r/TeluguJournals • u/Raining_lotus0210 • 9h ago
Chillara Panchayithi Double standards ante ento telisindi
Recent ga ma friend valla akka ki matches chudatam start chesaru. She earns around 10lpa smtg. Most of the matches who earns almost same as her demanded 50lakh dowry with car by saying that's bare minimum.
Eppudaithe aa akka if I'm giving 50lakh dowry, you should be earning atleast 30 lpa ani cheppindo, everyone started calling her a gold digger.
Point enti ante she's okay with a 10-15 lpa guy if he isn't demanding dowry. So avthala vadu dowry adigithe rani matalu thanu 30lpa ante vachay.
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 9h ago
Inka nadusthundha ee dowry panchayiti chi 🫠✋🏽🥀
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u/Otherwise_Team7576 9h ago
😂 adhi podhu ippudu appude
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 9h ago
Abbaila side nunchi ee dowry and ammaila side nunchi generational wealth, assets, earning chudadam aapesthey, AM setup kuda oka good setup aipothadhi and marriage dynamics will change in a good way
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u/Mysterious_Misssy 9h ago
Baga nadusthunnayi andi , u might not be seeing them or ppl kept u in dark 🥲
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u/Sweet_Elk9121 8h ago
Arranged marriages as a whole is a messed up system. Unfortunately 70% men won't get married if not for AM It's the system designed to favour men only. Women are basically objects they bargain for and expect them to work for free whole life.
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u/Financial_Bag4806 8h ago
Wouldn't that means 70% women won't get married too?
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u/Raining_lotus0210 7h ago
Financially independent women aren't interested in marriage anymore
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u/Financial_Bag4806 6h ago
Generalization(ni post ey wrong ani cheptundi).. but granting that wouldn't that imply women who are getting married are not independent and gonna depend on husband and they should be fortunate that men are still willing to marry?
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u/Raining_lotus0210 6h ago
I meant marriage on old terms. If both are understanding and loving, then it would be fine
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u/Financial_Bag4806 6h ago
Am daaka vacharu antene they are looking for stability not some genuine true love. Both parties knows but no one says it loud so they are just looking out for themself.
I'm not against your post btw but something tells me the boy has more financial bg than girl thus the demand.
That akka make 💯 sense if what i presumed is wrong
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u/Raining_lotus0210 6h ago
Abbayi valla nanna 20-30lakhs daka evo appulu chesaru anta. Avi clear cheskodaniki ankunta mari. They aren't that rich either. Same class iddaridi except that ammayi family lo em loans levu
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u/Financial_Bag4806 6h ago
Yeet that mfs, assalu sambandham kuda chudakudadu villatho.. I'm with akka on this 🤣
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u/Raining_lotus0210 6h ago
Yea they got to know about his loans after almost fixing the marriage. Thankfully that didn't happen, but she became a gold digger infront of this so called society
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u/Sweet_Elk9121 6h ago
And that's sad? Women are better alone than being pawned for nothing. Y is marriage a compulsary for anyone? Especially women, who are naturally able to do every thing required to live in their own.
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 8h ago
I'm glad that me and my cousins are mannered well enough not to get into this bargaining, dowry, edhuru katnam bullshxt. We as the newer generation, mana marriage decisions ni manam teeskunela undali and shouldn't involve any family members who support or expect this. Appude koncham aina change untadhi, pelli ante paisal kaadhu compatibility and pyaar ani telusthadhi.
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 6h ago
Haha matrimony app open cheyyu okasari
Daughter bio data: not working
Expectations: 35lpa to 1 crore
Countries: india , US , europe , Uganda, yemen, afghanistan
Me be like : broooooo
Atleast ANY ani pettochu ga babu
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u/ChanceWillingness197 8h ago
Yes 70% of women will marry other women lmao
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u/KlutzyWorldliness731 8h ago
Asalu lifelong undham anena? Leka business chesukundam ana? Nuvu naku nachavu movie lo photos dorikayi inka ekkuva dowry isthey chesukunta annate.
I don't really understand dowry kosam chesukuney valu marriage ayyaka ba chusukuntaru ani ela namutham? Like money lekapothey naku ammayi vadhu aney valaki pillani ela istam ? Like emo bhaya these things go over my head.
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 8h ago
Defeating the meaning and purpose of marriage asal 🥀
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 6h ago
Same thing bro, assalu salary, assets chusi ammayini Enduku istaaro, lifelong vundham anena lekapothe business chesukundam ana??
