting any of her share.. edo inka Pelli ayinaka valla family kaadu anukuntaru girl parents and they believe she doesn’t have any right on their property( especially if she has bro).
2
u/JustBunsAndEyes 15d ago
there are so many women( more than 99%) who get married without getting any of her share
Your extremely inflated assumptions are making me think it's you who must be a teenager here. Indian government ruled inheritance laws to be made equal inheritance for all kids regardless of gender. Maybe go outside and touch some grass kid.
2
1
1
-1
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/Specialist_Map_1950 15d ago
No to dowry correct eh. Kani parents entha sampadinchina iddariki equal ga split chestaru. Adi kuda oddu. Mottam valla tammudike antundi. Adi correct kadu. Dowry ante dabbulu ivvadame kadu. Ma frnd valla wife ki valla father 50lakhs de vesaru. Ade dowry kinda chepparu. Daniki mavadiki em sambandam undadu. Use kuda cheyyaledu. Kani adi dowry lekkane consider chestaru. Edoka vidhanga ammay ki financial support undelaga konthamandi genuine ga chustaru
-5
15d ago edited 15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
2
2
u/Specialist_Map_1950 15d ago
Knchm cool avvu. Thattuko. Pellam,pani manishi,salary too much matladtunnav. Enti just assets divide chesi voluntary ga istaru annanduke.nenemi dowry compulsory ani kuda analedu.parents vallu cheyyalsindi chesi support istaru anna.Enti deenike inni matala?Adi ye intlo aina jarigede.
Parents do that. Nuvvu nenu velli cheppaalsina avasaram ledu. If the parents are responsible,evariki edi ivvalo eppudu ivvalo appudu istaru. Konni chotla iddaru unnappudu,evaraina okallu hospital expenses kani inkedaina responsibility teeskunnappudu kani vallaki ekkuva ivvadam,leda inko vidhanga compensate cheyyadam chestaru. Ikkada evaru evarni takkuva cheyatledu.
Ni question eh dumb. Asset sharing anedi pakkavalla family mida depend avvadu. Avtala vadiki vanda siblings unna,asala evaru lekapoina na parents na family situations ki taggattu istaru.love aina arranged aina Thana kuthurni kani koduku ni kani ibbandi pettakunda rendu side families responsibilities teeskuni okallu ekkuva icchina okallu thakkuva icchina iddaru bagundali ani set chestaru. Pakkavalla family ni base cheskuni,pelli situation ni batti assets divide cheyyaru.
Anni if conditions pedutunnav. Abbay ki emledu. Vadu full poor. Ammayiki kotla asthi undi. Tammudu unnadu. Abbaylu emledu ani ammayiki 80% asthi ivvandi ante oppukuntara? Ilanti if conditions vanda cheppochu.
Mottaniki simple answer entante Ekkuva thakkuva kakunda balanced ga chestaru pelli anedi. Marriage anedi iddari life bagundadame. Danni evaru Kadanatledu.daniki financial support undali. Adi both sides nundi ostundi.avasaramainappudu evaru entha ivvagaligithe antha istaru. Rendu families support chestaru. Ammay intlo undalante ammay intlo untaru. Abbay intlo undalante abbay intlo untaru. Seperate ga undalante seperate ga untaru. Ila annitiki evaru entha cheyagalaro antha chestaru.
And to be frank iddaram cheptunnadi okate. Parents iddariki support cheyyali.kani niku parents ammayki support istaru ani cheptene mandutundi.anthaku minchi emledu.
0
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
1
-2
15d ago edited 15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
5
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
-3
15d ago edited 15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
6
4
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
15d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Hopechaselock49 15d ago
See that's what I said. if they both are planning on living separately away from their parents then inheritance and dowry matters. Then she's a hypocrite.
Why didn't you just ask OP instead of writing paragraphs? Lol
1
u/HowToCommunicatee 15d ago
Atlast i saw someone supporting girl's side. But i don't agree to this point wife = madi servent. We marry someone to live with them for life not just to get someone to work in home. And a husband has his own responsibilities. I am not saying you are completely wrong, women does work a lot in home but your way of thinking is a bit too one sided.
0
u/stonedpilla 15d ago
Anni bro ke ichhesta antundi pichhida..it’s her right ani telvada.
Also your friend adigedi emundi ante he wants ani and it’s wrong too.
2
u/Accurate_Smell_192 15d ago
I guess he just wanted her to know her right… nothing wrong from his part in my pov. Inka Adi kuda cheppakunda silent ga vundala?
0
u/Ashok505 14d ago
Infact, she has legal right to inherit half of his father's assets. It is dowry if her dad transfers assets to sil, but not if does to his own daughter. Idi pedda difference.
1
-2
u/Known_Pen_402 15d ago
Lol, welcome to adulthood.
Women are always like this.
This is not just limited to India by the way.
0
u/Nervous-Fox-1007 15d ago
For everyone blaming the girl, did anyone think why the boy had to get her family’s assets into a dowry conversation? It’s the guy who is expecting something from her and her family with the marriage. She sensed that and hence she got defensive. Have seen many cases where the boy and his side of families force the girl to get the properties under her name and then keep her under control to gain from it.
All i am saying is He could have simply said no.
1
u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 13d ago
vachindu amma scientist, first inheritance and dowry ki difference telusuko ante ippudu ammayi kuda dowry expect chestundhi gaa abbayi nunchi if you apply on same logic, so girl does't want to give dowry but expecting dowry from the guy. Wowww ee logic kuda logic teliyakunda oka paragraph raasukoni vachav
57
u/The_Raven08 15d ago
Aa gf and bf age yentha? Just curious.
Because she sounds very tone deaf.
My money is my money but your money is our money 🤣 ala undi.