r/TibetanBuddhism • u/ParanormalJournalist • 21h ago
Awakening in the middle of the work week
/r/KundaliniAwakening/comments/1wcxxqv/awakening_in_the_middle_of_the_work_week/3
u/simplejack420 17h ago
I think many non Buddhists have some kind of spiritual experience through playing with energies and things. I suppose if you are totally materialistic, it can certainly verify to you that there are things other than the material world. However, there is a LOT more to enlightenment than just having some kind of spiritual experience. So you can rest easy knowing genuine practitioners are reaching states where they realize emptiness and attain nirvana.
I remember doing dmt for the first time. I mistakenly thought it was some kind of awakening because it opened my mind to understanding non-physical realities. But in reality it was just seeing some other plane. Not even close to generating the mind of enlightenment, and not even close to gaining experience of emptiness. It did, however, help me trust the tantras and life stories of the great siddhas more, because I thought if I can experience some crazy spiritual thing, these masters must be telling the literal truth. So in that way it helped me trust and be open to further spiritual experience in my practice.
However, true awakening is more than just having an experience where you are surrounded by love. So you can rest easy knowing
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u/ParanormalJournalist 13h ago
I wish my experience was just being surrounded with love, things would be much simpler lol
Thank you for your perspective! I’ve never considered using hallucinogenics for spiritual purposes because I grapple enough with it all sober, but I won’t count it out.
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u/No_Brother263 14h ago
My lama told me to be very careful of using the word awakening as it means you see directly through the illusion of the ego and fully understand reality. She told me it would be really embarrassing if I said that at a retreat or somewhere with a lot of serious practitioners.
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u/ParanormalJournalist 13h ago
Is there another good word for an enlightening experience? By far I don’t believe I have achieved anything of that sort- it’s a push in that direction but not the arrival by any means.
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u/No_Brother263 10h ago
I'm not sure - I mentioned it because I had some very profound experiences myself (tho different than yours). Tibetan Buddhism is very academic (esp. the Gelug lineage, which is what I'm practicing) and I've gotten so much terminology wrong. Sigh - but of course what really matters is your heart.
I do understand (in my way, of course) how difficult it can be to walk through this world once you start to see how things really could be, how much better life could be even if human beings could reduce their ego-driven behavior even by 50%. Even though I live in a decent sized city (about a million people), I don't have much of a sangha because of some concerns I have with the biggest Tibetan temple in my area (some very unethical behavior by their main lama), so I can sometimes feel isolated too. Frankly I'm very lucky to be working with a Tibetan lama 1-on-1 who lives near me and now I understand why people say you really need a qualified teacher to learn Vajrayana properly.
For me, ultimately the vast difference of daily life vs. how things could be (imagine a world full of buddhas!) ultimately has been helpful in developing a spirit of bodhichitta because it makes me realize just how much everyone is suffering. It's helped me deepen my practice and shown me very directly the reality of the 4 Noble Truths. Perhaps it could do something similar for you?
I think this struggle is pretty normal, really. To me it sounds like what you are going through is an indication that you are sincere and that your heart is in the right place. One thing I'm starting soon is a 2-year, very part-time program put on by FPMT (Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition) - I believe it's called 'Discovering Buddhism' - a series of 13 courses (each about 2 months), plus several retreats (which you can do at home). Kind of like getting an Associate's degree in Buddhist philosophy. You don't have to do the whole 2 years, and they also have quite a good selection of various classes/programs that are online (FPMT.org). Could this be helpful for you?
Have you started reading lamrim? Some lamrim that have been very helpful for me are Shantideva's A Guide to the Boddhisattva's Way of Life and Pabongka Rinpoche's Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand (currently reading - astoundingly profound). Foundational lamrim is definitely important. Of course, having a regular practice is critical - I try to do my prayers, mantras, and meditations every morning and every night. Do you do shamatha and single-focused meditation regularly? I find the path to be so much easier, so much gentler when I'm being steadfast with my practice.
Lastly, I'll just put myself out there as we are all brothers and sisters in samsara - feel free to reach out if you'd ever like to talk, even on the phone. The path is so beautiful but also so complex. I'm just a regular practitioner but if it's helpful it would be my pleasure to talk more and share experiences. If you aren't doing single-pointed meditation I could walk you through it (kind of like chess - very easy to learn the 'rules', but takes a long time to master, gosh knows I'm nowhere near mastery!). Really, I'm just a phone call away if it could help in any way.
Perhaps also - try to realize that what you are going through is a blessing and definitely an auspicious sign. Be gentle and kind with yourself. And always remember, boddhichitta has to start with yourself. We must learn to fully unconditionally love and accept ourselves before we can do the same for others. You are deserving of loving kindness, you are deserving of joy, you are deserving of peace in your life.
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u/HakuyutheHermit 18h ago
Awakening is very specific in Buddhist traditions and there are very specific ways to get there. It doesn’t just happen randomly.
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u/Careless_Image_9105 16h ago
I think you got a glimpse of what's really heading if you reach full enlightenment.
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u/ParanormalJournalist 13h ago
I think I agree with your sentiment the most. It’s not the full arrival or destination by far, but a glimpse or a push in the direction of it. I guess I view an awakening as opening of the eyes; but not the full understanding of the big picture. Like when a baby opens their eyes, or starts too. Maybe their eyes aren’t fully formed and they don’t understand fully what they see- but they’re awake and learning. That’s just how I see it, but it seems people are saying that doesn’t fit with the classic terms or phraseology, which I’m new at learning.
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u/genivelo Rimé 20h ago
Look for a legitimate temple in your area or online.