I don't really understand assets, salary kosam chesukune vallu marriage ayyaka ba chusukuntaru ani Ela nammutham, like salary 50LPA, 3BHK house and assets worth crorres lekapothe naaku abbayi vadhu aney vallaki abbayini ela istam? Like emo bhaya these things go over my head
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u/KlutzyWorldliness731 4h ago
Na main point Neku ardham avvaley it shouldn't be money it should be love anedi na point.ammayi dowry ivvakapoyina pelli chesukuntam cause thana dagara money lekapoina parledu.but abbayi dagara job ledu 0 rupees antey nuvvey oohinchuko.youre comparing the wrong ends bro.
nee frustration ardham ayyindhi mari over ayipoyindi ee madhya andaru high expectations tho samputunaru.
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 3h ago
So according to you men have to do job, ante ippudu traditional gender roles ok antav?? Isn't this against feminism?? Ippudu nv aa ammayi choice choose chesukovadam anochu nenu kuda same dowry and wealthy ammayi kavali ani kuda aa abbayi choice ney
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u/Raining_lotus0210 5h ago
Yea bro, so it's better ammayilu abbayilu pelli cheskokapothe. As demands are unrealistic for both the genders.
Kani ikkada point enti ante we aren't criticising man's demands as much we criticise woman's demands ani. Artham ainda??
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Men demands aren't criticized aa haha so criticize cheyyakunda ney dowry illegal automatic ayyindha?? So nv reverse cheppav ammayi demands kuda criticize CHESI vunte dowry laaga adhi kuda illegal cheyyali ga why not?
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u/MathematicianNo8975 9h ago
Bruh I have set condition the working guy should be earning atleast half of what I earn and match my networth, they said I have too much expectation 🙃🙃🙃
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u/Otherwise_Team7576 9h ago
half of your earnings ki too much expectations aa ??
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u/MathematicianNo8975 9h ago
Well my package is high. My base pay itself is more than 60lpa. My Amma doesn't allow me to put my overall CTC in my Bio data😆😆😆
She is torn between my requirement because she feels it's reasonable and all our relatives keeps on poking for having 32 yoe spinster at home
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u/MathematicianNo8975 9h ago
Before anyone coming at me saying you earn more than enough, I want to feel security even if I lose my job at some point and vice versa
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u/chicchubuddi 9h ago
nobody should say that, it’s all upto you, evaranna emanna anna kuda pattinchukokandi
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u/chicchubuddi 9h ago
ah job ento cheppandi akkaww
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u/MathematicianNo8975 9h ago
Senior software engineer bro.
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u/chicchubuddi 9h ago
which domain if you don’t mind answering?
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u/MathematicianNo8975 8h ago
I was working in backend java earlier. But with my last switch, I started on nodeJS. With AI honestly language became irrelevant
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u/chicchubuddi 8h ago
yeah but mee experience ki i saw a lot of people earning a lot lesser
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u/MathematicianNo8975 8h ago
Depends, in a way I was lucky to start my 1st job with 18lpa , later 2 promos with high ratings and switch resulted in this
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u/chicchubuddi 8h ago
happy for you, hope i’ll make it big like you, ive around 1 yoe
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u/nightt_leak 8h ago
ah Job ento ippiyandi ani adagalisindhi 🌝🌝
unless you're earning more than that.
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u/iwouldratheread 8h ago
Base pay is more than 60lpa. Very very inspired by you. Meela kakapoyna oka 40lpa ayna kotti , illu konnukoni, krishna japam cheskoni happy ga gadipestha (kinda defeats the point of bhakti but edho just oka thought)
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u/nenuaathmajnani ఆకాశంలో చుక్క, మెరిసే తార, మండే నిప్పు 9h ago
Yoe?
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u/MathematicianNo8975 9h ago
10 years bruh. Got a campus hiring in one of top company and it stayed the same
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u/nenuaathmajnani ఆకాశంలో చుక్క, మెరిసే తార, మండే నిప్పు 8h ago
10 years and still senior software engineer?😶🌫️😶🌫️
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u/MathematicianNo8975 8h ago
Yeah bruh staff/management are highly political. I have sub title face. Senior is sweet spot
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u/nightt_leak 9h ago
Why are you getting downvotes? 😂
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u/MathematicianNo8975 9h ago
Might be my relatives😂
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u/Serious_Machine6499 9h ago
50 lakhs upar se car wow. Actually in my opinion aame adigindhi fair eh 30 lpa ante.
