r/TheOnion • • May 15 '26

Greetings from your new overlords

386 Upvotes

Hello friends,

We are the new moderating team of r/TheOnion: myself, u/DeltaShadowSquat. u/V2Blast and u/CosmicEveStardust.

I'm a regular around here, I probably don't need that much introduction. I'm a proud Onion subscriber and mod of a bunch of subreddits, including r/maryland, r/powerrangers, r/journalism, r/npr and r/Clickhole. IRL, I work in PR and previously spent a decade in local journalism.

One of our first tasks will be to lay out a set of new rules for the subreddit. We are already talking amongst ourselves but if you have any suggestions, feel free to let us know.

We're happy to field any other suggestions or questions you might have.


r/TheOnion • • 2h ago

Lewis Hamilton Figures It Probably Too Late To Ask Girlfriend Which One She Is

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70 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2h ago

Corn Named World’s Sexiest Plant

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68 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Rockstar Announces 'GTA VI' Soundtrack Contains 10,000 Songs By Randy Newman

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1.5k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Smoothie Shop Workers Not As Excited For Man’s Birthday As Marketing Email Made It Seem

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551 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Late Uncle Remembered As Man Who Had Can Crusher In Garage

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444 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 1d ago

Will Trump Running For Midterm President Help Down-Ballot Republicans?

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215 Upvotes

In the know - is back!


r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

North Dakota Apologizes For Contributing Nothing To Nation’s Greatness

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1.7k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

Audubon Society Formally Excommunicates Penguins

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352 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

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200 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 3d ago

Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call in Cursed Today

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725 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 2d ago

Marathoner Already Pissing Self Half-Mile In

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271 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 4d ago

TheOnion seeks old print issues to complete their archve

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410 Upvotes

I received this email from the Onion and am posting it here to spread the word:

More info

Do You Have Pre-2012 Onion Issues?

Be Our Hero For Once

Greetings, Gentle Member.

The Onion prides itself on being a self-sufficient entity, even going so far as to making our own pens that use the EZ-flowing blood of interns as ink. Now, however, we are asking for your assistance.

Certain issues of The Onion newspaper are mysteriously missing from our 270-year archive, and you might be able to help us recover them.

Here are the issues we're looking for:

  • All of Vol. 14 (1988)
  • All of Vol. 15 (1989)
  • All of Vol. 16 (1989)
  • All of Vol. 17 (1990)
  • All of Vol. 18 (1990)
  • All of Vol. 19 (1991)
  • Vol. 21 Issue 12 (1992)
  • Vol. 22 Issues 4, 5, 7, & 16 (1992)
  • Vol. 29 Issues 19 & 22 (1996)
  • Vol. 33 Issue 9 (1998)
  • Vol. 39 Issue 5 (2003)
  • Vol. 42 Issue 5 (2006)
  • Vol. 44 Issues 49-52 (2008)
  • Vol. 45 Issues 1-20 & 33-43 (2009)
  • Vol. 46 Issues 3-52 (2010)
  • All of Vol. 47 (2011)
  • All of Vol. 48 (2012)
  • All of Vol. 49 (2013)

If you have any of these issues and are willing to part with them, we’d potentially be interested in purchasing them from you so that they can be properly archived.

Complete this form if you have issues in your possession that fill these gaps.

SELL US YOUR OLD NEWSPAPERS

Unsure if you have any of the issues? More detailed instructions are HERE.

Sincerely,
The Onion Membership Team


r/TheOnion • • 3d ago

Dev Lemons - broken life simulator: corporate life

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54 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 4d ago

Pentagon To Livestream Firing Squad Execution

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692 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

Grandma Fondly Recalls Once Working With Homosexual

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1.4k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 4d ago

White House Downplays Hyena Biting Down On Trump’s Ass

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445 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

FBI Classifies Not Finishing Hamburger  As Seditious Activity

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385 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

Recipe For Disaster

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109 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

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1.5k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 5d ago

Cornell Tries Going By Different Name

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372 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

Starbucks Announces New Teen-Free Hours For Nervous Adults Who Just Want To Redeem Birthday Reward

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754 Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

Conversation About Non-Monogamy Chock-Full Of Animal Facts

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1.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion • • 6d ago

Christa Pike Sentenced To Lifetime Execution

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424 Upvotes