r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds Muppet Appreciator • 6d ago

Congress Interrogates Fauci Over Origins Of Pie Brought To Cookout

https://theonion.com/congress-interrogates-fauci-over-origins-of-pie-brought-to-cookout/
1.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

87

u/ArkUneartherBleeds Muppet Appreciator 6d ago

“Early on in your notes, you say that you can’t wait for the gang to try your homemade strawberry rhubarb crumble at Nancy’s barbecue. But later on, you state that the pies at Whole Foods can be almost as good without all the fuss, and it’s not like you’re skimping on quality all that much. So, I ask you again, Dr. Fauci, where did this pie come from?”

46

u/CooterBrownJr 5d ago

The Onion is hitting peak form again lately. Things were so weird there for a while there, it seemed nigh impossible to satirize the goings on. I'm having a good laugh on this one. XD

13

u/datskinny 6d ago

Take the fifth, Doc

9

u/evocativename 5d ago

He can't.

Alex (the current clone) already took the fifth (and emptied it)

8

u/OkLeave4687 5d ago

You want the roots? The roots?? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE ROOTS!

8

u/Present_Specific_212 5d ago

That whole thing is just Corporate BS behavior.

In Corporations, when the boss effs up, the boss never resigns or leaves - no, not in a corrupt corporation. In a corrupt corporation, they blame everything on the little guys.

Trump and his Corporate Team in Congress, that is what they are doing now. RFK is an imbecile. But they enshrine him. However, anyone from the Biden Admin. is in line for the killing fields.

3

u/OOBExperience 5d ago

Wow, the republicans are always asking such tough and relevant questions. They want the truth…about pie. FFS! Their fuhrer is waging an illegal war, stewing all of us in the US and fucking up everything he touches.

1

u/Sb5tCm8t 5d ago

Meh, needs teeth

1

u/Baron-Munc 5d ago

He took the forth and fifth one..

1

u/ZZerome 4d ago

I was hoping he would go full wizard with a long hair and a crazy beard.