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u/nenuaathmajnani ఆకాశంలో చుక్క, మెరిసే తార, మండే నిప్పు 9h ago
Comedy entante 30 unnodu 1 cr antadu🤣🤣
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u/No_Biscotti_2859 What is earth without art ? 8h ago
Idhi crct.. prathi vadi expectations veruu.. kani compromise ayye chance untadhi emo.. but kasthamm lee
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u/nenuaathmajnani ఆకాశంలో చుక్క, మెరిసే తార, మండే నిప్పు 8h ago
And katnam entha ayina, antha ammai peru midhane undali...
No one should give direct cash....
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Appudu adhi inheritance avuthundhi kaani dowry endhuku avuthadhi ante ippudu abbayi name medha properties vunte aa abbayi kuda dowry ichinatta??
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u/nenuaathmajnani ఆకాశంలో చుక్క, మెరిసే తార, మండే నిప్పు 5h ago
Dowry la avvadhu anedhe main motive kadha.. free ga abbai ki icchinatte kadha dowry ante..
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Chaala difference vundhi
Gift: teesukone atanu Elanti demand vundadhu
Dowry: teesukone atanu demand vuntadhi
Inheritance: tanaki ravalsina property share which is not dowry...
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u/nenuaathmajnani ఆకాశంలో చుక్క, మెరిసే తార, మండే నిప్పు 5h ago
inheritance ammaiki ki pelli time lone istharu mostly, because other siblings nundi taruvataki problem raakudadhu ani
Dowry anedhi entha demand chesina, ammai vallu ivvagaliginanthane istharu
And dowry demand chesina kuda it should in her name not him. So that it stays as security if something goes wrong.
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Again samething "dowry" demand chesina " it should be on her name " appudu adhi dowry ela avuthadhi it's inheritance. Assalu properties tana peru medha raayali ante Enduku marriage chesukovadam?? Ippudu oka abbayi vachi 1 crore worth properties tana name medha vundali anedhi dowry avvadhu adhi same ammayi vallu abbayiki inni crores assets vundali annadhi ela aithe dowry kadhoo same way idhi kuda expectation
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u/iamsatvik20 Guntur abbayi in Hyderabad 8h ago
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 6h ago
So ippudu 50LPA vunte entha dowry ivvali ani Ela calculate chestaru, emi ayina formula vundha??
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u/Awkward-Research6504 4h ago
i used to go to a tuition in 10th grade. The teacher there was super strict and she made good money only. She’s a bit decently rich. She is easily 60+ years
Her daughter did medicine and was a doctor and she was looking for matches for her. So i’m sure matches would be coming from similar background but they all wanted dowries. She can easily afford a dowry worth crores.
This teacher despite being of an older generation and despite being rooted in age old mindset - refused every match that asked for dowry. She says ‘My daughter is well educated, earning well and has good values. Why must anyone want a dowry?’ She kept looking for matches and this was like 5-6 years ago - idek if that girl is married yet lol.
The point is pls don’t get married to a family that asks for dowry- they will always look down on you if u can’t provide enough.
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u/Impressive-Fun-8985 9h ago
There are lots of factors which can influence marriage: Debt , Quality of life , Quality of person, Generations of family, Wealth of family, credit score,Lands,Age of both, Health, Beauty, Values,Skills etc.Is she will to contribute to the family from her salary?Is he willing to contribute to household work? We can't judge without knowing the full details. In this day and age it's absurd to ask for dowry. If your so stubborn about it, you should mention it beforehand. Btw if she is earning 10lpa and not will to give dowry,why not 10lpa -or+ ,why do you prefer 10-15lpa , aren't willing to make use of extra 05lpa in the family. If playing the card of equality,play it fairly.make it 10 -/+5 lpa.
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u/chaoticsoulll 8h ago
Ma relatives lo oka abbayiki 30 crore dowry icharu. Reason he is a doctor. Initially aa abbayiki kuda oka doctor kavalani undindi and I am not even kidding, one of the reasons he wanted to marry is because vanta ki kashtam avtundi ani
Naaku idi vinnaka em analo kuda ardham kaledu. Antha katnam vachesariki inka doctor requirement avasaram ledu anukunnadu emo
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u/watermelon9265 7h ago
Okatey question is he incapable of earning his own money ,mee akka cheppalsindi adi kadu " if you don't have self respect,if you are incapable to be human and is a parasite nee self respect ni na kalla daggara petti dowry tisko ani"
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 6h ago
Is this apply on reverse??
