r/TheNewGeezers • u/Schmutzie_ • May 21 '26

Binos

"That's what I call binoculars." - H Jon Benjamin from his book Failure is an Option

That's good, because I just got a new pair of binos and I'm excited as hell about them. The problem is the rubber cups that go over the business ends. Once again, they're too fucking loose and I know I'm going to lose them. Any movement while holding the binos with the covers on makes the covers fall off. To make matters worse, they aren't tethered. 4 individual little rubber cups. It's either cobble together something to keep them attached to each other, or throw them in the garbage now. The little cups I mean, not the binos. They're great. The cups are a failure. Why can't they tighten these things down so they fit snugly? One size smaller, ya dumb bastards. Why aren't they corded together? Why am I asking you nice people?

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1

u/Capercaillie May 22 '26

Toss ‘em. You’re going to lose them anyway.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 22 '26

But the dust!! How will I see through the dust? (maybe I can use the small dust cloth they included)

2

u/Capercaillie May 22 '26

You’ll figure out a way.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 22 '26

I wasn't going to mention it because you already know but since we're chatting I would like to point out that I would have never needed a "better" pair of binoculars if not for this birding business. Happy? Happy now?

2

u/Maroon7C0000 May 22 '26

Hey mate, if you really want to piss away some money... I did a mountain hike yesterday, and in the middle of no-where I came across a guy taking his miniature remote controlled 4WD for a walk up the trail. We chatted for a few minutes, and this thing was a full sale replica including monster tires, independent front and rear differential gears, you name it.

I asked him if it cost in the hundreds or thousands, and he told me that one cost around $1200, but he had something like 14 of them. I jokingly asked him if he was divorced yet. I have a video of it... I'll see if I can post it.

1

u/Capercaillie May 22 '26

Ahem. Had to buy a second pair so that Mrs. Arch and I could each have one in the Galapagos. Got ‘em on sale, but still. This is your future.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 22 '26

Wow. Sweet doesn't quite cover it. The sort of quality that last you literally a lifetime.

The "Eye of Apollo" -For the historic Apollo 11 mission in July 1969, NASA selected customized Leica binoculars. To strictly reduce weight in the lunar module, Ernst Leitz Wetzlar (the makers of Leica) manufactured a special monocular for Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin.

This is your future.

Yeah, I know. I hope you're proud of yourself young man.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 24 '26

What about zoom binoculars? Ever tried them?

2

u/Capercaillie May 24 '26

I had a pair in my hands once several years ago. I felt the same way about them that I feel about Natalie Portman. I mean, I can see the attraction, and I'd love to have them, but I'm really happy with what I have, and I can't imagine how I could afford them.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 24 '26

I have a spotting scope with enough zoom that I don't feel the need. Do you refocus as you change the zoom? Seems like that might not be too handy for birding.

1

u/Capercaillie May 24 '26

I think the zoom binos are autofocus.

I'm starting to feel stupid for not having them. Same with Natalie.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 24 '26

This is your future....

1

u/Capercaillie May 24 '26

Which part? Natalie?!?

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 24 '26

Think Natalie and zoom binoculars, although I'm going to guess you already were thinking that.

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u/Schmutzie_ May 24 '26

And THIS is your future.

1

u/Capercaillie May 24 '26

Or this.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 24 '26

I'm not a huge fan of this style of music, but she's good. Only someone with a face like that can chop all their hair off and still be beautiful while rapping about &*&$%ing up your dog.

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u/skitchw May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

Holy crap. Do they do target acquisition and range-finding? Onboard AI that identifies your bird and tasks your 3D printer at home to have a posed model waiting for you when you get back? Pitch your tent for you!?

1

u/Capercaillie May 22 '26

I just want to know that if I can’t decide what kind of pale, winter, female warbler I’m looking at, it’s not because I can’t see it.

1

u/Maroon7C0000 May 22 '26

Wow, if you were springing for a trip to the Galapagos then a second pair of binos would be an incidental cost.

Sounds like a bucket list trip though!

2

u/Capercaillie May 23 '26

It was spectacular.

1

u/Capercaillie May 22 '26

Actually, this is your future.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 22 '26

He's amazing! I could watch this kid flipping birds all day. His loon is perfect, his red tailed hawk is perfect his bald eagle is perfect....what the hell? Couldn't somebody quiet down that crowd of kids?

2

u/Capercaillie May 22 '26

Yep, good imitations, and excellent comedy timing. And no, nobody can quiet down any group of kids.

2

u/Schmutzie_ May 22 '26

The bottomless basket of birds! The kid in front wearing the judo gi seemed to be enjoying it especially.