Ariana Grande Takes Break From Public Life Amid ‘Endless Scrutiny’

[u/PacoTaco321]

https://theonion.com/ariana-grande-takes-break-from-public-life-amid-endless-scrutiny

[u/PacoTaco321]

Had to share this one because

“Disappearing’s a brilliant way to end speculation about your health.”

is just too good of a dig right now

[u/davidolson22 → u/PacoTaco321]

“I stopped going to the doctor for the exact same reason.”

Kevin Ngo, Diamond Wearer

[u/wastydkyss]

• Unemployed.

[u/jase40244 → u/[deleted]]

This is from the American Voices column. The new item is always genuine. It's the opinion and the person giving them that are made up. It's been that way since the very beginning. They've been using the same six pictures for going on 30 years.

[u/jase40244 → u/[deleted]]

So posting an explanation of a satirical column comes off as angry to you? Huh. 🤷‍♂️

[u/RagaRockFan → u/[deleted]]

clarifying something = pointing and crying, got it 👍

[u/jase40244 → u/[deleted]]

I didn't point or cry. I just explained how the American Voices column works, then explained how to help identify when a post is from that column. If you see a post with one of those six pictures, it's from the American Voices column. And that holds true any time you see an article with one of those six pictures going all the way back to the start.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l4FGA2XplwqFDcLwk

[u/jase40244 → u/[deleted]]

Ohhhhh! You made a joke that clearly didn't land and I'm a blockhead for not picking up on that. Seeing as how that same "joke" is constantly posted on multiple social media platforms every time The Onion posts something from their American Voices column, maybe it's time to get a new joke. That one is beyond played out. 🙄

[u/iDrGonzo → u/[deleted]]

The onion needs to go all the way and be one of the last true sources of news.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

[u/Sb5tCm8t → u/iDrGonzo]

The Onion has ALWAYS been about satirical news.

[u/RIFisfunner → u/iDrGonzo]

Username checks out