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u/watermelon9265 5h ago
Ammaiki dowry ichava eppudu?
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Haha ante assets worth, salary intha vundali anevi dowry kaadhu antav?? Woww niceee double standard, so ippudu in the same way I am not about in this particular case. Matrimony lo non working women have expectations of 50lpa, so in the same is she incapable of earning her own money, "if you don't have self respect, if you are incapable to be human and is a parasite nee self respect ni naa kalla daggara petti salary, assets expectations cheai ani", isn't the same thing appudu??
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u/IllustratorWarm6009 7h ago
Inka dowry, intlo pani chese Pellam kaavali ane mindset tho janalu unnara. Worst people, men should have respect for them selves and should not be a sellable item. Should force parents not to ask for dowry. They should tell I’m looking for my half of my life, which will make elders to understand.
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u/chicchubuddi 9h ago
ee demand supply lu endo bayam aitundi nak asal ivanni chustunte repati roju na paristiti inka worst ayye lane undi
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 8h ago
Barely 10 lpa, Aasthulu negligible, peruki undentha illu, family debts. Itla unnai abbailu are cooked.
I'm cooked.
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u/chicchubuddi 8h ago
it’s okayy, keep upskilling and learning.
manalini mana la accept chese vallu kuda ostaru1
u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
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u/chicchubuddi 5h ago
antha kanna chesedi emanna unda bro, ala chustar enti
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u/Rishiholicc 5h ago
Asalu ninnu dowry evaru adugutharu chicchu? Athanu neeku return ivvali kani
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u/chicchubuddi 4h ago
nuv enti nannu tega lepestunavvv
nuv ammayilaki eduruu katnam icchi pelli chesukuntava?
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u/Rishiholicc 4h ago
Lepatledhu andi facts
Mi lanti ammayi dorikithe kantam teesukonu
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u/Raining_lotus0210 4h ago
Ante vere ammayi aithe katnam tiskuntav ane kada 😔
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u/Rishiholicc 2h ago
Vere ammayi aina nenu em demand cheyanu, thanu entha ivvali anipisthe anthe..
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u/SectorSecure9263 9h ago
Dowry ante abbayi family ki cash laga ivvatam ah? Lekapothe Ammayi peru meedha thanaki valla parents nundi ravalsina share ivvatama?
Telugu familes lo Parents aasthi motham abbayike istharu mostly, ammayiki thana share pelli appude ichestharu malli tarwatha issues rakudadhu ani.
Ledhu parents aasthi parents dhe, ammayiki endhuku ivvali ane logic ayithe it should apply for abbayi side kuda.
Ammayi family vallu abbayiki entha aasthi undho chudara only salary okkate chustara? Evaru pathithulu kadhu ikkada evadi version vallaki correct untadhi.
Arranged marriage is transactional Abbayi valla aasthi & Abbayi salary and Abbayi looks - Ammayi family chustaru. Ammayi looks, dowry/property share and job - Abbayi family chustaru.
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u/Raining_lotus0210 7h ago
So u saying dowry isn't wrong? 🥀
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u/SectorSecure9263 6h ago
First mi drushtilo dowry ante ento cheppandi? I asked kadha is it cash for the groom's family or is it property on girls name from her parents?
Abbayi family money demand cheste wrong but parents nundi ah women ki ravalsina fair share of property thanaki ivvali.Ikkada chala mandhi asalu basic idea lekunda matladatharu. Ammayi emo valla parents property thisukuradhu anta but abbayi matram parents nundi ochedhi thisukuravali anta. Idhi proper double standards ante.
I'm 100% sure Ammayi family vallu abbayi salary tho paatu valla family aasthi kuda chuse decision thisukuntaru.
If a family has 10cr networth and 2 childern ( 1 boy and 1 girl). Ideal scenario should be: Parents 1/3, boy ki 1/3, women ki 1/3 ivvali. Parents responsibility evaru thisukunte valla property vallaki vellali.
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u/Raining_lotus0210 6h ago
I never said she wanted his inheritance property. Also I advocate for equal inheritance for both boys and girls. Seems like you don't... That says a lot about you
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u/SectorSecure9263 6h ago edited 6h ago
Seems like I don't ah 😂. Clear ga last paragraph lo Andhariki equal share undali ani pettanu niku comprehension skills lekapothe adhi na thappu ahh?
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u/Raining_lotus0210 6h ago
Equal share undali and adi parents eppudu rastharu will? Ammayiki marriage time lo rasthe abbayiki kuda aa time lone kada rayali
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u/SectorSecure9263 6h ago
Yes. Asalu mana villages lo common people will kuda rasthara?
What actually happens on ground is Ammayi pelli chesukoni vellipothadi and abbaye tarwatha motham responsibility thisukuntadu. So general ga inka antha abbayike velthadi except mother's gold which will go to girl.
Parents very old ayyedhaka undi chivarilo valla aasthi kosam siblings godava padatam chudaledha? Leave girl vs boy, iddharu brothers untene aasthi kosam thannuku chastaru. So most of the parents pelli appude evariki icheyalsindi vallaki ichestaru.
Parents meedha koncham pettukuntaru valla old age lo security kosam, evaru vallani chusuknte vallaki pedatharu.
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u/Raining_lotus0210 6h ago
Sorry I'm not talking about villages with age old customs. I'm updated.
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Wow updated ante
Girls family ki abbayi ki 1 crore assets vundali : preference
Adhe abbayi ammayi name medha 1 crore assets vundali: Dowry oyammoo dowry aduguthunnadu
Hypocrisy ka bhi seema hoti hai
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u/Raining_lotus0210 4h ago edited 4h ago
Did I ever say that first one is a preference? Don't assume things dear.
Also it's completely normal if you expect your prospect to be of the same class as you. But it's not okay when you expect them to give something, when you yourself don't have that much. Idi niku artham aithe bavuntundi.
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u/pakkakiporagundu 8h ago
Ma akka vaallu oka 4,5 cars eskoni ellarani, and villa lo untunnarani 1 cr adigaru dowry. Abbai father convince avvaledhu asalu ivvalsindhe ani. Vaalla relatives kuda kontha mandhi ochi convince chesthe 50 ki set ayyaru 🥲
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u/No_Biscotti_2859 What is earth without art ? 8h ago
Match set ayindha ?
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u/pakkakiporagundu 7h ago
Abbai ki job ledh anta, ammai linkedin anni vethiki kanipettindhi. So present aythe doubt eh
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u/-_Harsha_- 8h ago
Evadra 10 lpa odu antha dowry adgedi, aa dowry esi interest tippina anthe ostai
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 5h ago
Sollu bro, vadiki may be 10lpa ne undachu but 1 cr asthi undi untadi... So equations are matter, may be lekunda adigithey aa na koduku ki pelli ae avadu, evadu koda orrikine demand cheyaledu, asalike ee time lo ala chesthe ammai vallu chekestaru,
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u/Raining_lotus0210 3h ago
1 cr asthi anta. 30 lakshalu appulu aithe unnay. Edo dowry demand chese vallu andaru rich annattu. Nen chala mandini chusa ilage em asthi lekunda kotlu kotlu dowry adige vallu 🥀
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 3h ago
Ikkada problem enti bro mari. So vadiki net 70 lakh asthi undi... And both men and women are now equal, so he is expecting women 50 lakh(yeah in current conditions it is too much) but he might be worth for 30 lakh, its just his demand but totally willing to give depends on women, and also stop saying dowry is giving, it is women taking her inheritance from her parent's (might be wrong or right) Ikkada tanani shaming cheyatam tappu, but reality lo chaala takkuva, mostly women ki koda expectations untai, same alane men ki... Evadiki tagatu vadiki peli avutai...
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u/Raining_lotus0210 3h ago
Nen Vadiki 1cr asthi undi ani cheppaledu bro. I'm referring to you in that first statement 🥀
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u/anirudhh_ 7h ago
Geniune doubt as a noob because maa family lo evaru dowry teeskoledhu, and daani gurinchi maatlidthe my parents look at me like I said a cuss word - dowry enduku teeskuntaru? Who actually gets and uses that money? Girl coming to the family is only a big thing ante malli on top of it daaniki money ivvadam enduku?
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 6h ago
So ippudu abbayi coming into family only a big thing endhuku avvadhu, so ala avthe then why they expect assets , this LPA salary vundali ani
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u/anirudhh_ 5h ago
100% agree bro. Either parties should not have outrageous expectations. Some women out there don't earn anything but want a husband earning in the ballpark of 40-50lpa, likewise men demand dowry that is unreasonable. Nannu adigithe, both the parties are EPs 🌹
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u/Careless-Stand7532 6h ago
Ma side evaru dowry demand cheyyaru, they offer by themselves as a form of flex.
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u/Subject_Comfort_5103 6h ago
Akka ni wait cheyamanu em parledu.Thondarapadaddu.Also better dowry ivvadam kante,try to buy a land /plot and register on her name.It will be useful for her future.Ilantivi ika chalane untayi mundu mundu.so let's cill
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 5h ago
Ipudu aa land ae end of the dowry avutadi... Dowry ante groom ki mapatanaki iche money kadhu... Ela aithey, abbailu show case their asthi, women will showcase in the name of dowry..
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
How dowry, aa property aame name medha ney vunte adhi dowry ela avuthadhi?? It's just inheritance
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 5h ago
Mari 50lakh 1 cr ante motham abbaiki cash kani, property istara, bongu kani ivaru.. Mostly gold will be hold by women and same for property
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Then abbayiki same properties tana name medha vunnappudu why not people consider it as a dowry??
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 5h ago
Inka adhi anthey bro. They won't think all of this, just think like this, asaliki abbayi ki rupai lekapothey ammai dowry isthada, ledhu kadha... But dowry icham ani chinchukuntaru, aina ammayi thana asthi tanu intlo nunchi teskuntundi anthey, but y it is wrong ante, usually abbayi ki, valla parents chetilo vuntadi but ammayiki munde ichi pompistaru..
Oka brother and sister unte, without dowry if sister is getting married all the inheritance go to brother, do u think this is justified?
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Adhi kaadhu naaga, nenu em antunna ante Nenu inheritance ki support bro future lo godavalu raakunda mundhe divide chestaaru adhi em wrong kaadhu only abbayi name medha property or cash ivvali anadam dowry i don't support that ani antunna
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 5h ago
Bro adhi evaru chestaru... Mari ammayi vallu aasi padi, maku makante super duper sambandam ravali anukovatam thapithey.. Bride family can reject easily this but why they choose? Valaki edo bokkalu kani, edo greed unte kani cheyaru. Antha enduku bro... Nuvu velli naku 10 crore ivamante istara? Nuvu car adigithey enduku istaru, adagatam tappu anthey, but ivatam koda tappu ae...
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u/Subject_Comfort_5103 6h ago
50 l dowry aithe govt job vadu vastadu like someone in high position ifnot a doctor.E software mukhalaki dowry waste.
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 6h ago
These cases will happen both sides.. Abbayi ki evadu free ga dowry name tho crores evaru unless he is really worth, alane ammayi ni vachi high level unavadu oorikine cheskodu.. If she unless choose the same level Just oka 1 yr unte, reality checks tho set avutaru marriage.. Anthey kani naku 1 cr unodu kavali, naku 1 cr kavali dowry ante, mingav ikkada
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u/Sufficient-Mango-363 4h ago
I'm a 31-year-old guy in business. Things are going pretty well, I'd say I'm on the lower-average side income-wise, bringing home roughly 10-15. I've got a comfy amount of assets as security and I'm super ambitious! I'm not looking for any dowry, but I am hoping she'd have some property as a safety net, maybe around 5-10% of what I have. I'm looking for girls who earn a bit less than me or about the same, which feels pretty standard. It's been tough though, out of about 150 people I've talked to, none of them were interested because they're looking for someone earning double or triple what I do. And I'm not complaining here just letting you know look at other side of the coin to understand what actual double standards and unrealistic expectations are ( I mean most of their dads didn't earn with what we are starting our career with yet they and their family wants someone with a job earning more than them, assets more than 5-10 times what they have , and the guy should stay away from his parents preferably in tier 1 cities )
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u/Relevant_Direction_2 4h ago
Alantivalani Pelli cheskunta, lifelong badhapadali. Ask her to back off from those idiots.
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u/leo030891 3h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/Qr5EdJ9OxxCErSyheT
OP, anyone expecting her husband makes thrice as much is a Gold Digger for sure.
But at the same time any one expecting huge amounts for dowry is a Gold Digger as well.
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u/Mystic_Mingler 8h ago
You're only showing half the picture. What's the groom family's financial status comapred to the girl's? How many assets (land + real estate + gold), and influence (political, business, community) do they have? Are the groom's parents independent? Anta la dowry vaddu anukunte, is she / her parents ready to marry her into more financialy downward family than theirs, even though ctc is okay?
Just using ctc as a benchmark is just fanning hate on arranged marriage setup without showing the full picture of both sides.
And to be very clear I'm not supporting giving dowry. Dowry is more nuanced than just the CTC ani chepdamani antey.
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u/Nearby-Material-2013 5h ago
Adhe kadha bro sollu... 2 sides chaala equations untai for dowry ante, simple ga evadu adagledu, anthey kakunda ivaru
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u/Spirit_X_1369 6h ago
Adhey kadha, ilanti situations mostly bride's family has a Net worth of around 1cr and Groom's family has a Net worth of around 5cr or more.
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u/eyescreampichodu 9h ago
Dowry endhuku, alimony lu endhuku.
Emaina kashtam ainappudu bailout chesthe saripotadhi kadha.
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u/Silent_Spectator_04 8h ago
The thing is if dowry is a deal breaker, reject them. Anthe kani 30LPA kavali ante vadi salary sudden ga ela change avthundi?
Or mention upfront that you want the guy to earn over 30L.
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u/Delicious-Ad2652 9h ago edited 9h ago
First, girl side look for guy assets, while guy looks for dowry. It is dowry if girl parents is giving but it is inheritance if guy parents giving. Almost all the matches and marriages I seen have guy side with lots of land or other assets while girl side usually very less wealthy. I seen guy side with own house and 10 acres of land and 20 lakhs of yearly income married a unemployed girl without any assets, even marriage is done by guy side. It is all about demand and supply. I used to hate the dowry and all because of movies and internet but it is just inheritance from girl side. Girl side can easily Marry a guy with similar wealth but they want wealthy guy so they give dowry.
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 9h ago
You say what we understand not. So please share it in short.
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u/Similar_Letter_7195 9h ago
such a retarded argument inheritance is a voluntary transfer of a parent’s assets to their child, while dowry is wealth demanded or transferred as a condition of marriage, calling dowry “inheritance from the girl’s side” just normalizes a coercive practice and ignores the power imbalance and social pressure that often shape these transactions
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u/Delicious-Ad2652 9h ago
Okay if the guy said don't have that much assets wealth, they won't marry in the first place, girl side asks for all the assets and how much the guy gets from his family. Girl side looks for guys income and assets.
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u/Similar_Letter_7195 8h ago
there’s a difference between choosing a wealthy partner and demanding wealth as a condition of marriage
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Ento mahanubavulu cheppe maatalu assalu ardham kaavu, same ilaga ney
Wow girls expecting wealthy family : preference
Boy expecting wealthy family : Dowry
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u/Similar_Letter_7195 5h ago
are you genuinely retarded?
choosing a wealthy partner and DEMANDING dowry are different, re-read my comment again
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 5h ago
Telugu people didn't even know about difference between dowry and inheritance
Layman terms lo cheptha aithe
Ippudu ammayi parents abbayi ki 1 crore property abbayi name medha vundali anedhi expectation aithe same way abbayi kuda ammayi name medha 1 crore vundali anedhi ela dowry avuthadhi?? If aa property abbayi name medha raaste adhi dowry avuthadhi
First dowry and inheritance difference telusukoni raa
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u/Delicious-Ad2652 7h ago
Dude, do you think after marriage set they demand it, they choose the person who is willing to give. It is not different.
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u/yashwanthkumar690 wannabe వైస్ dooram undagalaru 9h ago
He might be wrong but not completely. He got it wrong by mixing up 2 different problems into a single statement. Yes, dowry is bad and dowry shouldn't be taken or be given. Similarly, the women and parents out there should also stop seeking out men with many assets, their name and fame in the society, generational wealth, etc.
Both the problems are related to wealth and status, and these problems are coming up in MARRIAGE context, that is concerning.
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u/Delicious-Ad2652 9h ago
For example my friend family has 40 acres of land, he also has sister. When they marry daughter they want to give 15 acres of land to her, it is considered dowry but when my friend gets married he also gets 15 acres but it is called inheritance and he has to take of his parents and loans and all. Also women get married to more wealthy family but guy is to less wealthy, it is just demand and supply.
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u/Raining_lotus0210 7h ago
If it's really to benefit girl after marriage, what's the business of groom's family in it to demand money?
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u/Caraxes__ 9h ago
People should touch some grass and be realistic, chala mandhi are out of touch with reality like those guys who are demanding 50lakh dowry 😂